Being autistic, adhd and random stuff

[PMarky3]

Well the only reason that I've failed to obtain an official diagnosis is because there is only one specialist employed to cover a massively populated geographical area, and his expertise is based upon his own asperger experience. ie: "you fill the multiple choice questionaire with limited options that don't fit and if they don't tell me what I want to hear then I'm not interested in you as a client". I can't name him because I don't wish to face another court case. I've won every one that I've had to deal with but I just don't want the pain of it all. He's a charlatan and there's nothing I can do about it short of moving to another location where I'd be totally lost and know absolutely no-one.
The problem arises out of a health service run by a government that isn't interested in investing in adult mental health services unless there's a backhander or two somewhere along the line.

I was a bit surprised when I did not have a major fight on my hands when I wanted to get checked out. My health care is through my wife's retirement plan, and is pretty good, plus we are close to a major University Medical School, so there tends to be no shortage of docs apart from decent PCPs. However, it took two different doctors to come up with a diagnosis. Doc 1 was not interested in Autism/ADHD, so he simply screened me for early outset dementia, which was what the wife was convinced I was showing signs of having. Doc 2 ran the standard diagnostic tests on me and came to the conclusion that I am both ASD-1 and inattentive ADHD, and that medication might not be all that helpful because whilst it would damp down the ADHD it would make the ASD more noticeable. I suspect he rather enjoyed having me through his office as I am not ignorant of the basics in his field, and that made his life a little easier. Anyway, the upshot was that he suggested finding a counsellor. I was already doing that because I was having some emotional problems, and already suspected I was ASD-1.

The counsellor was picked on the basis of being comfortable with dealing with both mid-life crises and ASD, and it seems to work. I did suggest pretty strongly that they should not give me a male counsellor because there would be a strong chance I would clam-up or be evasive. The Counselling Center put me with a tall slim brunette who had recently qualified, and usually deals with ASD teenagers judging by the books in her office. Anyway, I got someone nice to look at but not "distracting" - which puts me in a cooperative mood, as well as a decent counsellor, and she gets a break from teenaged angst. Her favourite phrases seems to be 'have you considered...?' and 'How does that make you feel...? Though after the first few times she got my, "I don't do feelings!" response she added "why do you think you do that?" to her range of stock questions. The positive side is that I am feeling a lot less stranded, and not letting my emotional attachments obstruct my day-to-day life.

 

[stickygirl]

I suspect that we do think a bit differently, but that’s a good thing.

To be fair, it is like saying water is wet, but neither of us are professors!

 

[PMarky3]

To be fair, it is like saying water is wet, but neither of us are professors!

Sometimes the obvious needs to be stated because "the experts" have gotten wrapped up in their theories.

 

[Underscore_2]

Sometimes the obvious needs to be stated because "the experts" have gotten wrapped up in their theories.

And sometimes it's the simplest things because they're under the illusion that everything has to be complicated and thus needs a complicated explanation

 

[stickygirl]

Oh ffs!
I organised a weekend with a old friend weeks ago to go sailing and I've planned tides, meals, travel and another person. She'd just phoned to say she has car trouble so 'Can we switch to the following w/e?' It felt like she'd thrown a bucket of adrenaline over me, my heart is still racing and I can't think straight.
Thank heavens I know this is a classic autistic reflex but, "Okay! I get it. Please stop fucking around, Brain. This is not a big deal" Though tbh, it is fucking inconvenient.

/vent

 

[diavolo2025]

Would planning something fun you can do by yourself distract from the inconvenience?

 

[stickygirl]

Would planning something fun you can do by yourself distract from the inconvenience?

Yeah, thanks. I'm juggling more unknowns in the air like plates. The anxiety acid-bath is slowly passing after 2 hours... fuck knows what all those chemicals do to your insides. No wonder we die young, eaten up by stress.

 

[diavolo2025]

Yeah, same movie playing here as well. Good luck.

 

[Strixaluco]

No wonder we die young, eaten up by stress.

I avoid thinking about it, I'm living in permanent stress these days.

 

[stickygirl]

I avoid thinking about it, I'm living in permanent stress these days.

Yeah, virtual non-huggy hugs all round.

An hour or two lying in a field watching clouds would help me... but then the bugs find you.

 

[Underscore_2]

Oh ffs!
I organised a weekend with a old friend weeks ago to go sailing and I've planned tides, meals, travel and another person. She'd just phoned to say she has car trouble so 'Can we switch to the following w/e?' It felt like she'd thrown a bucket of adrenaline over me, my heart is still racing and I can't think straight.
Thank heavens I know this is a classic autistic reflex but, "Okay! I get it. Please stop fucking around, Brain. This is not a big deal" Though tbh, it is fucking inconvenient.

/vent

Inconvenient that the tides will have a time difference of 7-8 hours, which is a bigger or lesser nuisance, depending on location.

 

[Strixaluco]

Yeah, virtual non-huggy hugs all round.

