Escorts, prostitutes and paying for sex.

[satindesire]

Sometimes there really isn't room for poilteness. For example, occasionally I still get offered extra money for bareback sex or wind up with a guy who tries to wheedle his way out of wearing a condom. I don't know what planet these guys live on but you can't go acting as though they're not being utterly stupid and unreasonable. I generally refuse firmly once, then read them the riot act if they persist. If that doesn't get the message across I leave.

One of my past boyfriends was like that. "Come on baby, it's my biiiiirthdaaaay." God, it was disgusting. I was the one who would have to carry, deliver and care for the baby if I got pregnant, but apparently it was more important to bareback than to be careful about birth control.

Hence the ex title.

That's a deal breaker for me as well. I was super paranoid about birth control, often employing three methods to protect myself. I was on some form of hormonal BC, plus using condoms and spermicide, ever since I lost my virginity. I saw too many girls drop out of high school to risk it. It's sad these days when you actually achieve something great if you make it to college without a baby or a police record.

 

[human_male]

I've been meaning to see an escort for a while now. It's just been a case of finding someone suitable, somewhere convenient. I don't want to have sex. What I really, really want is for her to sit on my lap and kiss me. Properly, seriously kiss me. Knock my socks off and make my head spin.

And... there might be some boobie fondling too.

I found a place that's quite close, easy to get to and one of the girls in the add I looked at is gorgeous. Trouble is I'm too nervous to do anything about it. And even more infuriating, now I actually CAN do something, I find I don't really want to. How suck is that?

 

[PilotAbilene]

The best escorts in the world are in Australia

Singapore's got some good ones too though...

 

[infinity706]

I've been meaning to see an escort for a while now. It's just been a case of finding someone suitable, somewhere convenient. I don't want to have sex. What I really, really want is for her to sit on my lap and kiss me. Properly, seriously kiss me. Knock my socks off and make my head spin.

And... there might be some boobie fondling too.

I found a place that's quite close, easy to get to and one of the girls in the add I looked at is gorgeous. Trouble is I'm too nervous to do anything about it. And even more infuriating, now I actually CAN do something, I find I don't really want to. How suck is that?

So, you want to hire an escort just to kiss you? First, from what I've been told, a lot of escorts don't kiss clients ever. Second, likely over 95% of women would be willing to kiss on a first date. You'd probably be better off flirting with women and asking them out until you finally get one to say yes.

 

[working_girl]

I've been meaning to see an escort for a while now. It's just been a case of finding someone suitable, somewhere convenient. I don't want to have sex. What I really, really want is for her to sit on my lap and kiss me. Properly, seriously kiss me. Knock my socks off and make my head spin.

And... there might be some boobie fondling too.

I found a place that's quite close, easy to get to and one of the girls in the add I looked at is gorgeous. Trouble is I'm too nervous to do anything about it. And even more infuriating, now I actually CAN do something, I find I don't really want to. How suck is that?

I don't really understand your last comment, so I'm just going to furnish you with some info.

I don't know what escorting protocol is like in NZ but here in the UK escorts offer different services. Many do not kiss or are selective about who they kiss but many offer what is called a 'girlfriend experience' which includes french kissing and a gentler, more affectionate service. If you really want to pay for this kind of experience, a lot of girls will find it a refreshing change. Be honest about what you are seeking before you make a booking and the agency manager will be able to tell you which of their girls would be happy to provide a more intimate service.

So, you want to hire an escort just to kiss you? First, from what I've been told, a lot of escorts don't kiss clients ever. Second, likely over 95% of women would be willing to kiss on a first date. You'd probably be better off flirting with women and asking them out until you finally get one to say yes.

This is true and I agree that paying an escort makes for an expensive kiss. Some guys benefit though from the opportunity to practise on a sure thing as a confidence booster and they often ask about technique if they're inexperienced. This then gives them more confidence with women they meet socially. If you want to learn how to drive a car, you book a lesson. If you want to feel able to kiss, canoodle and have sex with confidence, an escort service can give guys the opportunity to ask for guidance.

If you want to improve your technique though, it's important that you say so. Many escorts will simply flatter you and perform no matter how unskilled you are because happy clients with well massaged egos can become regular bookings.

