Happily Married But Sexless-- Anyone Else

[takenmytime]

Life Changes

Life changes - nothing stays the same forever. Nobody shares 'everything' and since my brain and everyone else's is constantly working - you cannot ever share everything. Can I share my entire fantasy island - no way. You really cannot change someone - you can work on habits and guide them to what you want. We all change physically that also gives us issues in our relationships - I have mine - you have yours. We all have periods of higher stress and regular introductions of new stresses - and how they affect you are different.
Don't expect that anyone can help you without knowing the facts. As an engineer - all problems can be fixed with the data, history, variables and recognizing the known and the unknown. Sometimes there is no good solutions - or not everyone is satisfied or hurt with the solution - and sometimes the solution does not address the hidden problem that was unknown.
Nobody wants to put it all their cards out in public. I certainly don't, but if privacy is assured - it is much easier. PM

 

[ratherabsurd1]

Men are not the only ones who deal with issues. I am divorced so had no sex hardly at all in previous marriage. I met my fella 4 years ago it was intense and we could never get enough. After 4 years I feel like he has stopped making a effort to be romantic, make out , foreplay . As a woman we need this. I always initiate as well. I feel like it has gotten boring. I miss the connection, the wild uninhibited sex anywhere anytime. It is everything in the same way, same robotic fashion to a point Im just want it done with. What happened to my man? And jo hes jot neglected in any way . Hes spoiled rotten. Im not ignoring him and sitting on my phone/ comp etc. If he is next to me he gets all the attention. I think as we get older we get comfy and sex/ intimacy becomes less important for some. I have to read erotic literature and masturbate to get off which sucks rather have my man!

I agree mine was similar

 

[cj_1]

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[Smoothshavendad]

My circumstances are different but I was drawn to this thread and sad that so many go without not even sex, but just touch. Just the simple things.
My sexless life was self-imposed. I'm not ugly. I'm attractive. I have men flirt with me but I don't know what to do. How to respond. That's why I came here, to see if I could find someone to talk to, to teach me, to show me how to get back in touch with my sexuality.

I got married very young and got divorced ten months later. Since then (8 long, long years) I have not been with a man. Not touched, kissed, held hands with.
Three months ago I would have sworn to you I was okay with that, but I realize now how not okay I've been.
I graduated from college, went on to grad school, started working and risen in my field and yet I am lonely.
I have good friends-women. But it's not enough. I have a full social life, I exercise, take care of myself, I laugh. But at night I go home and I'm alone.
My family thinks I'm weird. Something is wrong with me. And it is, I know it now. But before I just blocked it. Thought I could live a life without contact.
I pleasure myself ( a lot) and I enjoy it, and I swore it was enough.But then a few weeks ago I went on a work trip and met a man in a meeting. I was attracted to him, he flirted with me...and I had no idea what to do. What to say. I ignored him and later I heard another man say that I was an ice princess, too stuck up, too full of myself for any of them. I know they think that. I know the men at my work think that, but I'm not cold. If they could see me, see the weekends I spend in be with my vibrator and porn, longing for someone to touch me. They would be shocked. After I came home I had a disturbing dream which led to this soul searching and now I'm here. I've read the stories for months but just saw the chat. I tried that last night and this morning (from my desk at work) but it was a dud. Now I'm here. So...my story is very different and yet not. A group of people just wanting to be touched.
I hope this is not boring and out of place.

Oh my goodness. Thank you for sharing with such honesty. Wishing you your heart’s desires.

 

[cj_1]

///////

 

[Smoothshavendad]

Thank you!

You may pm me if you feel like having someone to talk to.

 

[RichardBentwood]

My circumstances are different but I was drawn to this thread and sad that so many go without not even sex, but just touch. Just the simple things.
My sexless life was self-imposed. I'm not ugly. I'm attractive. I have men flirt with me but I don't know what to do. How to respond. That's why I came here, to see if I could find someone to talk to, to teach me, to show me how to get back in touch with my sexuality. A man's perspective. Men to talk to about sex, not just engage in it with. Coaches. A team of men telling what I need to do to get back in the game.

