Do you ever feel real emotions for someone you've met on here?

[SinfuIDreams]

Sweet! I’ll start saving shows to binge watch

Sounds like a plan to me

 

[BigWeapon]

Emotions are always real if you feel connected.. also depends how many different levels you conect..

 

[Fermina_Daza]

Once upon a time ago. But I don't really get close to anyone on here now. Just too much other stuff going on and I wasn't with my partner then.

 

[Just4AFriend]

Hmmm
Without feelings it’s porn
With feelings more like erotica
Less fun if it’s pure sex and less likely that it will be a relationship vs a one night “wam bam next man!” Those can rip your heart out, but being used is part of the game here for many.

The fun here is figuring out how to be what someone wants and move them to do things you like as well

 

[Orchidea73]

The fun here is figuring out how to be what someone wants and move them to do things you like as well

What do you mean by "someone she wants"? Could you elaborate a bit more?

 

[Paendragon]

This thread has been a lot more enlightening than I thought it would be. Thank you all for sharing.

 

[blueeyedgirl69]

Yes, I have. It’s been a long time but I did feel something for him.

 

[king04]

i get a little sad if i don't hear from someone for a while but always happy when i do hear from people

 

[fullservice65]

I'm in recovery mode.
I've had a couple of relationships over the years through Lit, but this one just last month/early this month was ... different. I fell for her in the most amazing way. I love her energy and passion and smarts and playfulness.
And then *poof* -- she was gone.

 

[Orchidea73]

I'm in recovery mode.
I've had a couple of relationships over the years through Lit, but this one just last month/early this month was ... different. I fell for her in the most amazing way. I love her energy and passion and smarts and playfulness.
And then *poof* -- she was gone.

I should think that's a common practice here, or internet in general.

 

[Chillygirl]

I'm in recovery mode.
I've had a couple of relationships over the years through Lit, but this one just last month/early this month was ... different. I fell for her in the most amazing way. I love her energy and passion and smarts and playfulness.
And then *poof* -- she was gone.

That’s just hurtful and rude. I don’t understand why people can’t be honest and say goodbye. I do think the internet makes it easy to just cut and run but that doesn’t make it right. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

 

[Orchidea73]

That’s just hurtful and rude. I don’t understand why people can’t be honest and say goodbye. I do think the internet makes it easy to just cut and run but that doesn’t make it right. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

It isn't right, no. But it's easier, or so they think, because having to break up with someone is a rejection, fundamentally. That's not an easy thing to do either. Furthermore, in many cases the dumpee won't accept the breakup, and so the dumper doesn't want to deal with all the drama that comes with it.

It is what it is. I would say the only closure you need is the action. They left. Accept it, learn from it and move on.

 

[ShaneoD]

It isn't right, no. But it's easier, or so they think, because having to break up with someone is a rejection, fundamentally. That's not an easy thing to do either. Furthermore, in many cases the dumpee won't accept the breakup, and so the dumper doesn't want to deal with all the drama that comes with it.

It is what it is. I would say the only closure you need is the action. They left. Accept it, learn from it and move on.

That's a very mature view, life's a lot easier when you don't make unnecessary assumptions, when this has happened to me, only once fortunately, I've assumed she's had things going on in her life and things have changed. As horrible a feeling as it can be you eventually accept that you don't have a right to anyone's time.

 

[Orchidea73]

That's a very mature view, life's a lot easier when you don't make unnecessary assumptions, when this has happened to me, only once fortunately, I've assumed she's had things going on in her life and things have changed. As horrible a feeling as it can be you eventually accept that you don't have a right to anyone's time.

It happened to me once also. I was a "virgin" and had no clue what ghosting was. I had to google it, believe it or not. lol

The horrible thing was that we were far from each other. At first, I thought something really bad happened to him. My mind went racing imagining all the worse possible scenarios and I had no one to call and check. But after 3 days calling him and have no answer (the phone was ringing so somebody was charging that phone ) I got the "message". It was bad but it was an experience. I learned to read the signs and not ignore the red flags for the future. People come and go in your life for a reason. Hopefully, each one of them helps you move forward and become better.

 

[ShaneoD]

It happened to me once also. I was a "virgin" and had no clue what ghosting was. I had to google it, believe it or not. lol

The horrible thing was that we were far from each other. At first, I thought something really bad happened to him. My mind went racing imagining all the worse possible scenarios and I had no one to call and check. But after 3 days calling him and have no answer (the phone was ringing so somebody was charging that phone ) I got the "message". It was bad but it was an experience. I learned to read the signs and not ignore the red flags for the future. People come and go in your life for a reason. Hopefully, each one of them helps you move forward and become better.

I really like that attitude, I was in my 30's before I developed a similar outlook on life

 

[Smoothshavendad]

I have fallen in love multiple times on Lit.

 

[Orchidea73]

I really like that attitude, I was in my 30's before I developed a similar outlook on life

I'm not always flawless. But when it comes to break-ups I'm pretty "easy". I always joke that I am easy to dump. LOL

That doesn't mean that I do not get hurt and suffer. Our ego is bruised as well. Let's face it, it's a rejection and nobody likes it. But if I had to choose from being a dumper or dumpee, I would choose the latter. It hurts at the beginning but you can only go up from there, and it is a great motivator. It gives you a big stimulus to change things about yourself or your life and improve it.