Not everyone can remain suitably detached with escorts and sometimes lonely people can become too attached to an escort. Many girls will reel a guy in and pretend to feel more for him than they do because repeat bookings and even expensive gifts can result. If you can take the experience for what it is, as with a driving lesson, then it can be beneficial. If you think you might be susceptible to an escort who feigns affection, it might be better not to take this path.

 

[human_male]

So, you want to hire an escort just to kiss you? First, from what I've been told, a lot of escorts don't kiss clients ever. Second, likely over 95% of women would be willing to kiss on a first date. You'd probably be better off flirting with women and asking them out until you finally get one to say yes.

Well it's pretty simple really... I can't get dates. At least not with anyone I like. I don't see why I should go without affection my entire life so if paying for it is the only way I can get it then so be it. It's not ideal obviously. I'd rather just have a relationship, but that's not an option to some people.

And I know a lot of escorts don't kiss, I'd planned to enquire before hand.

 

[human_male]

I don't know what escorting protocol is like in NZ but here in the UK escorts offer different services. Many do not kiss or are selective about who they kiss but many offer what is called a 'girlfriend experience' which includes french kissing and a gentler, more affectionate service. If you really want to pay for this kind of experience, a lot of girls will find it a refreshing change. Be honest about what you are seeking before you make a booking and the agency manager will be able to tell you which of their girls would be happy to provide a more intimate service.

That's exactly what I planned to do.

From what I understand the GFE is when the lady actually pretends to be the clients gf, is that right? That's not what I want. I'd like affection and a bit of conversation, yes. But I don't want her to pretend she's my gf or anything. But it would perhaps be simpler when I'm inquiring to just ask for the GFE.

Not everyone can remain suitably detached with escorts and sometimes lonely people can become too attached to an escort. Many girls will reel a guy in and pretend to feel more for him than they do because repeat bookings and even expensive gifts can result. If you can take the experience for what it is, as with a driving lesson, then it can be beneficial. If you think you might be susceptible to an escort who feigns affection, it might be better not to take this path.

I know, and I am in danger of that to be honest. But I shall be on my guard against it.

What I meant by my other comment is that I've been wanting to do this for ages but haven't because until now I haven't known of a suitable place in my area. It's ironic that now I do I just don't want to as much, which is annoying. Maybe it's just nerves. I am nervous as hell, but I plan to go and at least have a look at the place and talk to someone and see how I feel about it then. As I already said I'd much rather not have to do this, but I just can't go on like I am.

Thanks very much for your reply and your input. It's appreciated.

 

[infinity706]

I don't really understand your last comment, so I'm just going to furnish you with some info.

I don't know what escorting protocol is like in NZ but here in the UK escorts offer different services. Many do not kiss or are selective about who they kiss but many offer what is called a 'girlfriend experience' which includes french kissing and a gentler, more affectionate service. If you really want to pay for this kind of experience, a lot of girls will find it a refreshing change. Be honest about what you are seeking before you make a booking and the agency manager will be able to tell you which of their girls would be happy to provide a more intimate service.



This is true and I agree that paying an escort makes for an expensive kiss. Some guys benefit though from the opportunity to practise on a sure thing as a confidence booster and they often ask about technique if they're inexperienced. This then gives them more confidence with women they meet socially. If you want to learn how to drive a car, you book a lesson. If you want to feel able to kiss, canoodle and have sex with confidence, an escort service can give guys the opportunity to ask for guidance.

If you want to improve your technique though, it's important that you say so. Many escorts will simply flatter you and perform no matter how unskilled you are because happy clients with well massaged egos can become regular bookings.

Not everyone can remain suitably detached with escorts and sometimes lonely people can become too attached to an escort. Many girls will reel a guy in and pretend to feel more for him than they do because repeat bookings and even expensive gifts can result. If you can take the experience for what it is, as with a driving lesson, then it can be beneficial. If you think you might be susceptible to an escort who feigns affection, it might be better not to take this path.

