Bi married women!!

[bequ23]

Hi everyone!

My name is Marissa. I am a bi married woman. And my husband knows. It has been six months since I was with a woman, who happened to be my first lover and my first girlfriend and now my ex of 10+ years. He was extremely threatened by it because I considered leaving him, my pull to this woman and well, women in general was insane. I know now that that was because before this I had not been with a woman in 8 years. And I truly missed it and craved it.

My hubby and I are, of course, still together; it was a knee jerk reaction on my part to leave. I just hate to see him hurt. But, I admit that I am really envious of you all that have live-in girlfriends, partners, and lovers. I need women in my life. I hope I get as lucky as all of you who have your someone special with you!

Welcome Marrisa. I can understand the reaction of wanting to leave your husband. For me, two of the four women I have been with are women I could have see myself with long term. One did not feel the same way (she was my first) and my current girlfriend has a boyfriend. My husband also knows about my love for women. He is bi too, and his only jealousy right now is that he isn't finding a man to be with.

 

[yoyome100]

Welcome Marrisa. I can understand the reaction of wanting to leave your husband. For me, two of the four women I have been with are women I could have see myself with long term. One did not feel the same way (she was my first) and my current girlfriend has a boyfriend. My husband also knows about my love for women. He is bi too, and his only jealousy right now is that he isn't finding a man to be with.

Lady C and Bequ23 congrats on finding bi spouses.

 

[CorsetLvr]

I went through a somewhat similar situation after I met my hubby. A quick history. I am definitely bi, but most of my serious relationships were with women. Men in my life were mostly in the "fuck buddy" category and I had pretty much given up on the concept of "Mr. Right" by the time I met my hubby. The men in my life were more like "Mr. Right Now" or "Hubby for the night."

After I met hubby and we began our relationship, I began to notice what I can only call a "yearning" in myself. By this time, he had introduced me to swinging and I had no shortage of female playmates, but at the same time I missed the closest of a female "someone special" in my life. Hubby and I had a long discuission over a long period of time about this and he was very understanding. I suppose one of the main reasons why I fell in love with him was the fact that he was so supportive and comfortable with my sexuality. That was not the case with many of the men in my life previous to him. Most seemed to be either threatened by me being bi, or only interested in using it as a means to satisfy their own fantasies, with little regards to my own wants and needs. I simply lacked the necessary chemistry with the few men I met like my hubby in my past.

OK, back to the present. Basically, my hubby and I decided on a course of action that included bringing a woman into out relationship. We read up on poly relationships and discussed it with some people we knew through swinging that were in poly relationships. I won't go into the details of how we made it happen in this post, but the key point is that we did. I used the same kind of "plan the work and work the plan" tools I use in my professional life and we made it happen.

My wife/lover Tracey is now an important part of our family and she is pregnant with "our" first child and expecting in about 3 months, maybe a Halloween baby. OK, enough for now. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

 

[Miss_Pandora]

I went through a somewhat similar situation after I met my hubby. A quick history. I am definitely bi, but most of my serious relationships were with women. Men in my life were mostly in the "fuck buddy" category and I had pretty much given up on the concept of "Mr. Right" by the time I met my hubby. The men in my life were more like "Mr. Right Now" or "Hubby for the night."

After I met hubby and we began our relationship, I began to notice what I can only call a "yearning" in myself. By this time, he had introduced me to swinging and I had no shortage of female playmates, but at the same time I missed the closest of a female "someone special" in my life. Hubby and I had a long discuission over a long period of time about this and he was very understanding. I suppose one of the main reasons why I fell in love with him was the fact that he was so supportive and comfortable with my sexuality. That was not the case with many of the men in my life previous to him. Most seemed to be either threatened by me being bi, or only interested in using it as a means to satisfy their own fantasies, with little regards to my own wants and needs. I simply lacked the necessary chemistry with the few men I met like my hubby in my past.

OK, back to the present. Basically, my hubby and I decided on a course of action that included bringing a woman into out relationship. We read up on poly relationships and discussed it with some people we knew through swinging that were in poly relationships. I won't go into the details of how we made it happen in this post, but the key point is that we did. I used the same kind of "plan the work and work the plan" tools I use in my professional life and we made it happen.