An hour or two lying in a field watching clouds would help me... but then the bugs find you.

I'd need the plumbing reno gone (it's just 2/8 weeks through) and also min 2 weeks all-inclusive to rest... Oh and maybe a lottery win to fix my financial security with this health. Don't even need a huge win, 1M € would suffice for the rest of my life.

 

[sluttylilsecret]

I never been diagnosed -_- but looking back i think i struggled a lot. I think i just learned how to mask early.

 

[Underscore_2]

I never been diagnosed -_- but looking back i think i struggled a lot. I think i just learned how to mask early.

That's what many of us had to do

 

[stickygirl]

Inconvenient that the tides will have a time difference of 7-8 hours, which is a bigger or lesser nuisance, depending on location.

Yup, the following week is spring tides which demands careful planning.

I’ve calmed down now and all the effects have gone. It felt like panic. My bf told me ‘let’s go just by ourselves and pretend they were going to visit next week’ . I love that man so much

 

[stickygirl]

I never been diagnosed -_- but looking back i think i struggled a lot. I think i just learned how to mask early.

Sing it! I’ve nothing against self-diagnosis - contrary to current media bs, badges are not on ration. Do read up though, because at the end of the day, you need the right plan for your problems and whatever makes your life manageable.

 

[Underscore_2]

Yup, the following week is spring tides which demands careful planning.

I’ve calmed down now and all the effects have gone. It felt like panic. My bf told me ‘let’s go just by ourselves and pretend they were going to visit next week’ . I love that man so much

I know how you must have been feeling. When meticulously worked plans get trashed my head implodes and god help anyone in my path

 

[diavolo2025]

Looks like we share more than just a musical taste...

 

[PMarky3]

[vent]
It frustrates me when folks book a phone call, and then do not pick up... they'd better have a really good excuse when we finally do connect.

My next door neighbour is off his meds/head again, and his shouting his head off intermittently. The missus is in one of her picky-critical moods, and I have a shit ton of stuff to do, and all of this is wasting my time, and my AuDHD is not playing nicely either. My get up and go got up and left!
[/vent]

 

[stickygirl]

I saw confirmation that there's going to be a 3rd , longer tv series called Patience - a police records staffer who's autistic and she helps solve tricky crimes. I believe the first series is available in the US now.

 

[diavolo2025]

Is this an adaptation of a French series with a similar premise?

 

[Underscore_2]

I saw confirmation that there's going to be a 3rd , longer tv series called Patience - a police records staffer who's autistic and she helps solve tricky crimes. I believe the first series is available in the US now.

I also collate seemingly irrelevant snippets of information and solve things that didn't even appear to need solving. I'm sure I would have enjoyed those series, but I don't own a TV. That's the price I'm resigned to paying because I refuse to pay a TV licence fee (stealth tax on the poor).

 

[PMarky3]

I also collate seemingly irrelevant snippets of information and solve things that didn't even appear to need solving. I'm sure I would have enjoyed those series, but I don't own a TV. That's the price I'm resigned to paying because I refuse to pay a TV licence fee (stealth tax on the poor).

I can sympathize. I live in Virginia where they just love those stealth taxes and nuisance taxes!*

* The expression 'nuisance tax' comes from a humorous t-shirt logo of the 1980s which began with the line "The government has successfully taxed everything except your dong. However, in the new budget..." Apparently, those with a whopper were to be charged a 'Pole Tax' and so on down the scale until those possessed of a small reproductional appendage were to be charge a 'nuisance tax' which passed into the family lexicon for a small, annoying tax. My whole family is a bit weird.

 

[Noor]

I saw confirmation that there's going to be a 3rd , longer tv series called Patience - a police records staffer who's autistic and she helps solve tricky crimes. I believe the first series is available in the US now.

It’s on pbs passport in the us

 

[stickygirl]

Is this an adaptation of a French series with a similar premise?

They've made no secret of pinching the idea from the French series, Astrid and Raphaelle. The main difference - and a big one - is that the UK version is played by an autistic woman, while the French one isn't.

Having seen both, I can see why the Astrid is popular, because the crime plots have more drama, have some more steamy affairs, but I found their central actor off-putting. I felt she was performing a pastiche of autism and could almost hear her autism coaches pushing her to add more vocal and physical ticks in her portrayal.

By contrast, Patience has a lighter touch. She still has the occasional shutdown and red lines that people keep trampling over, but her reactions felt human, not the mechanical ones shown by Astrid. One might almost expect to see a large key in the back of Astrid where they wind her up each day.

But as I say, Astrid is popular, sub-titled but I've seen commenters shouting in outrage that the UK version is a rip-off and 'How dare they?' and 'I prefer ground coffee, not Nescafe, so there!' You get the picture. I finish the Patience episodes feeling happy, not tense.


ETA
One other point that I feel is relevant, is that employment rates for autistic people in France lag far behind those in the UK - about half the rate. So there's no surprise that they cast a NT woman to play the role of an autistic one. Plus ca change!