I really think the last point would definately be a major issue for him. Afterall, it was just last week that he got kicked out of therapy over semi hitting on the therapist. That's a big reason why I said something. Escorts would be fine for someone that wanted a no strings attached fuck on occasion or possibly learning to kiss better if, for some reason, one was an especially good kisser. The expense isn't so much what I'd see as an issue, since, quality can sometimes be expensive.

As for the not being able to get a date thing, I used to think that, too. I missed all the signals and decided no one would ever want to date me. I didn't even get my first attempt until my senior year of highschool. Of course, nowdays, I've racked up 55 different sexual partners by choice. I'm not saying you'd ever want to do that, but telling yourself you can't ever get a date with anyone you like is silly. I'm sure there have probably been plenty of women you'd like that would have been more than happy to go out with you.

 

[human_male]

I really think the last point would definately be a major issue for him. Afterall, it was just last week that he got kicked out of therapy over semi hitting on the therapist. That's a big reason why I said something. Escorts would be fine for someone that wanted a no strings attached fuck on occasion or possibly learning to kiss better if, for some reason, one was an especially good kisser. The expense isn't so much what I'd see as an issue, since, quality can sometimes be expensive.

As for the not being able to get a date thing, I used to think that, too. I missed all the signals and decided no one would ever want to date me. I didn't even get my first attempt until my senior year of highschool. Of course, nowdays, I've racked up 55 different sexual partners by choice. I'm not saying you'd ever want to do that, but telling yourself you can't ever get a date with anyone you like is silly. I'm sure there have probably been plenty of women you'd like that would have been more than happy to go out with you.

I can totally see why you said that, and I think it's a valid point given my other post. But I've learned from that, and I think this would be different because I'm expecting her to pretend to like me. I'll be careful though, but thanks for your concern.

And the vote of confidence.

 

[working_girl]

From what I understand the GFE is when the lady actually pretends to be the clients gf, is that right? That's not what I want. I'd like affection and a bit of conversation, yes. But I don't want her to pretend she's my gf or anything. But it would perhaps be simpler when I'm inquiring to just ask for the GFE.

She won't pretend to be your gf but she will be expecting to kiss & canoodle, connect on a more emotional level and talk more. It's pretty much code for 'nervous male with low self esteem, handle with care.' A good escort is part therapist for a lot of people but that's where the danger for over-familiarity and attachment lies.

I know, and I am in danger of that to be honest. But I shall be on my guard against it.

That's good. I would caution you though that a girlfriend service makes it more difficult to keep things strictly professional in your own mind.

What I meant by my other comment is that I've been wanting to do this for ages but haven't because until now I haven't known of a suitable place in my area. It's ironic that now I do I just don't want to as much, which is annoying. Maybe it's just nerves. I am nervous as hell, but I plan to go and at least have a look at the place and talk to someone and see how I feel about it then. As I already said I'd much rather not have to do this, but I just can't go on like I am.

Thanks very much for your reply and your input. It's appreciated.

Just because the girls at a place are attractive, doesn't mean it's a good place to go or well run. You should ask for a girl who speaks English as a first language because it'll be a long booking if she doesn't. You shouldn't expect to connect with the first girl you meet so be prepared for a few trial bookings before you meet someone you feel comfortable with. Set spending limits in your head and stick to them as escorts will always angle for the booking to be extended or to see you more often than you had originally planned. People who get too attached can spend quite stupid sums of money before they realise what they're doing. Here in the UK we have a few sites where clients review and rate agencies and girls.

I really think the last point would definately be a major issue for him. Afterall, it was just last week that he got kicked out of therapy over semi hitting on the therapist. That's a big reason why I said something. Escorts would be fine for someone that wanted a no strings attached fuck on occasion or possibly learning to kiss better if, for some reason, one was an especially good kisser. The expense isn't so much what I'd see as an issue, since, quality can sometimes be expensive.

I hadn't read that thread but having looked over it, I can see your point.

As for the not being able to get a date thing, I used to think that, too. I missed all the signals and decided no one would ever want to date me. I didn't even get my first attempt until my senior year of highschool. Of course, nowdays, I've racked up 55 different sexual partners by choice. I'm not saying you'd ever want to do that, but telling yourself you can't ever get a date with anyone you like is silly. I'm sure there have probably been plenty of women you'd like that would have been more than happy to go out with you.

