Daddy Doms

[fredgy]

I’ve always been curious about the dom/submissive world. I’ve always been very submissive to my SO as I love to please, but, I often wonder about exploring my dom side, especially daddy dom since it seems to be more nurturing? Anywho, thanks for sharing and good luck finding your daddy

 

[Master_Doctor]

Greetings

@ Littlebirdjoy :I cant agree with everything you have stated here, Ive been in the lifestyle for more than 2 decades. The one thing that should be in every dynamic in the lifestyle is that it should be meeting the needs of all the people involved in it.

Ive owned my wife /slave for over 14 years. We are soul mates. When she gets sick I do everything possible to take care of her (she just had open heart surgery last month and ive taken care of everything so that all she has to worry about is recovering).

So according to your post. Ive im not constantly training her or having her train for other things... then we will grow apart. There is a strange concept I would share with you. Its called contentment. My wife slave and I are VERY content with each other and after 14 years, I would presume that I am doing something right.

No two dynamics are the same. Simply because everyone is an individual. Even if the dynamic type is the same, the relationship isnt. I encourage and help all my girls to improve themselves. Self esteem for one is always at the forefront of my molding of a submissive. I want them to be happier and better for us being together.

I just dont want people to be convinced that they have to be constantly trained into different things all the time. A Couple can grow TOGETHER without growing apart. I agree that any couple should have individual interests and shared interests. That helps them stay close together and at the same time not loose their individuality.

 

[littlebirdjoy]

Thank you for your perspective Master Doctor.
I think a few wires got crossed here. The part about if there is no work being done more related to online dynamics. I was not clear on that in my post, so clearly, my bad.

We are both in agreement though that "There is a saying, if you aren't growing together than you are growing apart. I believe it is very accurate.".... I'm not sure how that would differ from "A Couple can grow TOGETHER without growing apart." ... but the point that i was originally addressing was the concern Fara rose about did a Daddy truly want their little to grow. I hope that I made it clear that in any healthy dynamic, yes, growth should be happening, be that growth emotional, physical, mental, or fun wise.

I might add in here because you mentioned your experience at 2 decades... I'm not far off you at coming up on 19 years in a few months. My longest relationship clocking in at 13 years. It wasnt sunshine and roses by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm sure you are much better off there. My thoughts and experiences aren't exactly coming fresh off the turnip truck either though.

 

[Chewbacca79]

@ Littlebirdjoy :I cant agree with everything you have stated here, Ive been in the lifestyle for more than 2 decades. The one thing that should be in every dynamic in the lifestyle is that it should be meeting the needs of all the people involved in it.

Ive owned my wife /slave for over 14 years. We are soul mates. When she gets sick I do everything possible to take care of her (she just had open heart surgery last month and ive taken care of everything so that all she has to worry about is recovering).

So according to your post. Ive im not constantly training her or having her train for other things... then we will grow apart. There is a strange concept I would share with you. Its called contentment. My wife slave and I are VERY content with each other and after 14 years, I would presume that I am doing something right.

No two dynamics are the same. Simply because everyone is an individual. Even if the dynamic type is the same, the relationship isnt. I encourage and help all my girls to improve themselves. Self esteem for one is always at the forefront of my molding of a submissive. I want them to be happier and better for us being together.

I just dont want people to be convinced that they have to be constantly trained into different things all the time. A Couple can grow TOGETHER without growing apart. I agree that any couple should have individual interests and shared interests. That helps them stay close together and at the same time not loose their individuality.

Thank you for your perspective Master Doctor.
I think a few wires got crossed here. The part about if there is no work being done more related to online dynamics. I was not clear on that in my post, so clearly, my bad.

We are both in agreement though that "There is a saying, if you aren't growing together than you are growing apart. I believe it is very accurate.".... I'm not sure how that would differ from "A Couple can grow TOGETHER without growing apart." ... but the point that i was originally addressing was the concern Fara rose about did a Daddy truly want their little to grow. I hope that I made it clear that in any healthy dynamic, yes, growth should be happening, be that growth emotional, physical, mental, or fun wise.

I might add in here because you mentioned your experience at 2 decades... I'm not far off you at coming up on 19 years in a few months. My longest relationship clocking in at 13 years. It wasnt sunshine and roses by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm sure you are much better off there. My thoughts and experiences aren't exactly coming fresh off the turnip truck either though.

