Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[JerseyJade]

It kind of is, huh?

Well you always told me the more the better... although you were thinking more money where as I was thinking.... oh, never mind.

 

[LizVegas79]

No, we were thinking of the same thing.

More is always waaay better. Even if it gets in my hair, I just pretend to be mad.

 

[AZDryHeat]

Dear Getting In Your Own Way,

Thinking that I, or any other woman for that matter, will not respect you for telling us the truth about what you are feeling is a HUGE and TOTALLY WRONG assumption to make!

You are totally getting in your own way and over-thinking these kinds of situations too much.

It sounds to me like you are not betraying anyone's trust, you are not spreading lies or gossip, you are ONLY speaking your truth. Trust me on this, most women love, Love, LOVE!!! guys who can be open and honest about their feelings.

If you like someone, don't keep it a secret! Let them know! Not by running up to them and declaring your undying love to them, or burying them in an avalanche of mushy or sexually charged compliments. But in subtle ways. Open the door for her. Volunteer to do her a favor (start with something innocent like, "hey, I'm going to the grocery store later, would you like me to pick anything up for you?" and then proceed from there based on if/how she takes you up on your offers). Tell her she looks pretty today, or that whatever color dress she's wearing looks good on her.

Letting her know that you notice her, without sounding like you're obsessed with her, forms the basis for further flirting and sharing of wants, needs and other emotions.

I'd be willing to bet you are a great conversationalist if you would just stop censoring your feelings. Mention one of your favorite movies and ask her what one of hers are. Same with a book, or particular artist, or period in history. Taking interest in her interests while sharing your own WILL make your crushes deeper AND more meaningful AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, last longer!


- Doctor "Love Comes After Respect" Liz

Dear Doctor Liz,

My SO is a trained psychologist with years of experience as a therapist. She asked me to tell you that your answers to me and others are spot on. Only someone with a similar background could answer the questions you address as well and as clearly as you do. Thank you for being on Lit.

 

[Sundayschild]

No, we were thinking of the same thing.

More is always waaay better. Even if it gets in my hair, I just pretend to be mad.

That's what makes you the best Liz. Honesty

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Doctor Liz,

My SO is a trained psychologist with years of experience as a therapist. She asked me to tell you that your answers to me and others are spot on. Only someone with a similar background could answer the questions you address as well and as clearly as you do. Thank you for being on Lit.

Awww, that's so sweet of you (and her!) to say that you're making me cry right now.

Please tell her I appreciate that so much you have no idea!

I've always said that being a bartender in Las Vegas was like getting a PhD in psychology. Unfortunately my "diploma" is just a wine stained drink napkin with a famous person's phone number on it. (and no, I'm not going to tell you whose but I promise you've definitely heard of her!)

 

[LizVegas79]

"Go away. I'm waiting for my appointment with Doctor Liz.
I need her advice about something. Oh? You're waiting too?
Well I was here first so just ... well, thank you, I don't normally
wear leather but I was feeling a little what-the-fuck today.
So, why are you here? I mean, besides for being a pervert."

 

[LizVegas79]

"Thank you for calling Doctor Liz's psycho-sexual therapy clinic.
How can we help you today you naughty bad boy?"

 

[JerseyJade]

Hey, Liz... here's something you should get for the clinic. Maybe even put one in your office.

 

[investor2020]

View attachment 2156558

"Dr. Liz, I think I'm your 3:00 . . . "

 

[zipper01us]

This is a continuation of my very first thread Ask Doctor Liz. Please feel free to go back and visit it, laugh or share any thoughts on here you have about it.

It was a fun and wildly unpredictable ride thru the psyche of all the Litsters that played along. I sincerely feel like I helped some people. I always tried to be straight forward and honest with my advice. I may have lost or been a little mean to a patient or two along the way but sexual psycho-therapy is an inexact science at best LOL

We may (or may not lol) have gone on a retreat, we invented (and perfected) Taco Therapy, we caused a few boners, we cured LOTS AND LOTS of boners (based on all the PM's me and JJ and Nova got!), and we have solved the great Hummingbird Feather Mystery, among many other adventures.

Since I joined Lit I've shared a lot of my messed up past and also my more "well-adjusted" happy life now. I've made a lot of friends and a lot of acquaintances on here. Aside from the daily cock pics and graphic PM's describing what some of you would like to do to me, I've made a real connection with some of you and a passing connection with a few lurkers.

I love those of you who I chat with about our problems and insecurities, doubts and hiccups in life. This thread is in NO WAY meant to replace that connection.

However, during a naughty role play where I was a dom-bitch psychiatrist (imagine that! big stretch, huh? ) for a submissive slave toy, I got the idea to start this thread. It took off, we passed 5,000 posts, so I've decided to continue it. I hope all of you will play along again.