I think people who lack confidence are often defeatist and they miss encouraging signals or take the easy out of not asking a girl on a date for fear of rejection. Some people can't get dates because of physical and/or mental health issues but HM's profile pic is attractive and engaging and he appears to be well aware of his character flaws. People who use escorts all have a need that's not being met and when something is a need rather than a passing fancy, there's always the risk that they'll assign more importance or merit to it than they really should.

Closed, defensive body language can dissuade people from showing an interest in a guy. Problems with eye contact can make a guy look shifty or disinterested. Some guys really do expect women to be telepathic because they're too shy to make the first move but in reality, the worst most women will do is say 'thanks but no thanks.' Most women accept that it takes courage for a guy to ask them out and will feel flattered even if the feeling isn't mutual. Once fear of rejection is put aside, you can just keep practising your social skills until you get it right. One exercise is to travel to a town some distance from where you live, where you don't know a soul and will never see anyone you meet again. Then practise chatting to people and flirting with women all night. Step out of your insecurities and pretend you're James Bond for the evening, walk tall and practise feigning confidence and self assurance. Fake it till you make it.

Then you've got to be open to positive experiences. Take every opportunity to be sociable whether it's chatting to the person who works in your local store or smiling at a woman when your eyes meet by chance. If you work on appearing more laid back and approachable, people will be drawn to you and more comfortable around you.

When I first started escorting, I was so hopelessly nervous. I was awkward and tongue-tied (in a manner or speaking) and people found it hard to relax with me. Nervous clients who wanted to be put at their ease and taken in hand ran a mile from me. Now I can walk into a man's home and almost take over the role of hostess, put him at his ease and act with a self assurance that has taken time and application to win. Physically, I look pretty much the same as the day I started out but mentally, emotionally and socially, I am a totally different creature and that's what gets me my regular clients. There are plenty of pretty girls on the game but they don't offer the same quality time that I do; intelligent conversation, trust and confidentiality, warmth, affection and easy banter. I can put it on like lipstick now and I am here to tell you that all it really takes is practise and a determination not to care about how many faux pas you make along the way.

I can totally see why you said that, and I think it's a valid point given my other post. But I've learned from that, and I think this would be different because I'm expecting her to pretend to like me. I'll be careful though, but thanks for your concern.

And the vote of confidence.

I hope that you're able to have a positive experience. If you do go ahead with this, it'd be nice to know how it goes, whether by post or pm.

 

[human_male]

Now I can walk into a man's home and almost take over the role of hostess, put him at his ease and act with a self assurance that has taken time and application to win. Physically, I look pretty much the same as the day I started out but mentally, emotionally and socially, I am a totally different creature and that's what gets me my regular clients. There are plenty of pretty girls on the game but they don't offer the same quality time that I do; intelligent conversation, trust and confidentiality, warmth, affection and easy banter. I can put it on like lipstick now and I am here to tell you that all it really takes is practise and a determination not to care about how many faux pas you make along the way.

That's just the sort of lady I'm hoping for. I was hoping I could meet her before going ahead, but if that's not possible I'll just have to go with whoever they suggest and hope for the best. If my first experience isn't a positive one I doubt I'd do it again. I planned to only do this a few times a year (maybe three or four) because of the cost.

Thanks again. I'll definitely post back if anything happens (assuming it's not too embarrasing).

 

[PoeticMusings53]

That's just the sort of lady I'm hoping for. I was hoping I could meet her before going ahead, but if that's not possible I'll just have to go with whoever they suggest and hope for the best. If my first experience isn't a positive one I doubt I'd do it again. I planned to only do this a few times a year (maybe three or four) because of the cost.

Thanks again. I'll definitely post back if anything happens (assuming it's not too embarrasing).

Don't fucking pay for sex. Let me repeat that, don't fucking pay for sex. Buy dinner on a date that may lead to sex maybe, but that's the limit.

You already have enough problems with women, you don't need an additionally distorted power relationship where she'll only fuck you for cash. That's not good for self esteem, and judging from the fact that your feelings got involved with your therapist because she was friendly with you, I'm thinking that having a sexual relationship with a GFE type prostitute would probably bring this up.

