Kim's poly/kink thread reinvented ...

[KimGordon67]

Humor is a necessity in my book, especially for a relationship of any depth. Life is full of things we should be laughing about...and it makes the harder points in time more easily bearable.

Humour is always important. Sex doesn't always need to be taken so seriously. Sometimes, but not always. And sometimes joking around about stuff can lead to some interesting discoveries. Like 'ha ha ha - obviously I'm not going to like that you dick - wtf are you thinkin ... Oh, well maybe I actually do like that after all'.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I have a partner where we don’t do eye contact. It puts me into more of a submissive mindset and it’s a preference of his. I had another partner where eye contact was much more involved. Both resulted in very intense sessions but different. I’m not really sure if I have a preference.

I’m interested in knowing what particular techniques people like or even dislike. I always want to learn more. I wish I had an even better imagination to think of more things to try.

 

[KimGordon67]

I have a partner where we don’t do eye contact. It puts me into more of a submissive mindset and it’s a preference of his. I had another partner where eye contact was much more involved. Both resulted in very intense sessions but different. I’m not really sure if I have a preference.

I’m interested in knowing what particular techniques people like or even dislike. I always want to learn more. I wish I had an even better imagination to think of more things to try.

I think if the lack of eye contact has been made explicit, and is a clearly stated preference, that's a slightly different thing ... and yes, I can see how it would make one feel more submissive (or alternatively, actually, more dominant).

If we're talking about techniques for blow jobs ... and I know you're asking for what the receivers prefer ... and I'm not really sure if anything I do is that unusual ... but taking his whole cock into my mouth and then flicking just under the head with my tongue (that bit has a technical name, I think, but I can't remember it right now) ... really, bringing the tongue into play as much as possible. Applying quite a bit of suction ... someone once said to me 'cocks can actually take quite a bit - it's the balls you really need to be more careful of', and I've remembered that. Wrapping my lips around just the head and applying a fair bit of suction there seems to be a favourite. Judicious use of teeth, but you need to know someone a bit for that - some guys like it, others do NOT react favourably. Grabbing his bum and really pulling him into my mouth.
It's been a while since I've been in a situation where I've felt able to really take my time with a blow job - I'm sure there's other things I do that I've forgotten about until the next time I have the chance to bring them into play.

I look forward to responses from the receivers of blow jobs as to what they really like.

 

[drobert44]

I think if the lack of eye contact has been made explicit, and is a clearly stated preference, that's a slightly different thing ... and yes, I can see how it would make one feel more submissive (or alternatively, actually, more dominant).

If we're talking about techniques for blow jobs ... and I know you're asking for what the receivers prefer ... and I'm not really sure if anything I do is that unusual ... but taking his whole cock into my mouth and then flicking just under the head with my tongue (that bit has a technical name, I think, but I can't remember it right now) ... really, bringing the tongue into play as much as possible. Applying quite a bit of suction ... someone once said to me 'cocks can actually take quite a bit - it's the balls you really need to be more careful of', and I've remembered that. Wrapping my lips around just the head and applying a fair bit of suction there seems to be a favourite. Judicious use of teeth, but you need to know someone a bit for that - some guys like it, others do NOT react favourably. Grabbing his bum and really pulling him into my mouth.
It's been a while since I've been in a situation where I've felt able to really take my time with a blow job - I'm sure there's other things I do that I've forgotten about until the next time I have the chance to bring them into play.

I look forward to responses from the receivers of blow jobs as to what they really like.

I dont need deepthroat, love it when they loll all over the head of my dick. And, swallowing is the best!

 

[KimGordon67]

I dont need deepthroat, love it when they loll all over the head of my dick. And, swallowing is the best!

Interesting - other guys love deep throat. I had a guy who, if the angle was right, said he could feel my throat closing around the head of his cock. That's obviously a personal preference thing ... but I think attention to the head is also important ... and who doesn't swallow???

