funny sayings

[ecorche]

I credit my dad with these. He was raised in the rural midwest and spent his life as a trucker:

"You can't put a luggage rack on your casket."

"You know it's a good restaurant if it's got a place to park your semi."

Of a stingy person:
"He's tighter than bark on a tree."

("Tighter than bark on a tree" ... Have to use that in my next erotic short story ...

 

[bone251]

When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.

 

[bone251]

He was happily married, but his wife wasn't.

 

[bone251]

Failure has gone to his head.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

If he ever collided with Smart, the resulting subatomic reaction would level the city.

 

[glynndah]

"She's not the sharpest crayon in the cookie jar."

"... since God was a child." {A very long time ago}

"Might as well. Can't dance." {agreeing to something less than enthusiastically}

 

[RustyIron]

"Well, that's as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike."

"Man, that dude would be out of his depth in a car park puddle"

 

[Polranny]

"He's Two apples short of a picnic"

 

[glynndah]

"Grinning like a possum eating yellow jackets."

 

[mynameisben]

It's good to see you, you good little witch, you.

 

[bone251]

It is hard to kiss the lips that chew your ass all day long.

 

[bone251]

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."

 

[bone251]

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder would notice her.

 

[TxRad]

"Fuck a duck running up a tree."

Don't ask, I don't have an answer, one way or the other.

One from my grandfather. "You might get too old to cut the mustard but you can always lick the bowl."

Granny always had this cute little grin on her face. I always wondered.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

"Well steal my clothes and fuck me running."

No idea what it means, just something my sister would sometimes say in the middle of telling a story about something or another.

 

[Weird Harold]

``````

 

[bone251]

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

 

[MsInsatiahell]

“It's all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye, then it's just fun you can't see.”

 

[bone251]

Music/ Band promo

We suck, we blow, we bang. How many tickets do you want?

 

[davet_1_1]

From an Australian former colleague: "I'm not here to fuck spiders."

 

[Jada59]

If I asked my mom what something was for, she always responded:

"Cat fur to make little kitten britches!"

 

[AlexBailey]

I'm not one of us.

If I had a million dollars I'd give you one.

You must be as smart as you look.

And they're off like a prom dress.

In order for it to be a redneck sport you have to burn something, beat something, or kill something.

Home honey, I'm high!

I think I've finally remembered everything I forgot.

 

[Seduc2ove]

Every cloud has a Silver lining

 

[bone251]

I just read a book titled Daisy the emotional cow. It was Mooooody

 

[bone251]

So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap?