Blowjobs: A scarce commodity?

[ownedsubgal]

hmmm. not sure if blowjobs are exactly "scarce" in the vanilla world, but it's true that many vanilla women don't care to do it and will do it only out of some sense of obligation, or as a form of manipulation (put him in a good mood so he'll give them what they want). i did know one woman who revealed to me that she only gave her hubby oral twice a year, on christmas and on his birthday. the christmas part i don't get, lol. but i also know of many vanilla women, of all ages, who give oral regularly and don't really see the big deal in it, though it may not be their favorite thing in the world.

however i do think that truly exceptional, noteworthy blowjobs are scarce in the vanilla world. contrary to the belief of some, there is such a thing as a bad bj, and vanilla chicks seem to give a lot of them. in my experiences as a whore, it's the lack of skill and passion of their wives/girlfriends that they complain about most.

but DB, you do have me ultracurious now about just what exactly you're doing down there...i've never heard a positive comment about a covered BJ, though i know many escorts won't do it any other way and their clients accept it because maybe she has other things to offer and receiving head may not be their favorite thing in the world anyway. so um yeah....you have to set up a cam or something lol.

 

[dakotagirl]

It is sad that many people dont enjoy giving BJ's. I do enjoy giving them IF it is my idea. If you ask, hint, or try to nudge me there...it is a HELL NO!!!

 

[DeservingBitch]

but DB, you do have me ultracurious now about just what exactly you're doing down there...i've never heard a positive comment about a covered BJ, though i know many escorts won't do it any other way and their clients accept it because maybe she has other things to offer and receiving head may not be their favorite thing in the world anyway. so um yeah....you have to set up a cam or something lol.

I'd love to tell you, but I have no idea myself! I do think that my technique improved since the first blowjob I gave, but frankly, I'm just doing it the way I thought everyone's doing it. Now mind you, my reference for 'everyone' is mostly porn, so my perspective may be a bit biased!

As Shank mentioned earlier, I think enthusiam plays a big role. In the escort world, being able to DT is apparently a rare skill as well, one which I master thanks to a former girlfriend who had a thing for face-fucking. The cover thing... well, I use the ultra-thin ultra-sensitive condoms, and while some guys do complain about the cover blowjob, most seem to still enjoy it quite a bit. But I've always believe that guys over-exagerate the lost of sensation from a condom anyways. Oh - and one of my nice tricks: I always put the condom on with my mouth. It took me some practice on a dildo before being able to do it properly and safely, but once you master the technique, it's a cool trick to use. Makes for a less mechanical covering-up, and I think that the warm feeling of the mouth is nicer for the dude than just onrolling it with your hand.

It's actually kind of funny: I'm just coming from reading an escort review board where I was nominated as one of the best BJ (in the CBJ sub-category!) provider in town. Thankfully, I'm not expected to give a speech.

 

[DeservingBitch]

It is sad that many people dont enjoy giving BJ's. I do enjoy giving them IF it is my idea. If you ask, hint, or try to nudge me there...it is a HELL NO!!!

If you don't mind me asking: why???

Are you talking in a context of a F/m dynamic?

 

[dakotagirl]

i have never liked being told what to do. If I feelsomething is expected I refuse. It is weird because I do really enjoy giving them but it just has to be on my terms. Then again everything has to be on my terms

oh, and yes my hubby and I are in a F/m dynamic.

 

[Dreamliner]

From my perspective I would not say that "most" vanilla woman do not like giving blow jobs. Often it is just a matter of tapping into and being aware of the signals and psyche of the person you are with. I have found, and this would be with the vanilla woman I have been with, that they do enjoy giving bj's, but I make sure ther whole environment is right. No point pushing hard for something if it is not a happening thing and then eventually only "done" because of your intransigence. You are never going to get quality then, just a "lets get this over with".

