Chanel 285 Lit News

[DarkTalon]

Dan Talon Here this just relesed From the Office of Joe Boss AkA "Da Man". "Da man" Had No Idea what The Black Cat was Up to A Denies any tie To The Black Cat and His actions Toword The Fuz^3 And says He sould have used the merkery tiped bulits Like "Da Man" Suggested

 

[cats]

Broken news

Hello this is the black Cat with broken news. The assaination was foiled by out standing drug use that caused paranoya and told Fuz^3 to where a bullet proof vest. Good bye. *escapes unoticed*

 

[Vixandra]

Nicholla

"YOU GOT BLOOD ON MY BOOTS!!!" she screams in fury. "You're DEAD, Black Cat!!!"

 

[PsychedelicFuzz]

Good evening Pawns of the Oppressor. This is your resident political correspondent Fuzzz. In light of recent events, the majority of my pieces will now be done from remote locations via satelite.
In the news, the MAN keeps trying to intimidate that fifth dentist into recommending the sugar free gum. You see folks, it's all a vast conspiracy. The MAN wants you to be dependent on him for dental care, so he keeps trying to impose his will on the honest dentists out there. More on this later. This has been Fuzzz, from a super secret, well hidden bunker I like to call the luuuv shack, saying Don't drink the grey water.

 

[DarkTalon]

*zoom in on dan standing where the wether man should be * Helo dan Talon here With the wether report As youshould see here on the screen be hind me It is Snowing onin the pillwo pit There is a chance for rain in the lions return and a nother cloudless night For Egyption Moon But all in the Srp Should look out For Snow Well lets go back to Nickie and se what she as oicked out to wear now that she is a Anker

 

[Vixandra]

Nicholaa

Looks up from a stack of papers, wearing a nice professional buisness suit jacket over a silky shirt with a plunging neckline.
"Good evening all, and thank you for tuning into Chanel 285, Lit News Today. In our top stories- there's a homicide plee in the Lion's Return, some wolven maddness in another thread and I'm not touching the DBZ one with a ten foot pole.
In world events, Typhoon Choi-wan has decided to spare the mainland of Japan, not that anyone in america gives a flying flip about that.
Now to a corrispondant out somewhere..."

 

[cats]

Speacil report

Hello cats furry here with a specil report. Recently a stikeingly good looking person tried killing Fuz^3. *walks over to Dakrs desk* How ever his murder atempts were forted by a bullet proof vest. He will no longer get the contracted ten dollar bonous that he was promised by da man to kill fuz^3. I....I mean he could really use that money. Prehaps to pay off a loanshark.

*walks away* This was Cats furry with a speacil report.

 

[kamalw1]

Hello, this is Jason Cocoa with some celebrity news. It sees that with her victory in the match and appointment as new co-anchor, Channel 285 has named Nicholaa the "Lit. News Woman of the Year." This prestigious honor comes complee with a dinner with yous truly, Jason Cocoa." *Looks off to the side* "Okay guys, come on in.!" *A bunch of cameramen come into the studio and swarm around Nicholaa, snapping pics of her before rushing off again.* "Welcome to the celebrity life, Nicholaa."

 

[cats]

Speacil news report

Hello I'm Cats Furry with a shocking report. I have discovered the true idenity of the black cat! It's just so very shocking. The black cat is non otehr then Dan talon himself!

Yes I am the black cat. And yes in that black mask I actully do look increadably better then I normally do almost mattching the great looks of cfats furry who in no way made this to frame me out of carefully selected parts from other posts. dan talon really did say this.

Further more I would like to point out evidence I did not plant in Dan Talons desk while on camrea earlier doing a pseacil report with full intent on blameing him for my crime. *reaches into dan talons desk and pulls out black cat mask.* See this mask proves the criminal is Dan talon and not me!

Further more I would like to point out dan talons history of mental troubles. *Holds up picture of Dan Talon studding in a bunch of oil wereing a fashionable black and white verticly striped strait jacket.* So will the courts prove the criminal is Dan Talon or at least buy me time to escape the country..... on buisiness. *Looks around* Only time will tell. This has been Cats Furry with a speacil report.

