funny sayings

[Kitschshaman]

truths...

“Aim towards the Enemy.” - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.” - U.S. Army
“Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.” - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” - Infantry Journal
“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” - Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance
“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” - U.S. Air Force Manual
“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.” - Infantry Journal
“Tracers work both ways.” - U.S. Army Ordnance
“Five-second fuses only last three seconds.” - Infantry Journal
“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.” - Col. David Hackworth
“If your attack is going too well, you’re probably walking into an ambush.” - Infantry Journal
“No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.” - Joe Gay
“Any ship can be a minesweeper … once.” - Anonymous
“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” - Unknown Army Recruit
“Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.” - Your Buddies
(And lastly)
“If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.” - U.S. Ammo Troop

 

[yowser]

He was a minefield of information.

This is a work of friction.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

"I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse."

- King Sigismund II of Hungary

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

"Just 'cause a cat has kittens in the oven, ain't no sign they're biscuits."

 

[bone251]

Doesn't suffer from stress, she's a carrier.

 

[Kitschshaman]

'Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.'

 

[davion2308]

Never

One of the "Hints" from Warcraft back when it was a locally played game.

"Never pet a burning dog."

That's good advice.

 

[Kitschshaman]

'The guy would be out of his depth in a mud puddle.'

 

[Brutal_One]

More from my AD&D RPG days

You stab em, we slab em

‘At least I don’t have pubes on my face’ {for characters with a Venetian goatee}

 

[yowser]

Simile dept:

She was sweating like a whore in church.

I felt lower than a mole's ankles.

 

[bone251]

You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter

 

[bone251]

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So, I had to put my foot down.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter

Actually, the Mythbusters disproved that saying. You can now polish a turd.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Even a bad fuck is better than a bad day at work.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Insanity is hereditary. You inherit it from your children.

 

[lovecraft68]

A t-shirt I saw that's relevant to the times:

You can't fix stupid, nor can you quarantine it

 

[jehoram]

When you pull the pin out, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.

 

[bone251]

Madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory

 

[Handley_Page]

A t-shirt I saw that's relevant to the times:

You can't fix stupid, nor can you quarantine it

Given the beach chaos seen recently, it's true !

 

[jehoram]

"He's so tall he could hunt geese with a rake."

 

[R. Richard]

Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt!

 

[Jasminelit]

"A horse a piece" basically means it's more or less equal. I used to think everyone knew what that meant until I lived in Montana for a year and I said it. I got a few odd looks...

 

[Phantom300]

I wouldn't piss on (him/her) if they were on fire

Kill two stones with one bird

 

[TxRad]

I wouldn't piss on (him/her) if they were on fire

Kill two stones with one bird

I'd rather get stoned with two birds.

From somewhere in the late 60's, I think.

 

[Kitschshaman]

"That man could tear up a railroad track with a rubber hammer."