Carolina Directory

[Roughneck]

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom your're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh, well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"

His mom says, "Why?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up.

 

[Roughneck]

Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crimefighting and wanted to go out and party, so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls.

Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see if she was free.

As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs open.

Superman thought to himself : I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in there, have sex and be out again before she knew wat was happening.

So Superman did his superthing in a split second and flew off happily. Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said:" Did you hear something?"

"No !" said the Invisible Man,... " but my ass hurts like hell !"

 

[Roughneck]

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt". Soon you will be able to handle this situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie, the twins Deep and Dip, Fulla, Giva, and Bull Schitt. Against his parents strong objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. They produced two children, Heza and Sheza. After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe Schitt married Mr. Scherlock and because her kids were living with them, decided to keep her previous name also. She became known as Noe Schitt Scherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son - Chick Noe Schitt (Chick N. Schitt for short). Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood, and consequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse Schitt. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt, pregnant with two more twins: Ima and Ura.

Now when someone says that you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them and ask if they are related to any of the above

 

[Roughneck]

Easter Eggs

Enjoy

 

[geri]

Geri... I'm not sure I'm going to stay with this. I put it up to see how I like looking at it. I'm still not sure. I think its beautiful too. In the meantime, I'm still looking to see if I like anything else better.

i like it but you have to be happy with it. i am curious as to which one you will eventually pick. meanwhile we get to see many nice ones i am sure.

 

[PaganZepher]

Hello all!

Hi friends and welcome to the new folks! I only have a few minutes and want to throw my .02 cents in on the AV discussion.


Des....... I like the one you are using right now (7:45 PM)! But I've liked every one you have used on here too.

Geri........A great choice was made on yours too.

Have a great evening all!

 

[Desdemona]

Thanks PZ. I think I'll live with this one for a while.

 

[geri]

thank you PZ. Magister has good taste.

 

[NCguy]

GG

I realize GG is from Georgia, but I am glad she posts on the Carolina site.

 

[Magister]

Ah, now I have two lovely ladies to discipline here... now that My own geri has joined the merry mischeif makers!

dawn, I've been up to my ass in alligators today, but I haven't forgotten you.

Roughneck, have you NO sympathy for my poor ribs? I love laughter as much as the next guy, but you're making me laugh too damn hard! ROFLMAO!!

Nite, everyone! Many, many hugs all 'round, and an extraspecial goodnight to My geri. Sweetest of dreams, sweetest of slaves.

 

[geri]

good night beloved, Master. sweet dreams to You too.

be sure to take a look in Your email tomorrow. *grins* i will see You in the morning.

 

[PaganZepher]

Hello, anyone up?

Hello to any still awake. Tomorrow is a holiday for me so I'm still wandering the threads. I must say Magister's geri, you are a lovely addition to the regulars. Magister I know you are proud!

Des..... Your newest AV is great! I know your D/ is proud! I know I sit in stunned awe!

NCGuy you are right! GeorgiaGirl (Dawn) is as welcome as the beautiful girl next door can be! In fact she can bring that sweetheart friend from Florida with her anytime she visits! I do think she has a tendency to stir Des up though. Those three would be quite a handful!

Roughneck let me add my appreciation for your jokes. I have copied them to pass out at work Tuesday.

Well..... A good evening to all and a happy day off tomorrow for those that have it!

 

[Desdemona]

Good morning everybody

I hope those of you that have the day off enjoy yourselves. I'll be heading off to work just like any other day.

edited for grammar

 

[geri]

*smiles*

thank you for those kind words, PZ. a wonderful greeting this morning to be sure.

Des, have a good day at work. i don't work until this afternoon. that is if i dont call in sick. i do believe i have come down with this flu thats been going around my work.

 

[Roughneck]

Todays morning Joke

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the at the next stop.

When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. "If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are God and you could command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides this is a great idea, so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun shows up and begins praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD! I have heard your prayers and I will answer them, BUT ... first you must have sex with me." The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.

After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts,"Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the hippie!!"

Then the nun jumps up and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the bus driver!!"

