MerryeMikee
Mature Man
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- Dec 28, 2025
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- 895
A short seasonal one
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
Claustrophobic.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
Claustrophobic.
Bigbutathletic
Mellon Collie
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- Dec 29, 2025
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What is the difference between a ginger and a politician?
One actually has a soul
One actually has a soul
Sinstories
Yep, that's me
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- Jul 8, 2015
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I just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon....we'll see
mugsgame
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Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed my shotgun and the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to load the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out hunting in that weather'?
There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out hunting in that weather'?
mugsgame
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The wife who couldn’t have an orgasm…
So paddy and marry were married for 45 years.
In 45 years marry had never had an orgasm, not one single orgasm.
Paddy loved Mary and said look I’ll do whatever it takes to give you an orgasm, I love ya.
So paddy takes his wife to the doctor and doctor runs a bunch of tests, and he says look I think your wife is overheating during sex.
What you need to do is go buy a large industrial size fan, you know the large circle fans they have in warehouses, buy one of those and point it directly on your wife while your having intercourse.
So paddy who loves his wife dearly knocks on his neighbors door, he says neighbor you told me if I ever needed anything from you I only had to ask. So he explained the situation and said what I need you to do is come over tonight and grab a towel fold it and fan my wife off while I’m having sex with her. The neighbor agrees.
So that night while he’s having sex with his wife the neighbor is standing in the corner of the room with a towel folded and he is fanning them off.
Nothing I feel nothing the wife exclaims, why don’t you switch with the neighbor and let him have a go and you grab the fan and you fan me off.
Reluctantly the husband and the neighbor agree. So now the husband is standing in the corner fanning off his wife while the neighbor is having sex with her.
1 orgasm, 2 orgasm, legs shaking bed a rattling 3 orgasm. Oh my god I can’t take anymore she exclaims that was amazing.
The husband with a proud grin on his face turns at the neighbor and says, "That’s how you fan her down you son of a bitch!"
So paddy and marry were married for 45 years.
In 45 years marry had never had an orgasm, not one single orgasm.
Paddy loved Mary and said look I’ll do whatever it takes to give you an orgasm, I love ya.
So paddy takes his wife to the doctor and doctor runs a bunch of tests, and he says look I think your wife is overheating during sex.
What you need to do is go buy a large industrial size fan, you know the large circle fans they have in warehouses, buy one of those and point it directly on your wife while your having intercourse.
So paddy who loves his wife dearly knocks on his neighbors door, he says neighbor you told me if I ever needed anything from you I only had to ask. So he explained the situation and said what I need you to do is come over tonight and grab a towel fold it and fan my wife off while I’m having sex with her. The neighbor agrees.
So that night while he’s having sex with his wife the neighbor is standing in the corner of the room with a towel folded and he is fanning them off.
Nothing I feel nothing the wife exclaims, why don’t you switch with the neighbor and let him have a go and you grab the fan and you fan me off.
Reluctantly the husband and the neighbor agree. So now the husband is standing in the corner fanning off his wife while the neighbor is having sex with her.
1 orgasm, 2 orgasm, legs shaking bed a rattling 3 orgasm. Oh my god I can’t take anymore she exclaims that was amazing.
The husband with a proud grin on his face turns at the neighbor and says, "That’s how you fan her down you son of a bitch!"
mugsgame
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Three guys are naked in a sauna...
...talking about business when suddenly there's a little ringtone, clear as day.
The 1(st) guy holds his hand to his head, thumb and pinky extended so that it looks like a phone. He has a whole conversation with what appears to be a secretary.
"Sorry about that, chaps," the 1(st) guy says. "It's this new invention; they implant all the gear straight into your hand. I'm such a tech bro now."
"That's nothing," the 2(nd) guy says. "Watch this." And with that his eyes glow, projecting a 3D hologram of what appears to be his secretary, before he asks his diary be cleared.
"Sorry about that chaps," the 2(nd) guy says. "It's just my head phone; wired straight to by cerebral cortex. I'm more of a cyborg."
The 3(rd) guy is thinking fast, the tension in the room is palpable. He excuses himself, rushes out and stuffs one end of the toilet roll up his arse, before returning to the sauna...
"What's that ?!" the other two say, pointing to the ream of paper trailing behind him. The 3(rd) guy says, "Sorry, chaps. Looks like I'm getting a fax."
...talking about business when suddenly there's a little ringtone, clear as day.
The 1(st) guy holds his hand to his head, thumb and pinky extended so that it looks like a phone. He has a whole conversation with what appears to be a secretary.
"Sorry about that, chaps," the 1(st) guy says. "It's this new invention; they implant all the gear straight into your hand. I'm such a tech bro now."
"That's nothing," the 2(nd) guy says. "Watch this." And with that his eyes glow, projecting a 3D hologram of what appears to be his secretary, before he asks his diary be cleared.
"Sorry about that chaps," the 2(nd) guy says. "It's just my head phone; wired straight to by cerebral cortex. I'm more of a cyborg."
