Kim's poly/kink thread reinvented ...

[MrRetro]

I do wax my own legs (with the pre-waxed strips) - that's actually not that painful, pretty easy to do yourself, and last a lot longer than shaving. After a while the hairs give up and stop growing back so much as well.

I like the feeling of a brazilian myself, in a sexual context - I think it makes everything a little more sensitive. But I don't bother if there's no one to care ... another question for new lovers. 'Do you like waxed or prefer au naturelle?'

I’m a fan of the natural bush, though a little maintenance now and then I appreciate..! The waxed look doesn’t do anything for me at all, it doesn’t even feel better.. Oh, and the feeling of public hair on my lips and bristling against my cheeks is so arousing..!

 

[KimGordon67]

I’m a fan of the natural bush, though a little maintenance now and then I appreciate..! The waxed look doesn’t do anything for me at all, it doesn’t even feel better.. Oh, and the feeling of public hair on my lips and bristling against my cheeks is so arousing..!

Interesting, isn't it ... I think porn really has a lot to answer for in terms of what 'ideal' women's genitals look like. I guess those are the ones we see most often, so we kind of end up accepting that as the norm. Having said that, I really do like how everything feels when I've been waxed ... I always keep a bit of hair, because I prefer the look of there being some, but I also like the feeling of smooth skin, including contact with others.

 

[MrRetro]

Interesting, isn't it ... I think porn really has a lot to answer for in terms of what 'ideal' women's genitals look like. I guess those are the ones we see most often, so we kind of end up accepting that as the norm. Having said that, I really do like how everything feels when I've been waxed ... I always keep a bit of hair, because I prefer the look of there being some, but I also like the feeling of smooth skin, including contact with others.

Yes it is interesting.. Modern pornography has lot to answer for, I agree, especially when it comes to our genitalia.. I feel there is a change on the horizon however, there seems to be a movement of acceptance of women having more pubic hair in pornography.. This is great, most of my pornography preferences have women with full bushes anyway, there is something natural and beautiful about a naturally clad woman in pornography..

That said I can’t honestly say the same for men, I prefer to keep myself mostly hair free.. Not really for looks, but just for the way it feels.. So I do understand why women chose this as well..

 

[ThaDonger]

Mind if I join the conversation?

Pornography is guilty of numerous self esteem problems within my age group I feel (l'm almost 50). Both male and female models are not what you typical partner will live up to.

For women it went through a period of large breast. So large it looked stupid and extremely unattractive in the early days of breast implants. It doesn't seem to be the case much anymore, atleast not the ridiculously large breast with the nipples on top anyway. I personally am not a fan of the natural look on a woman. Visually, there is nothing more sexy than a bit of pubic hair nicely trimmed on a lady.

For men, if you have ever seen a porn, you know why it's all about size with a guy. In the majority of porn, a much younger girl is with this guy and his cock is the size of her arm. Of course most men feel they can not compete with that. Especially when you watch it and she loves it, worships it and by her sounds, orgasms 20 times on it. So yes, men are always seeking approval or validation from women if they measure up so to say. And I'm sorry but the answer "it's not the size that matters" will never change his mind. Just like "No it doesn't make your ass look big."

It is good to see more body types represented though. Like full figured women, uncircumcised men and women older than 20. Now if only the dad bod can take over mainstream.

 

[KimGordon67]

As is probably obvious throughout this thread, I feel all the insecurities that go along with being a woman who could probably stand to lose a bit of weight, but I'm not an 'unhealthy' weight - I'm just carrying a bit more around my belly than I'd ideally like.

At this precise moment, that's compounded by the fact that I, somehow, ended up having a long conversation yesterday with some 34 year old guy who I met on a dating site and who's quite local ... usually I avoid guys under 40, but something about this one's initial message and profile blurb made me think 'hmmm'. And now I'm panicking. PANICKING.

 

[AnnieLit]

As is probably obvious throughout this thread, I feel all the insecurities that go along with being a woman who could probably stand to lose a bit of weight, but I'm not an 'unhealthy' weight - I'm just carrying a bit more around my belly than I'd ideally like.

