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Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

LizVegas79 said:
You're not alone.

But that's also why we do NOT have a suggestion box LOL.

I feel another penis cliché coming on. Or is that cumming on?

Dang it, you could have at least given me a little warning!

Good thing I'm on a no-questions-asked policy with my dry cleaner!
Click to expand...
There will be a little more for you in your monthly services payment envelope for the cleaners... 😝
 
20cd77c11ddba690367bdaba6db506d4.jpg

This is my favorite yoga position. :D
 
AZDryHeat said:
Dr. Liz - If you can divest yourself from the pressing needs of some of your other clients, I have a problem that is effecting my ability to crush on women. It involves my ability to keeps secrets. Is this something you might be able to handle?
Click to expand...

Dear Unable To Crush Or Keep,

I can handle anything - just ask anyone! :devil:

But I am going to need you to fill in a few more deets before I can help you.

Your inability (I'm assuming) to keep a secret, though problematic, is not uncommon. If you feel that you are being judged for it, that too is not uncommon.

I do not understand how that could affect (I believe is the correct word) your ability to crush on women though. Unless you are a gynecologist or something like that and simply overwhelmed by the messy facts and biology of being a woman. (I'll admit, it's not always as pretty as we try ever so hard to make it seem!)

No secret lasts forever. That's why it's always best to be a truth-teller as much as possible. However, there is such a thing as betraying someone's confidence and trust in you. This is a very, VERY serious crime for women and if you have a reputation of being untrustworthy with us, we WILL know. Any woman you have ever betrayed has secretly scent-marked you and the rest of us all recognize and pick up on that scent immediately from the very first second we meet you. You can't wash it off. You can't scrub it off. All you can do is seek redemption from either the woman/women you've betrayed, or be understood and forgiven by enough other women for your transgression(s) so that they can re-scent-mark you back to neutral.

If, on the other hand, you are claiming that you ARE great at keeping secrets, this too is problematic as no woman ever tells anyone a secret without (secretly) expecting/hoping that that secret will indeed get out and spread. Usually sooner rather than later. Don't ask me why, it's just how we operate. It's not that we love drama. We just lean into it a little more than most guys do. Plus, unlike you guys and your analytic minds, we know there are actually three (if not more!) sides to every coin. Not just two.

So again, I do not understand how your ability or inability to keep secrets has any correlation to your ability to crush on women. Again, not unless you know more about our inner anatomy than you do about our outer anatomy.

Until you provide me with a little more info and background, my short term suggestion is to focus more on our outer anatomy. (without being a total perv about though please!)

If that doesn't work, then congratulations, you're probably gay! :nana:


- Doctor "The Simple Answer Is Often The Right One" Liz
 
I learned in therapy school never talk down to my patients.

But since business has been so slow lately, and since it was so much better
back when I did talk down to them, I have to remember how I did it.

Let's see ... I put my knee here ... and I grabbed the back of their chair like this
and I let my hair fall down on their face and said stuff like,
"Look at me pervert. Why would I lie to you?" ....

16.jpg


... hmmm, hopefully it'll start working again .....
 
LizVegas79 said:
I learned in therapy school never talk down to my patients.

But since business has been so slow lately, and since it was so much better
back when I did talk down to them, I have to remember how I did it.

Let's see ... I put my knee here ... and I grabbed the back of their chair like this
and I let my hair fall down on their face and said stuff like,
"Look at me pervert. Why would I lie to you?" ....

16.jpg


... hmmm, hopefully it'll start working again .....
Click to expand...
Sorry, I read that as never refuse to go down on my patients. That's as far as I read!
 
LizVegas79 said:
I learned in therapy school never talk down to my patients.

But since business has been so slow lately, and since it was so much better
back when I did talk down to them, I have to remember how I did it.

Let's see ... I put my knee here ... and I grabbed the back of their chair like this
and I let my hair fall down on their face and said stuff like,
"Look at me pervert. Why would I lie to you?" ....

16.jpg


... hmmm, hopefully it'll start working again .....
Click to expand...
Since you’re being so … open, I’d like to fill your slots.
 
LizVegas79 said:
Dear Unable To Crush Or Keep,

I can handle anything - just ask anyone! :devil:

But I am going to need you to fill in a few more deets before I can help you.

Your inability (I'm assuming) to keep a secret, though problematic, is not uncommon. If you feel that you are being judged for it, that too is not uncommon.

I do not understand how that could affect (I believe is the correct word) your ability to crush on women though. Unless you are a gynecologist or something like that and simply overwhelmed by the messy facts and biology of being a woman. (I'll admit, it's not always as pretty as we try ever so hard to make it seem!)

