Aussie's Self Pleasure Study Club

[Joxlrg]

I didn't actually masturbate. I'm the mum of tiny humans. I don't have time for that shit

And it wasn't about you

This thread makes me smile.. And I am paying attention

 

[aussiegeekygal]

This thread makes me smile.. And I am paying attention

Good.

If you're married to a woman, I hope your wife feels seen and validated in the coming days/weeks/years.

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

wow... 1st page in, bad dragons - I am enlightened

 

[aussiegeekygal]

My ex was so threatened by me masturbating. He thought it meant I didn’t need him.

I think I need to talk to you.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

wow... 1st page in, bad dragons - I am enlightened

Right?! Part of me thinks that needs to be my next challenge

 

[aussiegeekygal]

You're one tough cookie and very intelligent, mfers better not disrespect you lol. Whoop their ass Aussie!!!!

Yes, and also exceptionally privileged.

I won the accent lottery. I get away with so much because people find my accent charming. I'm also tall which people respect whether we're willing to admit it or not.

 

[KatieDoes]

‘Privilege’ isn’t a dirty word or something to be afraid to admit to having.

If it makes you more comfortable to call it ‘lack of obstacles’, feel free to do that.

Having privilege, be it race, gender, class, wealth, etc, doesn’t mean that you didn’t work.

 

[KatieDoes]

First things first, steal a hug from Fara!



This is my opinion, from my perspective and what I see. Only speaking about race and not speaking of sex

I feel most people who find good jobs or careers, get in through a hook up ( meaning knowing the right people ). While I know 100%, some have much less of an opportunity, using the word privilege has divided people and caused my people ( black and Hispanic people ) to lose hope. I have seen people in the neighborhoods I live in, believe they have no chance of escape and if they don't have an incredible skill, fall into crime for money. I also feel, when you use the word privilege, it undermines every struggle that person has been through. I feel like we ( meaning black and brown people ) need to empower ourselves and realize they can succeed, I do feel we have to work harder and be exceptional to succeed, but there is opportunity.

If I was someone in great power, I know I'd hook up my family, friends and listen more, to someone who wants a opportunity and has similar life experiences. Of course, before that, I'll give the most pivotal positions, to anyone whose going to help grow my enterprise, but beyond that, I'd give some hook ups.


I don't mind anyone else using the word privilege, but I'm more careful in using the word.

I think that the existence of privilege and inequality in a system that was created intentionally to empower some at the expense of others has caused more hopelessness and frustration than the use of the word has.

 

[KatieDoes]

I've seen it my whole life Fara, from friends; family and people I've grown up with. They don't feel they have any hope and quit before trying. I have lived in very poor ghetto neighborhoods and it's very common. I am one of the few, who have this opinion where I'm from, but have analyzed and done my personal research. I am not speaking of LGBTQ++++ or of sex, just people from the neighborhoods I grew up in

I grew up in rural Appalachia, and for several years in my 20’s lived in the Hood.

The Hood and The Holler share a lot of similarities. (which is why the people in power work so hard to make sure that the Hood folks and the Holler folks fight with each other instead of fighting together)

Hopelessness isn’t caused by knowing the facts behind the system and how and why it was built the way that it was. Hopelessness is caused by the lack of opportunity, options, and actual system that was built to keep people in it.

 

[cheekygirl75]

Thank you for responding. I had no idea where to start but perhaps next time I'll just respond with my first instinct, which in this case was "eeewwwwwwww" (the sound doesn't quite translate properly)

In my experience men not giving me orgasms was because they had no idea how to stimulate the clitoris and refused to accept my instructions on what I liked. If I had then the clarity I have now, I wouldn't have wasted my time with them.

This, men not accepting instructions, is something that I felt let down about too when it came to sex (the main other being not being able to have an orgasm through penetration alone)… magazines and books told me that I should be bold when it came to telling my partner what I liked, that men would find it sexy and would actually be relieved to know how to help me cum. It took me a long time to work up to that, with a lot of self blame along the way as to why I never came during sex… but I finally got to the point I could force myself to do it. It was still difficult for me. I took his hand to reposition his fingers where it would feel better to me. He pulled his hand out of mine and went back to what he was doing, that was NOT doing it for me.

