Daddy Doms

[ARoseSoSweet]

An interesting thread with interesting observations.

I have said that I am looking for a Dom, and ideally a Daddy Dom, as I want someone who is caring and wants to take care of me. I can take care of myself but I want to be that princess that someone wants to spoil. I don't consider myself a little, maybe a bit of a middle, but not sure. I definitely need attention and that is where I struggle as I want ALL the attention. I feel like in many ways, a Daddy dom is more likely to provide that then a "regular" Dom.

Sorry.. I got rambly but only so many places that one can talk about this.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

An interesting thread with interesting observations.

I have said that I am looking for a Dom, and ideally a Daddy Dom, as I want someone who is caring and wants to take care of me. I can take care of myself but I want to be that princess that someone wants to spoil. I don't consider myself a little, maybe a bit of a middle, but not sure. I definitely need attention and that is where I struggle as I want ALL the attention. I feel like in many ways, a Daddy dom is more likely to provide that then a "regular" Dom.

Sorry.. I got rambly but only so many places that one can talk about this.

That's a very short "ramble"! This is the place to explore, question, doubt, learn, share, and whatever else one may so desire, so being rambly is welcomed.

Others may certainly have different opinions, but I don't think the desire to have all the attention of your Dom differentiates between a DD or other kinds of Doms. That is more of a particular commitment between two individuals - regardless of the nature of their relationship. The difference, for me at least, is in something else you said - wanting to be "that princess that someone wants to spoil" - that is the purview of a DD.

I also don't think having a relationship with a DD has to be solely defined as either being a little or a middle or anything else. It lends itself to subs who are littles or middles, but it is not exclusively defined by it.

One thing that emerged earlier in this thread though is that many DDs seem to be married and thus their ability to provide all the attention is seriously curbed. Again, obviously, not all, but there is something about the marriage dynamic that seems to draw some men, myself included, into that kind of role...

There are a few threads here and there dedicated to such relationships - explore, chat, share and I'm sure you might find some ideas that start to connect with your own desires, passions, and aspirations.

 

[Enchanted_DreamSam]

That's a very short "ramble"! This is the place to explore, question, doubt, learn, share, and whatever else one may so desire, so being rambly is welcomed.

Others may certainly have different opinions, but I don't think the desire to have all the attention of your Dom differentiates between a DD or other kinds of Doms. That is more of a particular commitment between two individuals - regardless of the nature of their relationship. The difference, for me at least, is in something else you said - wanting to be "that princess that someone wants to spoil" - that is the purview of a DD.

I also don't think having a relationship with a DD has to be solely defined as either being a little or a middle or anything else. It lends itself to subs who are littles or middles, but it is not exclusively defined by it.

One thing that emerged earlier in this thread though is that many DDs seem to be married and thus their ability to provide all the attention is seriously curbed. Again, obviously, not all, but there is something about the marriage dynamic that seems to draw some men, myself included, into that kind of role...

There are a few threads here and there dedicated to such relationships - explore, chat, share and I'm sure you might find some ideas that start to connect with your own desires, passions, and aspirations.

Thank you for this post. I relate with all of it so much. For a very long time I always knew there was something about me. This is when I began to notice those changes, seeking for Daddy Dom roles. A few times I got disappointed because it had none of that and was only seeking for one type of thing. I enjoy being pampered, looked after, loved, protected and adored. I'm a middle. I think everyone is different, I try to explore and see what's out there. You put everything so nicely, which I appreciate. I will keep coming back to this thread and more post. Feel free to ask me any questions if you'd like.

 

[AnnieLit]

One thing that emerged earlier in this thread though is that many DDs seem to be married and thus their ability to provide all the attention is seriously curbed.

Either we have different ideas of what "all attention" looks like, or I just got lucky, but I would say in my experience with online connections married men tend to pay MORE attention, not less. And that was true for any online interactions: DD, other D-types, subs. Can't add 100% vanilla to this list as I don't think I ever talked to one, but with everybody else marriage was never in the way.

It might have been in RL, but with online when it is a text here, an e-mail there, a phone call from the car or from work during lunch. One way or another marriage never really got in the way.

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

Others may certainly have different opinions, but I don't think the desire to have all the attention of your Dom differentiates between a DD or other kinds of Doms. That is more of a particular commitment between two individuals - regardless of the nature of their relationship. The difference, for me at least, is in something else you said - wanting to be "that princess that someone wants to spoil" - that is the purview of a DD.