My wife/lover Tracey is now an important part of our family and she is pregnant with "our" first child and expecting in about 3 months, maybe a Halloween baby. OK, enough for now. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Congratulations

 

[ShyLana]

Np clue...

I haven't been intimate with my husband in years. Thankfully, a couple of serious lovers have been male playmates. Thanks to the Internet and Craigslist (as much as it creeps me out...), I am able to play with other women when that itch needs scratching. He would freak out.

 

[cadman7777]

I haven't been intimate with my husband in years. Thankfully, a couple of serious lovers have been male playmates. Thanks to the Internet and Craigslist (as much as it creeps me out...), I am able to play with other women when that itch needs scratching. He would freak out.

Reading some of your posts......your hubby is missing out...big time

 

[theedebster]

Kindred spirit.

My husband doesn't know. Enjoying phone with other gals and on occasion with other women in person. Once I met an attractive, hot married woman, but it turned out she lived in my neighborhood and taught my son. Too close for comfort. But enjoy pleasuring myself with these stories and re-living past experiences in my mind. An old boyfriend I talk to sometimes knows so we have hot chats.

Your thoughts and experiences seem to mirror many of my own. My husband doesn't have any idea as to the depth and level of my need for other women. He just thinks I could be kinky enough to try it one day.

 

[LadyC]

I am far more fortunate then most women posting on this thread because my husband and I were swingers before we met, actually meeting at a party. The first time I saw Billy he was being ridden by the hostess, and as soon as she dismounted, I joined him. I got him had again, and as I rode him like a cowgirl, I asked him to marry me. Two weeks later, we were married, and fifteen years later we are still together'

A year and a half ago, I met my true love, my lover for eternity, Teri. She moved in with us last year and life had never been better. I am extremely fortunate.

 

[Riley_James]

So, I'm not asking for sympathy, but would like a chance to tell my story I guess. I was married to who I thought was a loving, compassionate man for almost 19 years. Two and a half months ago he picked up and moved across the country, leaving me and my two teenaged daughters by ourselves, without any support. I told him before we were married that I was bi and back then he was thrilled. We shared a gf for over a year and although the sex was great, the emotional rollercoaster was more than we could handle. Two years ago we started swinging and it turned out that he couldn't do the group sex thing, couldn't even stay hard in a room of four. I then tried to bring a sub girl home for him to share with me and he decided that he wanted to sub for me. All of these things we talked about together before we ever embarqued on any new adventure...but now he's saying that "MY LIFESTYLE" hurt him beyond repair. I feel so betrayed because it's not like he couldn't have told me that he was jealous or uncomfortable, I would have most definitely stopped swinging if he had said something to me about his feelings. He just keeps saying as an excuse that he wanted me to be happy.

I'm a very sexual person and I feel like I need some way to express myself in that medium, but I'm not sure what is going to happen with our marriage so I find myself treading water waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Anyway, my love and support to all of you who are lucky enough to have understanding hubands!

Riley

 

[LadyC]

I didn't go "shopping" for a swinging man to marry. In fact, I'm not sure I even considered marriage an option for me when I met my husband, but the most importantly, we were both swingers and met at a party. We were having sex when I first spoke to him, asking him to marry me. That was fifteen years ago. Had Billy not been bisexual and a swinger, I doubt if our marriage would have worked.

 

[CorsetLvr]

Congratulations

Thank you Miss Pandora.

 

[LadyC]

I went through a somewhat similar situation after I met my hubby. A quick history. I am definitely bi, but most of my serious relationships were with women. Men in my life were mostly in the "fuck buddy" category and I had pretty much given up on the concept of "Mr. Right" by the time I met my hubby. The men in my life were more like "Mr. Right Now" or "Hubby for the night."

After I met hubby and we began our relationship, I began to notice what I can only call a "yearning" in myself. By this time, he had introduced me to swinging and I had no shortage of female playmates, but at the same time I missed the closest of a female "someone special" in my life. Hubby and I had a long discuission over a long period of time about this and he was very understanding. I suppose one of the main reasons why I fell in love with him was the fact that he was so supportive and comfortable with my sexuality. That was not the case with many of the men in my life previous to him. Most seemed to be either threatened by me being bi, or only interested in using it as a means to satisfy their own fantasies, with little regards to my own wants and needs. I simply lacked the necessary chemistry with the few men I met like my hubby in my past.