That was my last lover and Covid has made finding another irl one difficult… but thankfully I came back here and have been able to practice saying what I want & need. And have been able to meet men who *do* listen, so I know they’re out there! I was honestly starting to doubt it.

 

[Stillrandy]

I was following this discussion (at a distance) so I could take notes.
And then it segued from self-pleasure to social commentary. A lot of threads do this, start out one way then end up somewhere else. Not complaining, just interesting.

P.S. Looked up that Bad Dragon site; they show masturbators (for men in my case), but all of them and many of the dildos show as 'out-of-stock'. Wonder if it is a going business?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

And then it segued from self-pleasure to social commentary

And then you would have seen my response that they're intertwined.

What are you trying to say with this comment?
You don't approve?

 

[Joxlrg]

I was following this discussion (at a distance) so I could take notes.
And then it segued from self-pleasure to social commentary. A lot of threads do this, start out one way then end up somewhere else. Not complaining, just interesting.

P.S. Looked up that Bad Dragon site; they show masturbators (for men in my case), but all of them and many of the dildos show as 'out-of-stock'. Wonder if it is a going business?

I saw that as well.. They also have backed away from their shipping in 24 hour guarantee

 

[Mrtenant]

First things first, steal a hug from Fara!



This is my opinion, from my perspective and what I see. Only speaking about race and not speaking of sex

I feel most people who find good jobs or careers, get in through a hook up ( meaning knowing the right people ). While I know 100%, some have much less of an opportunity, using the word privilege has divided people and caused my people ( black and Hispanic people ) to lose hope. I have seen people in the neighborhoods I live in, believe they have no chance of escape and if they don't have an incredible skill, fall into crime for money. I also feel, when you use the word privilege, it undermines every struggle that person has been through. I feel like we ( meaning black and brown people ) need to empower ourselves and realize they can succeed, I do feel we have to work harder and be exceptional to succeed, but there is opportunity.

If I was someone in great power, I know I'd hook up my family, friends and listen more, to someone who wants a opportunity and has similar life experiences. Of course, before that, I'll give the most pivotal positions, to anyone whose going to help grow my enterprise, but beyond that, I'd give some hook ups.


I don't mind anyone else using the word privilege, but I'm more careful in using the word.

Being someone who grew up Very poor, I can relate to a lot of this. There was a time when it looked like homelessness and jail was going to be my future. I either could not find help from people or organizations or did not know how. I am one of those people that literally pulled myself up by the bootstraps and changed my destiny. Worked 2 full time jobs, did commission art, went to college and powered my way through poverty with my young strong body. It took me years.

I can never forget how lonely and desperate a journey that was. It has since become one of my life purposes to help those people that cross my path and look to me. I am a licensed financial planner, operate a food pantry, and recently started a GoFundMe to help the homeless.

Sometimes, I'm a goofy pervert on Lit.

 

[SinfuIDreams]

This, men not accepting instructions, is something that I felt let down about too when it came to sex (the main other being not being able to have an orgasm through penetration alone)… magazines and books told me that I should be bold when it came to telling my partner what I liked, that men would find it sexy and would actually be relieved to know how to help me cum. It took me a long time to work up to that, with a lot of self blame along the way as to why I never came during sex… but I finally got to the point I could force myself to do it. It was still difficult for me. I took his hand to reposition his fingers where it would feel better to me. He pulled his hand out of mine and went back to what he was doing, that was NOT doing it for me.

That was my last lover and Covid has made finding another irl one difficult… but thankfully I came back here and have been able to practice saying what I want & need. And have been able to meet men who *do* listen, so I know they’re out there! I was honestly starting to doubt it.

First off I want to say I feel this.
I've always struggled with actually pointing out what feels good to me. I might talk a good game on here and be able to list every single thing that will make my toes curl.
When it comes to verbal communication my face turns red and the words freeze in my throat, God forbid I actually have to show some kind of direction to him I flounder and will end up accepting whatever way he touches me even if it's not what I want.

I admire you Cheeky for stepping out of your comfort zone and trying to guide him, that guy was an ass and didn't deserve the chance to pleasure you.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I admire you Cheeky for stepping out of your comfort zone and trying to guide him, that guy was an ass and didn't deserve the chance to pleasure you.

