Daddy's Little Girl - Fourth Edition

[desertbunny]

@GrantBricksly I don't want to quote your whole post because it is rather long, but it is very insightful. Thank you. I am kink aware within D/s, it is not new to me. Daddy/little is for the most part. I do know what it is not. (I don't desire to mention those words here for the reasons @barefootgirl69 referred to above. The last thing I want is to risk getting this thread reported) I am now aware that there's no "one size fits all" in DD/lg, just as there isn't in D/s. Which is refreshing to learn.

 

[dawn_of_night]

You mean 100%, full bore, get on my knees, "yes Sir", well behaved, docile submissive? Yeah, no. No man has ever been able to get me to do that, not even my hubby. I can be submissive, but on my terms, and I might, no I probably will, push back at least a little bit. But not like a brat. That's being disrespectful. It's hard to describe and I'm complicated.

It's okay to be complicated!
That's the best.... And as far as "one my terms" I totally, while heatedly support that ....
You should not have to do anything you don't want, there's a brat thread around here somewhere .... You could check it out too just to see if that's a vibe you feel comfortable with, submissives come in all flavors and something like this is totally up to you to choose, you are who you are meant to be

 

[dawn_of_night]

@desertbunny I think you're learning quickly, that's good!

 

[CuriousRick]

@GrantBricksly Well said in your post. When I first came to lit my mind went straight to age play etc when I heard daddy dom/little thanks to this thread and others I learned that is not what it is. I am not a mean or harsh person. I enjoy making people happy, taking care of them, nurturing. So I have learned that I lean more towards Daddy Dom. It is something. I do want to explore more of. And thank you all for letting me participate in the thread!! I hope it isn’t just because of my cookies!!! ( adding more cookies to the table to be sure)

 

[desertbunny]

@desertbunny I think you're learning quickly, that's good!

I have the type of brain that will hyperfocus on something I'm really interested in and then my brain gets like a sponge.

 

[Strixaluco]

I've been reading back through the thread when I can to try and get a feel for what this place is all about. I do like doing some "little" things, but I don't know if I'm a little, if that makes some sense? And if I'm not really a little, and I know I'm definitely not a DaddyDom lol, do I belong here?

I don't really do much "little things" either. I don't regress or play younger. No glitter for me. No "little" clothes. I just recently took along a plushie for the first time in my whole life and I'm still very puzzled by that happening.

Among the outwardly littlest things I do are my paper planner, which I do myself (printing loose leaf pages etc) and which does see plenty of colours, and sitting in my DDs lap. Oh and jumping into leaf piles in the autumn. Just gotta love wading in colourful leaves. Oh and holding his hand when we're out and about. Sometimes I manage to get in the little mood and actually not follow traffic etc myself, just be happy (or tired) and follow him.

But most don't see how he tucks me in bed. And there are plenty of funny little things that are hard to describe. Witty little remarks that aren't meant to be bratting, but may stop him in his tracks and burst to laughter. Or kissing him funnily, like straight on the nose. And that kind of stuff has just become more and more as I've relaxed and felt safe being little.

The biggest part of it for me is being take care of, though. Yes, I may submit in a rather classical way (didn't think I would, but he makes me submit way more deeply than I would have expected), but my little side is only partly submissive. It wants more authority than domination.

 

[Littlewolf8258]

The biggest part of it for me is being take care of, though. Yes, I may submit in a rather classical way (didn't think I would, but he makes me submit way more deeply than I would have expected), but my little side is only partly submissive. It wants more authority than domination.

I think that authority vs domination is a great distinction, @Strixaluco. Definitely resonates with me as far as what my little side is like.

 

[Littlewolf8258]

I’ve recently been struggling with where I fit into things too. Someone recently gave me the advice to stop worrying whether I’m “doing it right” when it comes to being little and to focus on am I happy… I wish I could say that was easy for me, but I am trying.

It definitely helps to see everyone saying similar things about not needing to fit a certain mold or check off some list of things that make us little. I’m grateful to have found this space where everyone is so supportive of each other, even when I’m not the most active here.

 

[dawn_of_night]

I don't really do much "little things" either. I don't regress or play younger. No glitter for me. No "little" clothes. I just recently took along a plushie for the first time in my whole life and I'm still very puzzled by that happening.

Among the outwardly littlest things I do are my paper planner, which I do myself (printing loose leaf pages etc) and which does see plenty of colours, and sitting in my DDs lap. Oh and jumping into leaf piles in the autumn. Just gotta love wading in colourful leaves. Oh and holding his hand when we're out and about. Sometimes I manage to get in the little mood and actually not follow traffic etc myself, just be happy (or tired) and follow him.

But most don't see how he tucks me in bed. And there are plenty of funny little things that are hard to describe. Witty little remarks that aren't meant to be bratting, but may stop him in his tracks and burst to laughter. Or kissing him funnily, like straight on the nose. And that kind of stuff has just become more and more as I've relaxed and felt safe being little.

The biggest part of it for me is being take care of, though. Yes, I may submit in a rather classical way (didn't think I would, but he makes me submit way more deeply than I would have expected), but my little side is only partly submissive. It wants more authority than domination.

This is very well written? Described?
I can resonate with your actions....
I don't age play, or dress differently, but my attitude and my hobbies sometimes seems more little than others, I don't mind coloring, or cartoons, or cereal for dinner, hotdogs and Mac n cheese ... Snacks and cuddles....
I need structure and routine, not spankings and angry voices (no, not what dominance is, I know) I'm just saying ...
But I love it when he tells me to do things....
Come sit with me. Come get in the truck. Come .... Etc...
I honestly think we get to write our own definition....

 

[GrantBricksly]

This is very well written? Described?
I can resonate with your actions....
I don't age play, or dress differently, but my attitude and my hobbies sometimes seems more little than others, I don't mind coloring, or cartoons, or cereal for dinner, hotdogs and Mac n cheese ... Snacks and cuddles....
I need structure and routine, not spankings and angry voices (no, not what dominance is, I know) I'm just saying ...
But I love it when he tells me to do things....
Come sit with me. Come get in the truck. Come .... Etc...
I honestly think we get to write our own definition....

Exactly! The Kink world is all about making it yours. It's kind of like a choose your own adventure.

My wife is very much into spanking...but not so much in the Daddy/little way of things...as in "you're in trouble...you've earned a spanking" It's more a sexual thing for her. She just really enjoys that sensation.

But like you said, she likes structure and routine. She loves it when I tell her what to do. "Come sit with me. Go to bed (that one really gets her sometimes...when she isn't feeling well, or has had a long day... I will sometimes send her to bed. She fights it, but more in a 'bratty' kind of way. She actually quite loves it.)

She loves it when I tuck her in at night Cause even when we go to bed together, which is almost every night, I still do that. When I say "I'm proud of you" she gets all giddy. I'll order for her. Not out of any sort of dominance, but because I know what she wants. And she loves it. She loves that I know her so well, that I can place her order for her.

 

[barefootgirl69]

We are  all individuals. Each one of us has needs that may be different than what others need, want, desire. It's not wrong to find fulfillment in them.

There is no "one twue Dom/Daddy" or "one true submissive/little/babygirl" - our experiences are not always going to meet someone else's definition.

The important thing is to discover who  you are and find happiness in that.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I'll order for her. Not out of any sort of dominance, but because I know what she wants. And she loves it. She loves that I know her so well, that I can place her order for her.

I love this, and it is a good way for me to point out that this doesn't happen in every relationship/dynamic.

There was a time that I was with someone who didn't want this when going out to eat. If he asked what I wanted, he wanted me to tell the wait staff - and by obeying, I was a good girl.

*smiling*

 

[GrantBricksly]

I love this, and it is a good way for me to point out that this doesn't happen in every relationship/dynamic.

There was a time that I was with someone who didn't want this when going out to eat. If he asked what I wanted, he wanted me to tell the wait staff - and by obeying, I was a good girl.

*smiling*

Well it brings up a very very VERY important part of ANY relationship, especially when any sort of kink or power dynamic is in play:

COMMUNICATION

Every single thing like that. Each and Every thing I do like that, my wife and I have had conversations about ahead of time. We literally sat down one day and discussed if it was OK for me to order her food for her. And in what circumstances it was or wasn't ok.

We discussed if it was OK for me to pick out clothing for her, and when it was or wasn't appropriate. We discussed the need to be aware of her work needs when it came to clothing choices, and her comfort, not just physical, but mental and emotional as well.

Communication for things like this is extremely important, and something a lot of people tend to skip, or miss. And even when they DO have those conversations, what many often skip or miss, is that the communication should NEVER STOP.

I still every once in a while check in with her to make sure that it's OK that I do those things. And she checks in with me to make sure I am OK doing them...Never stop talking, never stop asking.

 

[dawn_of_night]

Exactly! The Kink world is all about making it yours. It's kind of like a choose your own adventure.

My wife is very much into spanking...but not so much in the Daddy/little way of things...as in "you're in trouble...you've earned a spanking" It's more a sexual thing for her. She just really enjoys that sensation.

But like you said, she likes structure and routine. She loves it when I tell her what to do. "Come sit with me. Go to bed (that one really gets her sometimes...when she isn't feeling well, or has had a long day... I will sometimes send her to bed. She fights it, but more in a 'bratty' kind of way. She actually quite loves it.)

She loves it when I tuck her in at night Cause even when we go to bed together, which is almost every night, I still do that. When I say "I'm proud of you" she gets all giddy. I'll order for her. Not out of any sort of dominance, but because I know what she wants. And she loves it. She loves that I know her so well, that I can place her order for her.

I can resonate with this too.... As a switch... My RL partner sometimes needs me to help with food orders... I think she really enjoys it when I am able to give her what she wants.... And even if it's not in the bedroom

 

[Jw75766]

You mean 100%, full bore, get on my knees, "yes Sir", well behaved, docile submissive? Yeah, no. No man has ever been able to get me to do that, not even my hubby. I can be submissive, but on my terms, and I might, no I probably will, push back at least a little bit. But not like a brat. That's being disrespectful. It's hard to describe and I'm complicated.

Being submissive shouldn't ever feel like being a doormat. Everything has its shade of gray where comfort and consent are considered. As has been discussed here plenty, submissiveness is a very subjective thing and means different things to each person.

 

[Jw75766]

@GrantBricksly Well said in your post. When I first came to lit my mind went straight to age play etc when I heard daddy dom/little thanks to this thread and others I learned that is not what it is. I am not a mean or harsh person. I enjoy making people happy, taking care of them, nurturing. So I have learned that I lean more towards Daddy Dom. It is something. I do want to explore more of. And thank you all for letting me participate in the thread!! I hope it isn’t just because of my cookies!!! ( adding more cookies to the table to be sure)

I had the same impression at first as well.

 

[dawn_of_night]

I'm glad to see this open discussion among us.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Porch therapy. It's been a hard day. My mind isn't in a reading mood or a coloring mood. I just want to lay here, smell the fresh air, listen to the evening birds and critters.


ETA: from the internet. This is our porch swing in DLG.

 

[dawn_of_night]

View attachment 2554807

Porch therapy. It's been a hard day. My mind isn't in a reading mood or a coloring mood. I just want to lay here, smell the fresh air, listen to the evening birds and critters.

That's a beautiful space.... I hope it helps your mind get right....
I've had a lot of extra weird stressors lately....
Last night I took the hammer and crow at our to the "yard" and I took apart some pallets....

Tonight.... I couldn't get into big brother, (which is usually one of the only reality TV shows I watch all year....)
Tonight I went outside got the saw and drill and made some wood decor for our porch....

And I feel amazing.....
It doesn't bother me that I've also found some special fella.... And I'll just say that's been very comforting....

And I know I've seen some newbies floating in here, you are gonna be fine, do things at your pace... Don't let someone tell you what you need.... You'll find it when you most need it.....

 

[Strixaluco]

I like to remind anyone feeling uncertain, that terms are applied to phenomena that not clearly divided in reality, but just blurry blotches, and those blotches may and do also overlap.

So, it's impossible to be very definitive of them. They are just a starting point for discussion and a tool for making it easier to find like-minded people, don't let them define you!

Just like D/s isn't defined by the level of formality but by the power exchange itself, DD/lg isn't defined by any outwardly visible habits either, but by something more fundamental. Which is why caregiver/little is in fact a nice term. (In Finnish we say Big/little.) How it shows out can differ wildly.

I also like to remind you that I know a little who usually dominates her human cat, who mostly takes care of her... You do you!

So, concentrate on finding, approximately, what you want and need and don't want. And no need to fuss too much even about that, It will probably be redefined, even change over time anyway.

 

[Saltfountain]

Imagine, a thread where people make thoughtful posts and explore concepts as opposed to just posting one word responses to boobs

 

[Strixaluco]

Man there are some dissertations in this thread.

Yes. We appreciate discussing things.

What we don't appreciate is someone being judgy in other people's safe place.

 

[Strixaluco]

Also, seems like someone haven't read an actual dissertation.... They are not even on the same page.

 

[desertbunny]

View attachment 2554807

Porch therapy. It's been a hard day. My mind isn't in a reading mood or a coloring mood. I just want to lay here, smell the fresh air, listen to the evening birds and critters.


ETA: from the internet. This is our porch swing in DLG.

Oh how I'd love to curl up small, well as small as a tall girl as I am can be, on the couch swing and just be here for a little while and not have to think, just exist.

 

[Jw75766]

JPReads (intentionally not tagging) seems to be the type who is only looking for the drive by pleasures. Too much actual thinking and discussing happening here.