No secret lasts forever. That's why it's always best to be a truth-teller as much as possible. However, there is such a thing as betraying someone's confidence and trust in you. This is a very, VERY serious crime for women and if you have a reputation of being untrustworthy with us, we WILL know. Any woman you have ever betrayed has secretly scent-marked you and the rest of us all recognize and pick up on that scent immediately from the very first second we meet you. You can't wash it off. You can't scrub it off. All you can do is seek redemption from either the woman/women you've betrayed, or be understood and forgiven by enough other women for your transgression(s) so that they can re-scent-mark you back to neutral.

If, on the other hand, you are claiming that you ARE great at keeping secrets, this too is problematic as no woman ever tells anyone a secret without (secretly) expecting/hoping that that secret will indeed get out and spread. Usually sooner rather than later. Don't ask me why, it's just how we operate. It's not that we love drama. We just lean into it a little more than most guys do. Plus, unlike you guys and your analytic minds, we know there are actually three (if not more!) sides to every coin. Not just two.

So again, I do not understand how your ability or inability to keep secrets has any correlation to your ability to crush on women. Again, not unless you know more about our inner anatomy than you do about our outer anatomy.

Until you provide me with a little more info and background, my short term suggestion is to focus more on our outer anatomy. (without being a total perv about though please!)

If that doesn't work, then congratulations, you're probably gay! :nana:


- Doctor "The Simple Answer Is Often The Right One" Liz
Click to expand...
Doctor Liz,

Overwhelmed is the only thing I could say to your answer to my trivial problem. It is obvious that you gave it some serious thought before answering. But before going any further, let me correct one possible conclusion that you reached. I am neither gay nor any other gender identification other than straight. I adore women, both their inner and outer anatomies. Nor do I believe the biology of a woman is messy. (However, I do admit that there have been a few nasty wet spots left on the bed while exploring that inner anatomy.)

Here is a secret. I did not tell the complete truth in my original query. I can crush on women, but carrying through on that crush is sometimes difficult. Wait a sec. That was a secret, and now that I have told you the truth, you are probably losing any respect for me for being so open with you. And since I cannot crush on women who have no respect for me, it means I cannot crush on you. See what I mean that I always tell the truth no matter what the consequences.

I once had a personal secret about myself that I swore not to reveal to anyone. Then in a casual chat with a Litster I did not know, (She was named Axxxx something or other) it all came out. If it spread any further from her, I would be so ashamed that I would be forced to leave Lit. and the few uncrushed friends I have here.

So nothing is sacred unless I am entrusted with the confidence of another. My lips are then sealed forever. Lips stuck together. Maybe that is why I am not such a great conversationalist. Not as bad as having my foot in my mouth or my head up my ass. Both are known to happen frequently. So the bottom line is (I do so like female bottoms!) you can just forget about my fuckin' question. Maybe that way I can gain back some respect from you, and I will be able to crush on you. But only if you don't mind.
 
Dear Dr. Liz -

Dear Dr. Liz -

Having just returned from an extended visit with my Amish relatives (but remember, they are more than a generation or two removed from me), I am a bit perplexed about their social life. While there I met an attractive unattached lady that I wanted to get to know better. All of the dating functions that I was used to (a movie, dinner, dancing, driving around, etc.) were not tolerated in the community. Hence the only way to get to know her was by sitting (far apart) on the porch of her home and talking.

And yes. that was pleasant. After a month of this, she invited me to join her for the night. To my surprise, however, it consisted of sharing her bed, fully dressed, separated by a "bundling board", and just talking all night. Needless to say, I felt the relationship had no future.

But now back in the "real world", I find that I miss such extended conversation and am put off by the forwardness of the women I am able to meet. They're upset when they can't text me, send me selfies, or join them for a chat on social media (because I don't have a smart phone or belong to any of the social media sites). Is not actual personal contact still an acceptable means of communication?

I hope you may have some suggestions on how I can improve my social life.

Signed,

Your previous, but still shy, patient.
 
Last edited:
investor2020 said:
Dear Dr. Liz -

Dear Dr. Liz -

Having just returned from an extended visit with my Amish relatives (but remember, they are more than a generation or two removed from me), I am a bit perplexed about their social life. While there I met an attractive unattached lady that I wanted to get to know better. All of the dating functions that I was used to (a movie, dinner, dancing, driving around, etc.) were not tolerated in the community. Hence the only way to get to know her was by sitting (far apart) on the porch of her home and talking.

