Dear X

[WhipLuvr]

Dear customers:

Believe it or not, you actually need to GET your bill before you attempt to PAY it. Telling me what you had doesn't work either. Seriously, stop coming up before you've been given your tab. Its fucking annoying.

Sincerely

NOT your server

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Liquor Store Clerk,
I know you were probably being nice when you said you had to check my ID to make sure I was old enough. I know your reaction to my actual age was probably just you trying to make me feel good. It worked. Thank you for making me smile. I needed that.

From,
That woman who is definitely old enough.

LMAO...and he doesn't even work for tips...
Maybe...he just thought you were hot.

 

[kendra1980]

LMAO...and he doesn't even work for tips...
Maybe...he just thought you were hot.

*looks up and says...there he is*

you were missed by me.

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

LMAO...and he doesn't even work for tips...
Maybe...he just thought you were hot.

Doubtful but it still made my day.

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Doctors,

Please take your time and do your best with my grandma. I love and need her.

Thank you

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Dear Doctors,

Please take your time and do your best with my grandma. I love and need her.

Thank you

*HUGS*

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Dear ....

Thanks for reminding me how hot it can be to do cybersex. Fuck, it's been YEARS since I had the pleasure of working out a story in real time, in present tense. It reminded me of the challenges of picking up on little hints and the bigger challenge of running in the direction your partner "needs." Best of all? The little asides you tossed in between brackets [] about what was happening in real life and what you were doing. That was a fun touch and made it much easier to add complimentary things to the story.

Here's the part you don't know - how much I enjoy doing that for a person. To imagine that my words could help someone have a better orgasm is a cool feeling.

The one negative? The way you vanished right after your orgasm, making me think you may have been a dude masquerading as a chick. Oh well, I still had fun.

Me.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear neighbor with the perpetual camel toe,

There are kids everywhere. Please refrain from wearing yoga pants when taking out the trash,or getting the mail. I don't think it is appropriate to have to explain to kids why you have a butt in both the back and the front.

You pussy has eaten so much of those yoga pants I am surprised it doesn't burp every time you get out of your chair. Sure a little camel toe can be hot from time to time but when the front of your pants look like the Scream mask that is a turnoff.

How about mixing in some jeans or at least some thicker panties. Something that will make your pants look less like a vertical McDonalds hamburger. This way the neighborhood parents don't have to continuously tell their kids No Happy Meal today kiddo.

Signed,

Tired of seeing your baby canal

 

[o_so_wet]

Dear neighbor with the perpetual camel toe,

There are kids everywhere. Please refrain from wearing yoga pants when taking out the trash,or getting the mail. I don't think it is appropriate to have to explain to kids why you have a butt in both the back and the front.

You pussy has eaten so much of those yoga pants I am surprised it doesn't burp every time you get out of your chair. Sure a little camel toe can be hot from time to time but when the front of your pants look like the Scream mask that is a turnoff.

How about mixing in some jeans or at least some thicker panties. Something that will make your pants look less like a vertical McDonalds hamburger. This way the neighborhood parents don't have to continuously tell their kids No Happy Meal today kiddo.

Signed,

Tired of seeing your baby canal

Dear Clown Hater....

YOU crack me up !!!!

Licks and Kisses,
OSW

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Dear neighbor with the perpetual camel toe,

There are kids everywhere. Please refrain from wearing yoga pants when taking out the trash,or getting the mail. I don't think it is appropriate to have to explain to kids why you have a butt in both the back and the front.

You pussy has eaten so much of those yoga pants I am surprised it doesn't burp every time you get out of your chair. Sure a little camel toe can be hot from time to time but when the front of your pants look like the Scream mask that is a turnoff.

How about mixing in some jeans or at least some thicker panties. Something that will make your pants look less like a vertical McDonalds hamburger. This way the neighborhood parents don't have to continuously tell their kids No Happy Meal today kiddo.

