Kim's poly/kink thread reinvented ...

[AngelicaS1780]

lol ... no, it was pretty explicit making out. He just turned out to be a little ... I dunno, narcissistic, I think?

And that's such a delightful quality.
Almost as good as the ones who aren't honest about just wanting a one time hookup.

 

[KimGordon67]

And that's such a delightful quality.
Almost as good as the ones who aren't honest about just wanting a one time hookup.

LOL. Yeah. I don't actually know if narcissistic really nails it ... he was just so *negative* about things. And also spent literally ten minutes (if not fifteen) explaining the correct way to paint architrave (because he's a painter and plasterer), while showing literally no interest in what I do beyond how it related to his life ... so maybe a little narcissistic along with the negative. Pity, because the actual making out was pretty good ... but once I'd cum, I kind of lost interest and just wanted to go home and get into my own bed. Alone.

That does make me sound a bit shallow.

 

[SophieUK]

And that's such a delightful quality.
Almost as good as the ones who aren't honest about just wanting a one time hookup.

(sorry to but in but.....) is it just me that actually finds something attractive about the honesty of coming out with “I just want a one time hook-up”, plain and simple , you know what you’re getting, no frills no deception?

 

[KimGordon67]

(sorry to but in but.....) is it just me that actually finds something attractive about the honesty of coming out with “I just want a one time hook-up”, plain and simple , you know what you’re getting, no frills no deception?

One of the most successful pick up lines I've ever encountered was someone whispering in my ear 'I just want to take you home and fuck you senseless'. I love the direct approach ... if people were honest about just wanting a one time thing, I'd be absolutely fine about that. Although I suspect it's not what I really want overall, there's no harm in having a little fun on the way to finding the perfect arrangement.

 

[SophieUK]

One of the most successful pick up lines I've ever encountered was someone whispering in my ear 'I just want to take you home and fuck you senseless'. I love the direct approach ... if people were honest about just wanting a one time thing, I'd be absolutely fine about that. Although I suspect it's not what I really want overall, there's no harm in having a little fun on the way to finding the perfect arrangement.

Exactly!!

 

[LizVegas79]

Also sorry to butt in but just had to say ....

(sorry to but in but.....) is it just me that actually finds something attractive about the honesty of coming out with “I just want a one time hook-up”, plain and simple , you know what you’re getting, no frills no deception?

You are in no way alone in feeling this way.

One of the most successful pick up lines I've ever encountered was someone whispering in my ear 'I just want to take you home and fuck you senseless'. I love the direct approach ... if people were honest about just wanting a one time thing, I'd be absolutely fine about that. Although I suspect it's not what I really want overall, there's no harm in having a little fun on the way to finding the perfect arrangement.

And, I "fell" for pretty much that exact same line more times than I'm willing to admit in such polite company!

 

[KimGordon67]

And, I "fell" for pretty much that exact same line more times than I'm willing to admit in such polite company!

LOL - it's pretty nice to have someone just be so direct. Who *doesn't* want to make someone feel like that? I think everyone likes knowing they have that sort of effect on people.
I try to make a habit of texting someone if I've just made myself cum thinking about them, just to let them know. I don't think anyone's ever said 'ew'.

 

[LizVegas79]

LOL - it's pretty nice to have someone just be so direct. Who *doesn't* want to make someone feel like that? I think everyone likes knowing they have that sort of effect on people.
I try to make a habit of texting someone if I've just made myself cum thinking about them, just to let them know. I don't think anyone's ever said 'ew'.

You're absolutely right Kim! I know I like to know when I have that effect on people (some of the time anyways lol).

So, umm, do you have Jason Momoa, Antonio Banderas and Charlize Theron's numbers? I'm a little behind in my text Thank You's!

 

[KimGordon67]

You're absolutely right Kim! I know I like to know when I have that effect on people (some of the time anyways lol).

So, umm, do you have Jason Momoa, Antonio Banderas and Charlize Theron's numbers? I'm a little behind in my text Thank You's!

