Dealing with the Neighbors...

[sheath]

I don't know the extent to which you've already been "outed", but what's the chance of the Nashville music industry shutting you out if it becomes well known that you also write erotica? Is that a financial risk you can take?

Good question.

I write under the same pseudonym for my songwriting as for my erotica, and everyone who works with me in the music industry is fully aware of what I write. I tend to write erotica that actually centers ON the music industry, so at this point nothing from my pen would surprise anybody on Music Row. I think I finished shocking them years ago. LOL

Luckily, I have made many friends in Nashville over the years, and the fact that I write erotica is embraced rather than shunned. I'm fortunate to be in the midst of such tolerant souls.

So far as the nuisance angle...at this point, I know he is exploring five or six different possibilities. I will know more in the morning.



S.

 

[SensualCealy]

Writing erotica shouldnt have anything to do with the situation, you dont push it on her, you dont show it to the kids, you dont advertize that you do it- WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT!!!

Little Debbie is jealous that you have taken a role as a single parent to find a job that not only lets you stay home with the kids but also make some mucho donaro (sp).

And not only that she is jealous you were in the spot light! Now this is where I think the media may suck for this, if they head on over to her house, is that not only giving her the opportunity to say smut about you but also giving her more time "on the air" to voice her views and others that support her?

I would stick to the fact that the editor has recieved this letter and you had no idea someone sent it in on your behalf. Act surprised and let him interview you, this once again shows you are bending backward to make things livable in your neighbourhood. He will then have to get a statement from her, and of course would say, Miss Debbie , Im with the ________ we have recieved a letter supporting Miss Sheath stating that what you are doing with your kids is harrasment over the fact she writes adult matterial, do you have a statement?

Making this very little about her will dwindle the light for her and likely show others that she isnt such a goodie two shoes. If she starts in on what you do they can always fire this one at her "Is it true that even though Sheath writes adult material, you were involved with a drug dealler at one time and still have to see this man from time to time allowing him access to his children? Does this make you a bad person, or just a person with a vendeta (have to stop spelling big words, no dictionary around! lol)!

I think this will strengthen you as a person and really show the kids that just because they are told something doesnt mean what they are told is right.

Id love to read the newspaper article once its published if you get a copy post it!
Keep on truckin' girlfriend!
Cealy

 

[ReadyOne]

I'd think that if CPS visited Debbie (because of the complaint your lawer files) and THEN the media visists her.....

 

[HoldenMcCrank]

Sheath I am not all about revenge

I just hope to give you a little escape if only mentally from your Neighbor from Hell!

As for the comment of using salt or weed killer on your neighbors lawn I strongly dissagree. That is destructive, not what you want. What you want is to help to beautify the neighbor hood. So I would recomend using some Turf Builder laid out is some creative text. Or not..... just suggestions

Then there is the thought of a sprinkler on a motion sensor. They are about $60.00

http://www.greentouchirrigation.com/greentouchirrigation1/images/ACF597B.gif

They are marketed for getting rid of pests!

On more of a serious note. I know that you have shown great restraint with going forward with the legal process. You are to be commended for that.

Just remember this - there are a bunch of us that are just waiting for you to give us the word and we will be all over this bitch in a flash. As a friend of mine used to say "If they want to play FUCK FUCK, we will play FUCK FUCK!"

May peace come to you soon!

Holden

 

[cecelia]

"As a friend of mine used to say "If they want to play FUCK FUCK, we will play FUCK FUCK!""

That cracked me up!

I've had the good fortune to be in contact with a couple of people lately who have found themselves in very tough emotional and physical situations not of their own making. One of them I know quite well, the other not as well. Although they have been stretched to their limits, they're still holding firm and, as a result, have become stronger than they thought possible. Both of these women have had to deal with their problems pretty much on their own.

Despite the horrible 'down side' to their circumstances, it has been an inspiration to watch their grace under pressure as well as their courage. When unfair or bad things happen, they often have a positive effect on people we may not even know or hear about.

