Escorts, prostitutes and paying for sex.

[working_girl]

Has the sex ever been so great that you did not want to stop the session?

A couple of times but rule number 1 of escorting is always leave them wanting more and if the feeling is mutual then I must have been doing something right. Making concessions is a slippery slope to being taken advantage of or confusing a guy into thinking I have more than professional feelings for him. The boundaries are important on both sides. Some escorts will exploit a guy shamelessly if he has romantic feelings for her, they will lead multiple guys along for as long as they can get away with. I have never been able to to that and it's bad for business in the long term anyway.

 

[ZRT]

I am a little jaded but it's given me streetsmarts and I understand men in a way that few women do. I don't suffer fools gladly and I absolutely detest guys who want to rescue me from my deviant lifestyle and show me the error of my ways. I'm more realistic and less blindly romantic than a lot of women but I don't see it as a disadvantage any more.

Where do you feel that women tend to fail in understanding men?

 

[working_girl]

Where do you feel that women tend to fail in understanding men?

I think the most fundamental difference is that men can separate sex and love, whereas many women can't. I know women who feel betrayed if their guy watches porn or they catch him masturbating. I'm more pragmatic and less emotionally driven than a lot of women I know. It's the whole Mars/Venus thing. I have spent enough time with men to have a greater insight than a lot of women who maybe spend most of their time with other girls, except when in a relationship. I get most of the 'Men are from Mars, women are from Venus' stuff than most women I know who are not in the sex industry. This is just my opinion based on little more than my own experience.

 

[satindesire]

Where do you do most of your clothes shopping?

And, do you have 'work clothes' and 'everyday clothes' or do you dress in the same style whether you're on the clock or not?

 

[working_girl]

Where do you do most of your clothes shopping?

And, do you have 'work clothes' and 'everyday clothes' or do you dress in the same style whether you're on the clock or not?

For work clothes, dress agencies, outlet stores, TK Maxx and places like that. For undies, anywhere from Primark through Pillow Talk to La Senza, all depends what catches my eye.

When I'm not working, I live in jeans and casual clothes. I only wear make up when going out somewhere nice so that my sensitive skin gets a breather and I look very little like my professional self. Not everyone has this huge difference between work and personal wear but it suits me.

 

[ZRT]

I wanted to revisit this one:

Escorts make a lucrative business out of exploiting affluent men who are dissatisfied sexually and they do it on their own terms.

Technically, any commercial transaction is exploiting a market, but did you mean 'exploit' in the sense that you feel you are using your customers, or essentially getting one over on them?

 

[working_girl]

I wanted to revisit this one:



Technically, any commercial transaction is exploiting a market, but did you mean 'exploit' in the sense that you feel you are using your customers, or essentially getting one over on them?

It's a business, a transaction or exchange. A voluntary sex worker in that sense is no more or less exploited than the client who exchanges cash for an experience rather then something tangible like goods, that can be exchanged onwards for other things of equal value. I used the word to show that it could conceivably be applied to either side of the bargain, not to express a personal view. Sometimes I feel like I've been made to work for my cash, other times that I have the better end of the deal. It varies, it all varies. It's an incredibly fluid profession and adaptability is a key element in succeeding in escorting.

ZRT, You're asking me for a concrete viewpoint or opinion but when you deal with people all the time, every situation is completely different. They are simply not comparable and so to expect me to have a single opinion on anything that can be applied to every client I meet is very naive and unrealistic. It's like asking a doctor how he feels about patients; they're all too unique for him to even begin to express a general view.

 

[ZRT]

It's a business, a transaction or exchange. A voluntary sex worker in that sense is no more or less exploited than the client who exchanges cash for an experience rather then something tangible like goods, that can be exchanged onwards for other things of equal value. I used the word to show that it could conceivably be applied to either side of the bargain, not to express a personal view.

I was wondering if you were explicitly inverting the typical stereotype there. Thanks for the clarification.

 

[ZRT]

Another question- you seem to be fairly empathic. Do you have difficulties in maintaining professional detachment at times?

 

[birdie87]

awsome, interesting post.

it's funny, a fair few girls i know still have the old mentality with their boyfriends that sex is like some kind of transaction. they give a man sex and he gives them commitment and stability lol. i don't mean overtly but quite subtly.

i don't find escorting bad whatsoever, as long as the decision is made with a balanced objective mind. there are of course some girls are forced into etc. which is bad.

