Depression. It's a silent killer.

[LoveNotes4U]

I stopped drinking when I began treatment for cancer. I’ve been sober for 415 days, and I come from a history of heavy alcoholism. Since I started on escitalopram, the antidepressant, my head feels strange and I’ve been hit with strong cravings for alcohol again. It makes me restless, and I find it really hard that the urge has come back this strongly. I’m trying to write it out and remind myself that I just need to push through, that this is part of the process right now. But at the moment it honestly feels like I’m climbing walls...

Sobriety is everything! Please call your doctor and get something else. It's very normal to try a few different antidepressants before finding the one that works for you. ((Hugs))

 

[Nightaelf]

Sobriety is everything! Please call your doctor and get something else. It's very normal to try a few different antidepressants before finding the one that works for you. ((Hugs))

Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately, I can’t take any other medication for now because of my cancer treatment. But I knew the first two weeks could be difficult. My brain just needs time to adjust. It simply helps to let people know every now and then when things aren’t going so well. But I made it through the night, and I don’t have any alcohol at home. Today I already feel a little better.

 

[LoveNotes4U]

Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately, I can’t take any other medication for now because of my cancer treatment. But I knew the first two weeks could be difficult. My brain just needs time to adjust. It simply helps to let people know every now and then when things aren’t going so well. But I made it through the night, and I don’t have any alcohol at home. Today I already feel a little better.

I'm glad your provider informed you of the 'adjustment period', so many of them don't seem to.
My husband was sober; I know about getting through the today, this hour, the next minute. Feel free to pm me for encouragement or getting through the next minute, hour, day.

 

[Wetkitty09]

I’m so happy to see people stepping up and being supportive here. Thank you.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Nightaelf]

I'm glad your provider informed you of the 'adjustment period', so many of them don't seem to.
My husband was sober; I know about getting through the today, this hour, the next minute. Feel free to pm me for encouragement or getting through the next minute, hour, day. I'm new to the forum (I have an older account also--too identifiable for posting) and I'm often awake in overnight. GMT -5.

Thank you! I keep that in mind.

 

[Nightaelf]

I’m so happy to see people stepping up and being supportive here. Thank you.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

Yes, it warms my heart....

 

[Wonderer67]

I stopped drinking when I began treatment for cancer. I’ve been sober for 415 days, and I come from a history of heavy alcoholism. Since I started on escitalopram, the antidepressant, my head feels strange and I’ve been hit with strong cravings for alcohol again. It makes me restless, and I find it really hard that the urge has come back this strongly. I’m trying to write it out and remind myself that I just need to push through, that this is part of the process right now. But at the moment it honestly feels like I’m climbing walls...

Keep on going nightaelf.

I’m sorry your meds are messing w your sobriety. If you need help - let us know.

Keep at it.

 

[Nightaelf]

I'm glad your provider informed you of the 'adjustment period', so many of them don't seem to.
My husband was sober; I know about getting through the today, this hour, the next minute. Feel free to pm me for encouragement or getting through the next minute, hour, day. I'm new to the forum (I have an older account also--too identifiable for posting) and I'm often awake in overnight. GMT -5.

418 days sober
saved € 2687,41 ($2956)
Didn't drink 4778 drinks
Didn't drink 597 L (158 gallons)

 

[Glamguy7]

Depression!! The quiet epidemic that eats one slowly from within leaving no traces of its destruction. I sometimes feel that most people are not even aware that they are "Depressed". I went through it for 3-5 years, after the breakdown of a deep loving relationship I was in. Days and nights would whizz of like crazy, what felt like days, turned into months and years passed by! Self criticism and mistaken guilt can eat away the soul like termites do to wood. It was not until I turned 41, that sanity set in & realization dawned on me. By the Grace of God & Kudos to the genuine care and love I received from some very special souls I met here on LIT, I was raised from the deep pit of darkness to a place of self acceptance, self love and caring. I received warmth, the nurturing embrace of caring words and genuine emotions, and even the joys of sensual love without which the simple joys of life might have been lost. In that journey I also realized that "Loneliness" is the worst of it all. Without genuine human connections, humanity would be lost! The world we live in today might be seeped in all the comforts of life,& Technology to boot it all but the "humane spark" is what truly brings light to a thousand hearts. To all those who are silent bearers of the flame of genuine company & caring, I bow to thee. It is beautiful when the community comes together to support each other beyond boundaries and creed. May this post light a flame in the heart of anybody out there, who feels lonely or is passing through anguish. You are not alone!! You matter. You only have to reach out and express it out. Help comes from unknown sources. Kindness exists. Love exists. Hope exists. I have walked that path and know that there is light at the other side of the tunnel. I can give you company, even for a brief time, just don't bow out or yield yet!!!