 

[NC_Coastal]

I think you're right about the tongue flick. The underside of my cock head is the sweet spot. As for suction, I can go either why. My ex wasn't much on suction but her blowjobs were the wettest I've ever experienced. Super, slobbering, saliva everywhere wet. And I'd say those were the best blow jobs I've ever received. Then again, I had another woman simply take the head of my cock in her mouth and make me cum with just suction using her tongue to make it super tight. She also liked to suck my balls while she jacked the head of my cock. It was incredible.

 

[KimGordon67]

I think you're right about the tongue flick. The underside of my cock head is the sweet spot. As for suction, I can go either why. My ex wasn't much on suction but her blowjobs were the wettest I've ever experienced. Super, slobbering, saliva everywhere wet. And I'd say those were the best blow jobs I've ever received. Then again, I had another woman simply take the head of my cock in her mouth and make me cum with just suction using her tongue to make it super tight. She also liked to suck my balls while she jacked the head of my cock. It was incredible.

Yeah, I've know one or two other guys to comment favourably on wetness ... maybe that's something I'll experiment with. I think I tend to veer away from that because it seems ... messy, I guess, and I'm quite a tidy girl. But in the interests of research, let's see how it goes. You know, for science.
All interesting ideas, really.

 

[drobert44]

Interesting - other guys love deep throat. I had a guy who, if the angle was right, said he could feel my throat closing around the head of his cock. That's obviously a personal preference thing ... but I think attention to the head is also important ... and who doesn't swallow???

The sissies I did didnt swallow, but when I went gay I sure did!

 

[ultramarineblue]

I think if the lack of eye contact has been made explicit, and is a clearly stated preference, that's a slightly different thing ... and yes, I can see how it would make one feel more submissive (or alternatively, actually, more dominant).

If we're talking about techniques for blow jobs ... and I know you're asking for what the receivers prefer ... and I'm not really sure if anything I do is that unusual ... but taking his whole cock into my mouth and then flicking just under the head with my tongue (that bit has a technical name, I think, but I can't remember it right now) ... really, bringing the tongue into play as much as possible. Applying quite a bit of suction ... someone once said to me 'cocks can actually take quite a bit - it's the balls you really need to be more careful of', and I've remembered that. Wrapping my lips around just the head and applying a fair bit of suction there seems to be a favourite. Judicious use of teeth, but you need to know someone a bit for that - some guys like it, others do NOT react favourably. Grabbing his bum and really pulling him into my mouth.
It's been a while since I've been in a situation where I've felt able to really take my time with a blow job - I'm sure there's other things I do that I've forgotten about until the next time I have the chance to bring them into play.

I look forward to responses from the receivers of blow jobs as to what they really like.

I love to swallow. I do those same things. I also like kind of moving my hand up and down I’m kind of a swirling motion keeping my lips next to my mouth as I move up and down. I can’t imagine not moving my tongue around a lot during one. One time he had me pull his balls up around the shaft a bit and that was fun. I’m like you in that I can’t remember it all until I am doing it. He also likes for to stop and hold him in my mouth halfway which I love because I can feel him twitch. I’ve recently gotten better at deep throating which makes me very happy because my gag reflex is very sensitive. I’ve tried to desensitize it with various techniques but they haven’t really worked. I like varying speed and pressure. Recently I was taught to increase suction as I go down and decrease as I move up. I struggle with that one.

 

[KimGordon67]

I love to swallow. I do those same things. I also like kind of moving my hand up and down I’m kind of a swirling motion keeping my lips next to my mouth as I move up and down. I can’t imagine not moving my tongue around a lot during one. One time he had me pull his balls up around the shaft a bit and that was fun. I’m like you in that I can’t remember it all until I am doing it. He also likes for to stop and hold him in my mouth halfway which I love because I can feel him twitch. I’ve recently gotten better at deep throating which makes me very happy because my gag reflex is very sensitive. I’ve tried to desensitize it with various techniques but they haven’t really worked. I like varying speed and pressure. Recently I was taught to increase suction as I go down and decrease as I move up. I struggle with that one.