I also perosnally have been friends with a couple of girls who were ex-escorts and they seem to me pretty self confident, intelligence and self-respecting. theres so much bad cliche attatched to escorts. I think it's pretty self respecting to have a job doing something you enjoy and getting paid a shitload for it, i would if i could! i think your average office work farm office worker is getting far more exploited than any escort.

two questions:

i thought once about hiring an escort, mainly just to tell her look i'm 21, have a few girls goin in my life but i want to get realllllllly good. teach me how to please you and just get me amazing in the bedroom. i thought it'd be great to have non of the games and guesswork and insecurities of normal f-buddies and stuff that i have. but it would just be too expensive to get lessons i guess hehe and not something that would sort me out in a one hour session.

in fact it's amazing how turned off to the idea some girls i'm in a sexual relationship are sometimes. i've been wiht much older chicks, the idea kinda turns me on anyway kinda like a sugar momma or something. but anyway i said to them hey look, you be completely honest with me and try everything out you wanna try out, i'll be your sex slave you can call on 24/7 or whatever, just teach me exactly how to please you best. they didn't like it, i guess a guy who knows everything or thinks he does is more sexy to a woman. ok i'm sidetracking....

have you ever had any requests like that, a guy who's shy or whatever wanting to get more comfortable with it or be taught?

also, how much time do you put into your job, how much time does it take up?
how much do you put into maintainence and marketing and stuff, how much time are you actually spending doing the... physical work per week?

 

[DarkAmaranth]

To working_girl:

I've never spoken to an escort before, or indeed know that much about the details of the job, so thankyou for your thread. It's been so interesting to find out more and I must say that I admire your strength of personality immensely

 

[Nightbird]

So I'm curious..

Do you think it's possible to have a romantic relationship with someone while being a prostitute?

I mean with someone who isnt a client..

 

[romantic_always]

Do you have any family members/ close friends who are opposed to your line of work? If so, how do you handle it?

Also, is this something you want to do for the rest of your working life, or do you have some other ambitions in mind?

 

[working_girl]

Another question- you seem to be fairly empathic. Do you have difficulties in maintaining professional detachment at times?

At times but time and experience have made me more resilient than I used to be. All it does if I let my guard down is put me at a disadvantage and make things awkward. I can also send out the wrong signals if I'm too interested in a client on a personal level and that's just not fair to either of us. A degree of professional detachment is mandatory. A nurse or psychiatrist can be empathic and compassionate but still has to know where to draw the line and where her professional responsibility ends. It's a similar kind of thing.

 

[working_girl]

awsome, interesting post.

it's funny, a fair few girls i know still have the old mentality with their boyfriends that sex is like some kind of transaction. they give a man sex and he gives them commitment and stability lol. i don't mean overtly but quite subtly.

I've seen that too, in close personal friends. It always makes me chuckle.

i thought once about hiring an escort, mainly just to tell her look i'm 21, have a few girls goin in my life but i want to get realllllllly good. teach me how to please you and just get me amazing in the bedroom. i thought it'd be great to have non of the games and guesswork and insecurities of normal f-buddies and stuff that i have. but it would just be too expensive to get lessons i guess hehe and not something that would sort me out in a one hour session.

in fact it's amazing how turned off to the idea some girls i'm in a sexual relationship are sometimes. i've been wiht much older chicks, the idea kinda turns me on anyway kinda like a sugar momma or something. but anyway i said to them hey look, you be completely honest with me and try everything out you wanna try out, i'll be your sex slave you can call on 24/7 or whatever, just teach me exactly how to please you best. they didn't like it, i guess a guy who knows everything or thinks he does is more sexy to a woman. ok i'm sidetracking....

have you ever had any requests like that, a guy who's shy or whatever wanting to get more comfortable with it or be taught?

Sometimes. I was once an 18yr old's birthday present. His friends all chipped in to hire me for an hour because he was still a virgin. He was a really sweet bloke.

Unfortunately, there's no magic technique I can teach a guy that enables him to please any woman because women are all very different. I can give general pointers and teach him what gets me going but that advice won't apply to every woman he encounters.

also, how much time do you put into your job, how much time does it take up?
how much do you put into maintainence and marketing and stuff, how much time are you actually spending doing the... physical work per week?

Once again, it varies. An ideal for me is 3 or 4 bookings per week of 2 hours or more. As a very rough estimate, I spend about 50% of each booking actually engaging in sexual activity.

 

[working_girl]

To working_girl:

I've never spoken to an escort before, or indeed know that much about the details of the job, so thankyou for your thread. It's been so interesting to find out more and I must say that I admire your strength of personality immensely

Thank you.

 

[working_girl]

So I'm curious..

Do you think it's possible to have a romantic relationship with someone while being a prostitute?

I mean with someone who isnt a client..

It's possible and I've tried it in the past. The only way it works is if it's open on both sides as few men can handle my job and entertain the idea of being faithful to me. That escorting is my work and not a personal thing doesn't seem to matter.