OK, back to the present. Basically, my hubby and I decided on a course of action that included bringing a woman into out relationship. We read up on poly relationships and discussed it with some people we knew through swinging that were in poly relationships. I won't go into the details of how we made it happen in this post, but the key point is that we did. I used the same kind of "plan the work and work the plan" tools I use in my professional life and we made it happen.

My wife/lover Tracey is now an important part of our family and she is pregnant with "our" first child and expecting in about 3 months, maybe a Halloween baby. OK, enough for now. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

I have a somewhat similar situation as yours. My lover Teri, the love of my life, has lived with my husband and I for a year now, but there is no intention of either of us becoming pregnant. As I read your post, I have a single question: Did you husband provide the sperm for your child? If this question is out of order, don't hesitate to give me hell for asking....Claire

 

[CorsetLvr]

I have a somewhat similar situation as yours. My lover Teri, the love of my life, has lived with my husband and I for a year now, but there is no intention of either of us becoming pregnant. As I read your post, I have a single question: Did you husband provide the sperm for your child? If this question is out of order, don't hesitate to give me hell for asking....Claire

Claire,

Not out of line at all. I certainly hope it's his. I seem to recall having been there at the time the "seed was planted." Of course I was just there as a coach and I helped out by holding her legs up to make sure all the little wigglies stay where they would do the most good. I don't recall the mailman or milkman beiong there that night. Of course that particular night was one of many similar ones. We all had a good time "practicing" until we finally got it right. Personally, I got as "almost" as much of a thrill from it as they did. We definitely shar a feeling that this is "our" baby., even if I myself did not play a large part in it's conception. I hope that answers your question.

I'm not sure what the dynamic is in your relationship between you, Terri, and your hubby, but we think of ourselves as a family. Admittedly a less than traditional one. Tracey is just as much my partner, as she is our hubby's. We are somewhat egalitarian in that. She is not just my lover. We are a true poly triad and we consider ourselves married to each other, if not on paper, as far as Tracey is concerned. Sometimes paper is much overrated in our opinion. We would rather focus on the feelings of love, admiration and respect that we share for each other.

 

[Dancer_Frog]

I know how you feel

I see very interesting stories here. cool i enjoyed them. i think if you do sex with a woman your husband won't feel jealous because your partner is woman. she can't give him pleasure that your husband gives you.

Exactly! MY husband is okay with me fooling around with a woman (as long as he watches). Then he feels like he isnt left out, and he wont get jealous. I just wish that I could let him fuck her. I dont even want him touching her. I ge too jealous easily. Maybe is I was drunk or something, who knows.

 

[banes27]

I've known since I met my fiancee she was bi, but until a few months ago I thought I was straight. Turns out that thought was wrong lol. So now it's bi woman marrying bi man so my guess is that that's a yay moment Saying that actually, neither of us are ok sleeping with someone else, as in sleeping with someone else without the other one being there Generally we're both pretty much fine (and excited) by the idea of a 3some, since we're both there, but if we're not both there, the thought just upsets us both.

 

[hottalyssa]

Exactly! MY husband is okay with me fooling around with a woman (as long as he watches). Then he feels like he isnt left out, and he wont get jealous. I just wish that I could let him fuck her. I dont even want him touching her. I ge too jealous easily. Maybe is I was drunk or something, who knows.

hi dancer. sounds as if your situation is the opposite of what mine WAS. he couldnt stand the thoughts of me with another woman. if you love your hubby hun. just let it go. if you truly question is love for you, you guys need to have along talk. but my problem is solved now, he left years ago..hehe. perhaps we could chat sometime if that might help.kisses,alyssa

 

[CorsetLvr]

hi dancer. sounds as if your situation is the opposite of what mine WAS. he couldnt stand the thoughts of me with another woman. if you love your hubby hun. just let it go. if you truly question is love for you, you guys need to have along talk. but my problem is solved now, he left years ago..hehe. perhaps we could chat sometime if that might help.kisses,alyssa

Let me address the jealousy issue here, if I may. Living in a poly relationship, and having been a swinger for several years, I feel as if I am qualified to address this issue.

