Aussie's Self Pleasure Study Club

[aussiegeekygal]

What can you tell me about the female mind during masturbation?

I’ve always heard men are more visual when it comes to being turned on. I think visuals help a great deal, but I can also read a story, think up scenarios, think about my current or previous sexual partners…

I suspect women aren’t entirely different, but men feel the urge to do it far more often it seems.

I'm not sure if it's a function of gender or brain diversity.

I don't possess the ability to visualize things when I close my eyes. I also don't have an internal monologue. Unless I have outside stimulation, I struggle to think about sex in those terms.

Part of why I started this thread was to have to place to document what I'm learning about me, and this is one thing I'm realizing: I have to work with my body and brain. I can watch porn, or even just focus on my own pleasure and not sex at all. I'm still figuring out what to do with my mind during masturbation. It all feels a bit forced and unnatural.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Different sized pieces for the different sized clit hoods.

That sounds similar to the Lelo Sona line which I tried and hated. It used air and had this moving piece that could pinch your skin… kind of horrifying.

My favorite is the Lelo Ina Wave 2, but I have a large collection.

I’ve never named them, but have had partners who have

 

[aussiegeekygal]

It’ll come.

I know. I'm such a n00b. It feels so weird to not be naturally good at this

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I think what I need to do is commit to buying and using a new toy every couple of weeks to figure this shit out. I have a few toys that I've collected and used partnered, so now it's my turn to do the work to learn what my body does and does not enjoy.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I think what I need to do is commit to buying and using a new toy every couple of weeks to figure this shit out. I have a few toys that I've collected and used partnered, so now it's my turn to do the work to learn what my body does and does not enjoy.

That’s similar to the approach I’ve taken. There are more rejected or often unused toys than ones getting a good workout, but I’ve learned with each of them. It can be fun with partners, but I think I’ve truly learned more about myself when not distracted by all the fun and pleasure of partnered sex.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Fingers are free.

For sure, and I've been giving them a workout.

I also have a shit ton of competing priorities and I want to expedite the learning/rewards. Like digging a trench, if I have to do the manual work, it's not going to be nearly as high a priority for me. I'd rather just not masturbate and do something else that's pleasurable, instead.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

That’s similar to the approach I’ve taken. There are more rejected or often unused toys than ones getting a good workout, but I’ve learned with each of them. It can be fun with partners, but I think I’ve truly learned more about myself when not distracted by all the fun and pleasure of partnered sex.

Yes!

The pressure in partnered sex is insane. I've had some exceptional sexual experiences and they've all been at times where time was not a factor and we could settle in and really explore.

That's so not an option in my life right now and if I want to get to know my body, I need everyone out of the room and absolutely no outside distractions.

 

[nicechat]

"If it feels good do it if it hurts just let it lie"

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I've been thinking a lot about desire.

There are two different types of desire; spontaneous and responsive. Some of us can spontaneously feel arousal whilst others tend towards arousal in response to sexual stimulus, and in some cases (like me) a lot is needed.

For as sexual a being as I am, in order to have that true "spontaneous" desire I need to be quite invested. It also helps to be ovulating...

I think I've been waiting for spontaneous desire to strike in order to "feel like" masturbating, and in those cases of arousal I'd honestly just rather have sex. This has worked for me to until now but I realized something... If my desire defaults to responding, I need to give my body something to respond to

I've had this theory that if I masturbate every day, even if I'm not "in the mood" and give my body a chance to catch up that I'll find a sexy side of me I haven't met yet. My shower head made her acquaintance tonight.

I think I need a sticker chart.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I've been thinking a lot about desire.

There are two different types of desire; spontaneous and responsive. Some of us can spontaneously feel arousal whilst others tend towards arousal in response to sexual stimulus, and in some cases (like me) a lot is needed.

For as sexual a being as I am, in order to have that true "spontaneous" desire I need to be quite invested. It also helps to be ovulating...

I think I've been waiting for spontaneous desire to strike in order to "feel like" masturbating, and in those cases of arousal I'd honestly just rather have sex. This has worked for me to until now but I realized something... If my desire defaults to responding, I need to give my body something to respond to

I've had this theory that if I masturbate every day, even if I'm not "in the mood" and give my body a chance to catch up that I'll find a sexy side of me I haven't met yet. My shower head made her acquaintance tonight.

I think I need a sticker chart.