It doesn't need to become a pissing (calm down, watersports enthusiasts) contest. Definitions differ from dynamic. Neither of you are wrong, neither of you are right.

 

[Misshotndeep]

This is a side of me that I've never fully admitted, I've been admitting things lately because for the longest time I've been shy. This year I've been noticing a lot of things about myself. One thing is for certain is that I love older men and I do find Daddy Doms interesting. I'm learning a lot about the lifestyle and been reading a lot about it on the internet lately.

I've chatted with a few Doms and Daddy Doms in the past and only met a handful of them who I trusted and opened up to them. Others I felt a instant bad vibe from them because they wanted to control me almost immediately and told me what to do with only a few minutes of speaking to them. They didn't want to know anything about me or asked a single thing about me. I want to be able to feel comfy with the person who I'm going to open up too, especially if I'm going to be experiencing sexual things with them or even dirty talking. So the moment "red flags" go off I no longer want to speak to them.

This is a side of me that it's completely new and it's all exciting at the same time. I never knew this was a side of me up until a few years ago and now I'm feeling really comfortable about it. The more research I read about Daddy Doms, I'm feeling very comfy about the whole thing. Older men, is something else I'm beginning to discover about myself and I love the way they speak to me or teach me about new things. It's all very very exciting. This is just something I wanted to share about myself. Even though I'm shy, I can share some things about myself and other times I shy away because it's new to me. I'm sure this is common when you find new things about yourself for the first time.

I wish you the best of luck in your search. The best advice I can give is to research your interest. Remember no matter what any Dom, sub or site says that’s your relationship needs are one of a kind. Don’t let it get bogged down by definitions and so called experts.

 

[Master_Doctor]

Thank you for your perspective Master Doctor.
I think a few wires got crossed here. The part about if there is no work being done more related to online dynamics. I was not clear on that in my post, so clearly, my bad.

We are both in agreement though that "There is a saying, if you aren't growing together than you are growing apart. I believe it is very accurate.".... I'm not sure how that would differ from "A Couple can grow TOGETHER without growing apart." ... but the point that i was originally addressing was the concern Fara rose about did a Daddy truly want their little to grow. I hope that I made it clear that in any healthy dynamic, yes, growth should be happening, be that growth emotional, physical, mental, or fun wise.

I might add in here because you mentioned your experience at 2 decades... I'm not far off you at coming up on 19 years in a few months. My longest relationship clocking in at 13 years. It wasnt sunshine and roses by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm sure you are much better off there. My thoughts and experiences aren't exactly coming fresh off the turnip truck either though.

I appreciate that, interestingly enough my wife/slave and I started our dynamic as online. For about the first 3 years. I agree with you that not nearly all dynamics/relationships go as well as my current one. Im also poly. I normally, have 2 submissives. Being poly makes the situation a lot more complex and challenging to say the least. We have had a couple who were a complete privilege to share our lives/ dynamic with for a time. Sadly, not every ending to a dynamic is made by the choices of the principle occupants.

In the end, my concern is always more about making sure the dynamic is working, i.e meeting the needs of all its members. Maintaining the focus on that rather than merely training and education. Im very please to see that you added other areas of growth... One of the most important areas of growth in my experience (for everyone regardless of what side of the slash you sit) is in self understanding and acceptance. A person cant accurately measure what they need/want until they understand and accept who and what they are at their core.

I was given an example once of what a Daddy Dom IS. I couldnt agree more. Because the definition varies from person to person. The example was this: A Daddy is someone who becomes the best friend and strongest supporter of everything his lilone is and needs. He supports her in becoming the very best version of herself. At its core, its not about sexual dynamics as much as it is this.

On a personal note. Im sorry you havent always had the best experiences. You certainly deserve to.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

This thread has those tiny bubbles forming on the sides that tell you it’s about to boil.

Well said. I've been in two caretaker relationships that were really very positive and this was a commonality between them. On a different site a very wise person wrote once, "if you are in a D/s relationship and you aren't being encouraged to grow as a submissive, if no learning or training is taking place. This is a big red flag. You are more likely than not being used as someone's personal porn star." Sure, that isn't always the case, but it was true in my past relationship, and it was a giant red flag I didn't know to look for. He had no desire or inclination to care enough about my well being to actually... help me grow.

Boy howdy, well said! A contract of any variety in this dynamic (verbal or written) is a living document, and as such should be revisited regularly and intentionally. It should be a part and process that you work through together making sure that you are both moving along that same path, and that it is still in both your best interests.