Sorry to wax so philosophical but I think this may be true in your case. Maybe this is the 'silver lining' you've referred to in the past?

 

[sheath]

I think this will strengthen you as a person and really show the kids that just because they are told something doesnt mean what they are told is right.

Id love to read the newspaper article once its published if you get a copy post it!
Keep on truckin' girlfriend!
Cealy

Trust me, if the editor runs with it, it WILL show up on this thread.

I have explained to my children what is happening, every step of the way, and I actually asked them: "Okay, what do you want to do? Do you want to move? Stick it out? What?"

My son's response: "Nobody is making us move until we want to move."

My daughter agreed, but she asked: "They are mad at you for writing books like you do?"

I told her: "I think so."

Her response: "Well, that proves they are just plain stupid."

Out of the mouth of babes.

They understand that I write for a living, and that some of the things I write are things that many won't agree with reading. But they know what 'freedom of speech' means, and they also understand what 'right to privacy' means. Sometimes I have wondered if I am teaching them a little too much, but in situations like this they stand up and stick to their guns, even at their young ages...which means somewhere along the way, I said something that stuck.

Small update: Today, a boatload of letters were sent out...formal letters from my attorney. To juvenile court, CPS, HOA, the supervisors of the local director, the police department, the attorneys for the HOA, and a few other things that I can't remember right now. I contacted my journalist friend and told him to let me know what he wants to do, I will cooperate with any story he runs.

Let the games begin.

S.

 

[sheath]

Re: Sheath I am not all about revenge

Just remember this - there are a bunch of us that are just waiting for you to give us the word and we will be all over this bitch in a flash. As a friend of mine used to say "If they want to play FUCK FUCK, we will play FUCK FUCK!"

LMAO! Oh, I needed that laugh this morning!

S.

 

[sheath]

I'd think that if CPS visited Debbie (because of the complaint your lawer files) and THEN the media visists her.....

She would hide in that house and never come out...or she would move.

S.

 

[sheath]

"As a friend of mine used to say "If they want to play FUCK FUCK, we will play FUCK FUCK!""

That cracked me up!

I've had the good fortune to be in contact with a couple of people lately who have found themselves in very tough emotional and physical situations not of their own making. One of them I know quite well, the other not as well. Although they have been stretched to their limits, they're still holding firm and, as a result, have become stronger than they thought possible. Both of these women have had to deal with their problems pretty much on their own.

Despite the horrible 'down side' to their circumstances, it has been an inspiration to watch their grace under pressure as well as their courage. When unfair or bad things happen, they often have a positive effect on people we may not even know or hear about.

Sorry to wax so philosophical but I think this may be true in your case. Maybe this is the 'silver lining' you've referred to in the past?

I hope you are right. I believe there is some good to every situation, just like there is goodness in every person...even Debbie, God forbid. LOL I think every hardship is worthwhile, if it touches someone else and makes a difference, and if it changes us for the better.

It is so hard to deal with everything sometimes...it gets hard to hold onto the silver linings.

Thank you for reminding me that one is there.

S.

 

[alonelygal]

They understand that I write for a living, and that some of the things I write are things that many won't agree with reading. But they know what 'freedom of speech' means, and they also understand what 'right to privacy' means. Sometimes I have wondered if I am teaching them a little too much, but in situations like this they stand up and stick to their guns, even at their young ages...which means somewhere along the way, I said something that stuck.

S.

I've been watching this thread and what you've been going through. I haven't had much to contribute beyond wanting to add my voice to the well wishers who have posted. Seeing this though, I have to say this. Sheath, if nothing else good comes out of this garbage, at least you have proof that you're doing a great job with those kids.

Sometimes, amidst the chaos, you get one of those rays of sun that shines despite the clouds. You get that one bright star that lights up the dark night sky. This sounds like one of those to me.

We're all pulling for ya, darlin.