All good scientists know you need to track results in your experiments

Wether it will work for you too I don’t know, but your hypothesis resonates with me. I’ve had long stretches where for one reason or another sex or orgasms aren’t on my mind at all and it didn’t bother me one bit. Once I moved past whatever the reason(s) were and started focusing more on myself or feeling good, inevitably I’d end up remembering how much I enjoy it and what a perv I am. It’s kind of like internal confirmation bias? Whichever cycle I’m in tends to perpetuate itself until something significant happens to change things. Sometimes that significant thing is me deciding to make it a priority to get back to the more fun filled, orgasmic routine. I’m a lot happier, more patient, and nicer when I’m having lots of orgasms, regardless of the way they’re achieved.

 

[HoneyMeadows]

I have realised that my stress response is to orgasm, otherwise I have a meltdown. By exploring this from your various prompts I have found that my relationship with masturbating is rooted in extremely unhealthy behaviours.

I need to start writing these down.

 

[MedicalMuse]

This is the best self help thread. I’m digging all the self discovery and revelations.

 

[jarigi]

Reading through the previous posts, makes me realize how complex the female brain is regarding sex but more particularly orgasm. Certainly, a woman can enjoy intercourse very much without having a climax, and indeed my observations of the female orgasm suggest that on occasions it can build to such a level as to be apparently verging on being painfully sensitive. Perhaps nature therefore intended the orgasm to be one which 'built' but without necessarily peaking. One which meant the woman enjoyed sex and caused her to be responsive to a man, without actually coming, something it has been shown the male anatomy has difficulty providing physically anyway. (A penis looks and behaves nothing like vibrator). I think most men would enjoy their partner to come with them, regardless of what some women here have intimated. The simple fact that most men masturbate and in fact achieve this basic human action quite simply and quickly, while many women require sophisticated electronic apparati to achieve the female orgasm, strongly suggests that Mother Nature has much to answer for when ascribing 'blame' for the lack of climactic response when engaged in sexual intercourse. Also, it would seem many women are ignorant of the structure of their own bodies, let alone what is required to achieve orgasm easily. This may be due to their upbringing it's true, though again, I would suggest, given a higher percentage of men masturbate than women, that the real reason lies deep within the female psyche, the way the brain is wired rather than external conditioning.
Finally, I suggest the reason men masturbate (if sex is not available), is because males require physical release of semen at fairly regular intervals dependant upon mood and health, otherwise, well, we become cranky and find it difficult to concentrate! Men NEED to 'get their rocks off'! It may be likened to the female period, the change of mood, though generally not as extreme, somewhat comparable in my opinion. Women of course have a monthly cycle which affects both their mood and sexual needs, but this is a much longer cycle than a mans (typically a few days) and may explain why their desires for orgasm are not as frequent as men and therefore, why the learning curve of masturbation is not as speedy or needy? Women complain men 'have only one thing on their mind' and maybe that is true! But don't blame us. It's Mother Nature's fault!

 

[mickyp123]

OF COURSE it took an Australian woman to find out the clitoris properly. I mean OF COURSE.

We know clits.

And C creamers

 

[jarigi]

Did you just liken a women’s period to a man getting off?

Both are the result of hormones.

 

[KatieDoes]

Reading through the previous posts, makes me realize how complex the female brain is regarding sex but more particularly orgasm. Certainly, a woman can enjoy intercourse very much without having a climax, and indeed my observations of the female orgasm suggest that on occasions it can build to such a level as to be apparently verging on being painfully sensitive. Perhaps nature therefore intended the orgasm to be one which 'built' but without necessarily peaking. One which meant the woman enjoyed sex and caused her to be responsive to a man, without actually coming, something it has been shown the male anatomy has difficulty providing physically anyway. (A penis looks and behaves nothing like vibrator). I think most men would enjoy their partner to come with them, regardless of what some women here have intimated. The simple fact that most men masturbate and in fact achieve this basic human action quite simply and quickly, while many women require sophisticated electronic apparati to achieve the female orgasm, strongly suggests that Mother Nature has much to answer for when ascribing 'blame' for the lack of climactic response when engaged in sexual intercourse. Also, it would seem many women are ignorant of the structure of their own bodies, let alone what is required to achieve orgasm easily. This may be due to their upbringing it's true, though again, I would suggest, given a higher percentage of men masturbate than women, that the real reason lies deep within the female psyche, the way the brain is wired rather than external conditioning.
Finally, I suggest the reason men masturbate (if sex is not available), is because males require physical release of semen at fairly regular intervals dependant upon mood and health, otherwise, well, we become cranky and find it difficult to concentrate! Men NEED to 'get their rocks off'! It may be likened to the female period, the change of mood, though generally not as extreme, somewhat comparable in my opinion. Women of course have a monthly cycle which affects both their mood and sexual needs, but this is a much longer cycle than a mans (typically a few days) and may explain why their desires for orgasm are not as frequent as men and therefore, why the learning curve of masturbation is not as speedy or needy? Women complain men 'have only one thing on their mind' and maybe that is true! But don't blame us. It's Mother Nature's fault!

