If the poster above you were arrested, what would be the crime?

[VoraciousValue]

Using a paper cut to use an excuse for speeding to go to the hospital to get out of a speeding ticket.

Tore the tag off the pillow that says, "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW!"

 

[NastyNyx]

Tore the tag off the pillow that says, "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW!"

Assaulting the checkout girl with a banana.

 

[JerseyJade]

Assaulting the checkout girl with a banana.

Leaving her house forgetting to put on cloths.

 

[NastyNyx]

Leaving her house forgetting to put on cloths.

It's too cold right now to forget

Kidnapping Shemar Moore

 

[HeavyBalls]

It's too cold right now to forget

Kidnapping Shemar Moore

Indecent exposure.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Indecent exposure.

Tried to sneak into a movie studio claiming he was Worf from Star Trek: TNG.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Tried to sneak into a movie studio claiming he was Worf from Star Trek: TNG.

"Shooting" people with a pea shooter on the National Mall.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Ate a lot of beans and then broke into a home on Park Avenue so he could fart in a rich person's house.

"Shooting" people with a pea shooter on the National Mall.

Damn tourists are a real pain in the ass.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Ate a lot of beans and then broke into a home on Park Avenue so he could fart in a rich person's house.



Damn tourists are a real pain in the ass.

Voter fraud.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Tried to break into Fresh Kills Landfill on Staten Island looking for a TV that's hardly been used.

Voter fraud.

Not my style.

 

[MrPractical]

Tried to break into Fresh Kills Landfill on Staten Island looking for a TV that's hardly been used.



Not my style.

Sarcasm and liberal use of grease

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Sarcasm and liberal use of grease

Busting loose, breaking out in a dance move with music when visiting a library. Dancing to this:

https://youtu.be/wwHi10qX8u8

 

[MrPractical]

Busting loose, breaking out in a dance move with music when visiting a library. Dancing to this:

https://youtu.be/wwHi10qX8u8

Scaring little kids with music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99gNYaz6YaM

 

[Twistedkink]

Scaring little kids with music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99gNYaz6YaM

One hit crime so he could retire to an island and no one be the wiser. After all, he’s Mr Practical.

 

[VoraciousValue]

One hit crime so he could retire to an island and no one be the wiser. After all, he’s Mr Practical.

Practiced their twisted kink on Mike Pence. Who subsequently became violently ill, got down on his knees, and started cry-praying for his soul.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Practiced their twisted kink on Mike Pence. Who subsequently became violently ill, got down on his knees, and started cry-praying for his soul.

digging up graves and looting them.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

digging up graves and looting them.

Sending the local police department a “pie” like the one Minnie cooked in The Help.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Sending the local police department a “pie” like the one Minnie cooked in The Help.

Stealing all the caramel cremes from the candy store.

 

[Jakevillines]

Tore the tag off the pillow that says, "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW!"

Pretending to be a politician

 

[DeckardNYC]

Pretending to be a politician

Tried to sell insurance, saying he was Jake from State Farm

 

[VoraciousValue]

Going 90 miles per hour on the Jersey Turnpike despite the fact everyone else goes 90 on the Jersey Turnpike. Just wasn't his lucky day.

Tried to sell insurance, saying he was Jake from State Farm

And what is he wearing, "Jake from State Farm?!"

 

[DeckardNYC]

Going 90 miles per hour on the Jersey Turnpike despite the fact everyone else goes 90 on the Jersey Turnpike. Just wasn't his lucky day.



And what is he wearing, "Jake from State Farm?!"

He sold the Washington Monument to unsuspecting tourists.

 

[nowisthetime]

He sold the Washington Monument to unsuspecting tourists.

Streaking across the bridge

 

[kurrginatorX]

Selling yellow snow cones to children.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Selling Florida swamp land to unsuspecting northerners.