I also don't think having a relationship with a DD has to be solely defined as either being a little or a middle or anything else. It lends itself to subs who are littles or middles, but it is not exclusively defined by it.

One thing that emerged earlier in this thread though is that many DDs seem to be married and thus their ability to provide all the attention is seriously curbed. Again, obviously, not all, but there is something about the marriage dynamic that seems to draw some men, myself included, into that kind of role...

There are a few threads here and there dedicated to such relationships - explore, chat, share and I'm sure you might find some ideas that start to connect with your own desires, passions, and aspirations.

And see, I was thinking Princess wasn't a DD... lol. But you're right, everything depends on the people and the dynamic involved. I think I have chased several area due to my attention needs.

I did see the comments about the married males. Maybe because they know better as to what it takes to make a relationship good and successful? Wait.. that comments go against the attention time. One of my best Doms, wasn't a daddy, is married. We did talk daily, and I actually was fairly satisfied with the time he had for me, but then other things happened in life and it ended.

I'll have to look for some other threads.. i haven't been here for quite a while so i'm exploring.

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

Either we have different ideas of what "all attention" looks like, or I just got lucky, but I would say in my experience with online connections married men tend to pay MORE attention, not less. And that was true for any online interactions: DD, other D-types, subs. Can't add 100% vanilla to this list as I don't think I ever talked to one, but with everybody else marriage was never in the way.

It might have been in RL, but with online when it is a text here, an e-mail there, a phone call from the car or from work during lunch. One way or another marriage never really got in the way.

I think it depends how much attention you want. If i had my way, I would be chatting with someone most of the evening and during the day. I had one Dom that put me on text restriction (he was an ass though).

 

[AnnieLit]

I think it depends how much attention you want. If i had my way, I would be chatting with someone most of the evening and during the day. I had one Dom that put me on text restriction (he was an ass though).

I am married too, so it's a bit different

 

[Katch123]

Its refreshing to read such honest and thought provoking views.

 

[DirtyLittleDiva85]

"I always want you to look into my eyes when your kneeling in front of me."

That photo sums it up nicely.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

That photo sums it up nicely.

It most certainly does!

 

[DirtyLittleDiva85]

It most certainly does!

It's that mix that I crave so much... raw, no limits sexuality with adoration of his sub. Who knew that was so fucking hard to come by!

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

I spent a week chatting to a guy who had great potential to be a Daddy Dom.. but alas, it was not meant to be (the very abbreviated version).

Why is it so hard to find a good Dom, not to mention a Daddy one?

 

[AnnieLit]

I spent a week chatting to a guy who had great potential to be a Daddy Dom.. but alas, it was not meant to be (the very abbreviated version).

Why is it so hard to find a good Dom, not to mention a Daddy one?

Is it easy to find a guy for a long term relationship, even if you are looking for vanilla? And on top of that you need to have matching D/s kinks...

It is somewhat easier to find a Dom for an occasional play, but I can't imagine a DD/lg situation without much of emotional connection. And for that yiu need a relationship, not just play. So, back to square one.

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

Is it easy to find a guy for a long term relationship, even if you are looking for vanilla? And on top of that you need to have matching D/s kinks...

It is somewhat easier to find a Dom for an occasional play, but I can't imagine a DD/lg situation without much of emotional connection. And for that yiu need a relationship, not just play. So, back to square one.

Absolutely agree.. Just frustrating to put in the time and it doesn't go. But better to find out sooner than later

 

[Enchanted_DreamSam]

Many Daddy Doms who I've spoken too are all married. This sort of upset me and put on damper on things for me because I don't want to be something on the side. I'm a sensitive person by nature and I done thinking where I don't think it's for me because of that. I don't want to be something on the side or talked too simply when they need a fix or something. I want something more and not just on the side. Maybe this isn't the direction I should go. I'm sure there's many lovely people in the BDSM community but I get attached and stepped away from it.

 

[AnnieLit]

Many Daddy Doms who I've spoken too are all married. This sort of upset me and put on damper on things for me because I don't want to be something on the side. I'm a sensitive person by nature and I done thinking where I don't think it's for me because of that. I don't want to be something on the side or talked too simply when they need a fix or something. I want something more and not just on the side. Maybe this isn't the direction I should go. I'm sure there's many lovely people in the BDSM community but I get attached and stepped away from it.

Are you talking about online or RL? It looks like the only people that do it online are the ones that can't do it in real life. There can be different reasons for that (age, disability,...), but by far the main one is marriage. That is why almost any DD that you find here is married.

