Discreet Bi Women...

[Minouners]

And what's wrong with that???? LOL

Seriously, how many lives do you think you'll live?
It's so hard having to re-frame all the dreams you had growing up about kids, marriage, where you'll be in the scheme of things, fitting into society's mould of how you SHOULD be. I hear you. Just don't be afraid of going after your happiness. No one else can make you happy. And if you feel floaty and giddy and beautiful with the woman next to you, what is wrong with that? It's just the truth, and nothing is more sacred than that.

xx

Nothing wrong with that at all. I guess it's just one of those complicating moments in my life but with time I think I'll be able to figure it all out. For now I'm just enjoying the ride. Being bi-sexual is good enough for me! I can't think of any other way to live life! hehehe

 

[Peg_Bundy]

when i said discreet, i meant that i wasnt planning on telling family or some of my friends about it. my husband knows that i am bi and he fully supports it. and we have had many talks about it and i have told him that i respect him too much to go behind his back to sleep with a woman. if i do anything with a woman, a kiss or otherwise, it is around him and only if he has given his permission to me. i just wont start making out with some chick when he is in bed asleep or in the other room and have him walk in and say "oh well you know that i am bi so what is the problem?!" that is just not me. i love him way too much to ruin what we have.... he is my everything. so i would never ever cheat on my hubby...

ditto!

 

[aussie_ella]

Nothing wrong with that at all. I guess it's just one of those complicating moments in my life but with time I think I'll be able to figure it all out. For now I'm just enjoying the ride. Being bi-sexual is good enough for me! I can't think of any other way to live life! hehehe

I completely agree....I love women (I guess that makes me biamorous - a distinction I also really like!), but I also like sex with a man on occasion, so I guess I don't fit any decent label *G*

All aboard The Ride! *grins*

xx

 

[Macy02]

Just dropping in

Hi all....just dropping in to say hello. Hope everyone is doing well.
Macy

 

[CrimsonKisser4]

Echos my situation almost exactly!

Welcome Suzie.

Though I haven't had the experience (yet) I am curious....but you know, I don't really consider myself bi-sexual. My preference is definitely MEN - though because of my curiousity I would welcome a chance to be with a woman. It's complicated I guess.

Anyway my dh and I have been talking more and he is trying to be understanding-though I don't think he really understands my desire to experience "everything" (at least once). The good news is I don't think anything really freaks him out any more-he just wonders how he managed to marry such a "kinky" (his word) woman. I don't think I'm that off the wall -especially after what I've seen online, but I suppose plain old vanilla would not describe me.

Well everyone have a great day.
Macy

Hi everyone!
I'm brand-spanking new here and I'm trying to be more of a reader than a poster... at least until I understand what's going on But I just wanted to chime in and say that your post, Macy, sounds just like something I would write!! I'm very curious and I also have a preference for men... but then that might just be due to lack of experience My dh listens to me but I don't think he truly understands my situation.... even though he tries I'm not so sure he knew what he was getting into when he married me LOL!

CK4~

 

[Macy02]

hi everyone

Hi everyone!
I'm brand-spanking new here and I'm trying to be more of a reader than a poster... at least until I understand what's going on But I just wanted to chime in and say that your post, Macy, sounds just like something I would write!! I'm very curious and I also have a preference for men... but then that might just be due to lack of experience My dh listens to me but I don't think he truly understands my situation.... even though he tries I'm not so sure he knew what he was getting into when he married me LOL!

CK4~

Welcome aboard.

My husband tries to understand, he really is a good man. But sometimes I don't even understand....who knows.

Anyway this is a good place to feel comfortable talking with others. So jump in anytime. It's been quiet around here for a while but maybe that will pick up after the holidays.
Macy

 

[SassySuzie]

Welcome aboard.

My husband tries to understand, he really is a good man. But sometimes I don't even understand....who knows.

Anyway this is a good place to feel comfortable talking with others. So jump in anytime. It's been quiet around here for a while but maybe that will pick up after the holidays.
Macy

Hi Macy....hope all is well with you. Thought I'd give the thread a little bump.

 

[jackie_75032]

Hi

Just wanted to say hi im a 30 yr old Bi female from Pennsylvania

 

[Macy02]

Evening everyone

Thanks Suzie, everything is good, been busy with holidays and catching up on work, but good.

I hope EVERYONE had a great holiday. Welcome to the newest posters on our little thread. Please feel free to jump in anytime- start some new discussion.

I'm working on a picture for my avatar hopefully will have it done soon.

