Dear X

[Sensualdreamer]

Dear STBX...

Today when I was doing some computer updates I came across pictures that you had taken of yourself.

Allow me to give you some helpful tips.

- No matter HOW MUCH you press down on the skin surrounding your little fella the extra vanity inch you think may be there just isn't going to happen!

-Trim the hair, this will effectively deceive the naked eye into thinking the little fella isn't so little

-For the love of all that's erotic, if you're gonna drop your drawers at least make sure that they're not bunched around your ankles like ankle warmers in the picture

-Try making sure the external hardware is actually hard, b/c based on the pics you took that I saw I had to wonder if it wasn't software (btw I *AM* being nice, b/c I could've easily said it looked like a floppy disk....Oh damn I said it, didn't I - oops!)


Me

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Dear STBX...

Today when I was doing some computer updates I came across pictures that you had taken of yourself.

Allow me to give you some helpful tips.

- No matter HOW MUCH you press down on the skin surrounding your little fella the extra vanity inch you think may be there just isn't going to happen!

-Trim the hair, this will effectively deceive the naked eye into thinking the little fella isn't so little

-For the love of all that's erotic, if you're gonna drop your drawers at least make sure that they're not bunched around your ankles like ankle warmers in the picture

-Try making sure the external hardware is actually hard, b/c based on the pics you took that I saw I had to wonder if it wasn't software (btw I *AM* being nice, b/c I could've easily said it looked like a floppy disk....Oh damn I said it, didn't I - oops!)


Me

Maybe you should refer him to the Lit post of how to impress a lady with pics

 

[Sensualdreamer]

Maybe you should refer him to the Lit post of how to impress a lady with pics

Funny enough I did...he just rolled his eyes and asked me if I was an expert now

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Funny enough I did...he just rolled his eyes and asked me if I was an expert now

I say he thinks he is so hot post a pic thread we can tell him what's hot and what's not... *giggles*

 

[Sensualdreamer]

I say he thinks he is so hot post a pic thread we can tell him what's hot and what's not... *giggles*

Ohhhhhh no, no, no! I don't have enough eye bleach for the ladies here

 

[HesterPrynne]

Dear Dudes At The Gym,

Would you PLEASE put the seat down after you use the toilet? It's not any fun falling down that extra two inches onto the bowl. I mean ... Really.

TIA!

Bruised Booty

P.S. it wouldn't kill you to replace the t.p. after you use the last bit either.

 

[papadoc19]

Dear Dudes At The Gym,

Would you PLEASE put the seat down after you use the toilet? It's not any fun falling down that extra two inches onto the bowl. I mean ... Really.

TIA!

Bruised Booty

P.S. it wouldn't kill you to replace the t.p. after you use the last bit either.

Dear Bruised Booty,

How come women never look before they take a seat? Just Saying.

Inquisitive Bear

 

[HesterPrynne]

Dear Inquisitive,

We shouldn't have to look first. It's common courtesy.

Ms. Manners

 

[papadoc19]

Dear Inquisitive,

We shouldn't have to look first. It's common courtesy.

Ms. Manners

Dear Ms. Manners/Bruised Booty,

So you just back in sight unseen? Really?

Do you put the seat up once you are done? Would that not also be a common courtesy?

Inquistive and teasing bear

 

[Maturec]

Dear Life..... how come some people seem born to have nothing but bad luck and to never be happy? It is so sad!

 

[Wings]

Dear Maturec,

Life is what you make it. If people choose to only dwell on the negative and ignore whatever positive has been given to them then they alone are responsible for their actions and reactions.

Please stop blaming me,
Life

 

[HesterPrynne]

Dear Teasing Bear,

You're a goofball.

Bruised but Giggling.

 

[Maturec]

Dear Winged. The query was in no way shape or form about me! The plight of a former lover on life support moved me to ask the question! I ,on the other hand, am one of the lucky ones! I don't however agree that it is as simple as your facile reply. Sorry.

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear STBX...

Today when I was doing some computer updates I came across pictures that you had taken of yourself.

Allow me to give you some helpful tips.