LOL - I can just see Jason Momoa's cheeky smile and raised eyebrow while he's reading that. God that man is gorgeous.

 

[LizVegas79]

LOL - I can just see Jason Momoa's cheeky smile and raised eyebrow while he's reading that. God that man is gorgeous.

Do NOT get me started! I'm laying in bed next to my sleeping husband! lol

(I can soooo see that cheeky smile of his!)

 

[AngelicaS1780]

(sorry to but in but.....) is it just me that actually finds something attractive about the honesty of coming out with “I just want a one time hook-up”, plain and simple , you know what you’re getting, no frills no deception?

It's certainly not just you.
I far prefer that to someone saying that they are interested in an ongoing arrangement when they know they are not.

 

[SophieUK]

It's certainly not just you.
I far prefer that to someone saying that they are interested in an ongoing arrangement when they know they are not.

Thanks! There’s also a certain frisson from someone (male or female) basically saying they just want to rut with you lol

 

[KimGordon67]

OK, a question for the hive mind ... I've been trying to work out how to get around my somewhat sudden and slightly debilitating self consciousness about my body. I mean, I'm exercising and slightly dieting, which is the obvious proper solution, but it's a slow process, and I'm hoping I will get laid sometime in the next six months, which is about how long I'm expecting the physical shift to take.
So ... in the interim, would it be weird if I just didn't get totally naked in front of people. Like, just wore a short slip or something like. The only bit of me I'm really having an issue with is my stomach, so something that covered that while still make most everything else 'accessible', at least until I got comfortable with someone.
Would that be strange?

 

[SophieUK]

OK, a question for the hive mind ... I've been trying to work out how to get around my somewhat sudden and slightly debilitating self consciousness about my body. I mean, I'm exercising and slightly dieting, which is the obvious proper solution, but it's a slow process, and I'm hoping I will get laid sometime in the next six months, which is about how long I'm expecting the physical shift to take.
So ... in the interim, would it be weird if I just didn't get totally naked in front of people. Like, just wore a short slip or something like. The only bit of me I'm really having an issue with is my stomach, so something that covered that while still make most everything else 'accessible', at least until I got comfortable with someone.
Would that be strange?

So it almost goes without saying (but I’m saying it? Durrr) that you should not let this worry you - it’s his/her issue to deal with if you are gracing then with your beautiful body
but it does bother you , I get that and I understand the self consciousness .. I don’t have weight issues but was self conscious after giving birth and found that camisoles worked well... they look and feel slinky (especially if you spend the sort of money I do! My weakness!) , cover up the tummy and leave enough to the imagination

Sx

(Although you didn’t ask, my friends swear by the 5:2... needs some initial discipline but is apparently quite liberating !)

 

[KimGordon67]

So it almost goes without saying (but I’m saying it? Durrr) that you should not let this worry you - it’s his/her issue to deal with if you are gracing then with your beautiful body
but it does bother you , I get that and I understand the self consciousness .. I don’t have weight issues but was self conscious after giving birth and found that camisoles worked well... they look and feel slinky (especially if you spend the sort of money I do! My weakness!) , cover up the tummy and leave enough to the imagination

Sx

(Although you didn’t ask, my friends swear by the 5:2... needs some initial discipline but is apparently quite liberating !)

Yes ... maybe getting myself something cute to wear would be a nice treat as well. I have a couple of things that would work OK, including a short actual silk slip, that is actually its own little sensory pleasure.

I think I have the diet thing nailed - I eat pretty sensibly most of the time anyway, so it was just a matter of cutting out the chocolate, not drinking wine every night, and easing up on the carbs a bit. I mostly need to exercise more - especially now the menopause thing seems to have happened. I started yoga this week, which I turned out to really enjoy, and I'm walking more. I'm terrible as exercising for its own sake, so the gym won't be happening, but just doing more physical stuff is good for me.

