yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
I did *grins* actualy severalSavageGenius said:
Fall Charlotte Litogether
- Thread starter yourdestonie
- Start date
SavageGenius
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 3,901
yourdestonie said:
Definately not...and not what I got it for either...but it worked....just won't do it again....
yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
it rained here this afternoon like pouring pee out of a boot.SavageGenius said:
yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
yeah I hate to waste good meet in the oven with a grill handy.SavageGenius said:
SavageGenius
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 3,901
yourdestonie said:I did *grins* actualy several
Sorry...I know how you tell stories...like how penis size doesn't matter....LMFAO!!!!
SavageGenius
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 3,901
yourdestonie said:
Not a drop here...not even that humid....
SavageGenius
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 3,901
yourdestonie said:
Meat in the oven, huh?
yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
Well I never said a thing about thatSavageGenius said:
and Sweetie it really does not matter
yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
its over now but this afternoo it was sink or swimSavageGenius said:
yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
No damn it not even in the fridgeSavageGenius said:
SavageGenius
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 3,901
yourdestonie said:Well I never said a thing about that
and Sweetie it really does not matter
I never said it did....in the last day or so anyway....
SavageGenius
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 3,901
yourdestonie said:No damn it not even in the fridge
That's OK...I got an electric oven and a toaster oven and neither one of them is what I really want....LOL
yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
LMAO yeah but you still think itSavageGenius said:I never said it did....in the last day or so anyway....
yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
I know that feelingSavageGenius said:
yourdestonie
Countess Pervetta
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2002
- Posts
- 52,549
*grins* thanks Sexy I needed to get up early this morning anywayRicoh said:* Peaks head in and see's Tonie sleeping... Runs thru and smacks her arse and runs off laughing hysterically towards work...*
sxluvncpl
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2003
- Posts
- 302
lunarsubmissive said:
My sentiments exactly!!!....but of course not according to him....no.... not ever.... and he is supposed to be so innocent and such a good influence on everyone....uhmmm...YEAH RIGHT LMAO....he is constantly having to reply to people "WHAT....I am?"
because we are looking at him with a look of who do you think you are fooling!!!!!
SavageGenius
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 3,901
yourdestonie said:LMAO yeah but you still think it
Only on days ending with 'y'...
SavageGenius
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Posts
- 3,901
yourdestonie said:I know that feeling
You do?
I might have forgotten it.....
LunarKitten
moo says the mommie cow
- Joined
- May 23, 2002
- Posts
- 19,379
SavageGenius said:
Oh, shit!!!
Ya'll start building the ark!!!
sxluvncpl
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2003
- Posts
- 302
yourdestonie said:Excuse me just exactly how many of us do you think believe that????
There you go.....don't believe him totally....if you want to know something just ask me and JD!!!!
LMAO...just thinking about when he reads this....he will be going no no no no no....don't do that!!!!
LunarKitten
moo says the mommie cow
- Joined
- May 23, 2002
- Posts
- 19,379
Ricoh said:
Are you evolving already?
Gotta get gills instead of a tank, with all the rain that's bound to fall now lol
LunarKitten
moo says the mommie cow
- Joined
- May 23, 2002
- Posts
- 19,379
From a Friend of a Friend of a Friend, etc.
This was too cute...had to share. Of course, the One who sent this too me said it reminded Her of me, since a Taser is like a mini cattle prod *giggles*
******************************************************
Dear Friends,
My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to! "Well, I have out done myself once again." No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a Life Time movie in the near future.
Here goes.
Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled).
I bought something really cool for Toni. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety.
The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect.
I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Gracie) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Toni to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time. So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this little device(measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!" Friggin' way - trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself. What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?)
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Gracie was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh)
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. They're round, rather large, kinda hairy, and handsome if I must say so myself. Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em back.
This was too cute...had to share. Of course, the One who sent this too me said it reminded Her of me, since a Taser is like a mini cattle prod *giggles*
******************************************************
Dear Friends,
My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to! "Well, I have out done myself once again." No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a Life Time movie in the near future.
Here goes.
Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled).
I bought something really cool for Toni. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety.
The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect.
I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Gracie) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Toni to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time. So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this little device(measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!" Friggin' way - trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself. What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?)
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Gracie was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh)
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. They're round, rather large, kinda hairy, and handsome if I must say so myself. Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em back.