- No matter HOW MUCH you press down on the skin surrounding your little fella the extra vanity inch you think may be there just isn't going to happen!

-Trim the hair, this will effectively deceive the naked eye into thinking the little fella isn't so little

-For the love of all that's erotic, if you're gonna drop your drawers at least make sure that they're not bunched around your ankles like ankle warmers in the picture

-Try making sure the external hardware is actually hard, b/c based on the pics you took that I saw I had to wonder if it wasn't software (btw I *AM* being nice, b/c I could've easily said it looked like a floppy disk....Oh damn I said it, didn't I - oops!)


Me

SD, this is freakin' fantastic! The last guy I dated sent me some less-than-ideal pics, also swearing that there was another two inches to his cock, but it was hindered by his belly fat Just hilarious!

 

[efs]

dear myself....

please remind myself (me) to never send cock photos to the women on lit. they are brutal, and with my unit being of "less than ideal size" id rather not be embarassed by the rhetoric which ensues after pissing one of them off........

me

 

[MrsMellowCake]

Dear A,

keep your head, alright?

xxx

 

[Sensualdreamer]

SD, this is freakin' fantastic! The last guy I dated sent me some less-than-ideal pics, also swearing that there was another two inches to his cock, but it was hindered by his belly fat Just hilarious!

I'm glad you were amused

dear myself....

please remind myself (me) to never send cock photos to the women on lit. they are brutal, and with my unit being of "less than ideal size" id rather not be embarassed by the rhetoric which ensues after pissing one of them off........

me

I'm not brutal. I'm honest, and I would never say something vicious b/c a person may piss me off. That wasn't me being brutal either

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear kid at Chucky Cheese,

I really had thought I have seen it all until you happened to shoving into my view at a birthday party on Sunday. Now I will be honest I was bored an sorta annoyed by the lights, sounds and crazy activity that was happening all around me while pretending to enjoy my friends little girls 3 year old birthday party.

Now I know that I am not supposed to laugh. I am not supposed to wish I had the foresight to grab my phone and take pictures, but when you decided to do something I thought I would never see I was just stunned. Frozen in place and missed the opportunity of a lifetime. I doubt Americas Funniest Home videos would have accepted the video footage had I gotten it but if they had you would have won be 100k easily.

Now you looked to be around 5 or 6 so I know you knew what you were doing but my question is what possessed you to do so? Did you not get enough birthday cake? Are your parents making you take piano lessons? Are you not hugged enough? Even if all 3 of those are true I still can't fathom why you did it

To think it out. Look around and stand up onto the ski ball machine I thought would be enough of an attention grabber. Hell it got my attention. When you turned around and your hands were poised on the waistband of your pants I figured you were joking and at the very most might pull them down and moon someone. Oh no you took it 100x's further.

I had a Birdseye view of you pulling your pants off very quickly, popping a squat, and growing a tail right before my eyes as well as a bunch of parents and kids who were screaming at you. Was I screaming? Hel no. Who am I to stop you from making your parents proud?

Hell that ski ball game is a ripoff anyway so I applaud you for doing something I wish I had the balls to do. I am sure everyone has wanted to take a shit on a carnival game for taking all of our money and you young man stepped up to the plate and dropped your tokens all over the face of it.

Never mind the freaked out parents and kids you have scarred for life. Fuck them. You took matters into your own hands, spread those 5 year old cheeks and told Chucky Cheese to go fuck himself.

Now I can understand why your mom was almost in tears. That is pretty traumatic and highly embarrassing for her to have to ensure. She will for now on always be te mom of the kid who took a shit on a Chucky Cheese ski ball machine. Tell you what, go to Walmart with your dad if he hasn't disowned you yet, and buy her some flowers. That will ease her tensions just a little bit.

Good luck my young little hero. You made a nightmarish birthday party turn into one of the happiest moments my eyes have ever seen.

 

[efs]

you, dear sir, win the story of the day award!

just dont send him to wal mart to buy flowers, let him put down a nice steamer on ronald mcdonalds counter to make it into the people of wal marts website photos. would be classic.