Still wondering how to go about making my fantasy happen. Details....details.
Macy

 

[aussie_ella]

Hi all

Hi girls,

Just wanted to drop in message and talk about my life. Which I'm sure is completely uninteresting to you guys, but hey, it makes me feel better and hopefully you can offer some advice, especially coming from the perspective of the woman in a straight committed relationship!

I've been bi I suppose for a long time. My first proper relationship was with a straight woman who was engaged to be married when we met, and we were each other's first lesbian experience. We were madly in love for 18 months but finally the real world caught up with her and she decided to go back to being with men. She was married a couple of years later and now has a couple of kids.

So, since then, I've only been with straight women. Or at least, women who have very limited or no experience with women, and invariably they want to go back to men, mainly I think because it's simply easier.

So. I'm wondering what goes on in the mind of a straight married woman who finds herself attracted to women. And is it just about the sex? Or is there an attraction to that popular idea that two women have close, emotional sex, much more than a woman can have with a man without being in love.

Please tell me what you think. I understood as soon as I feel in love with my first girlfriend that this was who I was and I knew that I would come out to whoever I needed to, and not live the lie. Why is it that I had that reaction, and so many don't? Anyone wanting to share their thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Just as a last thought, I look straight (guys usually don't believe that I'm into women when I tell them), and live a fairly discrete lifestyle. I'm not butch, don't hate men, and don't live in a share house full of dykes and dogs. So, I would never expect a woman in a relationship with me to change anything about herself except being with me....maybe I'm seeing it too black and white!

 

[sexywench1961]

Aussie, here are my 2 cents

Although I would enjoy being with and having a relationship with another woman, I also love my husband very much, so I would not consider leaving him or choosing to live my life strictly with a woman. Why? I really don't know. I don't think it's about the sex, I think it's about being with someone who is like me, understand me, because she's also a woman, so it's a different connection. That's that make sense? There's an actress who was straight and started dating and then living for many years with her lesbian lover. After a few years, the relationship dissolved and she left her for a man. She says she fell in love with the person, not the person's sexual preference. I think we feel attracted to other people for many reasons and again, I don't think it's about the sex.

 

[Macy02]

Although I would enjoy being with and having a relationship with another woman, I also love my husband very much, so I would not consider leaving him or choosing to live my life strictly with a woman. Why? I really don't know. I don't think it's about the sex, I think it's about being with someone who is like me, understand me, because she's also a woman, so it's a different connection. That's that make sense? There's an actress who was straight and started dating and then living for many years with her lesbian lover. After a few years, the relationship dissolved and she left her for a man. She says she fell in love with the person, not the person's sexual preference. I think we feel attracted to other people for many reasons and again, I don't think it's about the sex.

I agree with you sexywench, but I'd add this. I would imagine when it comes to the sex another woman is going to be more in tune with me...because we are both woman. Now that is not saying my husband or a man cant be or isn't, just that there is some connection by the fact that we share our "womanness". I don't know if that makes sense. I haven't had the chance to be with a woman, yet....so I'm not sure if my theory has any validity.

P.S. Aussie ella....we are absolutely glad you posted. Personally I need all the insight I can get while I try to understand my own feelings. And we're all here to share...so thanks for stepping up to the plate.

 

[Minouners]

Hi girls,

Just wanted to drop in message and talk about my life. Which I'm sure is completely uninteresting to you guys, but hey, it makes me feel better and hopefully you can offer some advice, especially coming from the perspective of the woman in a straight committed relationship!

I've been bi I suppose for a long time. My first proper relationship was with a straight woman who was engaged to be married when we met, and we were each other's first lesbian experience. We were madly in love for 18 months but finally the real world caught up with her and she decided to go back to being with men. She was married a couple of years later and now has a couple of kids.

So, since then, I've only been with straight women. Or at least, women who have very limited or no experience with women, and invariably they want to go back to men, mainly I think because it's simply easier.

So. I'm wondering what goes on in the mind of a straight married woman who finds herself attracted to women. And is it just about the sex? Or is there an attraction to that popular idea that two women have close, emotional sex, much more than a woman can have with a man without being in love.

Please tell me what you think. I understood as soon as I feel in love with my first girlfriend that this was who I was and I knew that I would come out to whoever I needed to, and not live the lie. Why is it that I had that reaction, and so many don't? Anyone wanting to share their thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Just as a last thought, I look straight (guys usually don't believe that I'm into women when I tell them), and live a fairly discrete lifestyle. I'm not butch, don't hate men, and don't live in a share house full of dykes and dogs. So, I would never expect a woman in a relationship with me to change anything about herself except being with me....maybe I'm seeing it too black and white!