I got married very young and got divorced ten months later. Since then (8 long, long years) I have not been with a man. Not touched, kissed, held hands with. Nothing.
Three months ago I would have sworn to you I was okay with that, but I realize now how not okay I've been.
I graduated from college, went on to grad school, started working and risen in my field and yet I am lonely.
I have good friends-women. But it's not enough. I have a full social life, I exercise, take care of myself, I laugh. But at night I go home and I'm alone.
My family thinks I'm weird. Something is wrong with me. And it is, I know it now. But before I just blocked it. Thought I could live a life without contact.
I pleasure myself ( a lot) and I enjoy it, and I swore it was enough. But then a few weeks ago I went on a work trip and met a man in a meeting. I was attracted to him, he flirted with me...and I had no idea what to do. What to say. I ignored him and later I heard another man say that I was an ice princess, too stuck up, too full of myself for any of them. I know they think that. I know the men at my work think that, but I'm not cold. If they could see me, see the weekends I spend in bed with my vibrator and porn, longing for someone to touch me. They would bed shocked. After I came home I had a disturbing dream which led to this soul searching and now I'm here. I've read the stories for months but just saw the chat. I tried that last night and this morning (from my desk at work) but it was a dud. Now I'm here. So...my story is very different and yet not. A group of people just wanting to be touched.
I hope this is not boring and out of place.

I would suggest that you stay away from men at work It can make for a difficult time if things go awry. Maybe you should talk to a professional counselor to help you get where you want to be. I wish you all the best.

 

[Jaime1493]

Same here - married over 30 years, no sex for at least 10.

Fortunately I have been bi since my teens. Only do it when not married, but now I am retired and wife stopped wanting sex for at least 10 years. I am looking for a similar MWM for monogamous FWB. I am very romantic, love touching, kissing etc. AC 785.

 

[cj_1]

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[tnhardon]

Not sexless here, but not getting as much as I need. Glad to have other ways to outlet on my own. Lit helps a lot with that.

 

[Hornygirl2]

I’m a very successful woman who broke up with my ex a couple of years ago. I am happy on my own right now, but I really miss the sex. As I was reading about all of the poor deprived married men I started fantasizing about what it would be like to have each of you take turns spending the night with me. I could give you what you are missing and I would enjoy the attention. It’s a win - win.

 

[Pawleys16]

I’m a very successful woman who broke up with my ex a couple of years ago. I am happy on my own right now, but I really miss the sex. As I was reading about all of the poor deprived married men I started fantasizing about what it would be like to have each of you take turns spending the night with me. I could give you what you are missing and I would enjoy the attention. It’s a win - win.

Holy shit - that offer on here will bring out every horny guy in the western world. Good luck with your communication. I’d get in line but an old guy like me would never make the cut.

 

[talkeasy5813]

Hi. My husband and I have been together for 17 years, married for 13 years, and sexless for 10 years. His libido and energy level are low but my levels have increased over time. He was disappointed but relieved when I told him that I planned on getting my needs met elsewhere.

 

[LemonLimeBitters]

My circumstances are different but I was drawn to this thread and sad that so many go without not even sex, but just touch. Just the simple things.
My sexless life was self-imposed. I'm not ugly. I'm attractive. I have men flirt with me but I don't know what to do. How to respond. That's why I came here, to see if I could find someone to talk to, to teach me, to show me how to get back in touch with my sexuality. A man's perspective. Men to talk to about sex, not just engage in it with. Coaches. A team of men telling what I need to do to get back in the game.

