Fall Charlotte Litogether

[Ricoh]

Are you evolving already? Gotta get gills instead of a tank, with all the rain that's bound to fall now lol

Good thing I had the tank today!!!! The water was so stired up I had a couple fish ask me to clean there gills for them!!!! But still had a decent time. Nice weather and a so so day of diving is better then work anyday!!!!

 

[LunarKitten]

Good thing I had the tank today!!!! The water was so stired up I had a couple fish ask me to clean there gills for them!!!! But still had a decent time. Nice weather and a so so day of diving is better then work anyday!!!!

I'm feeling a little jealous...and I don't even dive!

Grumbles about people being off work while she's slaving away behind a desk under a bunch of papers

 

[yourdestonie]

My sentiments exactly!!!....but of course not according to him....no.... not ever.... and he is supposed to be so innocent and such a good influence on everyone....uhmmm...YEAH RIGHT LMAO....he is constantly having to reply to people "WHAT....I am?"
because we are looking at him with a look of who do you think you are fooling!!!!!

I know better *giggles*

 

[yourdestonie]

Only on days ending with 'y'...

How many times I got ta tell ya???

 

[yourdestonie]

You do?

I might have forgotten it.....

*giggles* It will come back to ya its like riding a bike ya never really forget

 

[yourdestonie]

Oh, shit!!!

Ya'll start building the ark!!!

Passes out the life jackets

 

[yourdestonie]

*Peeks in wearing his dive gear (BC, Mask, tank, and fins in hand... No clthes)*

Someone say something about an Ark?

*giggles* You look sexy it that face mask

 

[yourdestonie]

There you go.....don't believe him totally....if you want to know something just ask me and JD!!!!

LMAO...just thinking about when he reads this....he will be going no no no no no....don't do that!!!!

Actually I got the go ahead to ask anything I wanted *grins*

thinking up the really good questions

 

[yourdestonie]

Re: From a Friend of a Friend of a Friend, etc.

This was too cute...had to share. Of course, the One who sent this too me said it reminded Her of me, since a Taser is like a mini cattle prod *giggles*


******************************************************
Dear Friends,

My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to! "Well, I have out done myself once again." No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a Life Time movie in the near future.

Here goes.

Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled).

I bought something really cool for Toni. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety.

The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect.

I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Gracie) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Toni to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time. So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this little device(measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!" Friggin' way - trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself. What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?)

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Gracie was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh)

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. They're round, rather large, kinda hairy, and handsome if I must say so myself. Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em back.

OMG ROFLMFAOPDML!!!!! I laughed so hard I cried.

 

[yourdestonie]

Good thing I had the tank today!!!! The water was so stired up I had a couple fish ask me to clean there gills for them!!!! But still had a decent time. Nice weather and a so so day of diving is better then work anyday!!!!

I've always wanted to learn how to dive

 

[1sexylady]

HHHHHHHHeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooo EVERYONE


Lunar... That was sooooooooo fucking funny....

Tonie...You can't dive???

 

[Ricoh]

I'm feeling a little jealous...and I don't even dive!

Grumbles about people being off work while she's slaving away behind a desk under a bunch of papers

Now Loony....
Why would you be jealous of anything???? I share!!!

And I am the wrong person to be grumbling about work... I am at work over 140 hours in a pay period (2wks)

 

[Ricoh]

I've always wanted to learn how to dive

MMmph.. Ugg Mmph!!!!

Leaving that one alone.

 

[Ricoh]

Oh, shit!!!

Ya'll start building the ark!!!

To quote a quote someone once told me....

"Oh Shit is not a safe word!!!"

 

[Ricoh]

Off to work, I left some doughnuts and coffee... See ya.

 

[coyotepondering]

Oh, shit!!!

Ya'll start building the ark!!!

Hey, Shango and Thor called earlier. They said don't worry about the rain, they've got lightning plenty.

 

[coyotepondering]

I'm feeling a little jealous...and I don't even dive!

Grumbles about people being off work while she's slaving away behind a desk under a bunch of papers

*snore* *snore* *snore*

Sorry, was something saying something?

*looks around, returns to nap*

 

[coyotepondering]

Actually I got the go ahead to ask anything I wanted *grins*

thinking up the really good questions

Now, this sounds like a good group effort. I think that between all of us we can come up with some good questions.

 

[coyotepondering]

I've always wanted to learn how to dive

Well, you know how to go down and control your breathing right?

Hey, maybe we should have our next litogether in Florida.... somewhere with nice beach access...

 

[coyotepondering]

MMmph.. Ugg Mmph!!!!

Leaving that one alone.

I know, I just couldn't.

 

[LunarKitten]

HHHHHHHHeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooo EVERYONE


Lunar... That was sooooooooo fucking funny....

Tonie...You can't dive???

*smoochies and hugs and cuddles and snuggles*

 

[LunarKitten]

Now Loony....
Why would you be jealous of anything???? I share!!!

And I am the wrong person to be grumbling about work... I am at work over 140 hours in a pay period (2wks)

Hmmm...ok, you have me beat...but only by 20-30 hours or so lol

 

[LunarKitten]

To quote a quote someone once told me....

"Oh Shit is not a safe word!!!"

This is true...not even for cattle prods

 

[LunarKitten]

Hey, Shango and Thor called earlier. They said don't worry about the rain, they've got lightning plenty.

Oh boy...lightening AND water

 

[LunarKitten]

*snore* *snore* *snore*

Sorry, was something saying something?

*looks around, returns to nap*