There’s so much fucked up about this I don’t even know where to start.


That you don’t make women cum is not the fault of Mother Nature.


I….just…..wow.

 

[HoneyMeadows]

Did you just liken a women’s period to a man getting off?

There’s so much fucked up about this I don’t even know where to start.


That you don’t make women cum is not the fault of Mother Nature.


I….just…..wow.

Thank you for responding. I had no idea where to start but perhaps next time I'll just respond with my first instinct, which in this case was "eeewwwwwwww" (the sound doesn't quite translate properly)

In my experience men not giving me orgasms was because they had no idea how to stimulate the clitoris and refused to accept my instructions on what I liked. If I had then the clarity I have now, I wouldn't have wasted my time with them.

 

[KatieDoes]

Thank you for responding. I had no idea where to start but perhaps next time I'll just respond with my first instinct, which in this case was "eeewwwwwwww" (the sound doesn't quite translate properly)

In my experience men not giving me orgasms was because they had no idea how to stimulate the clitoris and refused to accept my instructions on what I liked. If I had then the clarity I have now, I wouldn't have wasted my time with them.

Women aren’t mysterious, you just have to STOP TALKING OVER US AND FUCKING LISTEN.

How many men come in here complaining about their sexless marriages, and say that they have no clue how it happened, and she never said anything, she just stopped fucking them. But then they‘ll also complain about how much women nag…… Dude. She told you. She told you what she needed from you, and you ignored her. No, she doesn’t give a fuck about your needs now. Just like you didn’t give a fuck about hers.

 

[KatieDoes]

Also:

Women only lack orgasm when they fuck men.

Women cum when they masturbate or fuck other women.

The problem isn’t women, or nature, or anatomy.

I mean, keep fucking up. It just makes it even easier for me to steal your girl

https://www.forbes.com/sites/janetw...n-fewest-orgasms-study-finds/?sh=5d68162a722d

 

[HoneyMeadows]

Women aren’t mysterious, you just have to STOP TALKING OVER US AND FUCKING LISTEN.

I would love to learn how anyone responds to people talking over them in a professional setting. I've just had this done to me and I'm raging

 

[hairball18]

I would love to learn how anyone responds to people talking over them in a professional setting. I've just had this done to me and I'm raging

A total lack of respect and should have been addressed by the person in charge.

 

[HoneyMeadows]

I go quiet and look at the interruptor. I don’t respond to their (his) statement, but I say, “As I was saying…” and carry on.

Thank you

I do something similar but I have got to stop the auto-apologising that I have been trained to do as well. I'm actually not sorry that they're assholes enough to do that

 

[KatieDoes]

I would love to learn how anyone responds to people talking over them in a professional setting. I've just had this done to me and I'm raging

I possess a withering stinkeye, so having pissed me off is pretty hard to miss.

I do what Fara said. Just pick back up like I hadn’t heard them.

But I’m ‘abrasive’…. So there’s that.

 

[KatieDoes]

A total lack of respect and should have been addressed by the person in charge.

If the person in charge is also a man, there‘s very little chance it will be addressed unless Honey addresses it.

 

[KatieDoes]

I am phone bone Jerome, so you know I jerk before work lol.

I am not really going to get into my habits, but will share experiences of others, that was shared with me.


Growing up, I knew 2 males who claimed, they don't masturbate. One used to get laid a lot, the other moderately. My friend who moderately got laid, said the had leakage ( cum leakage ), when he didn't have sex for a long time. I don't know how true it is, because I jerk mine all the time.


I was friends with females who claim they don't masturbate, some who claim they can only cum from penetration and others who claim they can only cum through clit stimulation. My thinking is, a woman can have sex whenever she wants, almost no man will turn her down, so I can see them not masturbating. I could be wrong in my assumptions, but this is what I think. It's not surprising to me. I've dated a woman, who didn't masturbate, but she was constantly in the mood for some .



I can only speak on my behalf, but the mind is the most powerful sex organ. When I'm mentally stimulated, anything she does can be extreme in sexual pleasure. I've had masturbation sessions, that was more pleasurable, than physical sex I've had

Most women are better at getting ourselves off than a random hook up will be.