And yes ... I know I should worry. I think I just need something to 'take the edge off' the first couple of times with people. I feel like I've gotten pretty good over the years at dressing to hide the problematic bits - people are always kind of surprised when I tell them what size clothes/bra I wear, for instance - but then if you have to uncover those bits in front of someone, they're not necessarily expecting that ... or maybe I just THINK they're not expecting that. I don't know ... I just want to be with someone without worry about what I look like.
Ugh.

 

[AnnieLit]

would it be weird if I just didn't get totally naked in front of people. Like, just wore a short slip or something like. The only bit of me I'm really having an issue with is my stomach, so something that covered that while still make most everything else 'accessible', at least until I got comfortable with someone.
Would that be strange?

Don't know about slips, but a corset is not going to be wierd at all! They are available pretty cheap on e-bay (new ), some with stockings clips, some without. Even if they do have clips those can be taken off, so you can decide later if you want them or not. Just be careful with sizing as they are different from seller to seller and will not match any standard sizes you are used to.

I have this one, it is rather stretchy and soft, but still looks nice and hides midsection:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Women-Plus...t-Corset-Lace-up-Bustier-Garter-/272751967242
There are some stiffer ones that will actually hold you in and act as a real corset.

 

[KimGordon67]

Don't know about slips, but a corset is not going to be wierd at all! They are available pretty cheap on e-bay (new ), some with stockings clips, some without. Even if they do have clips those can be taken off, so you can decide later if you want them or not. Just be careful with sizing as they are different from seller to seller and will not match any standard sizes you are used to.

I have this one, it is rather stretchy and soft, but still looks nice and hides midsection:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Women-Plus...t-Corset-Lace-up-Bustier-Garter-/272751967242
There are some stiffer ones that will actually hold you in and act as a real corset.

Hmmm ... I'm not sure if that's quite my thing. Gorgeous, but I really need to be able to try underwear on, and while things are cheap on eBay if you're in the US, it's a different story if you need to cover international shipping as well. But I might think about something along those lines ... the other thing is that I'm in a little beach side town, and hoping to meet someone local - small beachside towns just somehow don't quite have a 'corset vibe'. It's hard to explain.
I need to try some stuff on next time I'm in the proper city.

 

[AnnieLit]

Hmmm ... I'm not sure if that's quite my thing. Gorgeous, but I really need to be able to try underwear on, and while things are cheap on eBay if you're in the US, it's a different story if you need to cover international shipping as well. But I might think about something along those lines ... the other thing is that I'm in a little beach side town, and hoping to meet someone local - small beachside towns just somehow don't quite have a 'corset vibe'. It's hard to explain.
I need to try some stuff on next time I'm in the proper city.

They sell same staff on aliexpress with same prices or a bit cheaper. Many sellers there offer free shipping to the US, so I would think they will ship for free to you too, but that I am not 100% sure about.

Beachtown vibe vs corset vibe... In the bedroom it is whatever vibe you say it is! As long as you yourself are comfortable with wearing any particular type of lingerie, I don't think any man in their right mind will object. Is it a silly costume? Yes. So what?! If it makes you keep your head up and your shoulders back, it's doing its job.

I hear you about trying things on. Unfortunately, with this stuff it is not always possible to find in a brick-and-mortar store. Around here they do sell them in sex shops, but never anything in my size. And even if they had it, it would be 3-4 times more expensive than online.

I don't know if you have free shipping and returns with Amazon... If you do, sometimes it is possible to order on Amazon, try it on, return to Amazon, and find the exact same model on ali or e-bay, but much-much cheaper and still with free shipping.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

OK, a question for the hive mind ... I've been trying to work out how to get around my somewhat sudden and slightly debilitating self consciousness about my body. I mean, I'm exercising and slightly dieting, which is the obvious proper solution, but it's a slow process, and I'm hoping I will get laid sometime in the next six months, which is about how long I'm expecting the physical shift to take.
So ... in the interim, would it be weird if I just didn't get totally naked in front of people. Like, just wore a short slip or something like. The only bit of me I'm really having an issue with is my stomach, so something that covered that while still make most everything else 'accessible', at least until I got comfortable with someone.
Would that be strange?