With RL things are different. Still, many are marrired and are looking for an affair, but others are single. I would say it's 50/50 for guys 35 - 55, and then there are more singles.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

From a married DD perspective - at least my own - like most of the women, I crave a connection, something meaningful, intimate, emotional - I can't imagine being in a DD/lg relationship without those things. For me though, I have zero capacity to sustain an online relationship, it just isn't how I function. Friendship, yes; with someone I've been involved with irl or where there is a very real possibility of a physical relationship, yes; but just long-distance chatting, cybering, whatever, I am a complete and total failure as a DD.

Anyone who says they are a DD and just looking for cybersex or very minimal communication when it is convenient for them is not a true DD - it is just a roleplay.

As for being an "affair", the "other woman" - obviously, each of us have to make our own decisions, but I also think so much depends on the very particular situation - the nature of your own DD/lg relationship, the nature of the DD's marriage, his ability to commit time and emotions, etc. It is certainly never easy, but each relationship is so radically different that it is hard to draw some general standard. I had one DD/lg relationship that was more casual - she herself had limited time/commitment to the relationship so I invested less in it. Another was much more intense and when my own ability to fulfill her needs as her DD became more constrained I recognized that she needed to seek out another DD. It really sucks, to put it mildly, but we both knew and accepted that reality...

 

[Master_Doctor]

From a married DD perspective - at least my own - like most of the women, I crave a connection, something meaningful, intimate, emotional - I can't imagine being in a DD/lg relationship without those things. For me though, I have zero capacity to sustain an online relationship, it just isn't how I function. Friendship, yes; with someone I've been involved with irl or where there is a very real possibility of a physical relationship, yes; but just long-distance chatting, cybering, whatever, I am a complete and total failure as a DD.

Anyone who says they are a DD and just looking for cybersex or very minimal communication when it is convenient for them is not a true DD - it is just a roleplay.

As for being an "affair", the "other woman" - obviously, each of us have to make our own decisions, but I also think so much depends on the very particular situation - the nature of your own DD/lg relationship, the nature of the DD's marriage, his ability to commit time and emotions, etc. It is certainly never easy, but each relationship is so radically different that it is hard to draw some general standard. I had one DD/lg relationship that was more casual - she herself had limited time/commitment to the relationship so I invested less in it. Another was much more intense and when my own ability to fulfill her needs as her DD became more constrained I recognized that she needed to seek out another DD. It really sucks, to put it mildly, but we both knew and accepted that reality...

There is a huge difference between and 'affair' and someone who is ethically poly. Its also generally so vanilla of a term. I became poly after many years of never even imagining being anything less than completely monogamous. The reason why? Because I found myself in a situation where I could love two women and be dedicated to them both... and see that their needs were met. My definition of ethically poly is a situation where there are no secrets, everyone is onboard and aware of the relationships in play... AND where both relationships/dynamics are Long term.

I agree with your points that every relationship is unique. In addition that a D/s, DD/s or M/s requires attention and time and emotional connections on both parties. Just because a DD and a s type seek the same kind of Relationship/ dynamic, doesnt mean they are compatible.

Ive always said that a Lifestyle relationship is 10x as complicated as a vanilla one. Because there is so much more going on in the relationship. Dynamics, fetishes, a more complex list of needs, wants and desires.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

There is a huge difference between and 'affair' and someone who is ethically poly. Its also generally so vanilla of a term. I became poly after many years of never even imagining being anything less than completely monogamous. The reason why? Because I found myself in a situation where I could love two women and be dedicated to them both... and see that their needs were met. My definition of ethically poly is a situation where there are no secrets, everyone is onboard and aware of the relationships in play... AND where both relationships/dynamics are Long term.

I agree with your points that every relationship is unique. In addition that a D/s, DD/s or M/s requires attention and time and emotional connections on both parties. Just because a DD and a s type seek the same kind of Relationship/ dynamic, doesnt mean they are compatible.

Ive always said that a Lifestyle relationship is 10x as complicated as a vanilla one. Because there is so much more going on in the relationship. Dynamics, fetishes, a more complex list of needs, wants and desires.

As I personally find the normative construction of marriage as a monogamous relationship between two people as so utterly unnatural and un-human, I wish there were a day when ethically poly relationships were at least viewed as an acceptable alternative...

