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DLL's anything goes thread

Joey3308 said:
Because I'm a man......


Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes
hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after
hypothermia has set in.


Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and
stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up,
one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.


Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and
take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so
for you this isn't an issue.


Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin"
or "tofu" For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any
circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene
product" is a euphemism.


Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist
on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much
once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.


Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).


Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex, cars, or food, though I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't.


Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother
come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mom too!


Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.


Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?


Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the 21st century, I will share equally
in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the
cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

Because I'm a man......
Click to expand...



AAh Joey that is all so true and why shouldn`t it be, as Lord and Master in my house I have to tell you these woman have a lot to..... *SMACK*, Oh! Hi hon you`re home.
No, no I wwas just talking to so.... *tap, tap,tap sigh* Yes I`ve done the shopping, aand the dishes, I just have to finish the vacuuming and the ironing. Uh! hon do you think I could wear some clothes today, it`s kind of cold...Oh you are so right, what would I need them for anyway. Ok I`ll see you when you get back from your massage. Now what was I saying....
 
Morning ((((Peggy)))):kiss: :rose: Glad I could make you smile.
I`ve been batching for a week so I really do have to get stuck in to some housework. *now where is that maids outfit* She is coming home today. *grin from ear to ear*
 
quoll said:
Morning ((((Peggy)))):kiss: :rose: Glad I could make you smile.
I`ve been batching for a week so I really do have to get stuck in to some housework. *now where is that maids outfit* She is coming home today. *grin from ear to ear*
Click to expand...

GOOD for you sweetie ;)
 
Ok, I don`t get it, all this fuss over housework, it really is a piece of cake.

Dishes:-Scatter dishes in back yard, release dogs.

Washing:- Place all clothes into string bags, tie length of string from bag to door knob, throw bag in toilet, flush continually until clothes are clean.

Clean carpet:- Hellooo, internet, credit card, it was old carpet anyway.

Feed and exercise dogs:- see dishes.

Lunch:- If my food is good enough for the dog, then surely the reverse must apply.

Housework finished.
 
Last edited:
quoll said:
Ok, I don`t get it, all this fuss over housework, it really is a piece of cake.

Dishes:-Scatter dishes in back yard, release dogs.

Washing:- Place all clothes into string bags, tie length of string from bag to door knob, throw bag in toilet, flush continually until clothes are clean.

Clean carpet:- Hellooo, internet, credit card, it was old carpet anyway.

Feed and exercise dogs:- see dishes.

Lunch:- If my food is good enough for the dog, then surely the reverse must apply.

Housework finished.
Click to expand...

LMFAO!!!! :D
 
A woman goes to her doctor and said she wanted an operation done
because her vagina lips were much too large. She then asked the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she didn't want anyone to find out, so the doctor
agreed.

She woke up from her operation only to find three roses carefully
placed beside her in bed. Outraged she immediately calls in the doctor. She said
to him, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The doctor told her he did not and not to worry. He then continued,
"The first rose is from me. I felt bad because you went through this all by
yourself. The second one is from my nurse. She assisted me with the
operation and had the operation done herself."

Just then the girl asked about the third rose.
The doctor said, "Oh, that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn
unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!"


______________________________________________
 
Joey3308 said:
A woman goes to her doctor and said she wanted an operation done
because her vagina lips were much too large. She then asked the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she didn't want anyone to find out, so the doctor
agreed.

She woke up from her operation only to find three roses carefully
placed beside her in bed. Outraged she immediately calls in the doctor. She said
to him, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The doctor told her he did not and not to worry. He then continued,
"The first rose is from me. I felt bad because you went through this all by
yourself. The second one is from my nurse. She assisted me with the
operation and had the operation done herself."

Just then the girl asked about the third rose.
The doctor said, "Oh, that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn
unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!"


______________________________________________
Click to expand...

:cool:
 
Joey3308 said:
A woman goes to her doctor and said she wanted an operation done
because her vagina lips were much too large. She then asked the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she didn't want anyone to find out, so the doctor
agreed.

She woke up from her operation only to find three roses carefully
placed beside her in bed. Outraged she immediately calls in the doctor. She said
to him, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The doctor told her he did not and not to worry. He then continued,
"The first rose is from me. I felt bad because you went through this all by
yourself. The second one is from my nurse. She assisted me with the
operation and had the operation done herself."

Just then the girl asked about the third rose.
The doctor said, "Oh, that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn
unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!"


______________________________________________
Click to expand...

*shakin' my head* :rolleyes:
 
she_is_my_addiction said:
I'm more irritated than ever about asshole...we both know who I'm talking about. Him and is butt ugly AV.

:mad:
Click to expand...

why ARE you so pissed at him anyway?? :rolleyes:
 
she_is_my_addiction said:
I'd say anger problems and the general stupid, macho behavior he sports.

Oh, and I hate men like him.
Click to expand...

aahh ok gotcha. Well I have him on ignore, so
I don't have to worry about it. May I suggest
that you do the same? :rolleyes: ;)
 
Hi everyone...........*sniff* o.m.g. what is that smell *cough* whew someone let fluffy off the chain, *gag*opened their lunchbox *gasp*ooh man something`s dead in here. see ya
 
Gooooooood morning everyone!
It's a great day to be alive... hope y'all have a good one :rose:
 
Originally posted by she_is_my_addiction
I'm more irritated than ever about asshole...we both know who I'm talking about. Him and is butt ugly AV.

:mad:
Click to expand...

hi addiction..nice to meet ya!!!

now we are friends tell me who is the asshole ..i am clueless been away from the thread a bit:kiss:
 
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