Discreet Bi Women...

[Macy02]

I agree with the others...

I agree with that. I have many bi friends that live in Mississippi. I live in Nebraska. We have been with a few of my bi friends down there. I have not been with any women in my state. And now that he's thinking about moving back home (to Mississippi), I'm getting a little worried about that. But I def. agree, there is no way I will move a woman in with us. He'll just have to get over that one...........LOL

The whole idea about him wanting you to move her in is strange. I would not be comfortable. What if it were a guy you wanted to move in with you and your spouse/boyfriend/etc.? NO, I don't think so.

It's great if you have a spouse who is really willing to let you do your explorations because he/she loves you and wants you to have new experiences and even better that you can talk about it. But moving another person into your home is more than just having sex or even a friend type of relationship.

Macy

 

[CharleyH]

If you are a woman who is happily married/committed but bi or bi-curious, here is a thread where you can talk freely with other women in the same position.

I am not sure why you can't be bi-open? If you want a chick and cant involve your guy in your fantasy or hence a happy marriage as you say? You certainly cant be very bi-happy, or even happily married or happily you? Just a thought.

 

[redneckgirl]

The whole idea about him wanting you to move her in is strange. I would not be comfortable. What if it were a guy you wanted to move in with you and your spouse/boyfriend/etc.? NO, I don't think so.

It's great if you have a spouse who is really willing to let you do your explorations because he/she loves you and wants you to have new experiences and even better that you can talk about it. But moving another person into your home is more than just having sex or even a friend type of relationship.

Macy

I said the same thing to him. I asked him what would be the difference in me moving a man in with us. He said, hell no, I don't think so. So, I told him there is no difference in that and moving a woman in. He didn't like that idea at all. But I got him to stop asking for a while, now he's started again.

 

[sexywench1961]

Stick to your guns, Red

If he doesn't like the idea of having a guy move in, then he should just give in.

Me thinks he's got ulterior motives...............

Good luck!

 

[sexywench1961]

I meant give up!!!!

 

[redneckgirl]

If he doesn't like the idea of having a guy move in, then he should just give in.

Me thinks he's got ulterior motives...............

Good luck!

Oh, he mentioned it again today on the phone. I told him unless he's comfortable with a guy moving in, I'm not comfortable with a girl moving in, then he started with his explanations and I hung up on him. He called back and I ignored him. I finally answered him later and asked him if he was tired of asking me that and he said he wouldn't mention it again. There's hope...............lol

 

[Macy02]

question...

Oh, he mentioned it again today on the phone. I told him unless he's comfortable with a guy moving in, I'm not comfortable with a girl moving in, then he started with his explanations and I hung up on him. He called back and I ignored him. I finally answered him later and asked him if he was tired of asking me that and he said he wouldn't mention it again. There's hope...............lol

Of course you are under no obligation what so ever to answer...but where does this leave you with regards to your wanting to be with a woman from time to time?

Just curious...I guess because right now for me it is only a dream...
M....

 

[bimommy]

Bi Mommy in Massachusetts

Hey There Mamas!
I'm a 29yr old married mama of one (2yr old). Although hubby knows of my past interludes with women he doesn't know that I still think about women ALL of the time and long for some girl-girl fun...

Anyone from MA? or Any mommys interested in corresponding via email?

 

[Daytona_Girls]

Just wanted to pop my head in and speak up. I was bicurious, married with children, and afraid to do anything about it. I finally did, experiemented with other curious women, and now actually live with my girlfriend (who is also my husband's girlfriend).

It is actually working out well and we are even currently looking for other bi or bicurious women to play with on occasion.

 

[Macy02]

Lucky you

Just wanted to pop my head in and speak up. I was bicurious, married with children, and afraid to do anything about it. I finally did, experiemented with other curious women, and now actually live with my girlfriend (who is also my husband's girlfriend).

It is actually working out well and we are even currently looking for other bi or bicurious women to play with on occasion.

Wow, you are a very lucky lady. May I ask how did you make the transition from afraid to do anything to experimentation?
M....

 

[lady*laura]

Please- do tell us how you transitined from thinking to acting?

 

[ChristiH]

wow interesting to find this thread!
A little about me...I'm married to a wonderful man! We've been married for almost 8 years. We have two beautiful girls! I am also bi, but do not have any other women at this point in my life. Although DH and I consider ourselves to be swingers. I really want to find myself another girl who wants to play with me bymyself and sometimes my DH. It's kinda hard though to find someone like that.