You're honestly better off picking up the ugliest girl in town than paying a woman for sex. The actual act itself is likely to be far more pleasurable than going to a prostitute, its not going to cost you nearly as much money, and you won't do damage to your self-esteem.

 

[VFaulkon]

Don't fucking pay for sex. Let me repeat that, don't fucking pay for sex. Buy dinner on a date that may lead to sex maybe, but that's the limit.

You already have enough problems with women, you don't need an additionally distorted power relationship where she'll only fuck you for cash. That's not good for self esteem, and judging from the fact that your feelings got involved with your therapist because she was friendly with you, I'm thinking that having a sexual relationship with a GFE type prostitute would probably bring this up.

You're honestly better off picking up the ugliest girl in town than paying a woman for sex. The actual act itself is likely to be far more pleasurable than going to a prostitute, its not going to cost you nearly as much money, and you won't do damage to your self-esteem.

I'm not sure I totally agree with that. Sure, paying to play may not be a great step forward in terms of social skills or relationships, but it's not a step back either, as long as you're aware of the professional boundaries and respect them. From what I've heard from HM, I think he's capable of handling the situation - at least better than before, and each time brings more chances to practice.

Besides, you know what else is bad for the self-esteem? Feeling completely unable to connect with other people, even for one night. Been there, done that, hoping to get a plane ticket out ASAP. Relying solely on an escort for intimacy is a bad idea, but when your life is completely devoid of intimacy altogether, that can easily turn into a dangerous, chronic erosion of self-esteem. I don't see how breaking that cycle (via any legal means) isn't a good idea.

 

[PoeticMusings53]

I'm not sure I totally agree with that. Sure, paying to play may not be a great step forward in terms of social skills or relationships, but it's not a step back either, as long as you're aware of the professional boundaries and respect them. From what I've heard from HM, I think he's capable of handling the situation - at least better than before, and each time brings more chances to practice.

Besides, you know what else is bad for the self-esteem? Feeling completely unable to connect with other people, even for one night. Been there, done that, hoping to get a plane ticket out ASAP. Relying solely on an escort for intimacy is a bad idea, but when your life is completely devoid of intimacy altogether, that can easily turn into a dangerous, chronic erosion of self-esteem. I don't see how breaking that cycle (via any legal means) isn't a good idea.

I think you bring up some good points. Practice would probably be good. I also agree that occasionally connecting with others is a good idea.

Still, with HM's problems with women - which mostly seem to be centered around idealizing pretty much all of them, aka "putting the pussy on a pedestal" - I'm not sure that a "I'll only have sex with you for money" as opposed to "I'll have sex with you because you are a cool guy/good looking/have raw sexual appeal/emotional connection/etc" is in his best interests.

 

[working_girl]

Still, with HM's problems with women - which mostly seem to be centered around idealizing pretty much all of them, aka "putting the pussy on a pedestal" - I'm not sure that a "I'll only have sex with you for money" as opposed to "I'll have sex with you because you are a cool guy/good looking/have raw sexual appeal/emotional connection/etc" is in his best interests.

I don't think it's 'putting pussy on a pedestal' so much as his own low self esteem and those are two different issues. Having said that, what do I know? I've never met the man. Two threads does not an acquaintance make.

Nobody can say whether HM is capable of using an escort service without getting burned except him. At the very least, he has some info and well intentioned advice to go on, which many men in his position do not. I wish him well in whatever he decides to do but I don't feel that I have the right to tell him whether to go ahead and see an escort or not.

 

[incubus_rock]

I read a book recently called secret confessions of a working girl.
I thought it was really interesting and certainly clears up alot of ignorance and prejudices people have towards the area of work.
I have one question but i don't know if your the right person to ask.
Personally i am interested in becoming a male escort. And have no idea where to start. I dare not google it as im sure the sites i wold come across would be ludicrous.

 

[working_girl]

I read a book recently called secret confessions of a working girl.
I thought it was really interesting and certainly clears up alot of ignorance and prejudices people have towards the area of work.
I have one question but i don't know if your the right person to ask.
Personally i am interested in becoming a male escort. And have no idea where to start. I dare not google it as im sure the sites i wold come across would be ludicrous.