I find deep throating easier with practice, but if I haven't done it for a while, I lose the knack. I think I've only ever met one cock that I couldn't fully manage - and he was just TOO big. Fucking was uncomfortable. (He was also the dude who kept his eyes closed the whole time ... maybe he thought having a big penis was all he needed to do to make women happy? So wrong.)

 

[HotBrand]

Hi, Kim! Just checking in after an accidental absence; hoping everything is going really great for you!

I think I've only ever met one cock that I couldn't fully manage - and he was just TOO big.

My ignorance is going to show here but (anyone can answer - please): what makes a cock too big?

I mean, I have a tiny mouth, so girth seems the most direct reason to me. If people generally mean length, is that because it hits the back of the mouth, or is there a trick to gaining a few extra inches?

I'm ... kind of asking because I've never had the whole "take it all in while hard" experience. It makes me think that it's hard to do, naturally, without gaining enough experience as the giver to "gain those extra inches" when doing it.

 

[KimGordon67]

Hi, Kim! Just checking in after an accidental absence; hoping everything is going really great for you!


My ignorance is going to show here but (anyone can answer - please): what makes a cock too big?

I mean, I have a tiny mouth, so girth seems the most direct reason to me. If people generally mean length, is that because it hits the back of the mouth, or is there a trick to gaining a few extra inches?

I'm ... kind of asking because I've never had the whole "take it all in while hard" experience. It makes me think that it's hard to do, naturally, without gaining enough experience as the giver to "gain those extra inches" when doing it.

I can't speak of everyone, but apparently taking an entire erect cock in one's mouth isn't something everyone can (easily) do.

With this guy though, when I say he was *too* long, it was more to do with fucking. I just find it uncomfortable.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I find deep throating easier with practice, but if I haven't done it for a while, I lose the knack. I think I've only ever met one cock that I couldn't fully manage - and he was just TOO big. Fucking was uncomfortable. (He was also the dude who kept his eyes closed the whole time ... maybe he thought having a big penis was all he needed to do to make women happy? So wrong.)

Practice definitely helps. I’m not very interested in practicing on objects though. I’d much rather practice on someone.

 

[KimGordon67]

Practice definitely helps. I’m not very interested in practicing on objects though. I’d much rather practice on someone.

I've NEVER practiced on anything other than an actual penis ... which I guess technically makes it 'attempting to do the thing' rather than 'practicing'. I couldn't take anything else seriously enough - I'd just end up laughing.

 

[AnnieLit]

I think part of it is this - contrary to Lit (which is a site that attracts an erotic oriented community). When it comes to lovers:

1. There are those who have no interest in/will not perform/will not receive oral sex. That's that 20% of people who report never having oral sex.
2. There are those who are oral sex reluctant, they will give or receive oral sex, but only rarely and under very exacting circumstances. That's fine and falls into the "everyone has their preference category". That's the 60% of people who report not having oral sex in the last year.
3. There are those who do not like oral sex but will perform it for a partner if requested - but that reluctance (which is apparent if you're paying attention, as you should be) is a buzz kill.
4. Then there are those who see oral sex as "prelude only" and it plays a limited role in their sex life, restricted to "before coitus" only.
5. There are those who are simply "not good" at it, whom it's a mechanical act, or a limited variation act, and who miss feedback entirely and aren't willing to vary their technique. These are the people you sometimes encounter who are lovers who won't pay attention to or take any improvement tips.
6. Finally, there are those who are enthusiastic (like Kim), who derive pleasure from it, and who work to improve their abilities as a lover.

I think one of the things that happens in life is the "selection bias" - for those of us who love oral sex, we gravitate toward partners who share that. So, we wonder "why doesn't everyone love oral sex" because in our experience, the people we associate with do.

Not sure if this was mentioned before, but there are also those that would gladly give, if allowed, and enjoy giving for their own benefit too, not just doing it for the partner, but rather reluctant at receiving an oral. It is especially fun when BOTH partners are this way

 

[AnnieLit]

I've NEVER practiced on anything other than an actual penis ... which I guess technically makes it 'attempting to do the thing' rather than 'practicing'. I couldn't take anything else seriously enough - I'd just end up laughing.

