Do you ever feel real emotions for someone you've met on here?

[ShaneoD]

Real feelings, real tears.

That's true, you can't ignore you're feelings, it takes time to get over these things, and it doesn't mean you can't think about them every once in a while either.

 

[NotThatMrsJones]

Ghosting is not somebody that can't connect for a couple of hours or few days. Ghosting is when a person cuts off all communication with the person they're dating (sometimes with their friends as well), without any warning, and "disappears". Often for months and even years, before they come back. They avoid any phone calls, e-mails, social media etc. The bad thing about ghosting is that you don't know if this person is sick, dead or alive, at least at first. You have no news at all, directly or indirectly. Hence the word "Ghosting".

Somebody who isn't responding to your message but you can see them communicating with others isn't ghosting you. He/She is blatantly ignoring you.

I fully agree. Being someone who was ghosted here in the past (which I wrote about here), it's painful, and shows that you can most assuredly have real emotions for someone online. Seeing the responses from people, ghosting is more prevalent than one would think. It's the not knowing part that really nags at me. I wondered for the longest time if I had done something wrong. I looked back at emails and chat logs, and played back conversations in my mind looking for a clue that could enlighten me as to what went wrong. I finally came to the conclusion, that if I had done something to scare him off, so to speak, it wasn't plain to me. I'm more than willing to own up to any mistakes I make, but you have to tell me what it is I did. And at the end of the day, I suspect that it wasn't anything I did. But I'll never know for sure.

 

[newrandomperson]

I hope what I write is nuanced enough to make sense, this is such a big subject that can range across so many emotions. I have been fortunate in that there are people on these boards I have gotten to know and connected with in incredibly strong ways which has manifested into some fantastic bonds that I hope will always remain. Most of these people I talk to regularly, and I never have or never will take that for granted because we do live in an age where it is so easy to disappear without so much as a moments notice.

That is not to say there have not been conversation that have petered out, or not gone the way I would have hoped, but I feel very fortunate in many respects because I always try to remind myself that at the end of the day no-one owes me their time and sometimes people do just drift apart.

To those in the thread who have been ghosted, which I suspect is the main thrust, I have all the sympathy for you because I know when it has happened to me it can lead to a period of introspection and confusion when it is rarely anybody's fault, it is just one of those things. Of course that never makes it any easier. Big hugs to all of you in that situation.

 

[fullservice65]

That’s just hurtful and rude. I don’t understand why people can’t be honest and say goodbye. I do think the internet makes it easy to just cut and run but that doesn’t make it right. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

Thank you.
And thanks to everyone else for the discussion.

 

[littlebirdjoy]

Real feelings, real tears.

Absolutely agree with this.

Yep.

I've had real feelings, real tears, and wonderful friendships that last years and even a decade or more. <3

 

[GirlWithADirtyMind02]

yes

 

[ChicaMuyOcupada]

You certainly can. I had strong feelings for one man on Lit. I knew things would not work out for either of us in the long run, so I had to push myself away from him. If I had not, if I had let my emotions stay the course, I would have fallen for him. I still believe that I did the right thing, but I still harbor some regret in my heart. Perhaps I got closer than I thought before I pulled back from him.

 

[CFNMhubby]

Do you ever kick yourself for it?

I do. Both. I don't let people in easily. I'm guarded. Very.

I think I need to be more guarded. Lol

Yes and it started off so innocent I am a submissive male and she is married. She immediately picked up on my submissive nature and suggested I am actually more effeminate. I had a desire to learn feminine things in order to please and satisfy her. She asked me to help her pick out colors to do her nails. I would ask her about how she likes her hair done. We often talked about ways in which I could make a girl happy without penetration. She is married and sometimes when she tells me Bout his her husband had sexual with her it drives me crazy. Even in my fantasies when I am trying to desperately to be a man and fuck her and satisfy her sexually I end up cunning prematurely before I can get inside her. When this happens she consoles me and tells me satisfying women like a man isn’t my thing. I am served better to be entirely eclipsed by a woman’s personality and devoting myself to service her in other ways. With my mouth, with gestures, compliments, with humiliating myself for her amusement. Lately I’ve fantasized Bojt being her dog, an effeminate boy who she treats like a pupil, she’s even suggested I am best like this feminine effeminate learning how to appreciate a female by serving her in other ways. It drives me insane when I think about how I fantasize About worshipping her Pussy with complete and utter devotion only to find her husband can come home and stick his sock inside her and satisfy her the way a man should. It’s hard to accept being reduced to less than a man but she drives me so crazy that I enjoy the idea of being her pet.