The 3(rd) guy is thinking fast, the tension in the room is palpable. He excuses himself, rushes out and stuffs one end of the toilet roll up his arse, before returning to the sauna...
"What's that ?!" the other two say, pointing to the ream of paper trailing behind him. The 3(rd) guy says, "Sorry, chaps. Looks like I'm getting a fax."
mugsgame
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Englishman, Irishman and a Scot are convinced their wives are having affairs.
Englishman says; "My wife must be having an affair with mechanic. When I came home I saw his overalls under our bed."
Scot says; "My wife is having an affair with a musician. I saw a guitar under our bed."
Irish man says; "Mine is having an affair with a horse."
Englishman and Scot look at him in disbelief.
"Oh yeah." He continues. "When I got home there was a jockey under our bed."
Englishman says; "My wife must be having an affair with mechanic. When I came home I saw his overalls under our bed."
Scot says; "My wife is having an affair with a musician. I saw a guitar under our bed."
Irish man says; "Mine is having an affair with a horse."
Englishman and Scot look at him in disbelief.
"Oh yeah." He continues. "When I got home there was a jockey under our bed."
mugsgame
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A man goes to a massage therapist for the first time...
He's starting to feel quite relaxed, but then suddenly starts to notice something.
Man: "Is it normal to get an erection during a massage?"
Massage Therapist: "Yes, it's completely normal. Just don't think about it and relax."
Man: "Okay, but do you mind keeping it away from my face?"
He's starting to feel quite relaxed, but then suddenly starts to notice something.
Man: "Is it normal to get an erection during a massage?"
Massage Therapist: "Yes, it's completely normal. Just don't think about it and relax."
Man: "Okay, but do you mind keeping it away from my face?"
mugsgame
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A man was waiting in at his bank and he started massaging the shoulders of the man standing in front of him.
The man turned around and said, "What are you doing?!"
The massage therapist said, "Oh, I'm a massage therapist and I thought I'd get some practice in while I waited in line."
The other man said, "Well, I'm an attorney and you don't see me fucking the guy in front of me, do you?!"
The man turned around and said, "What are you doing?!"
The massage therapist said, "Oh, I'm a massage therapist and I thought I'd get some practice in while I waited in line."
The other man said, "Well, I'm an attorney and you don't see me fucking the guy in front of me, do you?!"
mugsgame
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The Old Man and the Prostitute
An old man answers the door and there's a prostitute there who smiles saying to him, “For your 80th birthday your friends bought you super sex!!”
The old man looked at the scantily clad young woman and said, “I'll take the soup!”
An old man answers the door and there's a prostitute there who smiles saying to him, “For your 80th birthday your friends bought you super sex!!”
The old man looked at the scantily clad young woman and said, “I'll take the soup!”
mugsgame
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A man walks into a bar, orders a double bourbon, neat, and downs it in a single gulp.
“How big is a penguin?” he asks.
The barman says, “Around 18 inches.”
He orders another double bourbon, neat, and gulps it down.
“What’s the biggest a penguin can ever be?”
The barman frowns. “Three feet, maybe an inch or two more.”
The man orders a third double bourbon, neat, and gulps it down even quicker.
He sighs. “I think I may have run over a nun.”
“How big is a penguin?” he asks.
The barman says, “Around 18 inches.”
He orders another double bourbon, neat, and gulps it down.
“What’s the biggest a penguin can ever be?”
The barman frowns. “Three feet, maybe an inch or two more.”
The man orders a third double bourbon, neat, and gulps it down even quicker.
He sighs. “I think I may have run over a nun.”
mugsgame
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Man walks into a bar and orders 5 shots.
He gulps them down as fast as the bartender can pour them.
"Why are you drinking like that?" asks the bartender
"Oh you would drink like that if you had what I had?" answered the man.
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"25 cents..."
He gulps them down as fast as the bartender can pour them.
"Why are you drinking like that?" asks the bartender
"Oh you would drink like that if you had what I had?" answered the man.
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"25 cents..."
mugsgame
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A cop pulls over a blonde driving 35 on a 75 MPH highway
The cop asks the blonde why she is driving so slow.
She replies, "The sign back there says 35!"
The cop says, "Ma'am, that is the interstate sign, this is I-35, the speed limit is not 35."
He then notices someone in the passenger seat who is profusely sweating and trembling.
He asks the man what is wrong.
He replies, "We just got off of State Road 250."
The cop asks the blonde why she is driving so slow.
She replies, "The sign back there says 35!"
The cop says, "Ma'am, that is the interstate sign, this is I-35, the speed limit is not 35."
He then notices someone in the passenger seat who is profusely sweating and trembling.
He asks the man what is wrong.
He replies, "We just got off of State Road 250."
mugsgame
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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on the run from the cops...
They quickly find an abandoned potato factory and each hide inside an empty barrel. The cops are looking all around and the sheriff asked the deputy to kick those barrels over there to make sure they're not hiding.
The deputy kicks the first barrel and the brunette shouts, "Bark! Bark! Bark!"