 

[razor33a]

Doing some Swedish Death Cleaning. Sister clued me in, didn't know it was a thing.

 

[KarlWolf6]

You have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.

Totally agree, pocketshaver doesn't have a clue. Depression often lingers in the deepest recesses of your mind, waiting for one of your bad days, then makes an appearance. Having depression is totally different to feeling depressed.

 

[KarlWolf6]

I was diagnosed with PDD with disthymia some 14 months ago following therapy and it's shocking to realise I've been dealing with this for 24 years now.

Having the diagnosis is a major help - along with the ongoing therapy - as for awhile I thought I'd completely lost my mind.

Depression is a bastard - don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know therapy (CBT and IPT) aren't the way for some folks but it worked for me.

Stay strong mate. Been there!

 

[Nightaelf]

people make to much from depression. Always make it some kind of mental thing that's incurable.

Quite often it comes from very basic things. Cant remember what psychologist said we all have basic needs that need to be meant so we can be happy.


Its obvious that certain basic needs aren't being met for you.

I get that you want to make it sound simple, but depression is not simple. It goes way beyond basic needs. I’ve been through it myself, and I can tell you it feels like your own brain is working against you. It’s an illness, not just a checklist that doesn’t line up.

Comments like yours don’t really help, especially not in a thread where people are opening up about their depression. If you don’t have anything meaningful to add, it’s okay to just not comment.

Sure, unmet needs can play a role, but that doesn’t make depression any less real or any less heavy. If you want to bring it up, it would help if you actually gave a source so people can look it up. The way you wrote it now just sounds like a very short, out-of-context version of what Abraham Maslow explained. His idea was that you need to meet the lower levels of the (Maslow) pyramid before you can get to the higher ones.

 

[Nightaelf]

Doing some Swedish Death Cleaning. Sister clued me in, didn't know it was a thing.

Thanks for this!

 

[razor33a]

Thanks for this!

The darkly funny thing is I'm in a pretty bad nosedive. She has no clue so it would be one of those nervous "yah, I'm um doing that, that's it" laughs if she was here. Don't know what the weekend will bring, getting to "shit or get off the pot" time.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Lit is not the best therapy nor can you find dependable free therapist willing to devote their days and nights to keeping you from your dark side.

 

[Nightaelf]

Lit is not the best therapy nor can you find dependable free therapist willing to devote their days and nights to keeping you from your dark side.

Interesting comment, but I am not sure who it is directed at, since you did not quote anyone. Is it meant for everyone who has shared in this thread?

Also, I do not really see why this has to be framed as if people here are looking for ‘free therapists.’ What I read are people exchanging experiences, supporting each other, and often alongside the fact that most already are in therapy.

It gives me the feeling that you overlook the obvious: the majority of people here are thoughtful, capable adults who happen to struggle with a mental illness or a difficult period in life. Sharing and listening to each other does not replace professional help, but it can be valuable in its own right.

 

[Nightaelf]

The darkly funny thing is I'm in a pretty bad nosedive. She has no clue so it would be one of those nervous "yah, I'm um doing that, that's it" laughs if she was here. Don't know what the weekend will bring, getting to "shit or get off the pot" time.

The best way is just to start with a drawer or a little cabinet. Every beginning is hard, but that’s true for almost everything. And if you find out it’s not for you, at least you can honestly say you gave it a try. After that, you can just stay happily on your own pot...

 

[Wetkitty09]

Lit is not the best therapy nor can you find dependable free therapist willing to devote their days and nights to keeping you from your dark side.

