Aussie's Self Pleasure Study Club

[LittleSwitchy]

And go ahead and describe the vibrator you chose for our first adventure, and why:

I grabbed a hot pink sonic clit stimulator. It's a lelo Sona and very pretty.

My ex gf swears by Lelo.
If I may make a suggestion. Maybe try a clit pump. It’s fairly inexpensive. It makes your clit come out and say hello. It also makes your clit more sensitive.
Something to think about. If it interests you at all

 

[Diosax]

I'd rather read erotica than have bad sex

But good real sex cannot be replaced by anything

Also i have no children to take into consideration

 

[Icy1]

How about reading erotica and then having sex. I’ve always found that to be quite satisfying.

 

[neakman]

How about reading erotica and then having sex. I’ve always found that to be quite satisfying.

Okay you read to me and I shall gratify you sexually.....hehe

 

[Lord Pmann]

My mind is completely blown but what some of you are saying here. You would rather read than have sex.

What are you fuckers (ironic use of the word) reading?!? I’ve yet to see the book that would be preferable to sex. (Please link me to the stories/books/magazines)

 

[Strixaluco]

My mind is completely blown but what some of you are saying here. You would rather read than have sex.

What are you fuckers (ironic use of the word) reading?!? I’ve yet to see the book that would be preferable to sex. (Please link me to the stories/books/magazines)

Not all sex is worth having (even if there is no story to replace it). It's easy to find written erotica that is better than mediocre sex, for example on Lit. What it is for each of us varies of course. Here's one of my favourites: Dom of my dreams

Good sex, on the other hand, is a totally different thing. It just can't be compared.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

My mind is completely blown but what some of you are saying here. You would rather read than have sex.

What are you fuckers (ironic use of the word) reading?!? I’ve yet to see the book that would be preferable to sex. (Please link me to the stories/books/magazines)

There’s more to someone then a wet hole. There’s gotta be a connection.
TBH bad sex/ only doing one position is horrible. I’d do something else then have bad/ repetitive sex.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

My mind is completely blown but what some of you are saying here. You would rather read than have sex.

What are you fuckers (ironic use of the word) reading?!? I’ve yet to see the book that would be preferable to sex. (Please link me to the stories/books/magazines)

I think you are forgetting to factor in just how terrible some dudes are at the sex

 

[n8Romantic]

I think you are forgetting to factor in just how terrible some dudes are at the sex

Shoot! I'm certainly guilty of this. Always hear when you point a finger at someone else, you have four pointed back at you.

That being said, I prefer bad sex to no sex. No sex leaves no room for improvement. Have a great day ya'll!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I prefer bad sex to no sex.

That's fair.

I value my time more these days and I don't need a dude to orgasm. So unless my pleasure is an equal part of the equation, I'm not bothering with someone else. And if I'm only visible when he's got an erection, also, not particularly interested.

I think I'm growing up

 

[Strixaluco]

Shoot! I'm certainly guilty of this. Always hear when you point a finger at someone else, you have four pointed back at you.

That being said, I prefer bad sex to no sex. No sex leaves no room for improvement. Have a great day ya'll!

There is the kind of bad sex that makes one not to want to try whether it will improve. Like the guy being utterly selfish ass (while usually boasting how great lover he is). I very much prefer no sex to that.

You seem to have enough humbleness to avoid that description.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Alright friends,

It's time we talk about the orgasm gap that exists in the world today. Blame whatever the fuck you want. But if you engage in that game, you must also listen to other people's perspectives and weigh opinions appropriately; ie- a woman talking about something that affects women  may know just a little more than your mansplaining buddy, ok?

Ok.

Heterosexual women are woefully unstimulated during sex (except in Scandanavian countries where their sex ed curriculum teaches how to sexually simulate erogoneous zones in women ). A 1994 study by Laumann et al. of sexual practices in the United States found that 75.0% of men and 28.6% of women always had orgasms with their spouse.

Y'all, I find this unacceptable. And I fully support someone giving themselves the orgasms they deserve because their partnered sex doesn't get there. Gay women do not have this gap, gay men don't have this gap. This is a uniquely heterosexual phenomenon.

I can tell you from experience that once you have exceptional sex, it's hard to want to just lie still and take one for the team. As was stated before, it's more than being a wet hole. I know the "any hole's a goal" crowd may disagree, and that's okay.

So, let's talk orgasms. Orgasm gaps. And how masturbating shapes our sexual expectations.

 

[Icy1]

I think you are forgetting to factor in just how terrible some dudes are at the sex

Haha. Definitely a factor if the dude treats sex like a solo pursuit.

 

[Strixaluco]

(except in Scandanavian countries where their sex ed curriculum teaches how to sexually simulate erogoneous zones in women ).

Sorry but at least in the 1990's that wasn't part of sex ed in Finland at all. We were taught general things about the biology of reproduction, might have included a pic where clitoris can be found, but definitely not how to stimulate anything - or how widely one can find erogenous zones around the body.
(What else was included was stds, birth control etc. The right to say no. Oh and in the same connection also about menstruation for girls. I don't really recall more than that anymore.)

So while we are better off in terms of for example preventing teen pregnancies, attitudes towards nudity are more natural, and our society doesn't have as bad double standards as the US - which all help a lot! - it's easy to find men who have no idea about how to really pleasure a woman.

So, let's talk orgasms. Orgasm gaps. And why masturbating shapes our sexual expectations.

One thing is that we should educate our peers and the girls to not accept the gap. To think we deserve to enjoy sex just as much. And of course we should also teach boys that them enjoying doesn't automatically mean the girl is enjoying too, which isn't acceptable.