 

[Metal_Monkey]

Small update: Today, a boatload of letters were sent out...formal letters from my attorney. To juvenile court, CPS, HOA, the supervisors of the local director, the police department, the attorneys for the HOA, and a few other things that I can't remember right now. I contacted my journalist friend and told him to let me know what he wants to do, I will cooperate with any story he runs.

Let the games begin.

S.

Yay! I feel like we're on the campaign trail. We should all run down to your house with big signs that say "Support Sheath!" and have the news stations blaring on every tv in the house waiting for the first mention of Debbie and her big mess. We can have an awesome party, skip work, and stay up all night! (Your kids will love it, right?) I'll even make buttons and bumper stickers.

 

[sheath]

I've been watching this thread and what you've been going through. I haven't had much to contribute beyond wanting to add my voice to the well wishers who have posted. Seeing this though, I have to say this. Sheath, if nothing else good comes out of this garbage, at least you have proof that you're doing a great job with those kids.

Sometimes, amidst the chaos, you get one of those rays of sun that shines despite the clouds. You get that one bright star that lights up the dark night sky. This sounds like one of those to me.

We're all pulling for ya, darlin.

Thank you for that.

It has been hard to watch them deal with all this. But you know what? The kids are handling it with such aplomb and grace. I feel like I am learning a lot from them, rather than the other way around.

S.

 

[sheath]

Yay! I feel like we're on the campaign trail. We should all run down to your house with big signs that say "Support Sheath!" and have the news stations blaring on every tv in the house waiting for the first mention of Debbie and her big mess. We can have an awesome party, skip work, and stay up all night! (Your kids will love it, right?) I'll even make buttons and bumper stickers.

Hell, we can even have a parade! Here in Tennessee, we seem to celebrate the craziest things, so why the hell not?

S.

 

[Mysty61]

sheath -

if the media is now going to get involved, i think you need to take a deep breathe and really think about what might happen here.
if you go after her 'all guns blazing', then the public perception of you is not going to be favourable - in fact, you might find that YOU end up being portrayed in the negative.

perhaps a softer approach, that still involves the media?
like simply stating that 'there have been a few things you and your children didn't agree with, but that this is simply a neighborhood spat and you're sure it'll blow over eventually' kind of statement, and allow your neighbour to be the one who goes off the deep end at the media?
(not sure if i'm getting my point across here!)

basically, let HER be the villain.

*sigh* too early for me to make much sense, but you're a super-smart woman - i'm sure you get my meaning!!!

I think this is very good advise for you, and would add that it would be wise to talk to your lawyer before saying anything to the media. You might even want him present if you are talking to them. Things can be taken out of context twisted and turned to a point that you had no idea you said anything close to what appears in print. No matter what happens when this hits the press your good name is going to take a hit - you have already seen this in your neighborhood, you just want it to be as small a hit as possible. People will take sides, but most will falsely point to you becasue of your writing. It is not fair, it is not correct, and it is not reasonable, but it is the way people react especially in an area like the "bible belt". Christians so many times can be anything but understanding and forgiving - they sure do not make a good advertisement for themself.

You are to be admired for taking the high ground in this thing, I am not so sure I could keep as cool as you appear to be, and they way you are handling it with your kids, I think, is very admirable. You can hold your head high.

Have fun laughing at all the suggestions of getting even - we have all benefited for when the time comes to get even with someone. I have been thinking of the old saying "if you can not beat them, join them". Maybe you could get born again, then you would one of them, and could write about the sexual escapades of all these good people. That should make everyone happy. They have "saved" another person, and we can continue to read your works. Sounds reasonable to me anyway.........LOL

 

[sheath]

Mysty61...Good points, all around.

In this case, I have a good publicist, and there is one journalist I wholeheartedly trust...I have no problem handing him a comment or two...mostly because I know he will do his best to stem the tide of negativity. He's really good that way.

But regardless, I expect some flak. There is nothing at all I can do to stop it, because the word "erotica" automatically conjures up naughty images in minds...and separating the woman from the writer seems to be impossible for some people to do.