There is a saying, if you aren't growing together than you are growing apart. I believe it is very accurate.

My Daddy, when asked, will say that his entire point is to help me grow into the person I was supposed to be, the person I am innately without all the trappings of ego and walls. First going back to the little girl before she got hurt and hurt and hurt and then helping to grow her into the woman she was meant to become. It is something that, yes, to a degree scares me. I've expressed that a few times. I'm happy that I've finally FINALLY found a safe place to be little. That I finally am beginning to know what that looks like when it is really truly wanted. I'm scared that I will "outgrow" it, and then what will happen... but he reassures me every time that I bring that up that he has got us. That it may well happen that I outgrow that when I no longer need it, because I'm well and truly safe, but if I do, it is me that he loves and it is him that I love and respect... so no matter what, no matter how "big" I get I'll still be his little.

A different Daddy who I knew a long time ago wrote a really beautiful piece about being a stone shelter for his little one. That he believed that it was his job to get bigger for her if she grew, not ever his job to make her smaller to fit him. It was really beautiful. I'd go looking for it in the DDlg thread, but I'm not really emotionally up for hunting for it right now. It would be around July or August of 2018.

Thank you OP and thank you DGE.

Thanks for sharing your personal experiences (congratulations on finding that safe place), and these keepworthy nuggets about DD/lg. I love that stone shelter imagery.

I'm not sure the rules should be all about it... some certainly should. Others are for safety, well being, respect, etc. The GOALS which should be created together and worked on together certainly should be. Cognitive behavioral psychology can be very useful for this.

Waiiiiiit... can’t learning to prioritize safety, well-being and respect be part of improving and growing?

 

[littlebirdjoy]

This thread has those tiny bubbles forming on the sides that tell you it’s about to boil.



Thanks for sharing your personal experiences (congratulations on finding that safe place), and these keepworthy nuggets about DD/lg. I love that stone shelter imagery.



Waiiiiiit... can’t learning to prioritize safety, well-being and respect be part of improving and growing?

YOU BET! This was actually one of the first ones that was important for the stone shelter person. I was kinda trying to aim at that not all learning is sexual as I felt that Master Doctor was misunderstanding my use of the words growth and training as purely physical.
Self awareness and awareness of safety were the first lessons ever taught me. They also always and in ever relationship remain rule #1 and rule #2
Rule #1 take care of your own safety (physical, mental, and emotional) in my absence.
Rule #2 take care of the kiddo and your work.
THEN your obligations to PLY.

^that kinda switches round when physically with him as I happen to also identify as slave... so when I'm physically there I need to know he has got rule #1 and #2 handled when he gives me a directive. I shouldnt have to stop and second guess whether it satisfies rule #1 and #2... but that is a complete side note. <3

oooohhhhh I'm just making my second little forray into poly D/s and it is getting interesting. The first was a clusterfuck of mean and unfair. This is going okay, but it has it's bright moments and its ***uggghhhhh**** ones.

 

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

"On another point, I disagree (and tell me if I misunderstand) that DD/lg dynamics with rules aren’t about improvement over time, for both DD and little. The rules should be ALL about improvement and growth, in my opinion. Those are the signposts that keep you aware as you’re both hiking the trail, and moving you to the summit. They keep you on track, and foster mutual understanding. They provide data on your journey. They are indicators, too, and can be rethought and renegotiated if they aren’t working. That’s growth, right?"

Well said. I've been in two caretaker relationships that were really very positive and this was a commonality between them. On a different site a very wise person wrote once, "if you are in a D/s relationship and you aren't being encouraged to grow as a submissive, if no learning or training is taking place. This is a big red flag. You are more likely than not being used as someone's personal porn star." Sure, that isn't always the case, but it was true in my past relationship, and it was a giant red flag I didn't know to look for. He had no desire or inclination to care enough about my well being to actually... help me grow.

"The rules should be ALL about improvement and growth, in my opinion." I'm not sure the rules should be all about it... some certainly should. Others are for safety, well being, respect, etc. The GOALS which should be created together and worked on together certainly should be. Cognitive behavioral psychology can be very useful for this.

"Those are the signposts that keep you aware as you’re both hiking the trail, and moving you to the summit. They keep you on track, and foster mutual understanding. They provide data on your journey. They are indicators, too, and can be rethought and renegotiated if they aren’t working"
Boy howdy, well said! A contract of any variety in this dynamic (verbal or written) is a living document, and as such should be revisited regularly and intentionally. It should be a part and process that you work through together making sure that you are both moving along that same path, and that it is still in both your best interests.