The sheriff says, "Leave it! I don't want no dog biting our ankles."
The deputy kicks the second barrel and the redhead says, "Meowwww!"
The sheriff says, "Leave it! I don't need some cat scratching our faces out here."
The deputy kicks the third barrel, and the blonde yells, "Potatoes!"
They quickly find an abandoned potato factory and each hide inside an empty barrel. The cops are looking all around and the sheriff asked the deputy to kick those barrels over there to make sure they're not hiding.
The deputy kicks the first barrel and the brunette shouts, "Bark! Bark! Bark!"
The sheriff says, "Leave it! I don't want no dog biting our ankles."
The deputy kicks the second barrel and the redhead says, "Meowwww!"
The sheriff says, "Leave it! I don't need some cat scratching our faces out here."
The deputy kicks the third barrel, and the blonde yells, "Potatoes!"
untamedmind
Virgin
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- Nov 15, 2025
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a penguin drops his car off at the mechanic because it's driving rough. while waiting, he notices an ice cream shop across the street and decides to go get something to eat. he gets a huge vanilla ice cream cone, eats it sloppily and dozes off on a bench. suddenly he wakes up, realizing he fell asleep and rushes back to the mechanic. the mechanic looks up from the penguins car when he comes in and says "looks like you blew a seal." the penguin says "no i just ate ice cream."
mugsgame
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Timmy was the youngest of 3 kids and his parents did their best to keep him from learning swears and threatened his siblings to be grounded if they ever taught him.
It's Thanksgiving and Timmy walks into his sister's room and hears her on the phone party line saying "...whatever, you're a bunch of bitches and bastards." Timmy asks "what does bitches and bastards mean?" His sister stumbles a bit bit says "oh, yea umm, it means ladies and gentlemen...now get out!"
Timmy then walks by his brother's room and sees him playing Nintendo. Just then his brother dies in the game and says... "cocks and tits!!" he asks his brother "is that part of the game?" The brother turns around, gasps, and says. "no no no oh it's nothing it just means, umm, 'hats and coats', really not a big deal man so just forget about it"
So Timmy goes downstairs and is about to ask his mom if his siblings are lying when she cuts her hand while slicing the turkey and yells "fucking fuck!" and so he asks his mom "what does fucking fuck mean?" she's mortified and goes silent but then says "sweetie, it just means to 'cut', you see how I'm cutting the turkey? Anyway go get me a bandaid from your father".
Timmy goes into the bathroom where his dad is shaving and just then he nicks himself while shaving and yells "ASS!" and before Timmy speaks dad says "listen, that word is just the grownup way of saying 'face' don't worry about it."
Timmy gets the bandaid and goes back downstairs. Just then, mom hears the doorbell and tells Timmy to let the guests in. So he opens the door, looks up at everyone and says... "Hello bitches and bastards, may I take your cocks and tits? My mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey and my dad's shaving his ass!"
It's Thanksgiving and Timmy walks into his sister's room and hears her on the phone party line saying "...whatever, you're a bunch of bitches and bastards." Timmy asks "what does bitches and bastards mean?" His sister stumbles a bit bit says "oh, yea umm, it means ladies and gentlemen...now get out!"
Timmy then walks by his brother's room and sees him playing Nintendo. Just then his brother dies in the game and says... "cocks and tits!!" he asks his brother "is that part of the game?" The brother turns around, gasps, and says. "no no no oh it's nothing it just means, umm, 'hats and coats', really not a big deal man so just forget about it"
So Timmy goes downstairs and is about to ask his mom if his siblings are lying when she cuts her hand while slicing the turkey and yells "fucking fuck!" and so he asks his mom "what does fucking fuck mean?" she's mortified and goes silent but then says "sweetie, it just means to 'cut', you see how I'm cutting the turkey? Anyway go get me a bandaid from your father".
Timmy goes into the bathroom where his dad is shaving and just then he nicks himself while shaving and yells "ASS!" and before Timmy speaks dad says "listen, that word is just the grownup way of saying 'face' don't worry about it."
Timmy gets the bandaid and goes back downstairs. Just then, mom hears the doorbell and tells Timmy to let the guests in. So he opens the door, looks up at everyone and says... "Hello bitches and bastards, may I take your cocks and tits? My mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey and my dad's shaving his ass!"
mugsgame
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Larry and Linda
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says “Where in the hell have you been?”
He replies, “I was out getting a tattoo."
”A tattoo?” She said angrily. “”What kind of tattoo did you get?”
“I got a hundred dollar bill on my dick”
“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in rage; “Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?”
“Well, For one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; once in a while I like to play with my money, three; I like how money feels in my hand and lastly; instead of you going out and shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says “Where in the hell have you been?”
He replies, “I was out getting a tattoo."
”A tattoo?” She said angrily. “”What kind of tattoo did you get?”
“I got a hundred dollar bill on my dick”
“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in rage; “Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?”
“Well, For one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; once in a while I like to play with my money, three; I like how money feels in my hand and lastly; instead of you going out and shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
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