Hi Aussie

To start, I hope that you can stop thinking that your life is uninteresting to us. We are here to help each other out and be supportive. Chin up girl!

To try to give my point of view on your situation, (or opinion) I think that you might want to try to start dating other bisexual or lesbian people. The reason I'm saying this is so you don't have to end up in heartache every time.

Being bisexual and liking both men and women, I might not be the best person to give my opinion on this but I think that the straight women you have been with are just scared of what society will think of them. I am sure they were head over heals for you but they weren't completely yours to begin with. There was always that thought in the back of their mind saying, this isn't right, you should be with a man and not a woman.

Now, depending on your partners it could have been a completely sexual thing or it could of been the opposite. I know a lot of woman seek another woman because they get fed up with men and their bullshit ways. For example, women understand women a lot better then men do and women are usually more sensitive towards there partner.

Oh and to add, I also look straight and have a very hard time connecting with other women. But that might just come with practice. I hope that I've shed a little bit of light to your situation. If not, please feel free to ask questions and I'll try to understand better!

Bottom line, life is complicated but you have a choice, sit back and scratch your head or show it who's boss by grabbing it by the horns! Yeehaw

 

[Macy02]

yep

Minouners, You made me laugh!!!! I like your style.

The problem for me is probably fear more than anything...what am I afraid of - nothing and everything. That said, I am not looking for a "relationship" per se, but I don't know what/how to go about finding what I want. I debate the issues (friend vs stranger, safety, discretion, etc) with my self all the time but it always comes back to how do I find another woman who might be willing to indulge me.

hmmmm
Macy

 

[SassySuzie]

Minouners, You made me laugh!!!! I like your style.

The problem for me is probably fear more than anything...what am I afraid of - nothing and everything. That said, I am not looking for a "relationship" per se, but I don't know what/how to go about finding what I want. I debate the issues (friend vs stranger, safety, discretion, etc) with my self all the time but it always comes back to how do I find another woman who might be willing to indulge me.

hmmmm
Macy

Yes, I think it's difficult to do that when you have no real idea where to start. My experience was in the form of a FFM threesome, and I think that it's probably even harder to find a second female who wants to play in that way. We spent a great deal of time on the Internet and at the time, there seemed to be plenty of women who were interest in me, but not with the idea of the threesome.

Although I have a bi-twinkle, I don't really think I can be considered bi-sexual. But, that said, I have had the experience and it was lovely and I'm happy to have had it. Being single for the past two years I've done a lot of Internet dating...of men...and really love it. I have met people I would never have met in my everyday life. I can't imagine that it would be that much different whether you're looking for a woman or a man. I've also met some really interesting people right here in Lit Land, and if they were closer, would have no qualms about meeting in the real world as long as I felt comfortable with them.

 

[Minouners]

Minouners, You made me laugh!!!! I like your style.

The problem for me is probably fear more than anything...what am I afraid of - nothing and everything. That said, I am not looking for a "relationship" per se, but I don't know what/how to go about finding what I want. I debate the issues (friend vs stranger, safety, discretion, etc) with my self all the time but it always comes back to how do I find another woman who might be willing to indulge me.

hmmmm
Macy

Thanks for the compliment sweety!

May I ask what you mean by indulging you? Because that can mean soooo many things!

 

[Macy02]

indulging....

Thanks for the compliment sweety!

May I ask what you mean by indulging you? Because that can mean soooo many things!

It means all the many things you can think of but mostly someone who is willing to take time to get to know me, answer my questions, help me understand things and understands that the most we could ever share is a friendship possibly with "benefits"(ie is willing to help me explore the fantasies-with no strings). Am I asking for too much?

Macy

 

[Minouners]

It means all the many things you can think of but mostly someone who is willing to take time to get to know me, answer my questions, help me understand things and understands that the most we could ever share is a friendship possibly with "benefits"(ie is willing to help me explore the fantasies-with no strings). Am I asking for too much?

Macy

Well then, in my opinion, I don't think you're asking for too much at all. If you are honest and upfront to the person from the beginning there should be no confusion and if the person decides to start having feelings aka "strings" then you should ask them nicely to move on before it gets too serious.

If I weren't involved with a man I think I would do the exact same thing. Somedays it would be nice to do it but it wouldn't be fair to my partner. For now, I can only fantasize and dream... sigh.

Actually, just by saying that, I just thought of something. What if you found someone that was already committed? Would that not be something you would prefer? (not to hurt the partner of the other but just so this way you know there could be no strings)... just a thought...

 

[Macy02]

you have a point...