Male escorting is becoming more common, especially as more women are climbing career ladders, smashing glass ceilings and increasing their earning power as a result. There is also a big market for bisexual/homosexual escorts. Couples have started booking escorts to engage in threesomes with and so a little heteroflexibility can prove very lucrative.

Setting up a website can cost as little as £10 a month and you can fill out a template and upload photos in a matter of hours. There are a number of adult webhosting companies and they also sell business cards and other stuff that matches their website templates.

It's no longer legal here to advertise in local newspapers but there are ways around that. You can't advertise a escorting website or profile but you can offer 'companionship' and give a phone number. SIM cards are cheap as chips and it will save you having your personal number inundated with horny voicemails at 3am.

Have a gander at adultwork.com and mydungeonspace.com. There's a lot of money to be made in kinkier escorting so sit down and have a think about what you'd be willing to do as an escort and what your limits would be. Do google for male escort agencies in Hampshire because working from an agency offers more protection than working alone. You may scoff at that as a man but once you are alone with a client, they can freely accuse you of theft, rape or anything they like. Also, if you do have male clients, there is always a risk. Dealing with drunk/high horny people is a perk of the job and they can prove volatile and unpredictable.

 

[human_male]

I've been planning to head down to a gentleman's club that's quite near me (by that I mean it's not on the other side of town a two hour bus trip away), and I've got a week off work so I thought this was the best time to go for it. I was so nervous I almost didn't go, but I forced myself to at least go in and enquire, and if I didn't feel like going through with it then that would be fine. But I would at least go and have a look.

Luckily the place was deserted except for the hostess who welcomed me and asked me to have a seat and she'd bring the girls out. I told her I wouldn't really be comfortable with that (for some reason the thought of the meat market-like line up puts me off). So I said if I explained what I was looking for could she just recommend someone for me. She said sure (she was really friendly). So in this bumbling, stammering, barely coherent manner I managed to get out that I was looking for affection and kissing, so the lady had to be ok with kissing. So the hostess went off to consult with the girls and I sat down, overwhelmed with thoughts of "Wow, this is it, I'm actually here."

A minute later she comes back, alone sadly, and said none of the girls in at that time did kissing. She went behind the bar to this little office and produced these cards and started flipping through them, and finally said two of the girls do kissing, but they only work Thursday and Friday nights.

So that was a bit of a let down because I don't think I'd be all that comfortable coming back on Thursday or Friday night when it's busy. It was bad enough when there was just me and the friendly hostess. I was nervous as all hell. I don't think I could do it when it was crowded and noisy. I hate that kind of enviroment anway. I can't stand bars and clubs when they're like that.

So I basically said thanks and left. Now I wish I had at least met one of the girls, or had a look around or something. Anything but leaving right away. I can always go back I suppose and just get a massage, or just sit and pet them or something. At least I would get my hands on a hot girl, but I doubt I would go all the way down there again just for that.

So now I'm kinda stuck wondering what to do.

Maybe I was a bit naive about what to expect from this, you know the kissing thing. I dunno.

Anyway, thanks again everyone.

 

[working_girl]

I'm sorry you didn't get the experience you wanted. I think you were brave to go and check it out though, and right to stick to your guns and leave when what you wanted wasn't possible. Escorts can be an expensive lure and even though the hostess was nice and polite, you didn't let her talk you into paying for a service that you didn't really want. As first forays into the sex industry go, I think you can give yourself some kudos.

I also think you're being realistic and sensible in acknowledging that going there on a Thu or Fri night when it's busy is not right for you. Girls come and go from these places so if you call back in a few weeks they may have a daytime girl who kisses, or maybe on a Mon or Tue night when it's less likely to be busy.

Escorts who call at your house are more likely to kiss than brothel girls. Escorts see 1 or 2 clients per night for an hour or more, whereas depending on location and popularity, brothel girls can be sat there from lunchtime till 3am taking bookings for as little as half an hour. That's a lot of traffic and the clients are less affluent so the girls are less likely to offer intimacies like kissing. Once again, I'm talking about the UK industry here, I really cannot comment on NZ.

