General bitch followed by a question

[Spinaroonie]

Sever his penis using a kitchen knife then throw it from a window.
































Then shoot him in the face.

 

[ozraven]

Sever his penis using a kitchen knife then throw it from a window.



Then shoot him in the face.

A butter knife would be more appropriate don't you think......

Actually Mstrskey, I hope it works out for you in a good way, no doubt being pregnant you feel vulnerable anough without the pressure of relationship issues as well........

Good on your family, blood is thicker than water, it is to be hoped that your husband takes note of what they have said and follows through on the counselling.......

Best wishes.......

 

[Mstrskey]

Okay a few things....

I'll address the #1 thing first...

Ozraven~ While I have absolutley no problem with you using this thread as a frame of reference for some debate or discussion on the GB I would ask that you do not link it without at least sending me a PM letting me know you have done so. I just think it's net courtesy if nothing else. Other then that thank you for your good wishes. and I would never waste a good butter knife on castration...rusty rose shears are the weapon of choice for such a task or so my mother tells me...lol!

jenlovesamy~ that was a thought that also entered my mind and I also sincerely hope that I was very wrong. In truth I think I was, but I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't considered it. And yes, my grandfathers side of the family are all sicilian...we know people who can make accidents happen.

polite~ I think thats what my driving force is to force my hand right now, my daughters. No matter how much I love their father I have loved them more from the moment I felt them move in the womb and I wouldn't keep them in a bad situation for the world. I see what it's doing not only to me but to the most precious people in my life and I know I have to act.

OSA and Orchid~ ty both. I don't think I'm particularly strong, just a mother doing what she has to for her children. I'd like to believe any mother would do the same.

Noor~ ty for forwarding that pm to me. and for your kind words as well. I have no intention of letting him backslide with a few days of kind words and good behavior. My plan is to stick to my guns and see this through.

Wizard~ Thanks hun. I would have never seem my MIL coming to my rescue either but I admire her and my own mom so much for doing what they did. I too hope this brings success.

I will be scheduling our first sessions later today and hopefully once the ball starts rolling I'll see the results I need. I spoke w/ a very dear friend of mine last night and he said that I need to be prepared to discuss things that I may think are stupid or irrelevant, to be prepared to hear some things about myself that I don't really want to. In general to understand that it may not all end up being as one sided as it seems now. He siad to remember that our objective is to find out where things went wrong and try to correct them, not to cast blame.
I'm keeping everything crossed that I can...this is really something I'm willing to work at, and I hope he is too.

 

[bknight2602]

I believe that NO SEX is NO SEX. Tell him to get over it. Give him a nice bj, and be done with it.

 

[lost5pints]

I wish you the best of luck with your familiy. If most parents in the world had half the determination as I see here to at least make an attempt to resolve differences life would be much different for most of the kids in this country. I hope everything goes well and I thinkeveryone else wishes the same. One last note NO SEX until it is on a equal level and your counsular recommends.

 

[jenlovesamy]

Well good luck sweetheart. First and foremost is that little life inside you. Counseling is a great eye opener, and if it's not for him, then the rusty garden shears weilded by a sicilian relative is always a good idea!

 

[mrerotica03]

give him a blow job

give him a bj then he wont fuck you.
Cool down with the nerves lady. Wow!!

 

[peachykeen]

Re: give him a blow job

give him a bj then he wont fuck you.
Cool down with the nerves lady. Wow!!

what a thoughtful and sensitive contribution to this discussion. What a prince.


mrstrskey, you go on with your bad self, girlfriend. You've got your head screwed on tight, you do

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

May I suggest a cast iron skillet or a rolling pin? Carry one with you at all times and if he even comes near, make sure that he understands NO SEX, means just that, his cock doesn't get anywhere near you.

If he isn't concerned for you, then I would think that he would have been concerned for the child.

Good one Native Alien! I like that cast iron skillet idea! Has a certain "ring" to it!


-kym- Can picture Mstrskey, skillet in hand, ringing him silly!

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Re: Re: give him a blow job

what a thoughtful and sensitive contribution to this discussion. What a prince.


mrstrskey, you go on with your bad self, girlfriend. You've got your head screwed on tight, you do

And go figure his s/n is mrerotica! Like he's an erotic one!