I invite men and women to ask me questions or present a problem and ask me for advice. (remember I'm bi too, so ask anything you want ).

It can be any sexual question, situation, problem, or scenario you want. It can be as serious or silly as you wish.

If others want to answer too, feel free! I welcome different opinions. However, if you want to be one of my certified taco therapy specialists you have to pass my rigorous interview first

I don't know whether this will continue to be popular or not but I sure hope so!

At least for now though, Doctor Liz is listening ....

My question I’m sure is not new to you. I lost my father at a young age of 9. I was the youngest of the family as both of my sisters were much older. My mom was a stay at home mom until dad passed and went to beauty school to become a hairdresser. I pretty much raised myself from the age of eleven. Not really realizing this until I got older my my was soon to turn into a slut. She brought men home constantly to fuck them not realizing I had matured enough to know what was going on. She had also become an alcoholic.
She started parading around the house half naked if not completely. I am sure by now your saying is there a question anywhere here. My question is looking back now do you think she was trying to seduce me. As much as I hate to admit it after a few years when I was about 14 I started to get aroused when I looked at her. She was probably in her mid fifties by then but kept herself in great shape. She had the most beautiful breast and until this day I’ve never seen nipples that were as long as hers. I think she wanted me and she new I’m sure that I was using her panties in my masturbating sessions. Like I said looking back now I just wished I had been brave enough to make a move on her. Am I insane thinking back on this now and still getting aroused or was I and am I still just perverted ?

 

[Pad_Foot]

Doc,
Is “Sumata” something women would devote more time to if men made it clear that it was desired?
Trib Envy

 

[LizVegas79]

Doc,
Is “Sumata” something women would devote more time to if men made it clear that it was desired?
Trib Envy

Dear Teaching By Asking,

I am, for the moment anyways, stumped. Because I do not know what Sumata is and I don't feel like Googling it.

However, this is good. As an unlicensed professional it's important for me to know more what the word means to you than what it means to me.

So please, enlighten me. I'm all ears. Well, all ears and legs. Well, actually, to be honest, all ears and legs and hair because I slept on it wrong and it's a mess.


- Doctor "I Love To Learn New Things" Liz

 

[Pad_Foot]

What it means to me?
Matching, in one way, what a woman can give a woman by putting off my needs
Rather than Tribadism-clit on clit.. lip grinding
Sumata is labia on cock without penetration
The ability to provide pleasure without risking immediate climax due to penetration not that it might not evolve to that after enough pleasure has been provided

 

[LizVegas79]

My question I’m sure is not new to you. I lost my father at a young age of 9. I was the youngest of the family as both of my sisters were much older. My mom was a stay at home mom until dad passed and went to beauty school to become a hairdresser. I pretty much raised myself from the age of eleven. Not really realizing this until I got older my my was soon to turn into a slut. She brought men home constantly to fuck them not realizing I had matured enough to know what was going on. She had also become an alcoholic.
She started parading around the house half naked if not completely. I am sure by now your saying is there a question anywhere here. My question is looking back now do you think she was trying to seduce me. As much as I hate to admit it after a few years when I was about 14 I started to get aroused when I looked at her. She was probably in her mid fifties by then but kept herself in great shape. She had the most beautiful breast and until this day I’ve never seen nipples that were as long as hers. I think she wanted me and she new I’m sure that I was using her panties in my masturbating sessions. Like I said looking back now I just wished I had been brave enough to make a move on her. Am I insane thinking back on this now and still getting aroused or was I and am I still just perverted ?

Dear Alone and Confused,

So sorry to hear of your loss at such a tender, young age. The challenge of losing your father was no doubt as equally challenging for your mother. You just chose to deal with it differently than she did. It's understandable if there was a time when you blamed her for the spiral your family probably had to endure. But I hope you've moved past any blame now, or at least that you've let go of enough of the past in order to move on and be happier in your adult life.

Forgive yourself for any fleeting carnal desires you may have had towards your mother back when you were a budding teenage boy. You simply were and still are genetically pre-programmed to get aroused by the sight of breasts and naked women. You and your body basically had two psycho-sexual options in those situations: 1) let nature take its course and get aroused or, 2) be so confused by the sight of your naked mother parading around your house when you were a teenage boy that you found it less confusing to be attracted to men.

Using her panties for your solo satisfaction was a choice. You made it and I'm not going to judge you for it. However, now that you are older, if you are still keeping those bygone years fresh in your memory and thinking about them and fantasizing what-if / should have / could have scenarios and fantasies about them, well then, yes, I would say you might have a problem. But not because you're thinking what you're thinking. But because this kind of thinking and fantasizing is almost certainly going to impact your relationships with other women, especially any woman (or women) you are partnered, or thinking of partnering, with. You could, very easily, start resenting all women because none of us can fill the void that you feel.

