Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[Micio_Lambire]

A woman named Mariella. She speaks in tongues when she has an orgasm, so. when a vintner has a new product, he gets a well-hung stud for Mariella, and she reciprocates with a name for the new wine.

Isn't glossolalia a purely religious phenomenon?

I suppose that depends upon whether or not the pastor accepts the gift of the tongues...

Do you enjoy giving or receiving presents more?

 

[AlinaX]

Presents make me tense, in a good way.

Why hasn't time travel been invented yet?

 

[Rustyoznail]

Presents make me tense, in a good way.

Why hasn't time travel been invented yet?

Because scientists know too many people will want to go back and fuck their grandparents. Including them...

When do you put up your Christmas decorations?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Because scientists know too many people will want to go back and fuck their grandparents. Including them...

When do you put up your Christmas decorations?

Not before you're well lubed, properly stretched and totally, completely relaxed. I'm serious!

Yoga or pilates?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Not before you're well lubed, properly stretched and totally, completely relaxed. I'm serious!

Yoga or pilates?

Yoga provides for better poses for sexual activities.

What does 'pirated' mean?

 

[AlinaX]

Getting arrrsed.

Why's it called the Jolly Roger?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Getting arrrsed.

Why's it called the Jolly Roger?

"Roger" was a traditional nickname for pirates, and they always were quite jolly after capturing a ship full of mail-order brides.

What's a 'mail order?'

 

[Wand3rlust]

"Roger" was a traditional nickname for pirates, and they always were quite jolly after capturing a ship full of mail-order brides.

What's a 'mail order?'

lie down and shut the fuck up, that cock is mine

What's Thanksgiving?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

lie down and shut the fuck up, that cock is mine

What's Thanksgiving?

It's a special time of year when 'birds' need to be well-stuffed.

Is a "Jack O' Lantern" an old-fashioned "Fleshlight?"

 

[Bamagan]

It's a special time of year when 'birds' need to be well-stuffed.

Is a "Jack O' Lantern" an old-fashioned "Fleshlight?"

Obviously not, since a fleshlight is a fake pussy; they're more akin to a prototype RealDoll, but mind the candle!

What kind of bunny lays chocolate eggs?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Obviously not, since a fleshlight is a fake pussy; they're more akin to a prototype RealDoll, but mind the candle!

What kind of bunny lays chocolate eggs?

Some snow bunnies love chocolate cocks. But cocks don't lay eggs.

When does winter start?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Some snow bunnies love chocolate cocks. But cocks don't lay eggs.

When does winter start?

When you have to remove coats before getting at the rest of the clothes.

We know Hallowe'en comes with Jack-Off Lanterns, but why aren't there Jill-Off Lanterns?

 

[Bamagan]

When you have to remove coats before getting at the rest of the clothes.

We know Hallowe'en comes with Jack-Off Lanterns, but why aren't there Jill-Off Lanterns?

Probably because the market is saturated with glow-in-the-dark dildos.

What's the best handout for trick-or-treaters?

 

[Rustyoznail]

Probably because the market is saturated with glow-in-the-dark dildos.

What's the best handout for trick-or-treaters?

I find they're appreciative of anything they can get their lips around.

Who likes pumpkin spice?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I find they're appreciative of anything they can get their lips around.

Who likes pumpkin spice?

I always did. She was the plumpest of the Spice Girls, and, though she looked hard on the outside, I imagined she was soft and warm once you got inside.

Why do girls take ballet lessons?

 

[AlinaX]

Ever since Leda got seduced by Zeus, women have had a thing for swans.

Why did feathers evolve?

 

[Rustyoznail]

Why did feathers evolve?

Because scales are terrible to tickle with.

Is double glazing worth the money?

 

[AlinaX]

It's not called the money shot for nothing.

Why do people get married?

 

[Handydan]

It's not called the money shot for nothing.

Why do people get married?

So there can be wife swapping.

Can you lay pipe on a radius?

 

[AlinaX]

Yes... but hosiery is safer and sexier.

What is a carcass?

 

[Bamagan]

So there can be wife swapping.

Can you lay pipe on a radius?

A master cocksman can lay pipe on any bone in the human body, although the three bones of the inner ear are still best left alone.

Why do they call it a monkey wrench?

Edit: One stroke too slow!

 

[AchtungNight]

What is a carcass?

How you’ll feel when I’m done with you. Now get on the bed.

Why do they call it a monkey wrench?

Because it can be used to wrench open monkeys… and your ass.

What is the most accurate way to describe humanity?

 

[Bamagan]

What is the most accurate way to describe humanity?

Verbally, but interpretive dance is sometimes effective.

What kind of pebble is in my shoe?

 

[Rustyoznail]

What kind of pebble is in my shoe?

I'm sorry, it looks like one of my kidney stones.

Tea or coffee?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

When the doctor has his finger up there, he's not telling me turn my head and tea!

What's the best game to play on the Vegas Strip?

La Roulette Déshabillée; whether noir ou rouge, it's a win-win game.

Why is Bizet's Carmen so popular?