There is a saying, if you aren't growing together than you are growing apart. I believe it is very accurate.

My Daddy, when asked, will say that his entire point is to help me grow into the person I was supposed to be, the person I am innately without all the trappings of ego and walls. First going back to the little girl before she got hurt and hurt and hurt and then helping to grow her into the woman she was meant to become. It is something that, yes, to a degree scares me. I've expressed that a few times. I'm happy that I've finally FINALLY found a safe place to be little. That I finally am beginning to know what that looks like when it is really truly wanted. I'm scared that I will "outgrow" it, and then what will happen... but he reassures me every time that I bring that up that he has got us. That it may well happen that I outgrow that when I no longer need it, because I'm well and truly safe, but if I do, it is me that he loves and it is him that I love and respect... so no matter what, no matter how "big" I get I'll still be his little.


A different Daddy who I knew a long time ago wrote a really beautiful piece about being a stone shelter for his little one. That he believed that it was his job to get bigger for her if she grew, not ever his job to make her smaller to fit him. It was really beautiful. I'd go looking for it in the DDlg thread, but I'm not really emotionally up for hunting for it right now. It would be around July or August of 2018.

Thank you OP and thank you DGE.

Thank you for writing this. This is why I'm so cautious when a gentleman claims to be a Daddy Dom, I've chatted with a few handful of Daddy Dom's over Lit and many of them rushed me into sexual things almost immediately. I took this as a huge red flag, because I want to trust that person first before I open up completely to them. Thanks for responding to my thread.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

YOU BET! This was actually one of the first ones that was important for the stone shelter person. I was kinda trying to aim at that not all learning is sexual as I felt that Master Doctor was misunderstanding my use of the words growth and training as purely physical.
Self awareness and awareness of safety were the first lessons ever taught me. They also always and in ever relationship remain rule #1 and rule #2
Rule #1 take care of your own safety (physical, mental, and emotional) in my absence.
Rule #2 take care of the kiddo and your work.
THEN your obligations to PLY.

^that kinda switches round when physically with him as I happen to also identify as slave... so when I'm physically there I need to know he has got rule #1 and #2 handled when he gives me a directive. I shouldnt have to stop and second guess whether it satisfies rule #1 and #2... but that is a complete side note. <3

oooohhhhh I'm just making my second little forray into poly D/s and it is getting interesting. The first was a clusterfuck of mean and unfair. This is going okay, but it has it's bright moments and its ***uggghhhhh**** ones.

I think we’ll just have to agree to agree.

(Thanks for splaining.)

 

[littlebirdjoy]

I think we’ll just have to agree to agree.

(Thanks for splaining.)

^__^ you made my day Mr.DGE. Thank you.

Maater_Doctor; I know exactly what you mean and I absolutely agree. Self awareness is seriously difficult, self acceptance doubly so even in the easiest circumstances when the self confirms to accepted norms and mores. Add any deviance from this and allllll of the trappings of ego can be hard to spot and deal with appropriately.
One of my favorite quotes of all time is " The eye sees not so clearly itself but by reflection." To me; this is why it is necessary for a little to have a Daddy ( any person to have a TRUE friend) who is that reflection reality check. The one who ** gets** them.

Someday, some other thread I'd love to pick your brain about Poly D/s. I know there is a thread already existant for it, but due to some past interactions i steer clear of it.


@BeautifulBlueskies if you'd ever like to talk, I'm always here. ♡ yeah it can be VERY hard to separate the wheat from the chaff here ( and everywhere). I wish I had magic advice to make it easy, I dont.
I've even gone a solid year speaking to someone believing they were who and what they said. ... only to find out every bloody word was total bull. Their job ( I'd hern shown photos from idk what) their living situation ( despite talking to them on cam numerous times) even massive tragic illness that I lost sleep and my own peace over for months at a time. I've been gaslit from here to hell and back. Manipulated. Threatened. And threw my reputation under the bus and in the trash for a no good liar. It took me over a year to really know and accept the truth. Am I bitter? No. Not at all. We all have issues. This person has theirs. I have mine. Their needs and realities are theirs to live with and own. It is an experience that I learned a lot both good and bad from. It changed me to be sure, but I believe for the better. I would like to believe I'll never be able to be manipulated that way again. I have some personal rules I've put into place moving forward to prevent it, but they wouldn't be reasonable for all people in all situations so they don't bear repeating publically.