 

[ShaneoD]

I'm not always flawless. But when it comes to break-ups I'm pretty "easy". I always joke that I am easy to dump. LOL

That doesn't mean that I do not get hurt and suffer. Our ego is bruised as well. Let's face it, it's a rejection and nobody likes it. But if I had to choose from being a dumper or dumpee, I would choose the latter. It hurts at the beginning but you can only go up from there, and it is a great motivator. It gives you a big stimulus to change things about yourself or your life and improve it.

If you're not perfect you're on your way to getting there, you may take over the world one day with that attitude. I hear all of that, you've got to take lessons from everything that happens in life.

 

[Orchidea73]

If you're not perfect you're on your way to getting there, you may take over the world one day with that attitude. I hear all of that, you've got to take lessons from everything that happens in life.

Ha! You're too kind. Thank you.

Of course, it's easier to preach than put those lessons into practice. But I have become better with time. I will reach the perfection when I die.

 

[Chillygirl]

It isn't right, no. But it's easier, or so they think, because having to break up with someone is a rejection, fundamentally. That's not an easy thing to do either. Furthermore, in many cases the dumpee won't accept the breakup, and so the dumper doesn't want to deal with all the drama that comes with it.

It is what it is. I would say the only closure you need is the action. They left. Accept it, learn from it and move on.

Oh I completely agree that it’s easier and drama free. And I agree that you just have to accept it and move on.

But it’s still rude and selfish. And the dumpee is entitled to their feelings too. Sucks all the way around...

 

[Orchidea73]

Oh I completely agree that it’s easier and drama free. And I agree that you just have to accept it and move on.

But it’s still rude and selfish. And the dumper is entitled to their feelings too. Sucks all the way around...

Make no mistake, I do not condone that behaviour. I think is shitty and rude, as you rightly said. But it helps trying to understand other people's behaviour and motivations also. It's not like they are bad and we are good. We all make mistakes and fuck up sometimes. Nobody is perfect.

 

[Acktion]

Do you ever kick yourself for it?

I do. Both. I don't let people in easily. I'm guarded. Very.

I think I need to be more guarded. Lol

Do I ever feel real emotions for someone I've met on here?

All the time. Whether it is friendship or camaraderie or... something more. I don't let people in easily either. However, once in, I was all the way in.

Until they weren't.

***shrug***

I know my worth. And I am not a television or radio to be tuned for what someone is in the mood for.

Back in my checkered past, my first ex-fiancee playing ping-pong ball between me and another guy for five years before dumping us both in favor of a third we never saw coming. (And who she eventually married.) My second ex-fiancee started off the same way, dumping me eight times and trying to come back to me before I told her I was done playing that game.

And I was done playing that game with anyone else either. Friend or lover, it didn't matter. Once they came and went, they'd had their chance.

Ghosting... I cut some slack on. I've had my own problems with connectivity issues to see how ghosting could be unintentional. But, if I see 'em around, and especially making time with someone else while ignoring me, then they don't get what they were freely given anymore. And I move on as well. All too often, historically, after the point when sanity said that I should have.

Do I ever kick myself for it?

A few times. Typically when I believed lies told to get me to that point. Words lie easily. Actions rarely do.

Perhaps I flatter myself, but I like to think that I'm still hard to fool. In face to face interactions.

Online, however, I have fallen again and again for falsehoods and manipulations. And each time, I swear that it will be the last time.

Until the next time.

But, no. I've held the empty chrysalis of my wife of two and a half decades while I screamed my pain and rage at the ceiling and the heavens beyond. After that, feeling some emotion for what turns out to be a chimera is hardly a blip on my radar anymore. I just follow the FIDO principle. Fuck It; Drive On.

And never look back.

 

[Orchidea73]

Ghosting... I cut some slack on. I've had my own problems with connectivity issues to see how ghosting could be unintentional. But, if I see 'em around, and especially making time with someone else while ignoring me, then they don't get what they were freely given anymore. And I move on as well. All too often, historically, after the point when sanity said that I should have.

Ghosting is not somebody that can't connect for a couple of hours or few days. Ghosting is when a person cuts off all communication with the person they're dating (sometimes with their friends as well), without any warning, and "disappears". Often for months and even years, before they come back. They avoid any phone calls, e-mails, social media etc. The bad thing about ghosting is that you don't know if this person is sick, dead or alive, at least at first. You have no news at all, directly or indirectly. Hence the word "Ghosting".

Somebody who isn't responding to your message but you can see them communicating with others isn't ghosting you. He/She is blatantly ignoring you.

 

[Dardesstra]

Make no mistake, I do not condone that behaviour. I think is shitty and rude, as you rightly said. But it helps trying to understand other people's behaviour and motivations also. It's not like they are bad and we are good. We all make mistakes and fuck up sometimes. Nobody is perfect.

Well said! Good words to remember throughout most all interactions with others, not just on Lit or Online.

 

[LikeableMe]

Real feelings, real tears.