 

[Vixandra]

Nicholaa

"I'm very proud to acceopt the honor of being named Lit Woman of the year!" Tears sparkle in her blue eyes though she doesn't cry- might smear her mascara.
"In the news right now- a startling finding by Cats Furry has the entire station and most of the network wondering- who's kitty boy trying to fool here?"

 

[DarkTalon]

Johnny cocren walks in * This is my lawer *

Johny " If the masj Dpnt fit must aquit "

Then mask dont fit

 

[cats]

Cats Furry

OOC: I knew Johnny Cocren would come up!

IC: *Is mysteriously not to be found in the room.* Lets see now where was the security vult around here?

 

[Vixandra]

Nicholaa

OOHH Johney COCKren!

 

[cats]

Cats Furry

*Aquires desired information onto a computer disk and returns to teh room.* What did I miss?

 

[kamalw1]

*Folds arms and looks at Nicholaa*

What does Johnny Cochran have that I don't?

 

[cats]

Cts Furry

Well he has fame, fortune, status, respect, a mustache, good looks.... okay he really doesn't have them but he has them on you. Is that enough or should I continue.

 

[Vixandra]

Nicholaa

"I can answer for myself, thank you very damn much," she said icily. "I don't know what Mr. COCKren has that you don't, sir but ya know what, I'm not debating it with you.
"In other news, a growing trend in India has its woman pleased mightely. By surgically inserting small metal balls underneath the foreskin they increase the woman's pleasure during intimate acts.
"Now to our courtroom affiliate with the current Cats VS the former anchor case..."

 

[cats]

Cats Furry

Whao is that what there calling the case bcause I'd title it Dan Talon vs Fuz^3. because really if it was up to me I would drop all charges. Because honestly I don't even like Fuz^3. *Johnny Cockren wispers in my ear.* Okay as my leagle advisor has pointed out I really mean that I do like Fuzz^3 but refuse to beleave his own brotehr would try and kill him. *Looks around to see who's buying today.*

 

[Vixandra]

Random Intern

carrying a huge basket of fresh tuna
"FRESH TUNA!!! CAUGHT THIS MORNING IN THE CATNIP, A SAILING SHIP! WHO WANTS A FREE SAMPLE!?"

 

[PsychedelicFuzz]

This is fuzzz here, from a secret undisclosed location. Seems it's gettin' deep back at the station, so I'd like to introduce my new friends.
*Two large black female bodybuilders with dark glasses, large afros, and large other anatomical assets revealed by skimpy halters appear in the background*
See, I've decided I need a little protection from this Black Cat, whoever he his. So long for now, flesh puppets. This is Fuzzz signing off.

 

[cats]

Cats Furry

The catnip? I rember that vessel. I was once a salior upon thats fishing boat. I was interested in the pay outside of China, we were looking for the elusive gaint tuna. A fish that is considered comon still despite it's rareity.

I had finished untangeling the ropes that hold the nets when I spoted a dalphin off shore. When I went to tell them to hold off on the net, my foot became tangled in a coil.

......

......

I owe alot to that dalphin for saveing my life. An experince of being traped under water in a net would cause many to fear water.

Sure I'll take one!

 

[Vixandra]

Random Intern

*Hands Cats one of the fish* Here you go sir and eat with pleasure! May you get your just desserts to follow it!

 

[cats]

Catts Furry

IC: *Takes Fish* Officers Arest the random Interm for atempted Murder! *points to random Interm* I could be alergic to fish and she knows it! Did she ask if I was? No thats why I have witeness that she tried to kill me now. Oh and this fish now counts as evidence.

 

[Vixandra]

Random Intern

*sniffle* I'll never make another contribution to the Cats Furry is Nifty fund!!! How could you!?!? Why would I try to kill my hero? *starts crying*

 

[cats]

Cats Furry

IC: *takes fish* I'll save it for latter. *walks out of room with fish.*