-kym- Say Mstrskey, can I borrow that skillet for a sec?? I have someone in need of a ringing over here!

 

[Mstrskey]

Re: give him a blow job

give him a bj then he wont fuck you.
Cool down with the nerves lady. Wow!!

Well mrerotica...I want to make certain I understand you correctly. Your advice as to how I should handle my husbands sexual advances towards me which endanger not only my health but the health of my unborn child is that I gratify his libido with oral sex in order to forstall any actual intercourse involving penetration??? I see...would you also suggest that I have supper waiting for him on the table by 6 pm precisely and greet him at the door with a cold cocktail and 6 inch stillettos? Maybe I should massage his little tootsies too? I mean what with all the stress of me denying him his manly need to fornicate he's bound to need a rubdown right? Good golly whatever was I thinking? I mean to deny him access to my vagina and then not even offer to suck his cock as compensation? I should have my Donna Reed/June Cleaver fan club membership taken away!!!

Did you actually think before you made that statement or were you to busy trying to dial 1-900-HOT BABE for your daily jackoff session to multitask and do both at once?

kym sugar you hang on just a second and I'll hand you that skillet, I think I deserve first whack!!!

I apologize to all for letting my sarcastic inner bitch out to play, but guys like him just....grrrrrrrrrrrr!!! well they give te rest of you a bad name.

 

[ozraven]

Re: Re: give him a blow job

Well mrerotica...I want to make certain I understand you correctly. Your advice as to how I should handle my husbands sexual advances towards me which endanger not only my health but the health of my unborn child is that I gratify his libido with oral sex in order to forstall any actual intercourse involving penetration??? I see...would you also suggest that I have supper waiting for him on the table by 6 pm precisely and greet him at the door with a cold cocktail and 6 inch stillettos? Maybe I should massage his little tootsies too? I mean what with all the stress of me denying him his manly need to fornicate he's bound to need a rubdown right? Good golly whatever was I thinking? I mean to deny him access to my vagina and then not even offer to suck his cock as compensation? I should have my Donna Reed/June Cleaver fan club membership taken away!!!

Did you actually think before you made that statement or were you to busy trying to dial 1-900-HOT BABE for your daily jackoff session to multitask and do both at once?

kym sugar you hang on just a second and I'll hand you that skillet, I think I deserve first whack!!!

I apologize to all for letting my sarcastic inner bitch out to play, but guys like him just....grrrrrrrrrrrr!!! well they give te rest of you a bad name.

On a lighter note, I highlighted the bits that worked for me........

Now if I can just get akasha to play along.........

On a more serious note......how did your first session go?

 

[Mstrskey]

Hey Oz~

The first session was actually kind of slow. Our counselor is a man at my husbands request. Said he'd feel like he was getting ganged up on if it was a woman...lol!

We got there and filled out these questionaire things. Why were we there and what did we hope to acheive from counseling?The thing that aggrevates you most about your spouse, etc etc. pretty basic stuff. I don't think we actually spent more then half an hour with the counselor. Basically he said that we were there to get to the root of our problem, not to cast blame on each other and that meant we needed to speak honestly while we were there and that holding things back would only complicate matters further. He said right off the bat he wanted us to try and work on having conversations with each other vs. taking little digs here and there but avoiding talking TO each other. He said he noticed right away that communication is a problem after my opening dig.- my husband excused himself to go to the bathroom as soon as we got there, came back paced the room a dozen times and went to the bathroom again. The counselor asked if he was nervous and before he could answer I responded with, " He's probably just marking his territory."- later he asked how he felt about doing the counseling, did he feel threatened or as if he'd done something wrong, did he look at it as a punishment etc. My husband turned straight to me, glared and said " I don't know, sweetheart why don't you tell the man how I feel about all of this." the counselor said that he needed to speak for himself, learn to express his own thoughts. His response, "You mean express an opinion that is actually my own and not one my wife has altered for social correctness what an idea!" and basically went on to say that he knew things weren't great between us but that I was very good at pointing out other peoples flaws and dragging them into the light of day, but mark his words the minute we started bringing out my shortcomings I was going to find a way to make them somebody elses fault.
The counselor said that one of the first things he's noticed, and he says it's pretty common really, is that we talk about and at each other but don't talk TO each other and that's a huge issue. That as marriages get bussier and more stressful couples often tend to allow communication to go by the wayside, counting on the fact that the closeness that once had you able to finish each others sentences would compensate. That you expect your partner to understand, take it as an automatic and don't put out the same effort with them that you do with others. It takes no time at all for communication to become a forgotten skill in a marriage/relationship.

