General bitch followed by a question

[MaleTrout]

I sympathise with your situation Mstrskey. But for what it's worth, lemme play the devil's advocate here.

You see... it's common knowledge that very often men are nothing more than slaves to their penises. It's *cruel* (and downright comical) that the same forces of evolution that gave us our intelligence, capacity for compassion and knowledge etc. should let a mere muscular stub have such a strong say on our conduct.

Now you are undoubtedly a sexy lady (congratulations to your hubby!). It's far too easy for your hubby or for that matter for *anything* with a penis to want to have sex with you. The *least* that you can do to help him contain himself is to "unsexify" yourself a bit. Things like lying naked (for heaven's sake!) in your hubby's presence simply won't do. You cannot tempt him and then deny him what you tempted him with at the same time. You cannot make a Tantalus of your hubby!

Other than this, I can only pray that your husband's penis will continue to rise in your presence, and that he will find the will-power to rise above his penis when the situation calls for it...

And now I will go back to downloading your pictures...

 

[lovechild27]

Mstrsky is probably way hot and gorgeous...But it still gives her hubby no right to do what he did. Its her own house...if she wants to lay around naked when she is uncomfy and gross feeling because of her pregnant state then she can do so and her hubby needs to respect that and keep his cock to himself...

 

[Wizard]

Mstrsky is probably way hot and gorgeous...But it still gives her hubby no right to do what he did. Its her own house...if she wants to lay around naked when she is uncomfy and gross feeling because of her pregnant state then she can do so and her hubby needs to respect that and keep his cock to himself...

I have to agree, there is no excuse for his actions in my opion...

 

[Mstrskey]

Hmmmmm....

okay trout as a prior pre-law major I'll let you run with the devils advocate idea....now while it is a commonly held mythology that men are mere puppets to their genitalia, I would like to point out that were this fallacy true we would still be living in clans in caves under Viking rules of rape pillage and plunder. While a mans sex drive is unarguably a strong force I do not believe it is so potent that he is incapable of keeping it in check. I have known plenty of men in my time who while most definatly motivated by their penises were not ruled by them.
Now as to my de-sexing myself to aid my husband in his assigned task of all looking no touching...It is true I had the temerity to lay brazenly naked in front of him, however I would like to point out that I had not yet brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and smelled strongly of gardening chemicals. Hardly a sex kitten if you understand! My uncompromising sexuality- said highly tongue in cheek- aside my husband really should have understood the consequences and respected me and my oh so tempting body enough to leave me alone.
Oh and thanks for downloading my pics!

Lovechild~ way hot AND gorgeous?? Can I please keep you in my nightstand drawer and pull you out again in a few months when I can't see my toes? Thanks for the compliment and the support hun!

Wizard~ anyone from my adopted hometown has got to be right! Love the 'burgh, and I'm very po'd that I'll be to preggers to make my annual trip this fall!
Thanks for the kind words.

Slicktony~ ....you're a sweetheart!

jenlovesamy~ oh don't get me wrong babe...feta cheese is the shiznit! 'specially on a nice cool greek salad....mmmmmm! However it's eating handfuls of it straight from the container that I find quite disturbing!
Weirdos of the world unite!!!

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Noor]

I usually try not to get personal, but I'm going to make an exception this time.

Men like you should be castrated with a dull knife.

If it will make you feel better, I'd be happy to do it while naked.

perhaps a spoon instead?

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[asenath]

Is it just me or am I the only one who thinks he was subconciously fucking you hoping you miscarried? God, I seriously hope that's not what was going through his mind, but that was my first thought. He had sex with you KNOWING it would harm the baby. Please, I pray things work out and he finds out what an enormous asshole he was to save your family. And if it doesn't, I'm sure there's a line of people who could "take care" of him for you, hehe...

I was wondering the same thing.

 

[asenath]

I believe that NO SEX is NO SEX. Tell him to get over it. Give him a nice bj, and be done with it.

He seems like a jerk. He doesn't deserve a BJ.

 

[jenlovesamy]

The power to rise above his penis, wow. You must have the biggest brass set of cojones on the planet. Her husband basically for all intents and purposes rapes her on a regular basis, he HAS to know that she doesn't want it, but you want to blame HER??? I'm sorry to be this rude, but you're fucking ridiculous. NO MEANS NO! Ever heard that phrase? And especially knowing what it could do to the baby, he decides to pleasure himself anyway and it's her fault? Give me a fucking break. I really hope we're all wrong and you're not some cromagnon living in a cave somewhere. Come into the light. Grow the fuck up.

And Mstrkey, this is totally out of line, but seriously, women with brains are so incredibly sexy. Thank you for proving that you can be sexy and smart at the same time! Maybe men should learn from this.

 

[lovechild27]

I am amazed that anyone at all is suggesting to just give him bj's. It blows my mind that people can be that insensitive..esp since you are pregnant...

I hope your feeling better Mrstskey...