I probably made that distinction somewhere down the thread but I lose track of what I've said, what I've pm'd and what I've thought about but not got around to posting.

ETA: As for the line up thing, girls generally come out and say a brief hi, then leave the room while you decide who you'd like to book. You shouldn't have the embarrassment of sitting in front of a number of girls and pointing to one. It's surreal and unnatural but it may prove better than booking a girl blind. Photos can be dated or misleading and often the girls' faces are not shown. I once knew a girl who still used her original photos after she had taken a year off for a pregnancy. Her shape, size and bra size were all quite different. Girls are usually charged for their photo shoot when they join an agency or brothel so they're often loathe to stump the cash up and get themselves re-shot every couple of years.

 

[human_male]

I'm sorry you didn't get the experience you wanted. I think you were brave to go and check it out though, and right to stick to your guns and leave when what you wanted wasn't possible. Escorts can be an expensive lure and even though the hostess was nice and polite, you didn't let her talk you into paying for a service that you didn't really want. As first forays into the sex industry go, I think you can give yourself some kudos.

I also think you're being realistic and sensible in acknowledging that going there on a Thu or Fri night when it's busy is not right for you. Girls come and go from these places so if you call back in a few weeks they may have a daytime girl who kisses, or maybe on a Mon or Tue night when it's less likely to be busy.

Escorts who call at your house are more likely to kiss than brothel girls. Escorts see 1 or 2 clients per night for an hour or more, whereas depending on location and popularity, brothel girls can be sat there from lunchtime till 3am taking bookings for as little as half an hour. That's a lot of traffic and the clients are less affluent so the girls are less likely to offer intimacies like kissing. Once again, I'm talking about the UK industry here, I really cannot comment on NZ.

I probably made that distinction somewhere down the thread but I lose track of what I've said, what I've pm'd and what I've thought about but not got around to posting.

ETA: As for the line up thing, girls generally come out and say a brief hi, then leave the room while you decide who you'd like to book. You shouldn't have the embarrassment of sitting in front of a number of girls and pointing to one. It's surreal and unnatural but it may prove better than booking a girl blind. Photos can be dated or misleading and often the girls' faces are not shown. I once knew a girl who still used her original photos after she had taken a year off for a pregnancy. Her shape, size and bra size were all quite different. Girls are usually charged for their photo shoot when they join an agency or brothel so they're often loathe to stump the cash up and get themselves re-shot every couple of years.

Thanks for your advice and support and everything, working_girl. I had one other question about whether the girls will kiss or not. I may be really naive even asking this but is there usually any flexibility to this? For instance if a girl generally doesn't do it, might she change her policy for the right client? If I had met the girls who said no kissing, is it likely that they'd change their mind, especially if they knew I didn't expect sex from them? I know you can't answer for each individual, but you'd have some idea.

As an alternative to escorts I'm thinking of trying something sweet erica suggested which is to advertise on a singles site and see if any non professional ladies would be interested. We'd meet somewhere public first, have a coffee and if we were both happy then take it from there. It's legal here so there's no worries about that. But I don't know how likely it is that someone who's not already working would want to do that.

Thanks again.

 

[RuneBlade]

Thanks for the great thread, you rock.

Different, obviously, yet related: I went to a strip club for the first time about a year or so I guess. Bought a couple of lap dances and watched the girls on the floor. Was a pretty surreal experience and sensual, despite my nervousness. It was hard not to touch, as the girls that I chose to dance for me were right up my alley and well put together.

Haven't repeated the experience as of yet, but it's contributed to more than one self pleasuring session. Yes indeed, I wanted to bring 'Crystal' home that night!

 

[BrushStrokes]

This is a great thread, hats off to working girl.

At the risk of sounding like some scientist scrutinizing a lab specimen, it has been refreshing to hear the human side of the story from you, WG.

Too often (far too often, imo) people make all kind of assumptions about working girls/ escorts, based on mis-education, arrant assumptions or ego based starting points.

True, there are some people out there that are looking for a connection of some kind....