On the flip side I've met AMAZING genuine people who helped put me back on my feet more than once. Wonderful men and women who know that they only see publically the smoke of a fire they can't see raging. Daddies who have been my hand to pull me back up and remind me to dust myself off. Daddies who have held me safe when I just needed a hug. Let me hide in their pockets when the world was too big and scary. Insightful Doms who taught me life lessons I'd NEVER have gotten to alone. Amazing Dominants who led me down paths of self discovery and growth to the point I dont recognize the person I was even two years ago, and would never ever want to be her again.

It has been good and hard and scary and wonderful.

Love to all who know who they are. Yes, even you.

 

[Master_Doctor]

^__^ you made my day Mr.DGE. Thank you.

Maater_Doctor; I know exactly what you mean and I absolutely agree. Self awareness is seriously difficult, self acceptance doubly so even in the easiest circumstances when the self confirms to accepted norms and mores. Add any deviance from this and allllll of the trappings of ego can be hard to spot and deal with appropriately.
One of my favorite quotes of all time is " The eye sees not so clearly itself but by reflection." To me; this is why it is necessary for a little to have a Daddy ( any person to have a TRUE friend) who is that reflection reality check. The one who ** gets** them.

Someday, some other thread I'd love to pick your brain about Poly D/s. I know there is a thread already existant for it, but due to some past interactions i steer clear of it.


@BeautifulBlueskies if you'd ever like to talk, I'm always here. ♡ yeah it can be VERY hard to separate the wheat from the chaff here ( and everywhere). I wish I had magic advice to make it easy, I dont.
I've even gone a solid year speaking to someone believing they were who and what they said. ... only to find out every bloody word was total bull. Their job ( I'd hern shown photos from idk what) their living situation ( despite talking to them on cam numerous times) even massive tragic illness that I lost sleep and my own peace over for months at a time. I've been gaslit from here to hell and back. Manipulated. Threatened. And threw my reputation under the bus and in the trash for a no good liar. It took me over a year to really know and accept the truth. Am I bitter? No. Not at all. We all have issues. This person has theirs. I have mine. Their needs and realities are theirs to live with and own. It is an experience that I learned a lot both good and bad from. It changed me to be sure, but I believe for the better. I would like to believe I'll never be able to be manipulated that way again. I have some personal rules I've put into place moving forward to prevent it, but they wouldn't be reasonable for all people in all situations so they don't bear repeating publically.

On the flip side I've met AMAZING genuine people who helped put me back on my feet more than once. Wonderful men and women who know that they only see publically the smoke of a fire they can't see raging. Daddies who have been my hand to pull me back up and remind me to dust myself off. Daddies who have held me safe when I just needed a hug. Let me hide in their pockets when the world was too big and scary. Insightful Doms who taught me life lessons I'd NEVER have gotten to alone. Amazing Dominants who led me down paths of self discovery and growth to the point I dont recognize the person I was even two years ago, and would never ever want to be her again.

It has been good and hard and scary and wonderful.

Love to all who know who they are. Yes, even you.

I would be happy to discuss Poly D/s, M/s dynamics with you. I have sent you a private message in the subject. Thank you for recognizing what I was trying to convey about Daddy Doms.

 

[nakedginger]

It is something that certainly interest me. I am exploring my submissive side and taking things slowly. There are two male older male friends who are very supportive and patient with me and are helping me explore this huge area. It Dd/lg is something I would like to explore with them.

 

[midnightkiss69]

intrigued to put it lightly

Hello all. I stumbled across literotica a few weeks back, enjoying some of the Dom/daddy dom/bdsm stories and I was COMPLETELY wet every night. I began to wonder if this lifestyle was actually real. Then I started reading more stories and became more curious, and yes, more wet. I didn't realize that I would actually find this so extremely titillating, but here I am.

My friends would find this quite interesting, if I ever even CONSIDERED mentioning these thoughts to them as I am a confident and bold individual who tends to take control of every day life situations and needs. I'm usually quite bossy and expect my own way and get it. But, reading these stories, I'm quite weak in the knees and I cannot help but feel extraordinarily drawn to these stories every night.

I would be interested in having an online Dom friend that could introduce me to this new and exciting world to perhaps enjoy such an experience, if possible, online.