I appear to be cool about this? You haven't seen me throw things and curse, but rest assured, there is a LOT of that going on around here lately.

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

S.

 

[Lovin_to_death]

I have explained to my children what is happening, every step of the way, and I actually asked them: "Okay, what do you want to do? Do you want to move? Stick it out? What?"

My son's response: "Nobody is making us move until we want to move."

My daughter agreed, but she asked: "They are mad at you for writing books like you do?"

I told her: "I think so."

Her response: "Well, that proves they are just plain stupid."

Out of the mouth of babes.

This right here shows that you are a better parent than like 85 to 90 percent of America you should be proud of your ability to raise kids that speak and know this you get a rose

 

[SensualCealy]

We in general keep bringing up the fact that she is what "Born Again Christian"?

Well it seems to me if she is "BORN AGAIN" she should be following the footsteps of Christ and look beyond the person and see what is in their heart. That is what being Christian is all about. To forgive and to understand others is such a basic Christian belief maybe it should be thrown at her in a Christian way. Every time her kids or Debbie says anything to you or your kids anymore, say "I will pray for you!" Wont that throw her for a loop!!

I hope things are going well other wise, and maybe this will make a good manuscript, get writing girlfriend!!
C

 

[Joe21m]

Long time reader, first time poster. I just had to comment on this situation.

I have read thoroughly the first at the last page, skimming in between.

What I think has not been mentioned is the reason why you want to handle this situation is a mature and reasonable -- yet firm -- fashion: the kids. While I'm not sure about the ages involved, it is key that you show your children an adult path to resolution; one that does not dip into the id too frequently. Yet you do not want to be run over.

Exercising all options in order of escalation is, in my opinion, the way to go.

Ultimately, how you react to the situation will teach the kids more about life than the situation itself. They will pattern your responses as the effective coping mechanism.

Much as "Debbie's" kids have patterned harassment as an appropriate response.

Second point: it came up that the erotica writer should be separated from the woman. I do not believe this is the case; would the musician be separate from the person? No. If we love what we do, it is an integral and intrinsic part of self. I myself am in sales and use that ability to define myself.

Is it wrong that you are an erotica writer? No. Is it part of you? Yes. Should that be the only part by which you are defined? Surely not.

And a final note about media relations; mud thrown sticks.

I would be genuinely curious to hear Debbie's side. I adore rationalisation mechanisms.

 

[sheath]

Second point: it came up that the erotica writer should be separated from the woman. I do not believe this is the case; would the musician be separate from the person? No. If we love what we do, it is an integral and intrinsic part of self. I myself am in sales and use that ability to define myself.

Is it wrong that you are an erotica writer? No. Is it part of you? Yes. Should that be the only part by which you are defined? Surely not.

And a final note about media relations; mud thrown sticks.

I would be genuinely curious to hear Debbie's side. I adore rationalisation mechanisms.

I did speak out of turn on that point, and I realized it later when a friend blasted me for it, lol.

No, the erotica writer should not be separated from the woman. I am a writer...it is what I do, and it does define a part of me. What I SHOULD have said is what you put so eloquently...that it should NOT be a basis for making a judgment of who I am. The writer is a part of me, yes...but my life does not center around it.

I am other things as well...foremost a mother, but also a friend, a sister, a daughter, a lover...those things all define me on some level, just as the word 'writer' defines me so strongly.

I guess my comment was in response to the fact that Debbie and her cohorts don't see the word "writer". They see the word "erotica" and then throw out labels that they think fit the stereotype. I didn't know how to say it at the time, I think.

You, however, said it perfectly.

S.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

It seems more close-minded people see "erotica" and immediately assume whoever writes stories in that genre must be an immoral person. If you're a woman who writes erotica, then it obviously means you are a loose woman who will sleep with anything with a penis.

It's amazing how far we have come in some respects but can still remain in the dark ages in others.

Sheath, I am following this thread, checking in daily, to keep up with the latest developments. I wish you all the best!