Signed,

Tired of seeing your baby canal

http://youtu.be/ZBIGwtyqBhA

From radio comedians Bob & Tom - precisely topical for you and I guarantee you'll laugh!

 

[Aquagal]

Dear neighbor with the perpetual camel toe,

There are kids everywhere. Please refrain from wearing yoga pants when taking out the trash,or getting the mail. I don't think it is appropriate to have to explain to kids why you have a butt in both the back and the front.

You pussy has eaten so much of those yoga pants I am surprised it doesn't burp every time you get out of your chair. Sure a little camel toe can be hot from time to time but when the front of your pants look like the Scream mask that is a turnoff.

How about mixing in some jeans or at least some thicker panties. Something that will make your pants look less like a vertical McDonalds hamburger. This way the neighborhood parents don't have to continuously tell their kids No Happy Meal today kiddo.

Signed,

Tired of seeing your baby canal

Like this?

http://egotastic.com/2012/05/mariah...any-a-vienna-sausage-during-austrian-concert/

 

[availableslave2u]

dear darling cat,
why is it that i was sleeping very snug in my bed and i hear you yowling? i get up and you walk around meowing and acting strange. so i sit down, trying to calm you down. now i'm wide awake and you're sleeping. this isn't funny. at all.
signed,
your not amused owner

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear Mom,

I would never tell you this, but I am a little sad you are not here today. I don't want to make you feel guilty, so I said it was all right. But I wish you were here. The friends I have out here are wonderful and they are always there for me- just as they will be today- but they are no substitute for you.

We will take lots of pictures and I will smile and tell you it was okay for you to miss this, but I wish you were here

Your slightly lonely-for-family daughter

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear Anonymous Story Commenter.

Your comments will be deleted before they are read.......

Either own your words or keep them to yourself.........

Signed...

I have never in my life wanted to be anonymous........

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear Newest Angel:

You may be gone but definitely not forgotten. You will live on in our dreams and in our memories. At least now you can watch over your loved ones and laughing at some of the foolish ones for not listening to you.

Missing you on someone else's behalf.

 

[PinupgirlLvr]

Dear critics,

Go find a weaker target. You'll never get to me. I've endured more than you'll ever know.

Signed , Very secure individual.

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear Miss Bendy Williams:

I wish I could come check out your studio and jam with you some time but you just had to be so damn far away didn't you?

One Day, You'll See!

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Keyboarding Drills,

Why oh why must you be so into torture? Please be kind to be me today....or maybe I should be asking my fingers to do that.

Oooh that sounds a little perverted..hmmm.......I wish.

Signed,

Me...the one who is not looking forward to the hours *and yes I mean hours* going to be spent in the computer lab.

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear Miss Bendy Williams:

Must you tease and tantalize me by sending me updates with video clips of your recent conquered challenges through my online subscription? Grrrr.....

Another Day Closer, You'll See!

 

[BigMeanie]

Dear Mod,

Why do you allow some others' naughty pics to remain on display yet delete several of the ones I posted?

Signed,
Confused

 

[Brave Maximus]

Dear Life....

Bugger off.
I've taken about as much abuse from you as I can.
I need a break.
You've actually made me stressed and angry for the first time in a long time....

Sincerely
Me

 

[INeedLove]

Dear Mod,

Why do you allow some others' naughty pics to remain on display yet delete several of the ones I posted?

Signed,
Confused

Dear Confused,
I'm a fan of your pics. Just thought you needed some props!
Signed
A perving gal

 

[BigMeanie]

Dear Confused,
I'm a fan of your pics. Just thought you needed some props!
Signed
A perving gal

Dear perving gal,

Thank you! It's all been explained to me. I most likely will lay off the posting of "good pics" for a while, just to be safe.

Signed,
Befuddled

 

[anons]

Dear Justin,
FUCK ME LIKE THE FUCKING SLUT I AM I WANT YOUR COCK IN MY MOUTH
signed, horny

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear YOU,

Thank you for answering the questions I asked this morning.

Now.....let's go to a place far far away.

Love,

Me.