Mmmm.... One can be made to practice on something else. Sort of by force, but when you 100% sure in your partner, it is not a bad type of being forced into anything. I don't know how to explain it, but I am pretty much sure you know what I mean.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Yeah, I've know one or two other guys to comment favourably on wetness ... maybe that's something I'll experiment with. I think I tend to veer away from that because it seems ... messy, I guess, and I'm quite a tidy girl. But in the interests of research, let's see how it goes. You know, for science.
All interesting ideas, really.

I had one guy mention that he didn’t like extremely sloppy wet ones but he did like it to be wet. I think there is a fine line for him as to what is too messy and what is not.

I've NEVER practiced on anything other than an actual penis ... which I guess technically makes it 'attempting to do the thing' rather than 'practicing'. I couldn't take anything else seriously enough - I'd just end up laughing.

I feel like I would be that way unless like Annie states with being made to do it as an act of submission. I still would struggle with it and would have to be firmly told though.

Mmmm.... One can be made to practice on something else. Sort of by force, but when you 100% sure in your partner, it is not a bad type of being forced into anything. I don't know how to explain it, but I am pretty much sure you know what I mean.

I completely understand what you’re saying.

 

[Paul_Chance]

So, I've been thinking about the "technique" part of the question for a while. Technique is more a personal opinion, but I have three "techniques" I've been on the receiving end that I found to be pretty memorable and are in my personal "Hall of Fame".

1. "Hot and Cold": This one I was introduced to when I was younger, but an older lover. She asked me if to pick hot or cold. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I just said hot. She went into the hotel room bathroom and basically ran her hands under the hot tap until they were hot, and took and held some of the hot water in her mouth until it had heated up as well. She brought a coffee cup of hot water back to the bedside. Then, when she went down on me, it was the most incredible sensation to have my cock engulfed in her hot mouth, with a hot tongue lashing around and hot hands fondling me. A very explosive technique. Cold is simply using ice for that purpose.

2. "The Anatomy Lesson": This technique isn't so much mouth/tongue, but hand related. If you take two fingers, or the edge of your hand, and press firmly up (how firmly can depend on the recipient, what they like) beneath the balls, right at the base of the cock, and then, as his orgasm approaches - apply a very firm pressure, which basically cuts off the blood flow to the penis (via the vein that runs through there), apply strong suction and hold the pressure for a minute or two, then release the pressure from the base of the penis. This is an incredible sensation which, when combined with the suction, creates an incredible surge of fresh blood into the penis and can result in an eye rolling orgasm for the man. You can also "pulse" the pressure during the build up.

3. "The Musician": So, I have a good friend (and sometimes lover) who is a studio musician, a guitarist. She always makes love to music, so she can find the rhythm (which is not a bad trick over all). Understanding how rhythm works on the mind, it's connecting at a deep subconscious level and matching the rhythm of the blow job up with the rhythm of the music. She'll basically mentally isolate the rhythm guitar strum and deliver the blow job in the same pattern. There is something about the rhythmic pattern that "connects" the pleasure centers together. Imagine sucking the lover's cock in a pattern where the pressure (tightness with your lips) like:

Down
Down
Down
Up-Down

Or:

Down
Down
Down
Down
Up
Up

This repetitive pattern is pretty damn powerful.

4. "The Countdown": She (the musician) also taught me this one. Basically, take a value (say eight) and count it down. She's fond of the eight count which looks like this:

Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, Fast, Fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast

Bonus Content: All four of these true "techniques" also work for men going down on a woman. And like any good musician - combine multiple techniques and build your own symphony of moans.

 

[KimGordon67]

So, I've been thinking about the "technique" part of the question for a while. Technique is more a personal opinion, but I have three "techniques" I've been on the receiving end that I found to be pretty memorable and are in my personal "Hall of Fame".