 

[watergirl]

Good luck, hon.

I really am relishing the idea of you bringing the media in on your side... well, they were invited, and nobody knows by whom, but there are any number of concerned friends here at Lit who might have sent the media a letter...

*grin*

Good will vanquish the debbiemonster! HAHAH - I have faith in this!

 

[sheath]

Interesting update!

After a day of shopping and getting the little girl's school shots (ouchie), I came home...and another new neighbor walked over to talk to me. This particular one has been here for maybe two months, a really hard-working couple, with a beautiful little girl. She has been friendly in a 'wave from the driveway' kind of way.

So she came over and got right to the point, which was..."Can your kids come over and play?" Of course they could, I told her, and then she went on to ask, point-blank: "You write erotica?"

I told her yes, I did.

Then she went on to ask me, quite nicely, if I would autograph my latest book, which she intends to buy at the bookstore today.

She then pointed out that she firmly believes I am a good neighbor, she thinks my kids are great, and she would be more than happy to tell that very thing to anyone who might happen to have a reason to ask. Then she hollered at my kids (loudly enough to wake the dead) to get on over to her place for a while, she had plenty of ice cream and their daughter needed "some nice, friendly children to play with."

Then she winked at me and said I was more than welcome to dinner, she would love for me to meet her husband.

Oooh...my oh my, how the tongues will wag now!

S.

 

[ny11011]

Interesting update!

After a day of shopping and getting the little girl's school shots (ouchie), I came home...and another new neighbor walked over to talk to me. This particular one has been here for maybe two months, a really hard-working couple, with a beautiful little girl. She has been friendly in a 'wave from the driveway' kind of way.

So she came over and got right to the point, which was..."Can your kids come over and play?" Of course they could, I told her, and then she went on to ask, point-blank: "You write erotica?"

I told her yes, I did.

Then she went on to ask me, quite nicely, if I would autograph my latest book, which she intends to buy at the bookstore today.

She then pointed out that she firmly believes I am a good neighbor, she thinks my kids are great, and she would be more than happy to tell that very thing to anyone who might happen to have a reason to ask. Then she hollered at my kids (loudly enough to wake the dead) to get on over to her place for a while, she had plenty of ice cream and their daughter needed "some nice, friendly children to play with."

Then she winked at me and said I was more than welcome to dinner, she would love for me to meet her husband.

Oooh...my oh my, how the tongues will wag now!

S.

Wag they will, but the list of possible waggers grows ever thinner.

 

[SlickTony]

I'd say that things are looking up!

 

[midwestyankee]

Interesting update!

After a day of shopping and getting the little girl's school shots (ouchie), I came home...and another new neighbor walked over to talk to me. This particular one has been here for maybe two months, a really hard-working couple, with a beautiful little girl. She has been friendly in a 'wave from the driveway' kind of way.

So she came over and got right to the point, which was..."Can your kids come over and play?" Of course they could, I told her, and then she went on to ask, point-blank: "You write erotica?"

I told her yes, I did.

Then she went on to ask me, quite nicely, if I would autograph my latest book, which she intends to buy at the bookstore today.

She then pointed out that she firmly believes I am a good neighbor, she thinks my kids are great, and she would be more than happy to tell that very thing to anyone who might happen to have a reason to ask. Then she hollered at my kids (loudly enough to wake the dead) to get on over to her place for a while, she had plenty of ice cream and their daughter needed "some nice, friendly children to play with."

Then she winked at me and said I was more than welcome to dinner, she would love for me to meet her husband.

Oooh...my oh my, how the tongues will wag now!

S.

The Karmic Kruiser has made its next stop, ladies and gentlemen. On the left you can see the home of the infamous Debbie, and if you squint you might be able to see her peeking from behind her chenille curtains. On the right, those are sheath's kids eating their fourth bowl of ice cream. See the one with the chocolate stain on her nose and the strawberries running down her chin? That's Sheath herself, having a ball.