At this precise moment, that's compounded by the fact that I, somehow, ended up having a long conversation yesterday with some 34 year old guy who I met on a dating site and who's quite local ... usually I avoid guys under 40, but something about this one's initial message and profile blurb made me think 'hmmm'. And now I'm panicking. PANICKING.

Don't panic just yet!
Does he know your real age? Or at least a number somewhat close to it? If he does and he was the one to make the first contact, chances are he actually is into older women and ...ghm... all imperfections that the age brings. There is a reason why at 34 he did not swipe right (or whatever direction you are supposed to swipe for a "yes") somebody under 30, but instead is talking to you.

I met quite a few guys like that. Well, not really met face-to-face as this is not the age group I am interested in, but talked a bit when they contacted me. They are a curious bunch: most of them are somewhat submissive and looking for a Mommy Domme (even if they don't think about it in these terms), but not all, some are more dominant and are getting their fill just from the idea of dominating a much older woman.

 

[MrRetro]

Mind if I join the conversation?

Pornography is guilty of numerous self esteem problems within my age group I feel (l'm almost 50). Both male and female models are not what you typical partner will live up to.

For women it went through a period of large breast. So large it looked stupid and extremely unattractive in the early days of breast implants. It doesn't seem to be the case much anymore, atleast not the ridiculously large breast with the nipples on top anyway. I personally am not a fan of the natural look on a woman. Visually, there is nothing more sexy than a bit of pubic hair nicely trimmed on a lady.

For men, if you have ever seen a porn, you know why it's all about size with a guy. In the majority of porn, a much younger girl is with this guy and his cock is the size of her arm. Of course most men feel they can not compete with that. Especially when you watch it and she loves it, worships it and by her sounds, orgasms 20 times on it. So yes, men are always seeking approval or validation from women if they measure up so to say. And I'm sorry but the answer "it's not the size that matters" will never change his mind. Just like "No it doesn't make your ass look big."

It is good to see more body types represented though. Like full figured women, uncircumcised men and women older than 20. Now if only the dad bod can take over mainstream.

Well pornography certainly isn’t reality.. But you make valid points..

We are all so different, I actually prefer a well rounded woman with a healthy amount of pubic hair in a porn film.. I’m more aroused watching a woman that I can relate to in reality than in fantasy.. When it comes to men, I feel there has been a slight improvement in porn, with men of all shapes and sizes making an appearance.. I don’t generally have a preference, just as long as the woman is genuinely aroused.. Some women prefer a well endowed man, some don’t.. In my opinion what makes a porn film erotic is the pleasure experienced by the woman and her genuine arousal.. The mans arousal is somewhat obvious..

I don’t feel insecure by watching a woman in porn enjoy a well endowed man, it’s a thing of beauty..

 

[MrRetro]

As is probably obvious throughout this thread, I feel all the insecurities that go along with being a woman who could probably stand to lose a bit of weight, but I'm not an 'unhealthy' weight - I'm just carrying a bit more around my belly than I'd ideally like.

At this precise moment, that's compounded by the fact that I, somehow, ended up having a long conversation yesterday with some 34 year old guy who I met on a dating site and who's quite local ... usually I avoid guys under 40, but something about this one's initial message and profile blurb made me think 'hmmm'. And now I'm panicking. PANICKING.

I wouldn’t panic.. A lot of men, myself included, enjoy the company of older shapely women.. The fact that he has contacted you might suggest he looks for older women.. If he has been with older women before, he’ll probably appreciate that the extra curves come with extra experience and a certain level of sexual confidence..

We are all our own worst critics..! I can almost guarantee that from the perspective of any mans eyes, you look great, and by far more appealing than you give yourself credit for..

 

[KimGordon67]

I wouldn’t panic.. A lot of men, myself included, enjoy the company of older shapely women.. The fact that he has contacted you might suggest he looks for older women.. If he has been with older women before, he’ll probably appreciate that the extra curves come with extra experience and a certain level of sexual confidence..

We are all our own worst critics..! I can almost guarantee that from the perspective of any mans eyes, you look great, and by far more appealing than you give yourself credit for..

That's very sweet ... but STILL PANICKING!!!