A few comments on the previous posts...
As far as Discretion...I think you do have to be discreet especially around families/friends/children. But by no means do I mean lying...you have to tell your spouse everything regarding the situation! Especially for it to work out.

Therefore I believe communication is key and if you don't have that in your relationship, forget it!

 

[Macy02]

not much activity

Hey everyone,
Not much going on on the board lately so I just wanted to drop in and say hello. Still working on the communication issue here and hoping to get the courage for when I do step out-so to speak.

Have a great week.
Macy

 

[Macy02]

Where is everyone...

Hey everyone...what's up. Not much new to report here I was just wondering where everyone was...it's been really quiet.
M

 

[anne27]

Giving this thread a much deserved BUMP.

 

[AZLovelyLady]

From thinking to acting

Please- do tell us how you transitined from thinking to acting?

Isn't it somewhat like standing at the edge of a cliff above water? You stand there and stand there and stand there and the more you think about doing it the longer you just stand there without actually jumping. And then at some point something goes through your head like, "I can either climb back down and not have any fun, but be safe," or "Life's too short," and then you just jump!!!!

 

[Pervy Hobbit Fancier]

It's like coming home

Macy, I've read through this whole thread, and though I've tried to start similar ones in the past on Lit, yours seemed to take root. Good on ya!
I'm in exactly the same position. Or, well, close. My SO is in Great Britian, and he has made it abundantly clear that when I move there he would have a real problem sharing me. I think though, that he will come around as I know him *really* well, and he's already loosening up about it.

When I was married before, and broached the subject to my ex (a good, good man, though we just couldn't live together) I got the same..."look". Sort of a silent, double blink.

I've been with a woman exactly one time in my life and it was not a great experience due to some misunderstandings we had on what certain terms meant...lol. It was more my fault than hers and it has absolutely never stopped me from wanting to be with a woman again. (The potential for it to be really good was there, it was just a few communication problems.)

I too have a few regrets, that I was pursued by a beautiful woman in college but was too naive and ignorant to know she was hitting one me. lol! It's only in the last ten years that I've said to myself "OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THAT'S what she meant by that!"

In short, we're in similar boats. Wanna do it. Don't know how to do it. Don't know what would happen if we ever did it. (I consider the one time I did dally with a girl, a big mistake-but only because of the circumstances.) I don't know how to get "hooked up" with someone in my town, or even where to go to start making some sort of inroad in that direction.
I suppose all we can do is keep talking, and maybe as we all gather our bits of knowledge, compile it here!

Keep me posted and feel free to drop me an email if you ever want to chat. (Let me know if you'd like my email addy and I'll pm it to you.)

(By way of introduction, my name is Becky, and I'm 33 and Mom to a gorgeous 6 year old boy!)

 

[Macy02]

time for an update

I had a chat with my dh recently. See we haven't exactly been having alot or "relations". He is trying to communicate with me, I give him kudos for that.
He has made me aware of some health problems, but how to fix them (if at all possible) is still an issue. But I suggested we could work around some of them and maybe we to try some different things, at some point the conversation got around to maybe we should have a 3some. I don't remember how it got to that....but anyway he said sort of jokingly, 'if we get a woman to join us, I'll be finished in 10 minutes, then you and her would have to finish each other off.' So I replied, "ok, I'm game."
He was surprised and I did not say well I've been fantasizing about what it would be like....But I told him I want to experience everything and I'd do it if it would be of interest to him. Well then we got on to discussing how would we find this third person, female vs male, trust, discretion, privacy, safety, etc. Basically we made no decisions, it was just talk, there are so many "concerns" (see the list above). But at least he is talking to me. His work schedule keeps him away from home alot but I am hopeful that future conversations will be productive.

I do not know if it will ever happen, if it does I think it would be awesome to be able to share it with my dh, It is important to me that he is secure in our relationship and that he get to have some "fun" too. But for now it is just fantasy.
Macy

 

[MsNouriche]

Sex and intimacy.

Just some positive feedback.
I have an open minded family. While very strict about education and manners, my parents have always been open and warm hearted about sex and sexuality. My bisexuality was not "news" as I was not the first to "come out". Far from it. So while I am "open" I move in a small circle, have a solid upbringing that included not ever speaking in slang.