He agrees that having some seperation for now is a good thing, in fact he says that until we both feel comfortable being social and intimate with each other not to force it. That forcing it will breed resentment wheras the seperation will give us time to remember what it is about the other we miss, and enjoy rather then focusing on the negatives. He asked that we try, even when arguing, not to resort to blame and name calling and verbal abuse. To make even the disagreements a time to work on communication.

That was the first, we have another Friday.

 

[lovechild27]

Well...how do you feel about all the counselor said? I hope this all works for you two

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

you need to let him know that the well being of your baby takes president over any sexual act that he might get in his head and if he can't deal with it than that's just too FUCKING bad for him then eh...
good luck with the babe

 

[ozraven]

Re: Hey Oz~

The first session was actually kind of slow. Our counselor is a man at my husbands request. Said he'd feel like he was getting ganged up on if it was a woman...lol!

<snip>
The counselor said that one of the first things he's noticed, and he says it's pretty common really, is that we talk about and at each other but don't talk TO each other and that's a huge issue. That as marriages get bussier and more stressful couples often tend to allow communication to go by the wayside, counting on the fact that the closeness that once had you able to finish each others sentences would compensate. That you expect your partner to understand, take it as an automatic and don't put out the same effort with them that you do with others. It takes no time at all for communication to become a forgotten skill in a marriage/relationship.

He agrees that having some seperation for now is a good thing, in fact he says that until we both feel comfortable being social and intimate with each other not to force it. That forcing it will breed resentment wheras the seperation will give us time to remember what it is about the other we miss, and enjoy rather then focusing on the negatives. He asked that we try, even when arguing, not to resort to blame and name calling and verbal abuse. To make even the disagreements a time to work on communication.

That was the first, we have another Friday.

I can sort of empathise with your husband there.......it is a common phallacy that there is a major womens group that emcompasses the world, and we males can never hope to be a part of it.......all bollocks, but I can understand him feeling that in part anyway...

The counsellor appears to at least have his head screwed on, it's not his job to apportion blame, they don't do that.......but to get you to be able to talk to each other in ways that you need to so the relationship can survive and then flourish.......

Some time apart is also a great thing.........I think all couples should do that, even if only very briefly, on occasions......

You seem pretty cool within yourself to be able to make the admissions you did in that post without qualifying comment.........

Good Luck on Friday.......we are away for the weekend, but will be back on Monday our time and I would be interested to hear how it goes, if you don't mind.........

 

[Mstrskey]

my head being screwed on...

is subject to opinion, but I am trying very hard not to let my emotions get the better of me.

He's right! I do very often make his statements for him fearing that he'll open his mouth and insert his foot. Oddly enough, this brutal honesty is one of the things which first attracted me to my husband. His total inability to bullshit. My husband is one of those guys you would never ask " Do I look fat in this dress?" because if you did he'd tell you so! I think that when I was 19 and new to the world I found that honesty exhilirating and refreshing. Now at 30 with two kids and another on the way, after spending some time in the real world and realizing that there are social protocals that need to be observed even if you don't like them...well now it's not as charming as it used to be.

I think that he's got alot of anger, and that part of that anger comes from my essentially talking for him. I know I'd probably be furious if instead of asking me my opinion on something folks automatically went to my spouse. That's how he feels, like I talk for him. While I do it to keep him from embarrasing us/himself he feels like I somehow don't see him on equal footing...there's that whole communication issue at work right there.

I don't mind you, or anyone else asking about this Oz...be warned though...I may type your eyeballs off if you don't stop me...lol!

 

[gravyrug]

Re: my head being screwed on...