While it may be true that there’s few therapists on Lit there is a community of people who care and are willing to listen. Sometimes that is enough to get a person through the dark to find the help they need, whether it’s a therapist or drugs.
I have found in my battle with depression that often just having someone willing to be there for me gives me the strength to keep going and use the tools, that I often forget that I have, to get through.
This is a powerful resource that has helped others in the past and should be recognized as such.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Wetkitty09]

I’m moved to the new place and spent the evening enjoying the peace of this new beginning.
Sometimes the decisions we make to take care of ourselves are the scariest.

Be safe out there.
Love you

 

[Bassytian]

It's been a while; I've been away focusing on off-site endeavors.

An update: I'm finally on an antidepressant that is helping! Last week, I felt a heavy weight lift from my mind and body. I had held onto this weight for so long that I didn't realize it was there until it was gone! The next day, I noticed that my body moved faster and more fluidly, it was almost like I became younger! Not drastically, mind you, but I stopped feeling like I was older than I actually am. The therapist said that having depression is like trying to walk through peanut butter (thanks for ruining peanut butter for me, doc...), so this feeling is a great sign!

I realize that your results may vary, but please don't give up if you are fighting this shit! Find a doctor and ask about GeneSight. It will help narrow down the many medications out there to help find what will work for you. And don't forget talk therapy, meds alone help but they can only do so much.

And, I've read some of the earlier comments, THIS thread is a great place to reach out to find someone to talk to!!

 

[Wetkitty09]

It's been a while; I've been away focusing on off-site endeavors.

An update: I'm finally on an antidepressant that is helping! Last week, I felt a heavy weight lift from my mind and body. I had held onto this weight for so long that I didn't realize it was there until it was gone! The next day, I noticed that my body moved faster and more fluidly, it was almost like I became younger! Not drastically, mind you, but I stopped feeling like I was older than I actually am. The therapist said that having depression is like trying to walk through peanut butter (thanks for ruining peanut butter for me, doc...), so this feeling is a great sign!

I realize that your results may vary, but please don't give up if you are fighting this shit! Find a doctor and ask about GeneSight. It will help narrow down the many medications out there to help find what will work for you. And don't forget talk therapy, meds alone help but they can only do so much.

And, I've read some of the earlier comments, THIS thread is a great place to reach out to find someone to talk to!!

Hello Bass. So good to see you here. I’m so happy you found a fit for the meds.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. I know the feeling when weight lifts. Moving to my own space has done that for me.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[kyblue12]

Interesting comment, but I am not sure who it is directed at, since you did not quote anyone. Is it meant for everyone who has shared in this thread?

Also, I do not really see why this has to be framed as if people here are looking for ‘free therapists.’ What I read are people exchanging experiences, supporting each other, and often alongside the fact that most already are in therapy.

It gives me the feeling that you overlook the obvious: the majority of people here are thoughtful, capable adults who happen to struggle with a mental illness or a difficult period in life. Sharing and listening to each other does not replace professional help, but it can be valuable in its own right.

I think for a lot of the people who stop by to see what this thread is it gets uncomfortable fast to see us with out the mask so many of us show the everyday world. I understand for many of them they don't have a great frame of reference for trying to understand whats happening, but I think all that is actually right here in the posts and in just talking to us.

Its got to be kinda scary though when you've thought "Oh, they're just sad. They can fix that by doing X, Y, and Z.", then arriving here and finding out we all spend varying amounts of time essentially under siege from our own brains and brain chemistry. For some they will keep trying to shove us into the just fix it box. Others will read and discuss and learn that we are all an amazingly strong lot. We, more often than not, fight the fight that lets us get up in the morning and be a part of the world. We find ways to cope (hopefully healthy, but too often not) when we can't make that fight. We hope that life will let us learn to use any resource we can, therapy.... meds..... this thread... to help us in that fight.

I don't often post in this thread, but I do check in from time to time. Everyone here has helped me in bad times just by being in this thread and sharing.

 

[sister jenny]

September is Suicide Prevention Month.
If you are struggling know that help is available.

I know from personal experience and several failed attempts that a lot of times all you need is someone that listens.
You don’t want answers or solutions, just someone who is there, that listens, that takes you serious.

Of course it’s a lot more than than that, and not so simple. But its a start.

Please be there for someone.
Listen.

And please ask for help if you need it.