And yes. that was pleasant. After a month of this, she invited me to join her for the night. To my surprise, however, it consisted of sharing her bed, fully dressed, separated by a "bundling board", and just talking all night. Needless to say, I felt the relationship had no future.

But now back in the "real world", I find that I miss such extended conversation and am put off by the forwardness of the women I am able to meet. They're upset when they can't text me, send me selfies, or joint them for a chat on social media (because I don't have a smart phone or belong to any of the social media sites). Is not actual personal contact still an acceptable means of communication?

I hope you may have some suggestions on how I can improve my social life.

Signed,

Your previous, but still shy, patient.
Click to expand...
There's always Bingo. You might meet someone interesting there. :D
 
AZDryHeat said:
Doctor Liz,

Overwhelmed is the only thing I could say to your answer to my trivial problem. It is obvious that you gave it some serious thought before answering. But before going any further, let me correct one possible conclusion that you reached. I am neither gay nor any other gender identification other than straight. I adore women, both their inner and outer anatomies. Nor do I believe the biology of a woman is messy. (However, I do admit that there have been a few nasty wet spots left on the bed while exploring that inner anatomy.)

Here is a secret. I did not tell the complete truth in my original query. I can crush on women, but carrying through on that crush is sometimes difficult. Wait a sec. That was a secret, and now that I have told you the truth, you are probably losing any respect for me for being so open with you. And since I cannot crush on women who have no respect for me, it means I cannot crush on you. See what I mean that I always tell the truth no matter what the consequences.

I once had a personal secret about myself that I swore not to reveal to anyone. Then in a casual chat with a Litster I did not know, (She was named Axxxx something or other) it all came out. If it spread any further from her, I would be so ashamed that I would be forced to leave Lit. and the few uncrushed friends I have here.

So nothing is sacred unless I am entrusted with the confidence of another. My lips are then sealed forever. Lips stuck together. Maybe that is why I am not such a great conversationalist. Not as bad as having my foot in my mouth or my head up my ass. Both are known to happen frequently. So the bottom line is (I do so like female bottoms!) you can just forget about my fuckin' question. Maybe that way I can gain back some respect from you, and I will be able to crush on you. But only if you don't mind.
Click to expand...

Dear Getting In Your Own Way,

Thinking that I, or any other woman for that matter, will not respect you for telling us the truth about what you are feeling is a HUGE and TOTALLY WRONG assumption to make!

You are totally getting in your own way and over-thinking these kinds of situations too much.

It sounds to me like you are not betraying anyone's trust, you are not spreading lies or gossip, you are ONLY speaking your truth. Trust me on this, most women love, Love, LOVE!!! guys who can be open and honest about their feelings.

If you like someone, don't keep it a secret! Let them know! Not by running up to them and declaring your undying love to them, or burying them in an avalanche of mushy or sexually charged compliments. But in subtle ways. Open the door for her. Volunteer to do her a favor (start with something innocent like, "hey, I'm going to the grocery store later, would you like me to pick anything up for you?" and then proceed from there based on if/how she takes you up on your offers). Tell her she looks pretty today, or that whatever color dress she's wearing looks good on her.

Letting her know that you notice her, without sounding like you're obsessed with her, forms the basis for further flirting and sharing of wants, needs and other emotions.

I'd be willing to bet you are a great conversationalist if you would just stop censoring your feelings. Mention one of your favorite movies and ask her what one of hers are. Same with a book, or particular artist, or period in history. Taking interest in her interests while sharing your own WILL make your crushes deeper AND more meaningful AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, last longer!


- Doctor "Love Comes After Respect" Liz
 
investor2020 said:
Dear Dr. Liz -

Dear Dr. Liz -

Having just returned from an extended visit with my Amish relatives (but remember, they are more than a generation or two removed from me), I am a bit perplexed about their social life. While there I met an attractive unattached lady that I wanted to get to know better. All of the dating functions that I was used to (a movie, dinner, dancing, driving around, etc.) were not tolerated in the community. Hence the only way to get to know her was by sitting (far apart) on the porch of her home and talking.

And yes. that was pleasant. After a month of this, she invited me to join her for the night. To my surprise, however, it consisted of sharing her bed, fully dressed, separated by a "bundling board", and just talking all night. Needless to say, I felt the relationship had no future.

But now back in the "real world", I find that I miss such extended conversation and am put off by the forwardness of the women I am able to meet. They're upset when they can't text me, send me selfies, or join them for a chat on social media (because I don't have a smart phone or belong to any of the social media sites). Is not actual personal contact still an acceptable means of communication?