...I may type your eyeballs off if you don't stop me...lol! [/B][/QUOTE]

Type away, dearie. My eyeballs, at least, are in pretty tight. If venting here gives you a chance to clear your mind, go for it. And I'm interested to find out how it goes. I might just learn something that applies to me with my wife....

gravy

 

[Mstrskey]

Re: Re: my head being screwed on...

...I may type your eyeballs off if you don't stop me...lol!

Type away, dearie. My eyeballs, at least, are in pretty tight. If venting here gives you a chance to clear your mind, go for it. And I'm interested to find out how it goes. I might just learn something that applies to me with my wife....

gravy [/B][/QUOTE]

Well thanks Gravy! I do enjoy venting and writing has always been my chosen form, but I have had quite a few people tell me I like to write a paragraph when a sentance will do just fine...lol. I always warn those who encourage my venting that I am prone to be longwinded.
And if my venting can help out another...well then I'll know some good has come of it.

 

[jenlovesamy]

Communication is an issue in any relationship. We talk but only hear what we want to hear, right? I think we don't actually hear what the other person says but what we expect they're going to say. We project on them what we think they're going to say, then somehow our brains interpret what they say as that. I went to counseling with my mom a few years ago after we had a huge blowout. The one thing our counselor did that had the greatest effect was she'd have one of us say what was wrong, then the other had to repeat back what we heard them say. It was amazing how we'd think the person was angry about something that was totally different than what they were actually angry about. It made a huge difference with us. I hope this guy does something like that, makes you really understand what the other person is saying. Good luck sweetheart.

How's the baby doing, btw?

 

[Mstrskey]

Update...

jenlovesamy~ The baby seems to be doing well. Making it's mother sick as a dog and demanding some unusual food, but overall well. I'm hoping it's love of saurkraut, pickles, vinegar,feta and blue cheeses will eventual subside. My kitchen is starting to smell foul! It's been something weird with the other two though, so why should this one be normal. It is after all the sibling of cold, raw meat girl and her sister ms. hot V8 w/ a splash of lime.
I am a bit perturbed by the fact that I had to go out and buy some maternity/baggy clothes today as my 8 week belly already looks more like 12 weeksand none of my summer clothes fit me.
Oh well,. there goes being a size 8 by July! LOL!

We just got in from our session and after my day from hell I confess I was in a really shitty mood and just wnated it to be done with.
We talked about intimacy,and how we each define it. Then we talked about the differences in our definitions.
His- intimacy is when we snuggle or cuddle together, the time we spend alone with each other.
Mine- intimacy is when we are focused only on each other, on making the other person feel sacred and special. When we give ourselves wholly to that other person without holding anything back and trust them to love us in spite of it.
The differences between a snuggle on the couch and the deep revelations of our souls....pretty wide gap.

He asked us to off the top of our heads name 5 intimate moments we've had in the past year. He rattled 5 off in about a minute. I think I came up with 2 in about 10 minutes of hard searching.
He then said that true intimacy is acheived- or can be acheived- when the lines of communication or open and flowing. That the communication problems beget intimacy problems which by their nature spill over into sexual and social issues. When my husband thinks he is having an intimate moment with me but in fact I'm just using him for a back support there is a communication issue. That when I am angry with him because we aren't intimate any longer, but in his mind we share intimate moments every day, there are communication issues.
I saw where he was going with it, but frankly today I just wanted to go home and veg.

We'll go back Mon and begin to address my problem with " allowing sex" as a peacekeeping measure.

 

[jenlovesamy]

I'm really curious to see what she says about that. Has he moved out of the bedroom yet?

 

[lovechild27]

We'll go back Mon

Well good luck.

I eat feta cheese all the time and Im not pregnant...lol... Im just weird.


hugs for you and baby and hubby too~

 

[jenlovesamy]

Re: We'll go back Mon

Well good luck.

I eat feta cheese all the time and Im not pregnant...lol... Im just weird.


hugs for you and baby and hubby too~

hehe, you're just silly...

 

[SlickTony]

Well, Mstrskey, I really don't have anything to say that the others haven't said just as well, but I wish you all the best.