Masturbating is a good way of learning oneself, and girls should be encouraged to experiment. We should also encourage girls and women to show their partner what they like and what works for them, if needed.

Now there's more in my head but can't get anything more into any coherent text due to being ill with covid. Others please pick up!

 

[Icy1]

I feel like I have so many thoughts and feelings on this complex subject and it is difficult to sort it into a cohesive few paragraphs.

I think over the course of a lifetime what you need from sex changes. Knowing your own body through masturbation helps you know what you want.
Should someone else be responsible for your orgasm? Should it be a joint pursuit to give each other pleasure?
Honest communication with a partner probably is the key.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

Alright friends,

It's time we talk about the orgasm gap that exists in the world today. Blame whatever the fuck you want. But if you engage in that game, you must also listen to other people's perspectives and weigh opinions appropriately; ie- a woman talking about something that affects women  may know just a little more than your mansplaining buddy, ok?

Ok.

Heterosexual women are woefully unstimulated during sex (except in Scandanavian countries where their sex ed curriculum teaches how to sexually simulate erogoneous zones in women ). A 1994 study by Laumann et al. of sexual practices in the United States found that 75.0% of men and 28.6% of women always had orgasms with their spouse.

Y'all, I find this unacceptable. And I fully support someone giving themselves the orgasms they deserve because their partnered sex doesn't get there. Gay women do not have this gap, gay men don't have this gap. This is a uniquely heterosexual phenomenon.

I can tell you from experience that once you have exceptional sex, it's hard to want to just lie still and take one for the team. As was stated before, it's more than being a wet hole. I know the "any hole's a goal" crowd may disagree, and that's okay.

So, let's talk orgasms. Orgasm gaps. And why masturbating shapes our sexual expectations.

Who’s “ mansplaining” who?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Who’s “ mansplaining” who?

What do you mean?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I feel like I have so many thoughts and feelings on this complex subject and it is difficult to sort it into a cohesive few paragraphs.

I think over the course of a lifetime what you need from sex changes. Knowing your own body through masturbation helps you know what you want.
Should someone else be responsible for your orgasm? Should it be a joint pursuit to give each other pleasure?
Honest communication with a partner probably is the key.

I agree and have experienced everything you talk about here. It's so worth building the skills and leveling up to have stronger sexual conversations and build bonds in different ways over the years. What I love is that the conversation is shifting to allow women to embrace their sexual selves in ways that have been socially taboo in the past. I see so much hope in our younger peers watching them navigate conversations about sex, sexuality and consent.

In the context of my relationships, sex isn't always about pleasure or physical needs. In this season of my life, sex is far less frequent and when we find the time to make the effort, it's just as much about connection as it is about getting off. At other times we've had the kind of sex that brings us both to our knees. What keeps us going is the fact that we can talk about it. Highly recommend.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

I feel like I have so many thoughts and feelings on this complex subject and it is difficult to sort it into a cohesive few paragraphs.

I think over the course of a lifetime what you need from sex changes. Knowing your own body through masturbation helps you know what you want.
Should someone else be responsible for your orgasm? Should it be a joint pursuit to give each other pleasure?
Honest communication with a partner probably is the key.

I agree. If we don’t know what pleases us. How can we explain it to our partner.
To me I don’t think anyone is responsible for anyones orgasm/ ejaculating. One compliments the other. Like a couple dancing a tango.
We should pay attention to the partners reactions. Like we do XYZ. I notice a not so good reaction. Let’s try ABC.

 

[Icy1]

My mind is completely blown but what some of you are saying here. You would rather read than have sex.

What are you fuckers (ironic use of the word) reading?!? I’ve yet to see the book that would be preferable to sex. (Please link me to the stories/books/magazines)

Maybe this would be the book?

 

[LittleSwitchy]

Maybe this would be the book?

Lol. Thanks for the laugh. That was good.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Maybe this would be the book?

More copies sold than the Bible

 

[Icy1]

I agree and have experienced everything you talk about here. It's so worth building the skills and leveling up to have stronger sexual conversations and build bonds in different ways over the years. What I love is that the conversation is shifting to allow women to embrace their sexual selves in ways that have been socially taboo in the past. I see so much hope in our younger peers watching them navigate conversations about sex, sexuality and consent.

In the context of my relationships, sex isn't always about pleasure or physical needs. In this season of my life, sex is far less frequent and when we find the time to make the effort, it's just as much about connection as it is about getting off. At other times we've had the kind of sex that brings us both to our knees. What keeps us going is the fact that we can talk about it. Highly recommend.

Yes, when it’s accepted that sex is for all genders enjoyment. No shame for it.

In a long term relationship there really is so many changes along the way.

I agree. If we don’t know what pleases us. How can we explain it to our partner.
To me I don’t think anyone is responsible for anyones orgasm/ ejaculating. One compliments the other. Like a couple dancing a tango.
We should pay attention to the partners reactions. Like we do XYZ. I notice a not so good reaction. Let’s try ABC.

Sometimes we don’t know how much something will please us until we’ve allowed ourselves to experience it.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

Icy. There’s times the excitement of the mental doesn’t work out in trying it. Then there’s times that feeling of .. I don’t know. Then turns out to be something very much enjoyed.

 

[n8Romantic]

That's fair.

I value my time more these days and I don't need a dude to orgasm. So unless my pleasure is an equal part of the equation, I'm not bothering with someone else. And if I'm only visible when he's got an erection, also, not particularly interested.

I think I'm growing up

Personally, pleasuring and enjoying other people, sexually or not, demands being attentive to their needs. Even if it's just listening.

Most of the bad sex I'm referencing has been inflicted by me, not to me. If I haven't made someone feel wanted and valued, that's a failure on my part.

Oh yeah, don't grow up too quickly.