Thanks for listening

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

The deafening thunder you all heard, echoing across the rolling hills, was her inbox detonating.

(Welcome to Lit.)

 

[Bluebird369]

The deafening thunder you all heard, echoing across the rolling hills, was her inbox detonating.

(Welcome to Lit.)

too true!

 

[Bluebird369]

Not sure if this is the place to post this question I have, I dont deleted

 

[littlebirdjoy]

Not sure if this is the place to post this question I have, I dont what to hijack the OP.
But I would like some advice about my relationship with my Daddy dom...he is the quintessential supporting and caring Daddy always ready to provide a lap or a shoulder to rest my head on, I call him my Daddy bear because he is a strong sometimes growly but really a big teddy bear.

But for me he is not Dominant enough, I want more of a follow through with some of the issues we have discussed, I want him to hold me accountable, if I act a bit sassy he will jump on that and shut it down and I immediately go into a submissive head space and I feel so much better after knowing my Daddy cares enough to dole out a punishment and allows me to correct that behavior and be forgiven and move on.

But I don't want to be a brat just to push him into being the Dominant Daddy I want, I'm afraid to say anything because he is so great in other ways....I'm I just being to greedy? How do I ask for more of the Dominant Daddy I want?
Thank you all for reading this post...

Heya Bluebird!
This is a perfectly fine place to ask that question!
You might want to havw a gander at this thread which asks a similar question:


I posted a rather long excerpt there from a fantastic lady named Jade from ages past entitled " Dom me Dammit!"
https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=91701803&postcount=5

I'm going to look for another resource i happen to have had in ages past which took a stance closer to D/s as opposed to M/s. I'll post once I have it.

The tldr answer is; yes, communicate. Try to have a sit down and talk about the things that you love about your relationship. Tell him about what you just said... that you love being in that frame of mind, and you want to live there more. Tell him what he does that gets that reaction out of you, snd even tell him what you just did... that you are scared that you are headed towards topping from the bottom to push him there, and you know you don't want to do that. In the end, the greatest way to get there, imho... is to just work on your own headspace. When he isnt actively putting you on your knees.... KNEEL in your own mind. Find one thing at that point to do that to YOU speaks submission ... see how that affects you (and him) but again, beware of topping from the bottom.

<3 Angie

There is also a fantastic thread on the playground filled with lovely ladies and Daddyish peoples who would be more than happy and capable of giving you fantastic advice. Try to look up Cascadiabound or barefootgirl69... they run that thread and would be, I'm sure thrilled to see you around. (Just don't mention me... they will throw tomatoes )

Good luck sweety!

 

[Bluebird369]

Heya Bluebird!
This is a perfectly fine place to ask that question!
You might want to havw a gander at this thread which asks a similar question:


I posted a rather long excerpt there from a fantastic lady named Jade from ages past entitled " Dom me Dammit!"
https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=91701803&postcount=5

I'm going to look for another resource i happen to have had in ages past which took a stance closer to D/s as opposed to M/s. I'll post once I have it.

The tldr answer is; yes, communicate. Try to have a sit down and talk about the things that you love about your relationship. Tell him about what you just said... that you love being in that frame of mind, and you want to live there more. Tell him what he does that gets that reaction out of you, snd even tell him what you just did... that you are scared that you are headed towards topping from the bottom to push him there, and you know you don't want to do that. In the end, the greatest way to get there, imho... is to just work on your own headspace. When he isnt actively putting you on your knees.... KNEEL in your own mind. Find one thing at that point to do that to YOU speaks submission ... see how that affects you (and him) but again, beware of topping from the bottom.

<3 Angie

There is also a fantastic thread on the playground filled with lovely ladies and Daddyish peoples who would be more than happy and capable of giving you fantastic advice. Try to look up Cascadiabound or barefootgirl69... they run that thread and would be, I'm sure thrilled to see you around. (Just don't mention me... they will throw tomatoes )

Good luck sweety!

Thank you for the advice little bird! I will definitely look for the threads you have mentioned, I'm sure some of my questions have been answered Ad Nauseam here but this is new for me and I'm cognizant it takes a lot of work to have a successful DD/s relationship....

 

[littlebirdjoy]

Oh absolutely! It does! Asking is positive <3 I'm so glad you are here.

 

[Bluebird369]

Weight issues and the DD/lgbg dynamic

Deleted

 

[littlebirdjoy]

Hi hi again Bluebird! <3

People are going to start throwing tomatoes at me for being the one to reply, hopefully others will chime in too!