Well then, in my opinion, I don't think you're asking for too much at all. If you are honest and upfront to the person from the beginning there should be no confusion and if the person decides to start having feelings aka "strings" then you should ask them nicely to move on before it gets too serious.

If I weren't involved with a man I think I would do the exact same thing. Somedays it would be nice to do it but it wouldn't be fair to my partner. For now, I can only fantasize and dream... sigh.

Actually, just by saying that, I just thought of something. What if you found someone that was already committed? Would that not be something you would prefer? (not to hurt the partner of the other but just so this way you know there could be no strings)... just a thought...

Actually...yes I would love to find another married/committed woman to be friends with and (possibly )"play' with....it seems like such a person might be even more understanding of my situation.

 

[Gillian_Erzebet]

::waves::

Hello all! I am a bisexual female. Just wanted to introduce myself! I would be happy to chat and share my life lessons with all! I have had relationships with both men and women, but I feel now that I don't really want to have a serious relationship with a woman again. Friendship and sex is great, but I deal better with men actually in a relationship, if that makes any sense. Good to meet everyone!

 

[aussie_ella]

Ok, Hang on a minute!

First up, this is very cool. Being able to talk about how the whole 'bi-curious' thing works is fantastic.

But. It is very apparent from your posts that you have never actually done this, that is, sex with a woman, and I think you may be totally underestimating the emotional connection two women have in bed. It's nothing like sex with men (trust me, lots of experience with both), even with a woman you've only just met. It's MUCH more intimate (think of going down on another woman for starters), and there is no way you could both come out unscathed.

What I'm trying to say is, it's all very well saying "if I'm clear from the start I don't want any strings then it's her problem if she develops feelings for me". But I think that's an incredibly detached, cold and selfish way of approaching it. Using a woman for sex is traditionally the domain of men, and I think it's dangerous territory for women, who frankly should be more compassionate, to get into. Sure, I've met a few lesbians out there who fuck around, but they're not happy and easily develop crushes too.

I think the idea of two married/hetero-committed women to get together is great. At least then there's not as much danger of one of them falling in love and finding themselves willing to live in a gay relationship, with all that entails, while the other is firmly in the closet. The closet is a very strong little box, and for those of us who've broken free, it's impossible to go back in. I don't think you can have your cake and eat it too.

Anyway. Rant over. When it comes down to it, finding a sexy, femme, not-too-fucked-up lesbian is nigh on impossible!!! So sometimes we have to look outside the square and grab the straight, weak ones. LOL Great for the ego....for a while at least!

 

[Never]

As a lesbian, I resent that remark... even if I find it truthful.

 

[Minouners]

Actually...yes I would love to find another married/committed woman to be friends with and (possibly )"play' with....it seems like such a person might be even more understanding of my situation.

I do hope that you can get what you want! I know where I live it is very hard to find someone as "open". I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I know it's not the same but I can be your friend!

 

[Minouners]

First up, this is very cool. Being able to talk about how the whole 'bi-curious' thing works is fantastic.

But. It is very apparent from your posts that you have never actually done this, that is, sex with a woman, and I think you may be totally underestimating the emotional connection two women have in bed. It's nothing like sex with men (trust me, lots of experience with both), even with a woman you've only just met. It's MUCH more intimate (think of going down on another woman for starters), and there is no way you could both come out unscathed.

What I'm trying to say is, it's all very well saying "if I'm clear from the start I don't want any strings then it's her problem if she develops feelings for me". But I think that's an incredibly detached, cold and selfish way of approaching it. Using a woman for sex is traditionally the domain of men, and I think it's dangerous territory for women, who frankly should be more compassionate, to get into. Sure, I've met a few lesbians out there who fuck around, but they're not happy and easily develop crushes too.

I think the idea of two married/hetero-committed women to get together is great. At least then there's not as much danger of one of them falling in love and finding themselves willing to live in a gay relationship, with all that entails, while the other is firmly in the closet. The closet is a very strong little box, and for those of us who've broken free, it's impossible to go back in. I don't think you can have your cake and eat it too.

Anyway. Rant over. When it comes down to it, finding a sexy, femme, not-too-fucked-up lesbian is nigh on impossible!!! So sometimes we have to look outside the square and grab the straight, weak ones. LOL Great for the ego....for a while at least!

Touché aussie_ella!

I have never been in a relationship with a woman so you're probably right! Just giving my opinion is all.

 

[Dumpling]

If you are a woman who is happily married/committed but bi or bi-curious, here is a thread where you can talk freely with other women in the same position.

Well I got no problems but thought I would cum & say "HI" anyways ~