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DLL's anything goes thread

GOOOOOOOOOOOOD Morning everyone!
Hope y'all have a great day...
I'll be checking in, between boxes :p
 
Because I'm a man......


Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes
hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after
hypothermia has set in.


Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and
stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up,
one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.


Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and
take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so
for you this isn't an issue.


Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin"
or "tofu" For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any
circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene
product" is a euphemism.


Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist
on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much
once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.


Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).


Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex, cars, or food, though I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't.


Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother
come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mom too!


Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.


Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?


Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the 21st century, I will share equally
in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the
cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

Because I'm a man......
 
babydoll2u said:
LMFAOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH so true!!!
Click to expand...

I figured that one would score points :D

Feelin stressed?.......

STRESS MANAGEMENT

Here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest
psychological texts.

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp,
cool, mountain air. No one knows your secret place. You are in total
seclusion from that hectic place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
serenity. The water is clear. Really clear.... so clear you can easily make
out the face
of the person you're holding under the water...

There now... feeling better?
 
Joey3308 said:
I figured that one would score points :D

Feelin stressed?.......

STRESS MANAGEMENT

Here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air. No one knows your secret place. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear. Really clear.... so clear you can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water...

There now... feeling better?
Click to expand...

LMAO! Joey! lol
I wouldn't do that to you! :eek: :rolleyes:
 
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