Filthy answers to innocent questions.

Because Virginia hasn’t been a virgin for a very long time!

Where is Humptulips?
Originally in Washington, though it has spread to every place that's hard to pole. After finding it too hard to pole, a man might turn to lip humping to gain some relief for his hard pole.

What is the main occupation in Dildo, Newfoundland?
 
Originally in Washington, though it has spread to every place that's hard to pole. After finding it too hard to pole, a man might turn to lip humping to gain some relief for his hard pole.

What is the main occupation in Dildo, Newfoundland?
Perhaps oddly, they're famous for their chocolatiers' specialty candies, but since they ship them internationally, most of the town works at fudge packing.

Who wants to dance?
 
Show me the pole, and I'll fetch my Pleasers.

What constitutes a crowd?
Three - one in the mouth, one in the pussy, one in the butt. It's where the phrase "three's a crowd" comes from of course.

How has the decline of coal affected middle-America?
 
The popular social event of Pit Night where young women descend into pitch blackness for an evening of dirty pleasure has, sadly, given way to cleaner pastimes, it must be said.

What use is quartz?
 
(You forgot to leave an innocent question; I'll take "What is Scrabble?" as the question).

Scrabble is an adult party game wherein the players doff all their and jumble them up in a pile (separate by sex or all together, depending on the players decision). Each player draws a garment in turn from the appropriate pile until all the garments are taken. Starting in counter-clockwise rotation, the players assemble their garments into an ensemble and then choose a fellow player to dress up, being sure to provide appropriate sexual stimulation to each body part as it is redressed.

What's the difference between soccer and football?
 
(You forgot to leave an innocent question; I'll take "What is Scrabble?" as the question).

Scrabble is an adult party game wherein the players doff all their and jumble them up in a pile (separate by sex or all together, depending on the players decision). Each player draws a garment in turn from the appropriate pile until all the garments are taken. Starting in counter-clockwise rotation, the players assemble their garments into an ensemble and then choose a fellow player to dress up, being sure to provide appropriate sexual stimulation to each body part as it is redressed.

What's the difference between soccer and football?
Soccer is BDSM kicking to get the ball where you want it while football is rubbing and passing the ball until there is a touch down!

What's the difference between vanilla and French vanilla flavoring?
 
Soccer is BDSM kicking to get the ball where you want it while football is rubbing and passing the ball until there is a touch down!

What's the difference between vanilla and French vanilla flavoring?
In French vanilla, your tongue does its tasting outside your mouth.

Why are the English known for having a stiff upper lip?
 
Unless, that is, you are the dread pirate roberts, and we know all about pirates, don't we?

What is iocane powder?
 
Unless, that is, you are the dread pirate roberts, and we know all about pirates, don't we?

What is iocane powder?

It’s the most exotic aphrodisiac you can imagine. Odorless, tasteless, dissolves in shaken alcohol, is almost instantaneous in effect.

No, I don’t need it. I’m also immune.

Who was that masked man?
 
It’s the most exotic aphrodisiac you can imagine. Odorless, tasteless, dissolves in shaken alcohol, is almost instantaneous in effect.

No, I don’t need it. I’m also immune.

Who was that masked man?
That was no ordinary masked man; that was the Lone Ravisher, a man with a cock the size of a horse. (or was that a horse the size of a cock?)

Why do they say "Oh! Susannah?"
 
That was no ordinary masked man; that was the Lone Ravisher, a man with a cock the size of a horse. (or was that a horse the size of a cock?)

Why do they say "Oh! Susannah?"
You would, too right after she sucked you off!

Why do people double sheet beds?
 
Because with trousers, they grew weary of explaining that no, they did not have asymmetrical thighs.

What kind of thing is a chicken wing?
(Apropos of the kilt question:
)

Proper orthography would have it as "Chick 'n' Wing." It refers to sharing the chick you picked-up with your wing man because he did such a good job of setting you up.

Why is McDonald's so popular?
 
I misread that and thought it said LEGOVER


What makes Halloween so happy?
 
I misread that and thought it said LEGOVER


What makes Halloween so happy?
All the fun activities: costuming, trick-or-treating, bobbing for apples, fucking a carven gourd...

Why do they call it Black Friday?
 
All the fun activities: costuming, trick-or-treating, bobbing for apples, fucking a carven gourd...

Why do they call it Black Friday?
The full name is Black Bull Friday. Black Friday for short.

Why does Santa come down the chimney?
 
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