After a while though, it gets to them. They can't tell friends or family what I do and a web of lies must be spun. They get paranoid that I'll spot a client when we're out together (not that I'd say anything if I did) or that someone they know will find out what I do. They get paranoid about STDs or they sleep around to prove a point - not really because they want to. In the end, resentments fester and the guy realises that dating an escort is not one neverending masturbatory fantasy. There are a few guys who can genuinely handle it but I only know that because they're already dating an escort I know. C'est la vie.

I've bumped into a few guys lately who might have the potential to handle it but right now, I'm just not interested. Dating a guy while escorting requires a lot of open communication and plenty of attention and affection must be lavished on a guy (and rightly so) so that he feels as special to me as he should do. All that is a bit of an effort for me right now though. I leave clients feeling drained and after spending hours being sociable, polite, diplomatic, flattering, attentive and so on, the last thing I want to do when I get home is start over again. Clients are emotional parasites, it's what they pay the fee for - so it can be all about them.

I'm a little jaded when it comes to relationships these days, I think the best course is just to leave commitment until I've moved on to a different trade.

 

[working_girl]

Do you have any family members/ close friends who are opposed to your line of work? If so, how do you handle it?

They don't know what I do. I have very little contact with them anyway. It's a long story.

Also, is this something you want to do for the rest of your working life, or do you have some other ambitions in mind?

No. I have no intention of moving up into the 'mature' category.

Right now I have options. I have money and assets squirrelled away from the taxman and a couple of potential business ideas/options. I look younger than I am and could conceivably work as an escort for another 5 or maybe even 10 years if I took care of myself. I don't intend to do that but it means the option is there to return to escorting if other ventures don't work out. I'm planning to be out of the game and established in business by 2010 but things will overlap somewhat.

 

[romantic_always]

I give you a lot of credit for being able to keep this strictly a business transaction. I think I'd have a hard time with that.

Does it ever get lonely, not having someone as a constant in your life as a significant other? I could see that being one of the bigger downfalls.

 

[Nightbird]

Working Girl,

Thank you for answering my question.

 

[CanadianCum]

Working girl

Have you ever paid for sex yourself or ever entertained the idea of having someone do what you want for as long as you want.

 

[ZRT]

How did you acquire your professional ethic? Something you've always had, mentoring, the product of experience?

 

[working_girl]

I give you a lot of credit for being able to keep this strictly a business transaction. I think I'd have a hard time with that.

Does it ever get lonely, not having someone as a constant in your life as a significant other? I could see that being one of the bigger downfalls.

Not really. The wants and needs that most people fulfil in a SO I fulfil with a combination of good industry friends, good long standing friends and playmates. I don't feel at this stage that I'm missing out on much and I have actually had some wonderful experiences through my chosen trade. It depends whether having a cohabiting SO and stability like that is important to you. I depend on no-one but crucially, no-one depends on me. I can manage my work time and free time without reference to anyone else and live my fairly carefree life exactly as I choose. I'm also spared the mundanities of long term relationships like winding up with the lions share of the housework, being taken for granted or losing the spark from a relationship.

There's a great freedom in being completely your own person and my life is still rich and full of love. I have friends that I know would be there for me through thick and thin because I've had the freedom to drop everything and be there for them. I'm not getting broody or worrying myself about the future, I'm enjoying the here and now. If I fall for Mr Right tomorrow, this world view will probably swiftly invert itself but for now, I am pretty content.

 

[working_girl]

Working girl

Have you ever paid for sex yourself or ever entertained the idea of having someone do what you want for as long as you want.

No. I'd spot the little pro tricks and mannerisms too swiftly and it would be too surreal for words. I like spark and spontaneity in my playmates and with the people I have had fun with over the years, there's no agenda beyond shared companionship and pleasure. If you throw a cash transaction into the mix, there's an agenda and for that reason alone, I simply wouldn't go there.

 

[working_girl]

How did you acquire your professional ethic? Something you've always had, mentoring, the product of experience?

A little of all of the above really. I couldn't say what the biggest influence was. I have a healthy sense of self preservation and you don't last long in my game unless you draw a set of huge, bolded lines and refrain from ever crossing them. Escorts are still quite vulnerable and I have found that remaining calm, polite and diplomatic but firm is the only way to let down a fragile male ego without bad feeling or even violence ensuing. Some men have porn fuelled or romanticized ideas about escorts and expect things that within the trade, are unreasonable. Denying them their little fantasises is bound to make them feel resentful or even cheated but it has to be done.

Sometimes there really isn't room for poilteness. For example, occasionally I still get offered extra money for bareback sex or wind up with a guy who tries to wheedle his way out of wearing a condom. I don't know what planet these guys live on but you can't go acting as though they're not being utterly stupid and unreasonable. I generally refuse firmly once, then read them the riot act if they persist. If that doesn't get the message across I leave.