 

[Lady2020]

Do you ever kick yourself for it?

I do. Both. I don't let people in easily. I'm guarded. Very.

I think I need to be more guarded. Lol

I've developed emotions for several men on Lit. I don't think there's an easy answer for the issue. Maybe keep it to a short time without revealing too much personal info. I'll probably go back to one-nighters. Fortunately, I recently started a new job which will help deal with today's It's Been Nice Knowing You message.

Good luck!

 

[Chillygirl]

It can be really difficult can’t it. Some men I have no problem keeping it superficial and when I get the “I don’t have time for this anymore” message it doesn’t bother me at all.

Other times it’s like being gutted.

That chemistry can be a bitch.

 

[Pervy_Sage]

It can be really difficult can’t it. Some men I have no problem keeping it superficial and when I get the “I don’t have time for this anymore” message it doesn’t bother me at all.

Other times it’s like being gutted.

That chemistry can be a bitch.

Chemistry can gut you horribly. I know it well.

 

[MidTownBob]

Yes. I met a couple on here several years ago and slowly cultivated a friendship. Our PM exchanges elevated to phone calls and texts, and eventually resulted in a visit to their area and me having sex with the male half of the couple.

 

[Sundayschild]

Gotta be careful. That shit can sting.

 

[Kelleebabes]

I've met real cool, down to earth, sexy people here...with big hearts...that can be broken just like anybody else's...

 

[bookworm69]

Real feelings, real tears.

Yes, of course. And, why not ... especially when secrets and other intimacies have been shared?

 

[ADIDAS00]

Yup.....the feels are real

 

[Deleted member 1300976]

Absolutely Friendship and relationships are real regardless of physical presence

 

[scorpiobabe]

Sure, caring comes first for me...

 

[SassySheDevil]

Gotta be careful. That shit can sting.

I have to remind myself of that often. Which is a good reason I am working on some taller walls these days. When I fail in that. it often bites me in the ass.

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

I was recently handed some letters that one of my grandmothers had sent me as a child. I had forgotten about them, and had forgotten as well about how we used to write to each other. I think we were all challenged to be smarter when we had to write things down in pen and ink. You had to get it right the first time.

 

[Chillygirl]

Boundaries, walls, icy heart....keep it superficial.

Seriously though I try to remind myself that this is supposed to be fun. And best advice I’ve gotten is to remember that I’m not the solution for his problem and he’s not the solution for mine!

 

[susan_s98]

I do have real feelings about things here

I do truly feel sad and bad about some of the things that have been shared with me on here over the years- it's only human

 

[HotChef1970]

I have to remind myself of that often. Which is a good reason I am working on some taller walls these days. When I fail in that. it often bites me in the ass.

This is a really interesting thread, and I fully get where you are coming from Sassy, one thing that is often forgotten is that there is a person behind that screen and I often remind myself of the saying “would you say that to their face if you were out having a drink together”
Some people do seem to not stop and think of the consequences of their own words or actions and what they may have on the person at the other end, again it’s all about that one word - respect, often forgotten in the modern all digital world

 

[HotChef1970]

Boundaries, walls, icy heart....keep it superficial.

Seriously though I try to remind myself that this is supposed to be fun. And best advice I’ve gotten is to remember that I’m not the solution for his problem and he’s not the solution for mine!

I think the first line is exactly what most people would like to think they start out with - although the icy heart is a tough one as to a certain degree when you engage with people/have them engage with you there will always be some kind of emotion unless you are a naturally cold hearted person but once you do that I guess it then isn’t superficial either.

I guess the thing to remind yourself about the fun thing is absolutely that, there is an advertising slogan that appears on gambling ads here in the uk “When the fun stops, STOP”
I think what I’m trying to say there is that no matter how much you let those emotional walls or barriers down (within your own boundaries), if you ultimately can’t take it back to actually having fun then you do need to take a step back and reassess things.
Whoever gave you those words of advice was a very wise person, I’d never thought about things like that but it is absolutely right in every sense, and here comes the BUT, he may not be the solution to your problem and you may not be the solution to his but sometimes in life people don’t need or want solutions, just friendship, understanding and maybe a prod in the right direction.

Oooh that was a little too deep for Tuesday morning ......... maybe I just talk to much and should shut up

 

[FunLi]

Boundaries, walls, icy heart....keep it superficial.

I used to be really good at this part..while not so much anymore and letting my guard down, I find myself constantly having to remember it’s superficial. That part sucks sometimes.