 

[cookiecat]

That's very sweet ... but STILL PANICKING!!!

I'm on course to meet someone in about 3 weeks. It's been a long time since I've been naked with anyone. Like - years. And years.

I'm thinking it is what it is. But I'm resembling that panicked feeling!!

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm on course to meet someone in about 3 weeks. It's been a long time since I've been naked with anyone. Like - years. And years.

I'm thinking it is what it is. But I'm resembling that panicked feeling!!

Ha ... this one seems to be not happening. I'm a little disappointed ... and confused ... but then a friend reminded me that at least I don't have to worry about getting naked now.

 

[cookiecat]

Ha ... this one seems to be not happening. I'm a little disappointed ... and confused ... but then a friend reminded me that at least I don't have to worry about getting naked now.

The whole ghosting this is really beyond me. It does seem like a real thing though. Makes me feel old. "Kids these days! No manners at all!"

Naked woulda been good!

 

[KimGordon67]

The whole ghosting this is really beyond me. It does seem like a real thing though. Makes me feel old. "Kids these days! No manners at all!"

Naked woulda been good!

Yeah, I don't get it either ... I was trying to think if I'd ever done that unintentionally. I think if you've only exchanged a couple of messages, it's sort of OK to just fade away without real explanation - there's no real connection, or even a click. That happens a fair bit, and I'm OK about that - and I probably do it to other people without really noticing.
Sometimes more ongoing stuff just tails off as well, usually online ... it's like you both just run out of things to talk about.
But if there's obviously a real connection, or even if you've obviously just clearly clicked and/or if there's been some sort of plan to meet (whether really or virtually), I do think it's polite to at least just say 'I changed my mind'.

Having said that, it's not necessarily a new thing. It's just taking different forms, and maybe it's a bit easier than it once was, and possibly more prevalent because we just communicate with other people so much. But it's always happened.

 

[KimGordon67]

Ha ... this one seems to be not happening. I'm a little disappointed ... and confused ... but then a friend reminded me that at least I don't have to worry about getting naked now.

Well, turns out I was wrong about that ... and I can how officially cross 'getting a booty call' off my bucket list. (It never actually was on my bucket list, but if it had been, it doesn't need to be any more.)

 

[MrRetro]

Well, turns out I was wrong about that ... and I can how officially cross 'getting a booty call' off my bucket list. (It never actually was on my bucket list, but if it had been, it doesn't need to be any more.)

Does this mean the end of your panic..? I hope it was much better than anticipated..

 

[KimGordon67]

Does this mean the end of your panic..? I hope it was much better than anticipated..

Ha ha - I discovered the key to not panicking is surprising yourself by saying 'sure' when someone texts at 2am to see if they can come over. (There was more to it than that, including an apology, but that was the basic gist of it.) If you turn up at someone's place at that time of night, you just get them in their PJs with no make up on. I managed to fit in a 45 second shower before he got here, but that was pretty much it.
It was ... fun. I'm interested to see if there's a Round II, but I'm also fine if there isn't.

 

[AnnieLit]

Ha ha - I discovered the key to not panicking is surprising yourself by saying 'sure' when someone texts at 2am to see if they can come over. (There was more to it than that, including an apology, but that was the basic gist of it.) If you turn up at someone's place at that time of night, you just get them in their PJs with no make up on. I managed to fit in a 45 second shower before he got here, but that was pretty much it.
It was ... fun. I'm interested to see if there's a Round II, but I'm also fine if there isn't.

Good for you!

 

[MrRetro]

Ha ha - I discovered the key to not panicking is surprising yourself by saying 'sure' when someone texts at 2am to see if they can come over. (There was more to it than that, including an apology, but that was the basic gist of it.) If you turn up at someone's place at that time of night, you just get them in their PJs with no make up on. I managed to fit in a 45 second shower before he got here, but that was pretty much it.
It was ... fun. I'm interested to see if there's a Round II, but I'm also fine if there isn't.

Oh great news..! And this was the same 34 year old that was showing interest..? I hope he left a lasting impression and left you feeling a little more comfortable with your feminine shape..