Ill sit in your drawer and tell you your pretty whenever you need it Any woman who goes through all that trouble for her child is a total goddess

 

[Mstrskey]

jen and love...

ya'll are wonderful, really and truly wonderful!!! Thank you so much for making me smile.
jen~ you can tell me I'm sexy any time you want and I promise I'll never think you're outta line!!
love~ a goddess!! wooohooo!! now you sure do know how to bring a goofball old smile to my face!

Orchid~ girlfriend sometimes you and I think waaay to much alike! I had visions of a grapefruit spoon as soon as I read that too!!!
asenath~ ty so much for your support hun!
Hugs to all of you

 

[SlickTony]

I usually try not to get personal, but I'm going to make an exception this time...Men like you should be castrated with a dull knife.

Or maybe the treatment I prescribed for donkey punchers in the "What Do These Terms Mean" thread. Maybe the moms could undertake to do it.

 

[lovechild27]

awwww...hugs for mstrys....you need to feel like a goofy happy goof ball right now!

hope everyones Sunday is well and relaxing

 

[SexyChele]

Okay, I've read all the way through this thread and was going to post earlier but, well, what can I say?

First, hubby here was in the wrong. There is an extenuating circumstance that he needed to consider before doing what he did. That goes beyond saying and the thought that a man would use his wife who is undergoing a difficult pregnancy in such a way is horrid to think about.

Now, I am separating what I am about to say from Mstrskey's situation, but it does run parallel.

There are many, many men on these boards that come here and say such things as: "My wife won't let me have sex", "She never has any interest anymore", "The last time I received anything sexual was months ago." Typically, this is followed by post after post of people giving him sympathy and understanding if he should seek comfort outside the marriage. (Admittedly, there are a few of us who chime in and tell him to talk to his wife, to which we are told he has talked to her and it didn't work.)

Now we are faced with a woman who has a medical condition making it necessary to avoid sex. Or, well, from my understanding, to avoid orgasm or anything that will cause the uterus to contract. (Correct me if I am wrong, Mstrskey) I am also a little confused as to how long this condition will last. Through the entire pregnancy? Through the first couple of months? Just the next few weeks? If a man would have to wait until an entire pregnancy for any sexual contact (and the minimum 6 weeks after childbirth), I can understand the comments from the male readers suggesting an occasional blowjob or hand job. No, really I can! But then, I'm the type of woman who would willingly give my man a blowjob without regard as to whether I orgasm or not because I know it would make him happy. So I guess I just don't understand the overwhelming hostility towards the posters who have suggested this. It simply makes sense to me. But I understand that I may simply be different.

It does sound to me as though there are more issues at work than hubby simply not being able to have sex, and his wife unwilling to give him an occasional blowjob. If this is so, than I am glad for this marriage that counseling was sought out and it appears to be going well. Hopefully, both husband and wife will come out of it with a stronger marriage and a healthier regard for each other.

Good luck to both of you!

 

[AngelGirl25]

Correct me if I'm wrong (and I frequently am)- its not the BJ thing that people are objecting to- but its the fact that any man who would force himself on a woman doesn't deserve a BJ.

I mean it almost verges on "give him a BJ to stop him raping you". And while it is right to give your lover pleasure unselfishly (eg a handjob or BJ when you aren't up for sex) you should never ever ever have to do this to avoid him forcing himself on you. And since he is abviously only thinking of his own pleasure- well it just adds another reason why he doesn't deserve a BJ.

(Not that BJs are rewards- its just that I feel just about anything sexual should be from love or a loving moment- and how the hell do you have a loving moment when they are trying to force themselves upon you.)

 

[SlickTony]

And while it is right to give your lover pleasure unselfishly (eg a handjob or BJ when you aren't up for sex) you should never ever ever have to do this to avoid him forcing himself on you.

It's having to give BJs under circumstances like these that leads women to think of them as work.

 

[gravyrug]

I've always been a "no means no" kind of guy, sometimes to the point where I've missed out on "maybe". I believe that in this particular case, sex of any kind (including hand or blow jobs) should wait till the counseling starts to have a positive effect. Before that, it would just reinforce bad behavior. Not precisely a reward as such, just be sure you both want it and can handle it before getting back to intimacy.

Gravyrug

 

[SexyChele]

Correct me if I'm wrong (and I frequently am)- its not the BJ thing that people are objecting to- but its the fact that any man who would force himself on a woman doesn't deserve a BJ.

I mean it almost verges on "give him a BJ to stop him raping you". And while it is right to give your lover pleasure unselfishly (eg a handjob or BJ when you aren't up for sex) you should never ever ever have to do this to avoid him forcing himself on you. And since he is abviously only thinking of his own pleasure- well it just adds another reason why he doesn't deserve a BJ.

(Not that BJs are rewards- its just that I feel just about anything sexual should be from love or a loving moment- and how the hell do you have a loving moment when they are trying to force themselves upon you.)