I don't think it's strange at all to undress down to the slip/camisole/chemise. However, a someone will, before too long, want to slide his hands up under it. Liking what he finds there, he may want to pull it off over your head. To me, that is the only time that it might seem a little strange to want to leave it on, as he already has a good idea of what the slip is covering.
*Just a hypothetical something to consider. Obviously, no one has the right to expect you to go past your limits.*
Also, I understand worrying about one's tummy. I post mine in the Chubby Tummies thread over in AmPics to work on my self consciousness.

 

[KimGordon67]

I don't think it's strange at all to undress down to the slip/camisole/chemise. However, a someone will, before too long, want to slide his hands up under it. Liking what he finds there, he may want to pull it off over your head. To me, that is the only time that it might seem a little strange to want to leave it on, as he already has a good idea of what the slip is covering.
*Just a hypothetical something to consider. Obviously, no one has the right to expect you to go past your limits.*
Also, I understand worrying about one's tummy. I post mine in the Chubby Tummies thread over in AmPics to work on my self consciousness.

I think once I was comfortable with someone, it would be OK. I had a weird moment with my ex-BF a while back where he said he was a bit frustrated that he couldn't touch my tummy - I didn't even realise that I wasn't 'letting' him do that, so obviously it's some magical thing I do without even really meaning to. LOL. But a couple of weeks after he said that, I made a conscious decision and actually put his hand there. He was so happy! But that took quite a while for me to feel OK about it. It's just about the other person really ... so no more hot 34 year olds, because they just make me UBER self conscious.
The am pics idea is good.

 

[Blase]

I try to make a habit of texting someone if I've just made myself cum thinking about them, just to let them know. I don't think anyone's ever said 'ew'.

I once had an IM exchange that went pretty much like this:

Her: Actually, our first play session wasn't the first time I came for you.

Me: Oh? When was it?

Her: It was after I read the email where you described your fantasy about (redacted).

The next thing I said to her was not, "Ew."

 

[TorontoShane]

OK, a question for the hive mind ... I've been trying to work out how to get around my somewhat sudden and slightly debilitating self consciousness about my body. I mean, I'm exercising and slightly dieting, which is the obvious proper solution, but it's a slow process, and I'm hoping I will get laid sometime in the next six months, which is about how long I'm expecting the physical shift to take.
So ... in the interim, would it be weird if I just didn't get totally naked in front of people. Like, just wore a short slip or something like. The only bit of me I'm really having an issue with is my stomach, so something that covered that while still make most everything else 'accessible', at least until I got comfortable with someone.
Would that be strange?

Not strange at all. Your partner should always strive to know you are comfortable as well. I guess I'll come at from a different angle, as someone always open with nudity, the idea of "dressing up" for sex and during sex, is something that can add a lot of sexuality and be very sensual. And echoing the AMpics comment. Positive feedback will always boost a mood and bring a smile to your face.

 

[KimGordon67]

I once had an IM exchange that went pretty much like this:

Her: Actually, our first play session wasn't the first time I came for you.

Me: Oh? When was it?

Her: It was after I read the email where you described your fantasy about (redacted).

The next thing I said to her was not, "Ew."

Precisely.
I used to have a 'friend' that I'd make x-rated recordings for. I used to love him telling me about listening to them - I think my favourite was that he played one once while skiing down a mountain.

 

[KimGordon67]

Not strange at all. Your partner should always strive to know you are comfortable as well. I guess I'll come at from a different angle, as someone always open with nudity, the idea of "dressing up" for sex and during sex, is something that can add a lot of sexuality and be very sensual. And echoing the AMpics comment. Positive feedback will always boost a mood and bring a smile to your face.

Thanks ... it's good to get a guy perspective as well.

 

[TorontoShane]

Thanks ... it's good to get a guy perspective as well.

You are very welcome, glad to share some insight.