One girl friend I had once revealed that she was a working girl and I was 'one of the most normal people she knew". Kind of a touchstone to reality, after all the mind games from clients.

Parts of her story echo yours, WG.

it ended, but I do wonder every now and then if she has found a good space in life.....

Cheers to you WG

 

[working_girl]

Thanks for your advice and support and everything, working_girl. I had one other question about whether the girls will kiss or not. I may be really naive even asking this but is there usually any flexibility to this? For instance if a girl generally doesn't do it, might she change her policy for the right client? If I had met the girls who said no kissing, is it likely that they'd change their mind, especially if they knew I didn't expect sex from them? I know you can't answer for each individual, but you'd have some idea.

I wish I could give you a proper answer to that question but as escorts do everything at their own discretion, it varies too wildly. Some will happily kiss most guys, some will happily kiss attractive guys or those they like as people. Some are reluctant to kiss but will do so for a price and probably not enjoy it and some will flat refuse on all counts. Some would kiss if they knew they didn't have to have sex, others would prefer to have you banging away at them than offer the intimacy of kissing. It really is a piece-of-string kind of question. All you can really do is enquire before you book so that the girl knows what you want and has agreed to that before any money has changed hands.

As an alternative to escorts I'm thinking of trying something sweet erica suggested which is to advertise on a singles site and see if any non professional ladies would be interested. We'd meet somewhere public first, have a coffee and if we were both happy then take it from there. It's legal here so there's no worries about that. But I don't know how likely it is that someone who's not already working would want to do that.

Thanks again.

Singles sites and dating sites are becoming increasingly popular and there's less of a stigma attached to online dating services than there used to be. You could maybe start out by saying you seek friendship rather than a full blown relationship and see where that gets you. I don't think you're very likely to find a casual hook-up for kissing but hey, quantum internet physics dictates that if you have thought of something remotely sexual, there's a website devoted to it and at least a hundred people who want it. You'll probably do better to widen your net like that than search locally, in the same place you have always done.

Have you ever posted personals on Lit? If so, how were they received?

 

[working_girl]

Thanks for the great thread, you rock.

Different, obviously, yet related: I went to a strip club for the first time about a year or so I guess. Bought a couple of lap dances and watched the girls on the floor. Was a pretty surreal experience and sensual, despite my nervousness. It was hard not to touch, as the girls that I chose to dance for me were right up my alley and well put together.

Haven't repeated the experience as of yet, but it's contributed to more than one self pleasuring session. Yes indeed, I wanted to bring 'Crystal' home that night!

Yeah. I never considered lapdancing. I'm too short and I have absolutely no aptitude when it comes to dancing, none at all.

Glad you had a good time.

 

[working_girl]

This is a great thread, hats off to working girl.

At the risk of sounding like some scientist scrutinizing a lab specimen, it has been refreshing to hear the human side of the story from you, WG.

Too often (far too often, imo) people make all kind of assumptions about working girls/ escorts, based on mis-education, arrant assumptions or ego based starting points.

True, there are some people out there that are looking for a connection of some kind....

One girl friend I had once revealed that she was a working girl and I was 'one of the most normal people she knew". Kind of a touchstone to reality, after all the mind games from clients.

Parts of her story echo yours, WG.

it ended, but I do wonder every now and then if she has found a good space in life.....

Cheers to you WG

Thanks hon. I've had some really nice pms since I started this thread. Some from guys who have enjoyed escort services, some from girls who used to work or are considering it. Those who are abusive really have no idea what they're talking about. I've never understood people who can mudsling like that from positions of supreme ignorance.

God does not hate me.

God does not hate. Therein lies the fundamental difference between a deity and his DIY, Sunday afternoon biological experiment.

God may well exist and he may well dislike how I live. If he was that bothered however, he would have left humankind more guidance than a poorly translated collection of whimsical fairy tales.

God is welcome to judge me. Everyone else can fuck off and go yank the rafter out of their own eye.

We're a violent, avaricious, greedy, arrogant, lustful and ultimately destructive race that will likely cost the life of every organism on this planet by the time we're done fucking it up. We're inherently sinful, the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. We are no better and better cannot therefore be expected from us.

He who is without sin... would not have a pocket full of stones.