I hope you may have some suggestions on how I can improve my social life.

Signed,

Your previous, but still shy, patient.
Click to expand...

Dear Missing Simpler Things,

My goodness you have some incredible patience! That is so rare with most guys these days!

Some women are saints. Some women are sluts. It's just how it is. Finding that rare gem who is a saint in her public life and a slut in the bedroom is hitting the proverbial exacta in the world of relationships.

But the good news is it can be done! We are out there, waiting just as desperately as you are to find us.

Personal contact is STILL the MOST acceptable and dare I say most desirable means of communication between a man and woman (or whatever combo floats your mutual boats). You are simply suffering withdrawals from real, honest and pure communication. In this brand new world of pandemics and random shootings you are not alone in trying to find ... and hang onto ... a more stable, strong and heartfelt connection with someone else.

The first thing you have to do is being honest with yourself, and by extension with me. The first question you need to ask yourself is, are you looking to get married and start a life with someone, or are you looking to get laid as soon as possible?

Now I understand that may be a bit of a jolting question for someone struggling with the vagaries of religious correctness. But trust me, for a normal, healthy man such as yourself, that IS the first question you have to ask yourself AND you have to answer it honestly - not how you think others want or expect you to answer it.

If you need to do the shaggy dog with someone in order to off-load all this tension and confusion you're carrying around and manifesting in your loins, there's nothing wrong with that. Just realize that your distant Amish cousin is not the best choice to target for such a perfectly natural and understandable aspiration. You are much better off calling up one of those sluts sending you selfies of themselves, asking them out to dinner tomorrow night, then listening to and smiling at everything they say until it's time to take her back to your place, put a cute red ball gag in her mouth, and let nature take its course.

However, if spiritual matrimony with someone you respect and can't stop thinking about is your ultimate goal, then my all means buy a horse and gallop back to this distant cousin of yours with a modest yet sensible assortment of freshly picked wild flowers in one hand and a cock cage, I mean a ring, in the other.


- Doctor "In A World Of Choices, You Have All The Power (if I say so)" Liz :D
 
LizVegas79 said:
Dear Missing Simpler Things,

My goodness you have some incredible patience! That is so rare with most guys these days!

Some women are saints. Some women are sluts. It's just how it is. Finding that rare gem who is a saint in her public life and a slut in the bedroom is hitting the proverbial exacta in the world of relationships.

But the good news is it can be done! We are out there, waiting just as desperately as you are to find us.

Personal contact is STILL the MOST acceptable and dare I say most desirable means of communication between a man and woman (or whatever combo floats your mutual boats). You are simply suffering withdrawals from real, honest and pure communication. In this brand new world of pandemics and random shootings you are not alone in trying to find ... and hang onto ... a more stable, strong and heartfelt connection with someone else.

The first thing you have to do is being honest with yourself, and by extension with me. The first question you need to ask yourself is, are you looking to get married and start a life with someone, or are you looking to get laid as soon as possible?

Now I understand that may be a bit of a jolting question for someone struggling with the vagaries of religious correctness. But trust me, for a normal, healthy man such as yourself, that IS the first question you have to ask yourself AND you have to answer it honestly - not how you think others want or expect you to answer it.

If you need to do the shaggy dog with someone in order to off-load all this tension and confusion you're carrying around and manifesting in your loins, there's nothing wrong with that. Just realize that your distant Amish cousin is not the best choice to target for such a perfectly natural and understandable aspiration. You are much better off calling up one of those sluts sending you selfies of themselves, asking them out to dinner tomorrow night, then listening to and smiling at everything they say until it's time to take her back to your place, put a cute red ball gag in her mouth, and let nature take its course.

However, if spiritual matrimony with someone you respect and can't stop thinking about is your ultimate goal, then my all means buy a horse and gallop back to this distant cousin of yours with a modest yet sensible assortment of freshly picked wild flowers in one hand and a cock cage, I mean a ring, in the other.


- Doctor "In A World Of Choices, You Have All The Power (if I say so)" Liz :D
Click to expand...
I like my advice better. :D
 
LizVegas79 said:
I wish. If she did, I'd be driving around in a brand new, cute Tesla instead of that old used Kia in the parking lot.

What I'm saying is JJ usually forgets to bill at all! :D
Click to expand...
Leave
LizVegas79 said:
I wish. If she did, I'd be driving around in a brand new, cute Tesla instead of that old used Kia in the parking lot.

What I'm saying is JJ usually forgets to bill at all! :D
Click to expand...
Hey! Leave Bill out of this, he'll have to wait his turn!:nana:
 
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