From what I know, married bi or bi-curious women have 2 options - cheat on the hubby. Or, include him as a 3-some and/or swinging. Who created these two options for you?

That is a lot of antiquated crap. Appreciating a woman, as a woman is natural if you feel so inclined. So many of you are tormented over it. Everything women do to feel empowered is jabbed and stabbed as wrong and shameful in this society, at some point.
I am not the only adult, bisexual woman who has the maturity and integrity to build an authentic friendship with another woman. Who can be my lover, without it being about breaking up a marriage or whatever the label. Intimate friendships can be emotional and physical while still being a friendship. You can honor your feelings, privately without feeling punished.

Many women are happily married to men and have a "best girlfriend" its not just in the artsy movies. Discretion is not symbolic of shame.
What about bi and bi curious men? Well if they also like to cross dress or be submissive they have equal crap to deal with.

You can find that person, if its what you need. Chances are good there is another woman like you, who needs that kind of connection too. Give yourself a break ladies, relax.
MsN

 

[SweetErika]

From what I know, married bi or bi-curious women have 2 options - cheat on the hubby. Or, include him as a 3-some and/or swinging. Who created these two options for you?

Actually, I saw two additional options: Not doing anything at all, and seeking permission to have relationships with women on my own.

I am not the only adult, bisexual woman who has the maturity and integrity to build an authentic friendship with another woman. Who can be my lover, without it being about breaking up a marriage or whatever the label. Intimate friendships can be emotional and physical while still being a friendship. You can honor your feelings, privately without feeling punished.

Many women are happily married to men and have a "best girlfriend" its not just in the artsy movies. Discretion is not symbolic of shame.
What about bi and bi curious men? Well if they also like to cross dress or be submissive they have equal crap to deal with.

So, just to clarify, you're suggesting we (married, bi women) have sex with women, and tell our spouses those women are our "best girlfriends," but not that we're having sex with them?

 

[1bicuriousmom]

I haven't been on the site in awhile. I'm here though. When I start to feel a little manic then I come here. LOL
I'm still searching for a "friend" to experiment with. LOL No such luck 'round these here parts. I need to make NEW friends!

 

[dan38bi]

hello every one....

I am married to a very loving Bi wife, who at this point in time has a female lover, ( a non bi gal)

I am very much okay with this situation that I have, no I do not want to be apart of her and her lover, that to me would ruin their relationship.

I am new here and have been doing alot of reading and learning, I am glad that this is here.


thank you for being here.

Dan

 

[Macy02]

welcome Dan

Welcome Dan, please feel free to contribute often, your prespectiive is appreciated too.

I don't know if/when I will ever experience another "woman". My marriage is strong but we have things to work on before I could start another relationship or even a one time thing. I don't like to do things behind his back and even if he is not present I think it would be nice to be able to share with him some of my experience - if and when I have it.

As far as bi-sexuality and my family goes (I think it was msnouriche who said her family was more understanding), it's none of anyone's business what I (and my husband) do in the bedroom. I don't talk about this with family and don't plan to. I have a very small group of friends at this point and none of them have any clue. I just don't feel the need to discuss it with them, and I'm not looking to wave any banners either.
I just would like to know what it feels like to be with a woman, maybe it will be a relationship, maybe it will be a one time thing-who knows. It will be discreet!

Anyway, I'm glad to see this thread is still going on, I think I can learn alot from you all and I hope I can be helpful in return.
M............

 

[dan38bi]

thanks for the welcome,

tonight she is out on a date and I am feeling really good about it,

and in the end of the evening I know that she will be sleeping with me in bed and thats what makes it all good.

 

[harmony1972]

I am very bi-curious. I have been with women before I got married. I met my spouse at a time when I was falling apart and was afraid I would never get back together (not because of my sexuality but because I had lost everything in life). Now its 16 years later, we have three small kids and I am completely miserable. My spouse knows about my being bi but he thinks I am gross. He also no longer finds me attractive and no longer has sex with me.

So what are my options? He refuses to let me explore, he thinks I am gross, so i guess that is out. Ignore this part of me and conitue to cry and hurt, or try to leave. Outside of this I do love my husband and I love my children.

So does this make me a bad person for wanting to step outside without my spouse? And really...who would want to be with someone who would go out w/o their husbands knowledge.