1. "Hot and Cold": This one I was introduced to when I was younger, but an older lover. She asked me if to pick hot or cold. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I just said hot. She went into the hotel room bathroom and basically ran her hands under the hot tap until they were hot, and took and held some of the hot water in her mouth until it had heated up as well. She brought a coffee cup of hot water back to the bedside. Then, when she went down on me, it was the most incredible sensation to have my cock engulfed in her hot mouth, with a hot tongue lashing around and hot hands fondling me. A very explosive technique. Cold is simply using ice for that purpose.

2. "The Anatomy Lesson": This technique isn't so much mouth/tongue, but hand related. If you take two fingers, or the edge of your hand, and press firmly up (how firmly can depend on the recipient, what they like) beneath the balls, right at the base of the cock, and then, as his orgasm approaches - apply a very firm pressure, which basically cuts off the blood flow to the penis (via the vein that runs through there), apply strong suction and hold the pressure for a minute or two, then release the pressure from the base of the penis. This is an incredible sensation which, when combined with the suction, creates an incredible surge of fresh blood into the penis and can result in an eye rolling orgasm for the man. You can also "pulse" the pressure during the build up.

3. "The Musician": So, I have a good friend (and sometimes lover) who is a studio musician, a guitarist. She always makes love to music, so she can find the rhythm (which is not a bad trick over all). Understanding how rhythm works on the mind, it's connecting at a deep subconscious level and matching the rhythm of the blow job up with the rhythm of the music. She'll basically mentally isolate the rhythm guitar strum and deliver the blow job in the same pattern. There is something about the rhythmic pattern that "connects" the pleasure centers together. Imagine sucking the lover's cock in a pattern where the pressure (tightness with your lips) like:

Down
Down
Down
Up-Down

Or:

Down
Down
Down
Down
Up
Up

This repetitive pattern is pretty damn powerful.

4. "The Countdown": She (the musician) also taught me this one. Basically, take a value (say eight) and count it down. She's fond of the eight count which looks like this:

Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, Fast, Fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast

Bonus Content: All four of these true "techniques" also work for men going down on a woman. And like any good musician - combine multiple techniques and build your own symphony of moans.

I think I do number 3 without thinking about. I like number 4! I'll think on that a bit. 2 obviously requires a bit of practice ... maybe better when I get to know this guy a bit. And 1 is a nice trick - filed away for future reference.

 

[KimGordon67]

Small update ... yesterday the new new guy ... let's call him Geologist Guy, because he's a geologist ... messaged me to say he'd just had a much-needed wank. I'm not entirely sure why I needed to know this, but I thought 'well, as long as he's opening this up for discussion ...' and asked him what he'd been thinking about. Yes, that was a slightly loaded question, although I'm also just interested in that sort of thing. He said 'last Wednesday', which was definitely one of a pool of possible correct answers.
I'm seeing him tomorrow. Quite happy.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Yeah, a large of part of the success of any technique is the recipient - what do they respond to do, what do they like.

I texted my musician friend (because she was on my mind as I thought about this and I hadn't talked to her in while) with "I'm going to give your blow job secrets away". She got a kick out of it.

I think people play music during sex for three reasons - one, because it gets them in the mood (cue Al Green), two as cover noise (kids, neighbors, etc.) and three, for the rhythm. You have to be careful with rhythm though - I once had a girlfriend who insisted on playing Creedance Clearwater Revival during sex. From a rhythm/tempo standpoint that can be exhausting, especially on the more swamp-rocky pieces. I joke that I had PTSD from that lover and automatically spring an erection whenever I hear CCR.

 

[KimGordon67]

Yeah, a large of part of the success of any technique is the recipient - what do they respond to do, what do they like.

I texted my musician friend (because she was on my mind as I thought about this and I hadn't talked to her in while) with "I'm going to give your blow job secrets away". She got a kick out of it.

I think people play music during sex for three reasons - one, because it gets them in the mood (cue Al Green), two as cover noise (kids, neighbors, etc.) and three, for the rhythm. You have to be careful with rhythm though - I once had a girlfriend who insisted on playing Creedance Clearwater Revival during sex. From a rhythm/tempo standpoint that can be exhausting, especially on the more swamp-rocky pieces. I joke that I had PTSD from that lover and automatically spring an erection whenever I hear CCR.