Dear kid at Chucky Cheese,

I really had thought I have seen it all until you happened to shoving into my view at a birthday party on Sunday. Now I will be honest I was bored an sorta annoyed by the lights, sounds and crazy activity that was happening all around me while pretending to enjoy my friends little girls 3 year old birthday party.

Now I know that I am not supposed to laugh. I am not supposed to wish I had the foresight to grab my phone and take pictures, but when you decided to do something I thought I would never see I was just stunned. Frozen in place and missed the opportunity of a lifetime. I doubt Americas Funniest Home videos would have accepted the video footage had I gotten it but if they had you would have won be 100k easily.

Now you looked to be around 5 or 6 so I know you knew what you were doing but my question is what possessed you to do so? Did you not get enough birthday cake? Are your parents making you take piano lessons? Are you not hugged enough? Even if all 3 of those are true I still can't fathom why you did it

To think it out. Look around and stand up onto the ski ball machine I thought would be enough of an attention grabber. Hell it got my attention. When you turned around and your hands were poised on the waistband of your pants I figured you were joking and at the very most might pull them down and moon someone. Oh no you took it 100x's further.

I had a Birdseye view of you pulling your pants off very quickly, popping a squat, and growing a tail right before my eyes as well as a bunch of parents and kids who were screaming at you. Was I screaming? Hel no. Who am I to stop you from making your parents proud?

Hell that ski ball game is a ripoff anyway so I applaud you for doing something I wish I had the balls to do. I am sure everyone has wanted to take a shit on a carnival game for taking all of our money and you young man stepped up to the plate and dropped your tokens all over the face of it.

Never mind the freaked out parents and kids you have scarred for life. Fuck them. You took matters into your own hands, spread those 5 year old cheeks and told Chucky Cheese to go fuck himself.

Now I can understand why your mom was almost in tears. That is pretty traumatic and highly embarrassing for her to have to ensure. She will for now on always be te mom of the kid who took a shit on a Chucky Cheese ski ball machine. Tell you what, go to Walmart with your dad if he hasn't disowned you yet, and buy her some flowers. That will ease her tensions just a little bit.

Good luck my young little hero. You made a nightmarish birthday party turn into one of the happiest moments my eyes have ever seen.

 

[Zoe_A_2222]

Dear Blattering Colleague,

Shut the fuck up.

Me, the one who has lost the ability to drown you out.

 

[Callmetim]

Dear X,

You brought this upon yourself. All the mind games, tactical control and abuse was not anyone else's doing but your own. Reap what you sow, for you have sown too much to possibly bear. I feel a bit sorry for you for the pain this is going to have. You will lash out and fight, but you know how this will end. It is that look I am going to see ... when it finally dawns on you what is happening ... the "I've lost it all" face. Maybe you will, maybe won't. Maybe you will excuse, blame, disassociate it all. It matters not.

Here's to the beginning of the end. I pray you will find help for your anger and rage so that it effects no one else. The door is there. Pass through it an exit as you have threatened to do before; this is the one threat I hope you finally do make good on.

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear kid at Chucky Cheese...

Love. I mean, I'd have spanked this kid till he couldn't sit down comfortably for a few days. And I wouldn't take him anywhere for a year. And he'd have cleaned up his own shit.

But still. The kid's got moxy.

 

[efs]

Love. I mean, I'd have spanked this kid till he couldn't sit down comfortably for a few days. And I wouldn't take him anywhere for a year. And he'd have cleaned up his own shit.

But still. The kid's got moxy.

id still have taken him to wal mart to put one down on the mcdonalds counter.......

 

[MollyDolly]

id still have taken him to wal mart to put one down on the mcdonalds counter.......

Until you work with a kid who takes upper deckers and you don't discover it until you start smelling something funny in the washroom

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Dear kid at Chucky Cheese,

I'll admit, I laughed my ass off as I read this and I agree - it's the story of the day/week/month/year-to-date. I don't doubt a word of it, either. Still, I just can't wrap my head around what was going on in that kid's mind! Maybe he thought that would be a good spot because no one was walking there. Or maybe he saw the circles of the Skeeball and it reminded him of toilet. But mostly, it makes me wonder what kind of fucktard parents the kid must have to miss better home training than that!