This is a forever issue for me as well. It is something I've been working on slowly but surely for the last 3 years. One relationship I had was GREAT at keeping me on track. Another really did me a disservice. Right now with my Daddy/Master I'm working on this issue concertedly, as it is something that is really important to both of us. He is relatively fit and likes to be very active. While I'm pretty darn fit for a fat person, I'm still, at the end of the day, overweight. It is something that is important for me to fix for my health, for my happiness, and for his as well.

So, what works for me...
One partner I used to have was "the keeper of the cookies." read all things suggery and awesome. If I believed I'd earned one I had to explain WHY I had earned one. It could be meeting a goal, or really owning a lesson he was teaching me. Because he was giving me the opportunity to say "hey I earned one please" i never felt tempted to cheat.

Another thing I did in another relationship which I've carried over into my current relationship is that I keep a food/water/exercise diary that is accessible to him. It serves a few purposes: it keeps me accountable. He is never over my head about it (as we speak I'm a day behind, but I turn it in every Tuesday anyhow.) It helps me to feel close to him. It is a way that I get my creativity out when he is busy and doesnt have too much time to chat at work. It takes me about 3 hours a week to set up the template on Google Docs. I use a google presentation and hunt for cute themed backgrounds for each slide (last week was Victorian flower wallpaper, this week is pictures of the house!!! EEEEEEPPPPP!!! So freaking excited!) Then i plop in the table which lists breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, fluids, and exercise. I can add in a column if something else important is going on like I am sick etc. The last slide of the week I write something heartfelt. I thank him for something... this I save until I know EXACTLY what I need to thank him for.

Last month I finally bit the bullet and bought an eliptical that I'd been debating doing for a while. so I've also been posting pictures every time that I get on it of the numbers... I'm supposed to do either 30 minutes twice a day or 150 calories, whichever I can handle at the time. I post these images in our family chat that we have. Again, it helps keep me accountable. Miss L and he root me on when I do. It has been fun watching the kilometers rack up... I'm up to 170 right now in 12 days. It gives me a sense of accomplishment rather than disappointment. I know i cant disappoint him if I'm doing what we've agreed. If I stall out then I'll go back to the doctor that we have agreed I'm seeing, and make changes.

Lastly I have a little counter *points* down there in the bottom of my signature. Right now it is -17/85, tomorrow it will change. whatever it changes TO, I know because of all ^^^ that^^^ that I've not disappointed him, or myself. Even if it goes to -15 God forbid... I still wont have disappointed him. My body may be being a jerk, but that has nothing to do with me, my work, my effort, or his happiness with me.

I hope any of that helps! <3

PS When it gets super hard and I want to quit or eat a cookie I have a mental image that I hold onto which is something sexytimes that we both really want to do, but would not be possible until I'm, as he puts it, a bit daintier ^___^ and I think of the awesomeness of the thing and I'm all forms of re-energized and motivated!

You have all of our support!

~Faithfully,
Angie


PS: SHOOT I forgot D! *sorry!*
My very first Dom on here really appreciated helping me with this as well. I don't know what in the hell possessed me to do this, but I did. The first time he ever saw a video of me, it was me doing zumba before school in my classroom. HAHA! I had meant to talk to him, but one of my rules for myself was 30 min in the morning, and I hadnt gotten to do it at home, so it was then or never. As I was filming I swear to God the top button of my blouse flew off and I was like well shit, probably not sending THIS video... but you know what I decided screw it... this is me. so i sent it. He got back to me rather immediately and told me I was the most adorable thing he'd ever laid eyes on. He really enjoyed me sending him videos of doing my dancing so I did that pretty regularly. I liked his support. He even used to hunt for routines he wanted me to learn.

Thank you D!

 

[Bluebird369]

Hi hi again Bluebird! <3

People are going to start throwing tomatoes at me for being the one to reply, hopefully others will chime in too!

This is a forever issue for me as well. It is something I've been working on slowly but surely for the last 3 years. One relationship I had was GREAT at keeping me on track. Another really did me a disservice. Right now with my Daddy/Master I'm working on this issue concertedly, as it is something that is really important to both of us. He is relatively fit and likes to be very active. While I'm pretty darn fit for a fat person, I'm still, at the end of the day, overweight. It is something that is important for me to fix for my health, for my happiness, and for his as well.

