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Is Romance Important to You or Is it All About the sex?

Orchidea73 said:
I've learned that Romance is one of those things that varies according to people.
Is you say dinner with candle lights, I would say I'm not romantic at all. But that's not what Romance means to me.
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Totes agree with you on how one defines romance as varying. I do think candlelit dinner is romantic, but I also think of other more carnal things as romantic, too.
 
Madmar said:
Woman's Da Vinci Code. That's funny.

The person I'm thinking of I don't think it was because of a physical condition with his hand or anything. It was a city street so maybe it was one of those chivalrous taking the outside position nearest the street things.
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I was taught to do that as well...I thought you meant always had to be on one side or the other...
 
jeff_is_smiling said:
I was taught to do that as well...I thought you meant always had to be on one side or the other...
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That is not taught it is the right thing too do , Yes of course it is all about the Romance , then the Dance is Next ..You know the sex happens because by then you know the Chemistry is there ....
 
Madmar said:
Totes agree with you on how one defines romance as varying. I do think candlelit dinner is romantic, but I also think of other more carnal things as romantic, too.
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It is romantic. Just not my kind. It's a bit like with a dessert. I love a cioccolate cake but put a bit too much sugar in it and I hate it. :D
 
jeff_is_smiling said:
I was taught to do that as well...I thought you meant always had to be on one side or the other...
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Well, that's how I took it, that he had a side preference. It's just that the first time he ever mentioned it was on a city street and the subject never came up again. You know, it wasn't like if we were holding the "wrong" hands he would lose his shirt.
 
TwoTaTango said:
That is not taught it is the right thing too do , Yes of course it is all about the Romance , then the Dance is Next ..You know the sex happens because by then you know the Chemistry is there ....
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Honestly I wasn't sure how that would convey, the chivalry thing. Maybe it's not all a lost art. Of course, I'm the woman who has a husband who doesn't think at all of walking through a door I've held open for him (cos I hold doors for everybody) without even acknowleging it let alone saying thank you. Can't think of anything more UNromantic that that so he's set a low bar.

But I shouldn't be surprised Canadian tangoers? -- tangoists? What word am I looking for? -- know from chivalry.
 
Madmar said:
Honestly I wasn't sure how that would convey, the chivalry thing. Maybe it's not all a lost art. Of course, I'm the woman who has a husband who doesn't think at all of walking through a door I've held open for him (cos I hold doors for everybody) without even acknowleging it let alone saying thank you. Can't think of anything more UNromantic that that so he's set a low bar.

But I shouldn't be surprised Canadian tangoers? -- tangoists? What word am I looking for? -- know from chivalry.
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Smiles someone who enjoys doing the Tango not necessarily Canadian although I do like your chivalry Comment ...would be referred to as a Milonguero .....and the femme word would be Milonguera .....
 
I’ve been thinking about this thread for the past couple hours. (Disclaimer- I’m half a bottle of bourbon (small bottle) down)

There’s romance. There’s sex. And then there’s intimacy. They are not all connected.

I’ve had super intimate moments with a total stranger. Probably more moving than any romance or sex I’ve ever had because it was a flash in the pan, intense moment. That moment when two strangers meet, and for whatever reason there’s a connection. And something magical happens. You communicate something to each other and it stays with you for the rest of your life.

Btw, I love Ryan Reynolds and the Rock together in a movie.
 
I think it depends on who you're with and the relationship you have with that person.
 
For me, it’s all about the intimacy , the connection, the shared moments of familiarity between two people that others miss. Don’t get me wrong, sex is wonderful and always welcome, but without romance, trust, connection, and effort, I just find it lacking. It is like having a candle when I want a bonfire. I want/need the kind of relationship that burns, consumes, invigorates, and renews all at the same time. I want the fairytale with the happy ending. Anything less just rings hollow and feels fleeting.

And yes, I understand and accept that that make me the odd duck in the room who will likely end my days in solitude, but hope springs eternal.
 
Sea_Panda said:
For me, it’s all about the intimacy , the connection, the shared moments of familiarity between two people that others miss. Don’t get me wrong, sex is wonderful and always welcome, but without romance, trust, connection, and effort, I just find it lacking. It is like having a candle when I want a bonfire. I want/need the kind of relationship that burns, consumes, invigorates, and renews all at the same time. I want the fairytale with the happy ending. Anything less just rings hollow and feels fleeting.

And yes, I understand and accept that that make me the odd duck in the room who will likely end my days in solitude, but hope springs eternal.
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You CAN have it. Choose your partner well, and the physical attraction won't fade over the years, but even keep the emotional bond renewed over and over again.
 
shadylady02nz said:
Don't have to be 'in love' but definitely have to have some emotional connection to make sex so so wonderful. I believe its called being Demisexual and I have only recently discovered this explains me.
Can't just do the physical deed and could never have sex with a random stranger.
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Thanks! I now have a term for the way I’m wired. I’m surprised I haven’t heard of demisexual before now.
 
shadylady02nz said:
Don't have to be 'in love' but definitely have to have some emotional connection to make sex so so wonderful. I believe its called being Demisexual and I have only recently discovered this explains me.
Can't just do the physical deed and could never have sex with a random stranger.
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Hmm, learning more things. Sex without a bond is lacking but it is doable --- but not PREFERABLE --- for me so I guess I'm not a demisexual.
 
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