What's a good bj? I suspect everyone is different. Also, from reading a few posts from DB, I assume you change the "technique" to suit the client. Not too sure, unless I drop into your city and make arrangements to test! lol. (How much is it?)

For me; if you try and strangle my cock or bite it off, I will let you know. But slow build up, with lots of licking and.....this is very improtant for me; talk, I love to talk and hear a woman talk as we have sex. very erotic I find and very stimulating. I have only had two women deep throat me. DP is not a skill all women have and I can understand that, I do not expect it. So a woman does not neccesarily need to DP. Personally for me it is the slow gentle "massaging" of my cock and balls that is the most stimulating.

I hope the younger generations coming through do no loose the desire to have good quality sex. The right protection, USE CONDOMS!, safe sex, and you mitigate most of the risk.

Explore your boundaries......it is so much fun.

 

[Netzach]

I'd love to tell you, but I have no idea myself! I do think that my technique improved since the first blowjob I gave, but frankly, I'm just doing it the way I thought everyone's doing it. Now mind you, my reference for 'everyone' is mostly porn, so my perspective may be a bit biased!

As Shank mentioned earlier, I think enthusiam plays a big role. In the escort world, being able to DT is apparently a rare skill as well, one which I master thanks to a former girlfriend who had a thing for face-fucking. The cover thing... well, I use the ultra-thin ultra-sensitive condoms, and while some guys do complain about the cover blowjob, most seem to still enjoy it quite a bit. But I've always believe that guys over-exagerate the lost of sensation from a condom anyways. Oh - and one of my nice tricks: I always put the condom on with my mouth. It took me some practice on a dildo before being able to do it properly and safely, but once you master the technique, it's a cool trick to use. Makes for a less mechanical covering-up, and I think that the warm feeling of the mouth is nicer for the dude than just onrolling it with your hand.

It's actually kind of funny: I'm just coming from reading an escort review board where I was nominated as one of the best BJ (in the CBJ sub-category!) provider in town. Thankfully, I'm not expected to give a speech.

Without regard to sex work - I've never bought the loss of sensation line whatsoever. Put on a latex glove and suck your fingers. Hello?

 

[Dreamliner]

Without regard to sex work - I've never bought the loss of sensation line whatsoever. Put on a latex glove and suck your fingers. Hello?

I agree. It is just plain bs.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Without regard to sex work - I've never bought the loss of sensation line whatsoever. Put on a latex glove and suck your fingers. Hello?

My own reference has always been my pussy. If the inside of my vagina can still feels a covered cock alright, than said cock should also feel something, no?

And if the loss of sensation is so real, just re-train your damn cock. Start jerking off with a condom. Use some lube when jerking off. Loose the grip a little. You'll see, Jr. will learn.

 

[Shankara20]

And if the loss of sensation is so real, just re-train your damn cock. Start jerking off with a condom. Use some lube when jerking off. Loose the grip a little. You'll see, Jr. will learn.

Spoken like someone without a Jr. of her own

I agree, Jr. can be retrained - but it takes dedication and relentless effort - and some motivation making it worth while.

So much goes into properly training a Jr. - the feel Jr. feels, the feel the hand feels, the speed, the pressure of the grip, the stroke length, the speed, the arch of the back, the bend of the knees - a great jack-off requires so much more then a good jack-off and tons of stuff more then a ho-hum jack-off. I am left handed, when I try to use my right hand for a wank it just ain't the same.

I have no problem enjoying any sort of sex with a condom, it is just not the same.



Part of my problem with enjoying receiving a bj from a female is a deeply held resistance to ejaculating in her mouth. My female lovers in the past have not liked it, and I have built up a mental block that truly gets in my way of letting go. I do not have the same block with a male lover, "fill him up" is what I say.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Spoken like someone without a Jr. of her own

Eh! I'm a pro! I've helped (rather encouraged) retraining a few cocks in the past.

I agree, Jr. can be retrained - but it takes dedication and relentless effort - and some motivation making it worth while.