 

[Magister]

Good morning!

At least as good a morning as possible when I am wracked with envy of all the people in the Triangle who have today off, when not only did I have to go in to class, but I had to do a test, too? Bleah. Still and all, it went well, and life goes on.

*kisses geri good morning, smacks her on the ass to wake her up, and kisses her again*

PZ, I am very proud of my little one... she is a very good girl (except when she wants to be bad... then she's better!)

des, your avs are very lovely, appropriately so

Roughneck, my ribs still aren't talking to you.. heh.

*looks around for dawn* Oh, dawnie? Where are you, hon? I've got a nice new crop here, and I want to test it on both you and geri!

 

[geri]

*rubbing my ass*

Master! me? bad? surely You have me confused with another. *evil grin*

a very good morning to You, Master and congrats on doing well on Your test. as for the crop...hummmmm when do W/we start?

 

[Georgia Girl]

Re: GG

I realize GG is from Georgia, but I am glad she posts on the Carolina site.

Thanks darling and I must say that last night was wonderful. Hopefully we can do that again real soon.

Magister......today I feel the need for something a bit more substantial than a crop, that just seems toooooo wimpy for my taste today. I've been out and about creating mischief but I must admit, I had one heck of a good time doing it.

Good morning (almost afternoon) everyone and ya'll have a good day.

Dawn

 

[geri]

no crop today? hummm maybe we can come up with something else.

*reaches into Master's bag of play toys throwing out paddles, whips, chains, ropes, candles and matches, various dildos and vibrators, ball gags, extra leashes, paddles, a cat of nine tails, flails and other interesting objects...*

there has to be something in here that will get Dawn going this morning/afternoon.

 

[Magister]

blinks...

Oh, dawnie... you are going to be SOOO sorry you went there. *weg*


*Grabs dawn and geri by the hair, a fistful in each hand, dragging them over to a couple of devices just delivered*

*geri is strapped, face down, over a device rather like a gymnast's horse, but with wrist and ankle restraints*

*dawn is strapped into a more vertical frame, with a swivel, so her entire body can be rotated along its vertical axis, exposing front or back, at My whim*

Now... what shall I do with these bound lovely ladies? First, to soften them up a bit.

*A large butt plug is slid into geri's ass, preparing it for later amusement, and geri's favorite nipple clamps are attached, with a half pound weight suspended from the connecting chain*

*The same style of harsh nippleclamps, connected by a chain, are attached to dawn's helpless tits, and then the chain is connected to another, somewhat gentler, clamp on her clit. Every breath causes the chain to tug in the most enchanting way*

 

[geri]

now how did i get caught up in this challenge business? *sighs* Dawn, one does not give Magister such a challenge. you see He kind of gets this glint in His eyes and then you know you are in trouble.

not that i mind being in this position...*grins* but i want it to go on record as extra curricular instead of a punishment...if not i will feel that i have to do something to earn it!

 

[Roughneck]

Magister......today I feel the need for something a bit more substantial than a crop, that just seems toooooo wimpy for my taste today

I must say Magister, looks like Dawn wants a little more kink in the spanking, might I suggest trying a weed wacker. Not only is that kinky, but it could make her ass a chery red in just a few seconds, LOL

 

[Magister]

A weed whacker? Now THAT is an efficient mind at work! Thanks, Roughneck!

 

[Georgia Girl]

I must say Magister, looks like Dawn wants a little more kink in the spanking, might I suggest trying a weed wacker. Not only is that kinky, but it could make her ass a chery red in just a few seconds, LOL

Amusingly enough considering your jokes lately, in Albany, GA there was a man who killed his neighbor with a weed whacker.

I may have been bad but I wasn't that bad. Can we leave a bit of hide attached please?

Dawn

 

[geri]

uh huh....Master getting a thrill out of a few seconds of reddening an ass. now there is an impossible thought. *sighs and shakes head* i think i know my Master well enough to know that He would not enjoy reddening an ass so fast that there would be no writhing, screaming and tears. He takes time and pride in His work. *grins*