Yeah ... I've had sex playing something like Big Black or Nine Inch Nails ... I really don't recommend that. (This was in my younger days.) Usually I have music on just because I have music on most of the time if I'm not working. It just makes me happy.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Music (in all it's forms) is powerful stuff. Glad to here he had the right answer! Also, finger-crossed this works into a steady, satisfying thing - at whatever level the two of you decide on.

 

[IrisAlthea]

So, I've been thinking about the "technique" part of the question for a while. Technique is more a personal opinion, but I have three "techniques" I've been on the receiving end that I found to be pretty memorable and are in my personal "Hall of Fame".

…

2. "The Anatomy Lesson": This technique isn't so much mouth/tongue, but hand related. If you take two fingers, or the edge of your hand, and press firmly up (how firmly can depend on the recipient, what they like) beneath the balls, right at the base of the cock, and then, as his orgasm approaches - apply a very firm pressure, which basically cuts off the blood flow to the penis (via the vein that runs through there), apply strong suction and hold the pressure for a minute or two, then release the pressure from the base of the penis. This is an incredible sensation which, when combined with the suction, creates an incredible surge of fresh blood into the penis and can result in an eye rolling orgasm for the man. You can also "pulse" the pressure during the build up.
…

Judging from the feedback I’ve had from partners, technique number two doesn’t seem very well known and the part of the penis involved seems to be neglected a lot.

 

[ultramarineblue]

So, I've been thinking about the "technique" part of the question for a while. Technique is more a personal opinion, but I have three "techniques" I've been on the receiving end that I found to be pretty memorable and are in my personal "Hall of Fame".

1. "Hot and Cold": This one I was introduced to when I was younger, but an older lover. She asked me if to pick hot or cold. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I just said hot. She went into the hotel room bathroom and basically ran her hands under the hot tap until they were hot, and took and held some of the hot water in her mouth until it had heated up as well. She brought a coffee cup of hot water back to the bedside. Then, when she went down on me, it was the most incredible sensation to have my cock engulfed in her hot mouth, with a hot tongue lashing around and hot hands fondling me. A very explosive technique. Cold is simply using ice for that purpose.

2. "The Anatomy Lesson": This technique isn't so much mouth/tongue, but hand related. If you take two fingers, or the edge of your hand, and press firmly up (how firmly can depend on the recipient, what they like) beneath the balls, right at the base of the cock, and then, as his orgasm approaches - apply a very firm pressure, which basically cuts off the blood flow to the penis (via the vein that runs through there), apply strong suction and hold the pressure for a minute or two, then release the pressure from the base of the penis. This is an incredible sensation which, when combined with the suction, creates an incredible surge of fresh blood into the penis and can result in an eye rolling orgasm for the man. You can also "pulse" the pressure during the build up.

3. "The Musician": So, I have a good friend (and sometimes lover) who is a studio musician, a guitarist. She always makes love to music, so she can find the rhythm (which is not a bad trick over all). Understanding how rhythm works on the mind, it's connecting at a deep subconscious level and matching the rhythm of the blow job up with the rhythm of the music. She'll basically mentally isolate the rhythm guitar strum and deliver the blow job in the same pattern. There is something about the rhythmic pattern that "connects" the pleasure centers together. Imagine sucking the lover's cock in a pattern where the pressure (tightness with your lips) like:

Down
Down
Down
Up-Down

Or:

Down
Down
Down
Down
Up
Up

This repetitive pattern is pretty damn powerful.

4. "The Countdown": She (the musician) also taught me this one. Basically, take a value (say eight) and count it down. She's fond of the eight count which looks like this:

Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, Fast, Fast, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, slow
Fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast

Bonus Content: All four of these true "techniques" also work for men going down on a woman. And like any good musician - combine multiple techniques and build your own symphony of moans.

I have used very similar techniques but want to try each one specifically focusing on those techniques. Thank you so much for sharing them.