One thing that I have learned is that jealousy is NEVER about your partner. Unfortunately, most people lack the courage to really look inside themselves and truly examine the cause of jealousy. Jealousy, in my opinion, has much more to do with your own feeling of inadeacacy and self-doubt in yourself and your relationship. Sharing your relationship with another lover brings all these feeling to the surface and can create a very uncomfortable situation. The way that most people deal with that uncomfort is avoidance. Whether you decide to go on or not, is inconsequential, the issue is still there. Those feelings will always be a part of you until you have the courage to deal with them.

We have a saying in the swinging lifestyle that applies to this discussion, "swinging can make a good relationship better, but will always make a bad relationship worse." The lesson here being that the stresses of a non-monogamous relationship can exagerate or magnify the issues that already exist in a troubled relationship. At the same time, the positive aspects of adding others to your sex life can add excitement and intimacy to an otherwise fulfilling realtionship. Obviously this is not for everyone. Realistically though, I think there are a lot of people (male and female) out there that would be attracted to such a lifestyle if not for an incompatible partner, or the kind of relationship issues I mentioned earlier. A large part of all of this is unlearning the kind of social conditioning that says that anything other than the prescibed monogaous relationship is "wrong." This is what I call the conflict between sexuality and social conditioning. Most people have a hard time accepting their sexuality and desire is often overridden by the afore mentioned conditioning. In some ways, we are taught that being jealous is acceptable and expected. I obviously have a problem with that concept.

OK, back off my soap box.

 

[HDSpicy]

bisexual and married

Thank you for starting this great thread.
I feel very lucky to have an loving husband who both knows about my bisexual desires and encourages my exploration of them as well. We are newly weds and both discovered our bisexual desires through our open communication while dating.
Best of luck to each of you.

 

[hottalyssa]

Thank you for starting this great thread.
I feel very lucky to have an loving husband who both knows about my bisexual desires and encourages my exploration of them as well. We are newly weds and both discovered our bisexual desires through our open communication while dating.
Best of luck to each of you.

congrats on your marriage as well as your open communication.as i speak from my own experience, if the lines were open, there would be a lot more happy couples around now.good luck and hopefully we can chat soon.

 

[vrosej10]

i am a married bi woman. I didn't come out till my 19th year of marriage although I hinted that I was not as straight as my husband all along. I have no intention of being with anyone other than my husband (I think you really only get one person at a time, regardless of your preferences) but I wish I'd been out when I was single. My husband took it well and has gotten used to me admiring women as well as men and my porn collection. I am very lucky though. I don't think it would end so well for everyone.

 

[hottalyssa]

i am a married bi woman. I didn't come out till my 19th year of marriage although I hinted that I was not as straight as my husband all along. I have no intention of being with anyone other than my husband (I think you really only get one person at a time, regardless of your preferences) but I wish I'd been out when I was single. My husband took it well and has gotten used to me admiring women as well as men and my porn collection. I am very lucky though. I don't think it would end so well for everyone.

congrats hun. i am glad everything worked out for you. me, not so well. but i am very happy now too.

 

[vrosej10]

congrats hun. i am glad everything worked out for you. me, not so well. but i am very happy now too.

*hugs* I am sorry to hear that. It's hard trying to be yourself.

 

[hottalyssa]

*hugs* I am sorry to hear that. It's hard trying to be yourself.

so very true. but as for me it all worked out.and i am very happy now also.and thanks for the huggs. its always nice.

 

[lacygirl09]

I'm not sure whether I'm considered bi or bi curious?? I had two experiences in college that didn't go very far and both involved alcohol. I do get turned on seeing the women as well as the men in adult movies, but i don't go thru life seeing an attractive woman somewhere and think, "mmm i'd like to play with her".

so what does that make me?

 

[HDSpicy]

Thought I would share

I had to laugh at myself the other day.
I was walking through our down town area and there was a very attractive young woman walking in front of me. I couldn't help but notice the sexy sway she had in her walk
I had to smile to myself as I realized how my perception of things around me have changed. It is amazing to me to think about noticing little sexy moments from both men and woman around me.