Dear X

[1tinypixie]

Maybe I will! I'd have to see what the demand for the market would be. Plus I'd have to get a good deal on purchasing fire ants in bulk. Lol

I'm sure you could check craiglist or ebay for fire ants.....

 

[1tinypixie]

Dear X,

How hard is it to close out your account? I sent you an invoice 4 weeks ago....... And a reminder last week, and you said you'd send me the check asap!

Signed,
Still waiting and not happy about it

 

[someoneyouknow]

Dear Weather,

I'm not sure thanks is the word one uses to describe a condition where the temperature is approaching 90 and the humidity is nearly as high, but that's about as close as I can come. Though the day was extremely muggy, the clouds kept the sun at bay while I gave my tour and the brutal temperatures that existed the preceding days were not overly present.

So, um, you know. Thanks.

One weary and wet tour guide



Dear Women of New York,

As I have said in the past, thank you. Though I normally visit when the weather is more conducive to wandering your city, the weather during this trip mandated you wear the most comfortable clothes possible. As such, it was at times difficult to keep my eyes on my planned route and not wander into traffic or stumble over curbs as my eyes tried to lead me astray.

The sundresses, skirts and shorts combined with wedges and sparkly sandals were a sight to behold. It was only with extreme effort that I didn't just stop and stare, mouth agape, as you flowed by. Aside from the history and architecture of the Big Apple, I always know your sense of style will add much enjoyment to my trips.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sincerely,

One who enjoys the eye candy of the Big Apple



Dear Freckle Nosed Cutie on PATH,

You have no idea how hard it was for me not to be creepy and stare at you on our way back to Hoboken. You epitomized the girl-next-door. Every time I looked at the young kid sitting next to you, his mother trying to keep him entertained, I did steal glances at you as you paged through your magazine. And those glances were highly enjoyable.

As to your large, heavy piece of luggage which tried its best to repeatedly fall over as the train flopped about on the tracks, don't worry about it. For one dinner with you I would have gladly carried it on my shoulder to your destination.

Signed,

Not trying to be THAT guy

 

[NorthernPA4U]

Dear New York State,

Thanks. So glad to see you've done at least one thing correctly.

You are OBVIOUSLY not talking about taxes.

 

[Mollie_F]

Dear Mr Delivery Man,

Where is my washing machine? I need to do some laundry, and quickly.

Would be much obliged if you get the fucker here and plumbed in, pronto.

Cheers,

Badly-Lacking-In-Clothes Me.

 

[BradBigBrain]

You are OBVIOUSLY not talking about taxes.

Nope.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear condescending cocky interviewer,

Oh...my resume wasn't up to your high standards. So sorry. Oh and you think I should tailor it towards sales, which I would fucking hate. And you didn't talk to me about one position that you may have for me even though you made me drive an hour to spend 15 minutes with your magnificent self. And I didn't interview with a partner. And you gave me advice that sounded like a total bullshit and also like a huge send-off. And then you wished me luck as I was walking out as if you almost meant it.

Worst.interview.evah

So with such a poor vibe emanating from you....WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BOTHERING MY REFERENCES?????

AND WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID AS TO CALL ME ON MY CELL PHONE ASKING FOR ONE OF THEM????

Jeebus H. Christmas. Why are you in any kind of position to determine someone else's fate? You couldn't carry my jock if you had to perform real work.

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear Sun,

Why must you toy with me so? Just coz I blurted out loud earlier that I wanted to wash the car this afternoon, you had to go and hide behind the clouds right after lunch. Why oh why?

Cheers-a-lot!

Your not pleased sun slut.

 

[WakoJako]

Dear 1st August.

Hurry up, i want this week to be over.

Annoyed Julyist.

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear 1st August.

Hurry up, i want this week to be over.

Annoyed Julyist.

Dear Annoyed Julyist,

Wanna come travel wif meh in my time machine?

Also want it to be August already, 5th of August in fact!

 

[WakoJako]

Dear Annoyed Julyist,

Wanna come travel wif meh in my time machine?

Also want it to be August already, 5th of August in fact!

Dear Time Traveller.

Sounds great, but can we stop off on the 2nd?

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear Time Traveller.

Sounds great, but can we stop off on the 2nd?

Sure! I'm sure I'm able to just drop you off! (Well, push you off really!)

 

[MrEd63]

Dear Trainee

Please show a little enthusiasm for the job and stop thinking in straight lines

Getting miffed Litster

 

[WakoJako]

Sure! I'm sure I'm able to just drop you off! (Well, push you off really!)

Dear Partner in Time Travel.

Do that and ill push you back to 1699

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear Partner in Time Travel.

Do that and ill push you back to 1699

Fine, fine. I'll be nice, THIS time!

 

[Juicybicuriouslady]

Dear 1st August.

Hurry up, i want this week to be over.

Annoyed Julyist.

Dear Annoyed Julyist

Don't wish away Friday, I'm thinking it could be a good one... maybe

From me that needs something good to happen

ps. I don't think I'm the only one that needs a good end to the week.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Partner in Time Travel.

Do that and ill push you back to 1699

Louis C.K. on time travel

 

[AdventuresinDC]

Dear Jane:

God, I miss you.

 

[suit_up_si]

Dear LR (no one on here, those are her initials.)

You once said to me you were a bad person, I told you you weren't but after the way you treated me (after I was nothing but fucking nice to you) I take it all back; you are a bad person, truly fucking awful, I despise myself for wanting you so much.

I hope one day you wake up and realize the way you left things between us was shitty and that you live the rest of your life regretting that decision because unlike that prick you're with I'd never do any of the things he did (and no doubt will do again) to you. The tragedy is I'll never get to tell you any of this, so there you have it you are an awful human being, who has made me a very cynical asshole, who now wonders when he'll be able to trust the female of the species again.

Oh and Bitch/Cunt etc.

 

[tenderlily]

Dear LR (no one on here, those are her initials.)

You once said to me you were a bad person, I told you you weren't but after the way you treated me (after I was nothing but fucking nice to you) I take it all back; you are a bad person, truly fucking awful, I despise myself for wanting you so much.

I hope one day you wake up and realize the way you left things between us was shitty and that you live the rest of your life regretting that decision because unlike that prick you're with I'd never do any of the things he did (and no doubt will do again) to you. The tragedy is I'll never get to tell you any of this, so there you have it you are an awful human being, who has made me a very cynical asshole, who now wonders when he'll be able to trust the female of the species again.

Oh and Bitch/Cunt etc.

Sorry you are hurting...

 

[suit_up_si]

Sorry you are hurting...

Thanks, I know calling a woman c*nt is frowned upon and I do apologize for it but in this case it seemed appropriate.

Bit stupid really I ought to be over this by now but I guess I'm not.

 

[tenderlily]

Thanks, I know calling a woman c*nt is frowned upon and I do apologize for it but in this case it seemed appropriate.

Bit stupid really I ought to be over this by now but I guess I'm not.

For some people, it's the only word that fits.

*sigh* Been there, it does get better eventually.

 

[suit_up_si]

For some people, it's the only word that fits.

*sigh* Been there, it does get better eventually.

I know it does, it's just odd when you think to yourself 'hmmm actually I'm not as past that as I thought'

 

[tenderlily]

I know it does, it's just odd when you think to yourself 'hmmm actually I'm not as past that as I thought'

I know what you mean. You think things are healing up nicely and the stitches get loosened. It's just a process, one that is far too long in my opinion.

 

[suit_up_si]

I know what you mean. You think things are healing up nicely and the stitches get loosened. It's just a process, one that is far too long in my opinion.

I completely agree with you on that.