 

[KimGordon67]

Ha ha - I discovered the key to not panicking is surprising yourself by saying 'sure' when someone texts at 2am to see if they can come over. (There was more to it than that, including an apology, but that was the basic gist of it.) If you turn up at someone's place at that time of night, you just get them in their PJs with no make up on. I managed to fit in a 45 second shower before he got here, but that was pretty much it.
It was ... fun. I'm interested to see if there's a Round II, but I'm also fine if there isn't.

Turns out there was no Round II, and he also elected to completely ignore the couple of follow up messages I sent. So that's irritating ... especially given all the pre-getting-laid messages saying he'd help me out with stuff that needs doing around the house, assuring me he's not fussed about body type, etc etc. (I didn't really want him for the odd jobs, but that's sort of the level he was pitching things at.) I do feel a little bit like that might have been a strategy in the whole 'getting laid' game - that's the annoying part. I don't have a problem with people just wanting to get laid, but freaking SAY that's all you want. No doubt I'll bump into him somewhere extremely awkward like the supermarket at some point soon. Sigh.

Unfortunately the whole thing left me feeling a bit self conscious as well ... because one can't help but thinking 'obviously it was my naked body that put him off'. So I'm annoyed about that as well ... annoyed all the way to the yoga studio. That hasn't quite started yet, but it's the plan, and I have sorted out my diet a bit (which mostly translates as 'drinking less wine) and am doing more exercise.

... and now I have another date lined up. This is a bit odd - it's a guy I chatted with briefly on Tinder, which was all very innocent and just chatty, but then I spotted him on the other site (where I found the youngster) ... the photos there are a little more ... ahem ... naked. Totally naked actually. So I message him on Tinder something like 'Well this is awkward ... I appear to have found your penis on the internet'. Hilarity ensued (like, actually - he entered into the joke with good spirit), and it all resulted in us arranging to meet while I'm in the big city this weekend. He's younger, but only by ten years ... it's all a bit odd, because he's also now seen my ass, which is plastered all over the 'other' site. My profile there is also a bit more explicit - actually, MrRetro, I copied and pasted a bit out of an exchange we had recently (only my words, not yours), which was surprisingly useful. I did have a bit of a chat with him about the general level of self consciousness I'm feeling right now.

So we will see ... argh. WTF do you wear on a date when the datee has already seen photos of your bum?

 

[AnnieLit]

Unfortunately the whole thing left me feeling a bit self conscious as well ... because one can't help but thinking 'obviously it was my naked body that put him off'.
[...]
WTF do you wear on a date when the datee has already seen photos of your bum?

1. His loss! Obviously he figured he will never get another chance with you, so desided to quit while he was ahead.

2. Em... I wear the same clothes on any dates. Some of the guys had links to my Lit accounts before we met and PhotoKink has quite a few bum pictures. So what? I never even considered that to be a factor. I share those pictures with them for two reasons: so that they know what to expect (if they are looking for a twig, I am not her) and have at least some idea of what I like (there are some kink pictures too, not just nudes). But those are more of conversation starters, we still have to jump through all the usual hoops.

Good luck with your date!

 

[numeniusa]

<snip>
WTF do you wear on a date when the datee has already seen photos of your bum?

Easy. Something with cleavage. #notjustaprettybum

 

[KimGordon67]

Easy. Something with cleavage. #notjustaprettybum

Funnily enough, the dress I was thinking of does indeed have a fair bit of cleavage. Like, you have to make sure you're wearing a nice bra as well.

 

[KimGordon67]

Saturday night date ... ended up making out at a beach! LOL. Haven't done that for a while. It was cute, but he ended up being a bit irritating, so making out was all that happened.

 

[MrRetro]

Saturday night date ... ended up making out at a beach! LOL. Haven't done that for a while. It was cute, but he ended up being a bit irritating, so making out was all that happened.

Well making out on the beach sounds like fun, I hope there was a little fondling action happening as well..!

Maybe he’s just trying to be a gentleman..

 

[KimGordon67]

Well making out on the beach sounds like fun, I hope there was a little fondling action happening as well..!

Maybe he’s just trying to be a gentleman..

lol ... no, it was pretty explicit making out. He just turned out to be a little ... I dunno, narcissistic, I think?