Plain and simple, I believe you have abandonment issues. It's okay to be attracted to and even seek out the love and compassion of an older woman that you can love and respect back because that was something that was not available to you as a child and we all need to feel and experience the comfort and love and knowing that she's always there for us love that only a mother can offer. But when you expect that nurturing motherly love from your spouse, or girlfriend, or even that perfect girl next door you might be waiting to come along, you're going to be woefully disappointed the first time they screw up and don't give you what you think you want from them. And that disappointment could lead to big, big problems, including withdrawal, lashing out, blame, and other less than healthy emotions. I suspect the carnal desire you are currently feeling towards your mother is actually just your guy way of trying to control a situation you had no control over. Your guy brain is thinking, if I can fuck her then that means I'm in control. But fantasizing about being with her proves how little control you had back then and how desperate you are to make sense of / book-end that chapter of your life. I honestly don't feel like it has anything to do with you being a "pervert". You are simply desperate to get some closure with your mother.

The good news is, abandonment issues sometimes take a little time to work thru but they can almost always be worked out and replaced with positive reinforcement as long as you learn to distinguish between what you think you want and what you actually need.

Do yourself (and your current partner) a favor and make an appointment with a local therapist to talk thru some of these issues. More often than not, just having a non-judgmental space to talk (or vent if you need to - that's perfectly okay! maybe you do!) helps us find our own solutions rather than burdening those around us with the impossible task of finding solutions for the problems we're in denial about.

Give it a try. Sorry for being a little blunt. But back when I was a bartender, you wouldn't believe how many late night discussions like this I had with guys who had confusing relationships with their mothers or step-mothers or sisters. Know that you are not alone. I know it's tough. But try to talk with someone about it with someone you trust who will keep everything you say strictly confidential.



- Doctor "Older Women Rule For Lots of Reasons" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

What it means to me?
Matching, in one way, what a woman can give a woman by putting off my needs
Rather than Tribadism-clit on clit.. lip grinding
Sumata is labia on cock without penetration
The ability to provide pleasure without risking immediate climax due to penetration not that it might not evolve to that after enough pleasure has been provided

Dear Onto Something,

Fuck yes! Share the hell out of this desire with whoever you are with next. I can almost guarantee that she will love it!


- Doctor "I Need Someone To Sumata Me!!" Liz

 

[FranklyFrank]

Dear Top Doc,

It's always nice to see you open and the clinic in operation mode. Yes, even with messy hair. That might in itself be a stimulus for some!

Checks my calendar for my next appointment. Yep, it's coming soon!

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Top Doc,

It's always nice to see you open and the clinic in operation mode. Yes, even with messy hair. That might in itself be a stimulus for some!

Checks my calendar for my next appointment. Yep, it's coming soon!

Ummm, yeah sure, whatever day works for you. Just, umm, not today okay?

I, umm, thought this was a holiday and my hair ... I basically wasn't planning on leaving my house today to be honest!

 

[LizVegas79]

"Wait. How big did you say it was? Really? You know what? Let me check.
Doctor Liz might actually be able to work you in today. And if she can't,
well, you should still come in anyways because, umm, I would be more
than happy to take a look at it for you if you like."

 

[LizVegas79]

"Did you just juice your pants, sir? Well, I think you did because I can see the wet spot from here.
Tissues are there on the table. I promise JJ or Doctor Liz will be with you as soon as they can.
Try to wait a little longer next time, okay? Maybe stop looking at our magazines for a minute or two."

 

[ShaneoD]

"Did you just juice your pants, sir? Well, I think you did because I can see the wet spot from here.
Tissues are there on the table. I promise JJ or Doctor Liz will be with you as soon as they can.
Try to wait a little longer next time, okay? Maybe stop looking at our magazines for a minute or two."

Why did this make me think of the "embarrassing boner stories" thread (one of my first posts if I remember correctly), I can't imagine there been too many "embarrassing juice your pants" stories though

Also her looking as far away as possible from her cleavage, who does she think she's fooling?

 

[LizVegas79]

"Hey Doctor Liz. One of our patients in the waiting room is getting pretty impatient. He's been
looking thru our magazines for over an hour. Oh yeah, it's definitely out. It's a pretty nice one
too. I'm guessing at least nine or ten inches and that's from over here. My purple v-neck. You
know, the one you like? Really? No, I don't mind. I know, it's great for my skin. Oh don't be
silly. I can pay for my own dry cleaning. Oh, you're so sweet. Okay. I'll go see if he needs any help."