I got married very young and got divorced ten months later. Since then (8 long, long years) I have not been with a man. Not touched, kissed, held hands with. Nothing.
Three months ago I would have sworn to you I was okay with that, but I realize now how not okay I've been.
I graduated from college, went on to grad school, started working and risen in my field and yet I am lonely.
I have good friends-women. But it's not enough. I have a full social life, I exercise, take care of myself, I laugh. But at night I go home and I'm alone.
My family thinks I'm weird. Something is wrong with me. And it is, I know it now. But before I just blocked it. Thought I could live a life without contact.
I pleasure myself ( a lot) and I enjoy it, and I swore it was enough. But then a few weeks ago I went on a work trip and met a man in a meeting. I was attracted to him, he flirted with me...and I had no idea what to do. What to say. I ignored him and later I heard another man say that I was an ice princess, too stuck up, too full of myself for any of them. I know they think that. I know the men at my work think that, but I'm not cold. If they could see me, see the weekends I spend in bed with my vibrator and porn, longing for someone to touch me. They would bed shocked. After I came home I had a disturbing dream which led to this soul searching and now I'm here. I've read the stories for months but just saw the chat. I tried that last night and this morning (from my desk at work) but it was a dud. Now I'm here. So...my story is very different and yet not. A group of people just wanting to be touched.
I hope this is not boring and out of place.

You seem a little like my friend, who's a male. He is a very quiet person, highly intelligent and very kind hearted. He was partnerless for a long long time because the girls he was interested in had no time for him. I didn't blame the girls. How could they get to know him if he says nothing and shares little? So most saw him as a boring shy person. Many times, I tried to help him by getting him to open up about himself, so that he can give others a chance a give himself a chance. I realised after many attempts that this is very difficult to do. His personality is just that, he is how he is and who he is will not change easily without a serious life changing event.
How is this relevant you ask?
Well, he is happily in a relationship now. He is very talkative online and his personality shines through while he chats. He was successful in meeting his first girlfriend through chatting online. They are no longer together but that's beside the point.
My whole point here is, keep an open mind and relax. Let your personality shine through whichever medium is best suited for you. Perhaps say "yes" more often to new experiences? Best of luck to you.

 

[MutualMatureMike]

You seem a little like my friend, who's a male. He is a very quiet person, highly intelligent and very kind hearted. He was partnerless for a long long time because the girls he was interested in had no time for him. I didn't blame the girls. How could they get to know him if he says nothing and shares little? So most saw him as a boring shy person. Many times, I tried to help him by getting him to open up about himself, so that he can give others a chance a give himself a chance. I realised after many attempts that this is very difficult to do. His personality is just that, he is how he is and who he is will not change easily without a serious life changing event.
How is this relevant you ask?
Well, he is happily in a relationship now. He is very talkative online and his personality shines through while he chats. He was successful in meeting his first girlfriend through chatting online. They are no longer together but that's beside the point.
My whole point here is, keep an open mind and relax. Let your personality shine through whichever medium is best suited for you. Perhaps say "yes" more often to new experiences? Best of luck to you.

I like your last point, about personality - just being true to yourself online as well as off.

 

[Beardpositive77]

Those of you who talk about spouses being ok with you having your needs met elsewhere... I'm really jealous of you! Despite very infrequent sex, she would abhor the idea of me stepping out for that.

 

[MaleMid50sUK]

I’m a very successful woman who broke up with my ex a couple of years ago. I am happy on my own right now, but I really miss the sex. As I was reading about all of the poor deprived married men I started fantasizing about what it would be like to have each of you take turns spending the night with me. I could give you what you are missing and I would enjoy the attention. It’s a win - win.

I will happily add myself to the list of people saying "PM me".

 

[MaleMid50sUK]

Hi. My husband and I have been together for 17 years, married for 13 years, and sexless for 10 years. His libido and energy level are low but my levels have increased over time. He was disappointed but relieved when I told him that I planned on getting my needs met elsewhere.

And how is it working out for you? Both personally and your relationship with your husband.

 

[MaleMid50sUK]

Those of you who talk about spouses being ok with you having your needs met elsewhere... I'm really jealous of you! Despite very infrequent sex, she would abhor the idea of me stepping out for that.

With you there, Beard. I get accused of flirting or being flirted with (which apparently lead directly to an affair) on a regular basis so asking for permission is not going to be met favourably, lol.