So, what works for me...
One partner I used to have was "the keeper of the cookies." read all things suggery and awesome. If I believed I'd earned one I had to explain WHY I had earned one. It could be meeting a goal, or really owning a lesson he was teaching me. Because he was giving me the opportunity to say "hey I earned one please" i never felt tempted to cheat.

Another thing I did in another relationship which I've carried over into my current relationship is that I keep a food/water/exercise diary that is accessible to him. It serves a few purposes: it keeps me accountable. He is never over my head about it (as we speak I'm a day behind, but I turn it in every Tuesday anyhow.) It helps me to feel close to him. It is a way that I get my creativity out when he is busy and doesnt have too much time to chat at work. It takes me about 3 hours a week to set up the template on Google Docs. I use a google presentation and hunt for cute themed backgrounds for each slide (last week was Victorian flower wallpaper, this week is pictures of the house!!! EEEEEEPPPPP!!! So freaking excited!) Then i plop in the table which lists breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, fluids, and exercise. I can add in a column if something else important is going on like I am sick etc. The last slide of the week I write something heartfelt. I thank him for something... this I save until I know EXACTLY what I need to thank him for.

Last month I finally bit the bullet and bought an eliptical that I'd been debating doing for a while. so I've also been posting pictures every time that I get on it of the numbers... I'm supposed to do either 30 minutes twice a day or 150 calories, whichever I can handle at the time. I post these images in our family chat that we have. Again, it helps keep me accountable. Miss L and he root me on when I do. It has been fun watching the kilometers rack up... I'm up to 170 right now in 12 days. It gives me a sense of accomplishment rather than disappointment. I know i cant disappoint him if I'm doing what we've agreed. If I stall out then I'll go back to the doctor that we have agreed I'm seeing, and make changes.

Lastly I have a little counter *points* down there in the bottom of my signature. Right now it is -17/85, tomorrow it will change. whatever it changes TO, I know because of all ^^^ that^^^ that I've not disappointed him, or myself. Even if it goes to -15 God forbid... I still wont have disappointed him. My body may be being a jerk, but that has nothing to do with me, my work, my effort, or his happiness with me.

I hope any of that helps! <3

PS When it gets super hard and I want to quit or eat a cookie I have a mental image that I hold onto which is something sexytimes that we both really want to do, but would not be possible until I'm, as he puts it, a bit daintier ^___^ and I think of the awesomeness of the thing and I'm all forms of re-energized and motivated!

You have all of our support!

~Faithfully,
Angie


PS: SHOOT I forgot D! *sorry!*
My very first Dom on here really appreciated helping me with this as well. I don't know what in the hell possessed me to do this, but I did. The first time he ever saw a video of me, it was me doing zumba before school in my classroom. HAHA! I had meant to talk to him, but one of my rules for myself was 30 min in the morning, and I hadnt gotten to do it at home, so it was then or never. As I was filming I swear to God the top button of my blouse flew off and I was like well shit, probably not sending THIS video... but you know what I decided screw it... this is me. so i sent it. He got back to me rather immediately and told me I was the most adorable thing he'd ever laid eyes on. He really enjoyed me sending him videos of doing my dancing so I did that pretty regularly. I liked his support. He even used to hunt for routines he wanted me to learn.

Thank you D!

Thanks for responding and posting what works for you...I was worried talking about weight and how having input from your Dom/ daddy to help you with a weight issue would be taboo, we can talk about anything here on lit but sometimes weight is the topic people dodge.

I just want to reiterate that my Daddy is very supportive and is not driving me too do anything I don't want to do, I'm not trying to remake myself into a thin model type to please my Daddy, I just want to be healthy and live a long time!...Blue

 

[box13]

Hooray for finding your littleness and sharing!

Hip hip...hooray!

 

[WillJ8787]

I'm glad a lot of people have enjoyed this thread. I finally came back to this topic and saw so many responses. WOW! Thank you! Ask me any questions you'd like to know. I'm hoping to meet a few Daddy Dom's to speak with too, so I can know more about this lifestyle.

I really like the discussion of many here that for me represents the fantasized​ life they might want and the search for it, and the reality of what they found or experienced. I've never found exactly what I want(my fantasized projection of reality) and I don't think that will ever be because it only resides in my head. My experience is I've gotten closer to it though.

I am fascinated by the openness many have written about to explore the unknown, to discover themselves whether being a d or an s. Thank you.