More importantly, I think your point that just because two people have the same "kink" and desire/expectation from a relationship doesn't mean they are necessarily compatible is important. I've sensed that many subs and lgs get drawn into a relationship because they see a Dom or DD, not necessarily because of the person. And I have no doubt that is even more true for many self-proclaimed Doms and DDs - who are attracted to a sub just because she is a sub without really seeing who she is - it's just a fantasy, a role that the sub fulfills, and not a relationship.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

There is a huge difference between and 'affair' and someone who is ethically poly. Its also generally so vanilla of a term. I became poly after many years of never even imagining being anything less than completely monogamous. The reason why? Because I found myself in a situation where I could love two women and be dedicated to them both... and see that their needs were met. My definition of ethically poly is a situation where there are no secrets, everyone is onboard and aware of the relationships in play... AND where both relationships/dynamics are Long term.

I agree with your points that every relationship is unique. In addition that a D/s, DD/s or M/s requires attention and time and emotional connections on both parties. Just because a DD and a s type seek the same kind of Relationship/ dynamic, doesnt mean they are compatible.

Ive always said that a Lifestyle relationship is 10x as complicated as a vanilla one. Because there is so much more going on in the relationship. Dynamics, fetishes, a more complex list of needs, wants and desires.

IMO, the stereotypical 'vanilla' relationship is one that typically hasn't been open enough to poke under the covers & find out what each others' interests/kinks/hangups may be. I'm not saying everyone should be playing in BDSM somehow, just that everyone I've ever met and had any meaningful conversation on the subject has had some form of 'non-vanilla' kink, from as mild as a preference for cuddling, holding hands or not, on to as wild as you care to go.

Until you're willing to trust your partner(s) and they're willing to trust you with each others' odd little quirks and deviations, I'd say it's a weaker relationship than it could be. Once the relationship gets to the point where the members *are* willing to share those 'non-standard' / 'deviant' / 'fun' bits, the complication level does jump up, regardless of how 'vanilla' it may seem on the surface.

 

[Reignbow30]

DaddyDoms are very much like other Doms except they like to nurture their submissive’s (littles or middles) more and help them discover their passions to grow up strong and ready to take on the world much like some Daddy’s. They can be more like Daddy’s but they shouldn’t be expected to be push overs or anything else weak.

I like your explanation.

 

[Master_Doctor]

IMO, the stereotypical 'vanilla' relationship is one that typically hasn't been open enough to poke under the covers & find out what each others' interests/kinks/hangups may be. I'm not saying everyone should be playing in BDSM somehow, just that everyone I've ever met and had any meaningful conversation on the subject has had some form of 'non-vanilla' kink, from as mild as a preference for cuddling, holding hands or not, on to as wild as you care to go.

Until you're willing to trust your partner(s) and they're willing to trust you with each others' odd little quirks and deviations, I'd say it's a weaker relationship than it could be. Once the relationship gets to the point where the members *are* willing to share those 'non-standard' / 'deviant' / 'fun' bits, the complication level does jump up, regardless of how 'vanilla' it may seem on the surface.

ok, except that as soon as a relationship starts to incorporate Fetishes, deviant fun bits etc. It ceases to be 'vanilla' by its very definition. To 98% of the public my wife/slave and I are by all accounts a loving, safe dedicated monogamous married couple. Only friends who are also in the 'lifestyle' and a few other 'lifestyle friendly' people know the truth... Granted, this is completely for the safety of ourselves and our collective family.

Although, Ive done studies for years... of how many things have become considered vanilla when for ages they were very much not. Oral sex for one. No complaining, I just found it very interesting.

 

[CoffeeNovels]

I would be happy to talk and discuss. I m a europran writer, over fifty.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I assume most have seen this in the "Daddy's Little Girl" thread, originally posted by bfg (who I hope doesn't mind the borrowing), but it sums up many of the sentiments of what it means to be a Daddy Dom. Obviously, not all relationships are the same, not all Daddy's are the same, not littles, not their needs and desires, making it near impossible to set in stone "this is what a Daddy Dom is"! Rather, these are guides, talking points, but establish what distinguishes a DD from other kinds of Doms.

http://cdn09.**********/uploads/photos/2020/01/1009379/bdsmlr-1009379-CIncHz3Q1A.jpg

 

[AnnieLit]

If we are sharing one-page summaries, I like the one by Wizard David. The full text is on FetLife, so I can't link it here, it will not be visable for non-members, but here is the most of it:
https://tiffyxkittyx.tumblr.com/post/137961333917/what-are-daddy-doms

Update: for those that have an account on Fet, here is the link to the full version:
https://fetlife.com/users/172723/posts/925421