You'd think that staying healthy would be motivation enough, no?

I have no problem enjoying any sort of sex with a condom, it is just not the same.

I can get behind that. Different? Sure. But that it completely ruins the experience and that you lose all or most sensations? Give me a break.

 

[Shankara20]

Eh! I'm a pro! I've helped (rather encouraged) retraining a few cocks in the past.

lucky cock they are, no doubt

You'd think that staying healthy would be motivation enough, no?

I do think so, yes - but, alas, no so for everyone

I can get behind that. Different? Sure. But that it completely ruins the experience and that you lose all or most sensations? Give me a break.

we agree - "it ruins it for me" is just BS...

 

[tealsphynx]

I have trouble giving bj's since having my kids...it's mostly unrelated, but 9 months of nausea ruined my ability to control my gag reflex. I also have a mental issue that has surfaced, my ex from HS used to expect me to either fuck him or suck him off every night before we said goodnight, since we were often stuck in my car it was easier, faster and cleaner to just suck him. Any time we got in a fight, that's what I had to do to get him to stop being an ass...it got to where I stopped enjoying giving them. I enjoy my husband, I love the feel of the head of his dick in my mouth, but sometimes I get flashback feelings about those bad times. When it comes to spit or swallow I figure if it's already in your mouth it may as well finish the journey. A lot of my non-kinky friends don't like to even talk about head, they find it gross because penis shouldn't go in the mouth...wonder if they expect reciprocation.

 

[Netzach]

Spoken like someone without a Jr. of her own

I agree, Jr. can be retrained - but it takes dedication and relentless effort - and some motivation making it worth while.

So much goes into properly training a Jr. - the feel Jr. feels, the feel the hand feels, the speed, the pressure of the grip, the stroke length, the speed, the arch of the back, the bend of the knees - a great jack-off requires so much more then a good jack-off and tons of stuff more then a ho-hum jack-off. I am left handed, when I try to use my right hand for a wank it just ain't the same.

I have no problem enjoying any sort of sex with a condom, it is just not the same.



Part of my problem with enjoying receiving a bj from a female is a deeply held resistance to ejaculating in her mouth. My female lovers in the past have not liked it, and I have built up a mental block that truly gets in my way of letting go. I do not have the same block with a male lover, "fill him up" is what I say.

Indeed sucking my fingers with a glove on isn't identical. Still pretty good. In some ways preferable, but don't ask a rubber fetishist that question.

 

[Ardeche]

My Two Pence

Well within my circle of girlfriends (and some are pretty conservative), we ALL give BJs. It stems from that "We are saving our cherries" attitude we had as teenagers, so instead we'd give a BJ. Now I don't necessarily know if they like it a lot, but they will definitely do it. And in case age is of any concern, we are all over 20, but under 25.

I personally really, really, really, really, (did I say really?) enjoy giving a BJ. I knew I wasn't half bad at it when on several occasions in the earlier stage of my current relationship, I was able to get my partner off with a condom (smart girls practice safe sex!). He was stunned. Swore up and down how he didn't know he could even orgasm from a BJ, let alone a BJ with a condom. From a man who's significantly older than I am and had his share of women, I take this a compliment

I particularly like the delicate balance of power than can shift in the space of a second. One minute I have you at my very whim, the next minute your FFing me like you own me. I love the taste, the sounds (hate it when a man's quiet during a BJ. I need validation!), the smell, the feel, everything. Hurray for BJs!!!

 

[rida]

... one of my nice tricks: I always put the condom on with my mouth. It took me some practice on a dildo before being able to do it properly and safely, but once you master the technique, it's a cool trick to use. Makes for a less mechanical covering-up, and I think that the warm feeling of the mouth is nicer for the dude than just onrolling it with your hand.
...

I confess I've borrowed this idea and used it a couple of times.
I still have to use my hands as well, but it surely makes for a sexier way to go about safety ... and the guy really loved it as he had never had anyone do it that way.