 

[zipper01us]

Dear Alone and Confused,

So sorry to hear of your loss at such a tender, young age. The challenge of losing your father was no doubt as equally challenging for your mother. You just chose to deal with it differently than she did. It's understandable if there was a time when you blamed her for the spiral your family probably had to endure. But I hope you've moved past any blame now, or at least that you've let go of enough of the past in order to move on and be happier in your adult life.

Forgive yourself for any fleeting carnal desires you may have had towards your mother back when you were a budding teenage boy. You simply were and still are genetically pre-programmed to get aroused by the sight of breasts and naked women. You and your body basically had two psycho-sexual options in those situations: 1) let nature take its course and get aroused or, 2) be so confused by the sight of your naked mother parading around your house when you were a teenage boy that you found it less confusing to be attracted to men.

Using her panties for your solo satisfaction was a choice. You made it and I'm not going to judge you for it. However, now that you are older, if you are still keeping those bygone years fresh in your memory and thinking about them and fantasizing what-if / should have / could have scenarios and fantasies about them, well then, yes, I would say you might have a problem. But not because you're thinking what you're thinking. But because this kind of thinking and fantasizing is almost certainly going to impact your relationships with other women, especially any woman (or women) you are partnered, or thinking of partnering, with. You could, very easily, start resenting all women because none of us can fill the void that you feel.

Plain and simple, I believe you have abandonment issues. It's okay to be attracted to and even seek out the love and compassion of an older woman that you can love and respect back because that was something that was not available to you as a child and we all need to feel and experience the comfort and love and knowing that she's always there for us love that only a mother can offer. But when you expect that nurturing motherly love from your spouse, or girlfriend, or even that perfect girl next door you might be waiting to come along, you're going to be woefully disappointed the first time they screw up and don't give you what you think you want from them. And that disappointment could lead to big, big problems, including withdrawal, lashing out, blame, and other less than healthy emotions. I suspect the carnal desire you are currently feeling towards your mother is actually just your guy way of trying to control a situation you had no control over. Your guy brain is thinking, if I can fuck her then that means I'm in control. But fantasizing about being with her proves how little control you had back then and how desperate you are to make sense of / book-end that chapter of your life. I honestly don't feel like it has anything to do with you being a "pervert". You are simply desperate to get some closure with your mother.

The good news is, abandonment issues sometimes take a little time to work thru but they can almost always be worked out and replaced with positive reinforcement as long as you learn to distinguish between what you think you want and what you actually need.

Do yourself (and your current partner) a favor and make an appointment with a local therapist to talk thru some of these issues. More often than not, just having a non-judgmental space to talk (or vent if you need to - that's perfectly okay! maybe you do!) helps us find our own solutions rather than burdening those around us with the impossible task of finding solutions for the problems we're in denial about.

Give it a try. Sorry for being a little blunt. But back when I was a bartender, you wouldn't believe how many late night discussions like this I had with guys who had confusing relationships with their mothers or step-mothers or sisters. Know that you are not alone. I know it's tough. But try to talk with someone about it with someone you trust who will keep everything you say strictly confidential.



- Doctor "Older Women Rule For Lots of Reasons" Liz

I had to read this twice but I believe you were right. I do have issues I need to deal with, but it’s going to be hard ( no pun intended) !

 

[LizVegas79]

"Uh-huh. And what other kind of pervy, kinky shit are you into? Actually,
that's kind of hot. Well the good news is Doctor Liz can totally help you.
She has lots of experience in that area. And what she doesn't know she
makes up. No, sorry, we don't accept personal checks. Cash or credit card
only. Would you prefer open toed sandals for your appointment with her?
Cute pumps? Or that she wear her thigh high leather bitch boots for you?"

 

[ShaneoD]

"Uh-huh. And what other kind of pervy, kinky shit are you into? Actually,
that's kind of hot. Well the good news is Doctor Liz can totally help you.
She has lots of experience in that area. And what she doesn't know she
makes up. No, sorry, we don't accept personal checks. Cash or credit card
only. Would you prefer open toed sandals for your appointment with her?
Cute pumps? Or that she wear her thigh high leather bitch boots for you?"

That's an impossible question to answer, take my money!!

 

[LizVegas79]

Why did this make me think of the "embarrassing boner stories" thread (one of my first posts if I remember correctly), I can't imagine there been too many "embarrassing juice your pants" stories though

Also her looking as far away as possible from her cleavage, who does she think she's fooling?

I guess it could be an embarrassing boner story LOL. I didn't even think of that. I'm sure it's happened before to someone out there while waiting for the doctor's appointment. I mean, guys still have a thing for attractive nurses, right? If they didn't it wouldn't be such a popular Halloween costume for women!