 

[sunshinestate100]

I’m a very successful woman who broke up with my ex a couple of years ago. I am happy on my own right now, but I really miss the sex. As I was reading about all of the poor deprived married men I started fantasizing about what it would be like to have each of you take turns spending the night with me. I could give you what you are missing and I would enjoy the attention. It’s a win - win.

Now there's an offer I can't refuse, PM me to chat and would make an unloved man feel alive again.

 

[sunshinestate100]

My circumstances are different but I was drawn to this thread and sad that so many go without not even sex, but just touch. Just the simple things.
My sexless life was self-imposed. I'm not ugly. I'm attractive. I have men flirt with me but I don't know what to do. How to respond. That's why I came here, to see if I could find someone to talk to, to teach me, to show me how to get back in touch with my sexuality. A man's perspective. Men to talk to about sex, not just engage in it with. Coaches. A team of men telling what I need to do to get back in the game.

I got married very young and got divorced ten months later. Since then (8 long, long years) I have not been with a man. Not touched, kissed, held hands with. Nothing.
Three months ago I would have sworn to you I was okay with that, but I realize now how not okay I've been.
I graduated from college, went on to grad school, started working and risen in my field and yet I am lonely.
I have good friends-women. But it's not enough. I have a full social life, I exercise, take care of myself, I laugh. But at night I go home and I'm alone.
My family thinks I'm weird. Something is wrong with me. And it is, I know it now. But before I just blocked it. Thought I could live a life without contact.
I pleasure myself ( a lot) and I enjoy it, and I swore it was enough. But then a few weeks ago I went on a work trip and met a man in a meeting. I was attracted to him, he flirted with me...and I had no idea what to do. What to say. I ignored him and later I heard another man say that I was an ice princess, too stuck up, too full of myself for any of them. I know they think that. I know the men at my work think that, but I'm not cold. If they could see me, see the weekends I spend in bed with my vibrator and porn, longing for someone to touch me. They would bed shocked. After I came home I had a disturbing dream which led to this soul searching and now I'm here. I've read the stories for months but just saw the chat. I tried that last night and this morning (from my desk at work) but it was a dud. Now I'm here. So...my story is very different and yet not. A group of people just wanting to be touched.
I hope this is not boring and out of place.

Not boring at all just your perception of your current situation. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Be who you want to be and don't be pushed into things ( unless you are into that kind of thing).

 

[Doctor Joe]

A very interesting thread. I also LOVE physical contact and usually have to initiate it with my wife, but once I do, she responds well. Still loves to give me amazing blowjobs. Hope you all can find people who love to touch you.

 

[30bandits]

I’m a very successful woman who broke up with my ex a couple of years ago. I am happy on my own right now, but I really miss the sex. As I was reading about all of the poor deprived married men I started fantasizing about what it would be like to have each of you take turns spending the night with me. I could give you what you are missing and I would enjoy the attention. It’s a win - win.

where have you been for the last 10 years????

 

[LemonLimeBitters]

I like your last point, about personality - just being true to yourself online as well as off.

Easily said than done sometimes. Nevertheless, its always easier to accept who you are instead of trying to fight it. Not to say you can't strive to improve yourself of course, but perhaps don't get too disappointed if things don't immediately work out?

I read the others posts and feel their angst and frustration. Biology has a lot to do with the ratio of men vs women in terms of the disparaties in the levels of libidos. Men also respond far better than women to medical treatments. That will explain in part, why more men will be commenting in this thread. Other factors include those as pointed out by previous comments, the swamp of PMs...etc. Perhaps there are simply more male on this site than female (I have no idea what the ratio would be, just a possibility).

To those whose partners allow them to fulfill their needs elsewhere, I'm glad. At least that's a resolution to the problem. I hope they mean it and when it does happen, invokes no jealousy.

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

I’m a very successful woman who broke up with my ex a couple of years ago. I am happy on my own right now, but I really miss the sex. As I was reading about all of the poor deprived married men I started fantasizing about what it would be like to have each of you take turns spending the night with me. I could give you what you are missing and I would enjoy the attention. It’s a win - win.

This ^^^^^^^