Agree!

We all deserve so much better.

 

[Joxlrg]

Ok.. Ive sat in the corner for a while..
I will say this..
When she did tell me what she liked... I learned.. And because I learned.. I can get her off three times in nine minutes..
I know this because often time we meet for a lunch.. Eat ... Talk.. Catch up on each others day.. Then when she is in the mood.. The pickup seat becomes a lunch table.
Bottom line is that listening and actually doing what she enjoys ends up bringing both WAY more pleasure !!
Have a good night Lit friends

 

[Mrtenant]

So what contributes to your spank bank?

Or is that a need to know basis? Cool either way.

Some people just wander around horny all the fucking time, needing very little to get from 0 to 60. Eye candy, an inoccuous touch, a whispered word, memory, story, skinflick?

What kind of research do you do?

I've looked a lot at male sexuality and how to control it. (Its tough being young and so fucking horny that you literally get hard when the wind blows) I imagine most men don't know that they can orgasm without ejaculating, and control it. It takes a good bit of body control training.

I have recently been reading about how yoga is great for controlling your sexuality. I may have to dive into that sometime.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

So what contributes to your spank bank?

Being treated as a whole human being with her own needs and desires. Being asked what I want and recognizing that my desire and pleasure matters. Not just in sex, but in life.

Some people just wander around horny all the fucking time, needing very little to get from 0 to 60. Eye candy, an inoccuous touch, a whispered word, memory, story, skinflick?

Yes. Those people have spontaneous desire. They typically have low sexual brakes and high sexual accelerators. We are all on a spectrum and it's not a binary function. I think it's time to have another Sex Ed lesson on the cognitive science of desire here. We had one in the e-fucking thread and it seemed to be really well received

What kind of research do you do?

It's changed over the years.
In my twenties I was researching muon detectors and prostate cancer.
These days I research sensory systems, sleep related breathing disorders and neural nets (human and artificial).

 

[Diosax]

I was just having a conversation with someone younger than I and he said something about a group of people and it wasn't negative per say but the fact that it was said meant it was negative already.

I happen to be in the group of people he made the comment about and I pointed out that if he felt a certain way about a certain group of people then he should know that I am a member of this said group and that playing wasn't going to work (for me) (this specific issue can apply to anything, sex, socio economic status, race, sexuality, weight, nationality, immigration status etc)


In the interest of time, I'm not going to go through the conversation because the point of this post is that it made me think about how people (okay men, is men) can try to play, have sex, etc with someone that they don't like just for the purpose of getting off. And they don't understand that for women, feeling safe and seen (as Aussie just stated a few posts above) is a big part of what gets us off.

Editing this to add that maybe I should've added this to the e-boning threat but it e-boning involves masturbation so the claim can be made that it belongs here too

 

[Apisto42]

Lurking.

I’m not really here.

Oops. Sorry about the slupge…

 

[aussiegeekygal]

That wouldn't include the impact of brain injury on sleep apnoea, by any chance? AFAF.

No, but what a  fascinating direction to head.

My work has been more on the anatomical structures of the face and neck and how they impact certain cognitive and sensory functions. Sleep plays a huge part in this from a regulation standpoint and the AI we're training is detecting abnormalities in human faces that could potentially lead to breathing difficulties down the road. There's a lot of implications, but the two biggest reasons we're doing what we're doing are for anesthesiologists to have safer outcomes and for early intervention in kids. If we can treat these obstructions in kids at puberty we can change so much about their ability to regulate through those really tough times because they won't be choking in their sleep.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Lurking.

I’m not really here.

Oops. Sorry about the slupge…

https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/2109376/Prescriptive-Maintenance-Slippery-Floor-Treatment.jpg


Expect a letter from my lawyer.

Look at me Americaning like an American

 

[peekingone]

I must admit. I totally enjoy hearing what a women likes or how to make it better. Open communication helps and can be a super turn on also. Just my thought.

 

[Apisto42]

I think I may just go masturbate thinking about putting a man in his place

My place is always wherever she needs me to be. Under, over, behind, sideways.