I can understand what you are saying. However, removing this from Mstrskey's situation, it appears to me that folks are saying that if a woman can't have an orgasm, then the man shouldn't either. Perhaps this topic needs a new thread, but I'm just trying to figure out the staunch opposition to giving a husband a blowjob when a medical condition precludes the wife from having an orgasm.

I wholeheartedly agree with gravyrug - no physical intimacy should be entered on in this particular situation until they have reached a point in their counseling sessions where it is recommended and/or both (and I mean both) feel the need to express a physical intimacy.

I do agree that oral sex, just as in intercourse, is something both should find pleasurable and willing to engage in freely without feeling obligated. You are right - oral sex for either men or women is not some sort of reward, but an act of pleasure to be shared selflessly.

It seems to me that in this case, there has been a time of "giving in" to the demands of the husband without truly speaking up. I think this is coming out in counseling as well, and that is a good thing. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to go to counseling where you might have to face some not so nice things about yourself. Even more so to post those things, and I support this woman more than I can say. She is doing a hell of a lot more than I could!

 

[lovechild27]

its not the BJ thing that people are objecting to

She doesnt have to blow him at all if she doesnt want to...I know when I am feeling like crap, the last thing I want to do is get sexy, down and dirty.

I think regardless of whatever their past may be...he was an insensitive ass hole...why should she have to give him a bj just to pacify him? I doubt hes a horny 15 year old boy. Men are capeable with going without sex...no sex for a few months wont kill them and tear their marriage apart.

Again...just weirded out by the people who try to say go give him head...or use any means to justify it....

I dont even see the point of taking it out of context...what he did...had they not been married...is a sex crime...trying to excuse it in any way just isnt right.

 

[gravyrug]

ohhhhmmmmmm

'kay, now, we've all expressed our anger at mstrskey's hubby for being insensitive, and just plain wrong. Now it's time to calm down for a while and just be supportive while she works on the counseling. As mad as we get at what he did, it's not gonna help much to keep refreshing her anger in between counseling sessions.

As for those who don't get that what he did was wrong, I'd like to suggest you get a little counseling yourselves.

Gravyrug

 

[SexyChele]

Re: its not the BJ thing that people are objecting to

I dont even see the point of taking it out of context...what he did...had they not been married...is a sex crime...trying to excuse it in any way just isnt right.

Actually, rape within marriage is considered a sex crime. It's called spousal rape.

As for those who don't get that what he did was wrong, I'd like to suggest you get a little counseling yourselves.

In all fairness, I can only think of possibly (and that's only a possibility) one person not "getting it". The rest of us do understand and "get" the ramifications of what occurred.


My point was to simply bring up something as food for thought. Evidently, it was the wrong thread to do it in. My apologies to Mstrskey. I wish you well with your counseling sessions and hope that all will be worked out for you and your husband.

And with this, I will bow out...

 

[gravyrug]

Food for thought is fine, please don't leave on my account.

I was referring more to the threats of bodily harm...perhaps not the most calming thoughts to feed on, however justified they may seem.

 

[Mstrskey]

" Lemme 'splain...no is to much, lemme sum up"

with apologies to Mandy Patinkin...lol!

Okay I guess I should clarify a bit for Chelle.

I was/am on my sexual restrictions not for the entire 40 weeks of my pregnancy but in fact for only 4 weeks following to my initial hospitalization. If on June 9th everything checks out and my hormone levels, fetal heart tones and development, and cervical closure are where they should be I will most likely be allowed to resume many of my normal activities, to include sexual intercourse.
So it's not as if I had presented my husband with the prospect of no sex for the next 9 months and then addittionally refused to give him any other type of sexual release.

Now to remove myself from the situation....
I do understand the men who come on here lamenting the lack of sexual intimacy in their relationship and asking for validation to seek gratification elsewhere. I understand the women also. Those who say, all I want is a little contact once in a while is that so much to ask for?
IMO if it is not possible to have mutual enjoyment of sex for both partners then it is not out of line to ask the restricted partner to give other means of pleasure, ie. oral sex. As long as it is given willing and without pressure there is not a damn thing wrong with a husband asking his wife for a blowjob if they cannot have sex. My emphasis here is on ASKING! Not expecting, or demanding, or pressuring. When it becomes expected that oral sex be given simply to please the man or woman in the relationship who isn't restricted then it's no longer about mutual pleasure and it becomes an issue. A relationship is a partnership and if the focus becomes about only one partners pleasure then the relationship is on rocky ground.

To return myself to the situation...
I would gladly have given my husband a bj/handjob/whatever if he had come to me and asked, but that wasn't the situation.

Please don't bow out of the thread on my account Chelle. You raise an interesting point about the so called social norms concerning sexual expectations within a relationship. I have never had an issue or beeen offended by good debate and discourse.

for those who keep checking in on me.

 

[sheath]

I usually try not to get personal, but I'm going to make an exception this time.

Men like you should be castrated with a dull knife.

If it will make you feel better, I'd be happy to do it while naked.

Exactly what she said.

I volunteer to hold the bastard down.

S.