Kim's poly/kink thread reinvented ...

[cookiecat]

That was one of the hardest shifts for me... but also the best. Once I realized that I very rarely don’t get what I want and I always get what I need from him every other part kinda feel into place and I stopped feeling like I was losing something because I wasn’t the ONLY woman in his life. I just began feeling like I was an important part of his life. It felt really great once that no longer was a stumbling block in my head

This is a really great post.

I do firmly believe we are NOT meant to be monogamous. That's a lot of pressure to make one person your everything.

That being said, I am monogamous. My brain, my heart, my pussy are all wired around one. I'm not sure I could handle two. It would take a lot of rewiring to figure it out. Good for you, Tink.

 

[KimGordon67]

I would frequently do a nervous jittery "I feel weird" dance. It only lasted a millisecond. More like a shiver. I knew how things would turn out if the person I was with thought it was endearing or thought I was bananas.

Don't lead with it as the breaking news story of the night. Perhaps work it in.

Have fun.

'Fun' is what I'm aiming for. The last date was actually fun, even though we didn't really click - we had a lot to talk about, had a really nice meal, and laughed a lot ... and the table next to us had two people who also looked to be on their first date who didn't seem to be enjoying themselves nearly so much, so 'fun' isn't an inevitable outcome. And I think I like this guy better than the last one ... which is maybe why I'm more nervous. (I do actually tend to say 'nervous' when I meet people on dates for the first time and they ask how I am ... I think that's OK.)

 

[tolyk]

Kim, just be you nervous is fine. Self-doubts about your body are fine. Just be genuine. Be you.

You'll rock

 

[KimGordon67]

Kim, just be you nervous is fine. Self-doubts about your body are fine. Just be genuine. Be you.

You'll rock

 

[Paul_Chance]

Men have body doubts on the first date as well. Am I tall enough? Am I fit enough? Do I have enough hair? Is this a good smile?

Really, first dates feel like a screening process or a job interview. They're normal. I usually just come right out and tell people I'm feeling nervous if that is what I am feeling. Then I will usually make fun of myself and use some of the techniques I learned through various working worlds to move through it.

 

[KimGordon67]

Men have body doubts on the first date as well. Am I tall enough? Am I fit enough? Do I have enough hair? Is this a good smile?

Really, first dates feel like a screening process or a job interview. They're normal. I usually just come right out and tell people I'm feeling nervous if that is what I am feeling. Then I will usually make fun of myself and use some of the techniques I learned through various working worlds to move through it.

Is 'vodka' one of those techniques?

 

[Paul_Chance]

Is 'vodka' one of those techniques?

LOL - there is a time when it was, but that was long ago.

 

[cookiecat]

Men have body doubts on the first date as well. Am I tall enough? Am I fit enough? Do I have enough hair? Is this a good smile?

Really, first dates feel like a screening process or a job interview. They're normal. I usually just come right out and tell people I'm feeling nervous if that is what I am feeling. Then I will usually make fun of myself and use some of the techniques I learned through various working worlds to move through it.

When I was in full on dating mode several years back, I got to a point where I thought about having a dating resume. Where did I live? What did I do for a living? What did I do for fun? My favorite movie? Why yes, I do enjoy sucking cock.

Clearly I got a little cynical about the process.

 

[cookiecat]

Is 'vodka' one of those techniques?

Enjoy yourself tonight. And updates! We need updates. I'm living vicariously.

 

[KimGordon67]

Enjoy yourself tonight. And updates! We need updates. I'm living vicariously.

It's actually not until this coming Friday ... I manage to spend a whole week in date panic.

 

[KimGordon67]

Enjoy yourself tonight. And updates! We need updates. I'm living vicariously.

However, one good update is that the BF still seems happy, and is making plans for the next weekend we're spending together, which is always a good sign. So maybe we are making progress there, and I can actually be optimistic for good reason.

 

[Dreamliner]

Impending date panic. Should you tell someone you're about to meet that you don't particularly love your body at the moment, so they know to be nice ... or is that just deeply unsexy?

Nope, be yourself, relax, the outside skin is packaging, you are much more than that Kim. Clothes are the wrapping, always nice to remove slowly. Hopefully with all the daily chats you both have the connection is being made and can continue seamlessly face to face.

 

[KimGordon67]

Nope, be yourself, relax, the outside skin is packaging, you are much more than that Kim. Clothes are the wrapping, always nice to remove slowly. Hopefully with all the daily chats you both have the connection is being made and can continue seamlessly face to face.

I hope so too ... realistically, we may well end up not clicking in person, and that's ok, but if we just have a good evening, that's still a win.

 

[Dreamliner]

I hope so too ... realistically, we may well end up not clicking in person, and that's ok, but if we just have a good evening, that's still a win.

Exactly, enjoy the night.

 

[KimGordon67]

Random thought I just had ... a friend was telling me about the Netflix show 'You Me Her', which somehow hasn't been on my radar until now, and it crossed my mind that cultural representations of poly relationships (and non-monogamy in general) seem to always be the F M F configuration ... am I right in thinking that, or is there a whole genre of fictional M F M relationships that I'm not aware of?

 

[MrRetro]

However, one good update is that the BF still seems happy, and is making plans for the next weekend we're spending together, which is always a good sign. So maybe we are making progress there, and I can actually be optimistic for good reason.

This is good news, you deserve this Kim..! I hope you date is as good as you hope, I can’t wait to hear all about it..!

 

[KimGordon67]

This is good news, you deserve this Kim..! I hope you date is as good as you hope, I can’t wait to hear all about it..!

 

[bob53]

Random thought I just had ... a friend was telling me about the Netflix show 'You Me Her', which somehow hasn't been on my radar until now, and it crossed my mind that cultural representations of poly relationships (and non-monogamy in general) seem to always be the F M F configuration ... am I right in thinking that, or is there a whole genre of fictional M F M relationships that I'm not aware of?

Check out the Showtime series that only ran a couple seasons:
https://www.sho.com/polyamory-married-and-dating

A lot of combinations represented.

 

[tolyk]

Random thought I just had ... a friend was telling me about the Netflix show 'You Me Her', which somehow hasn't been on my radar until now, and it crossed my mind that cultural representations of poly relationships (and non-monogamy in general) seem to always be the F M F configuration ... am I right in thinking that, or is there a whole genre of fictional M F M relationships that I'm not aware of?

It's not truly about Poly, but if you have not watched it, check out Sense 8. It was fantastic. Showed a great interconnectedness

 

[KimGordon67]

It's not truly about Poly, but if you have not watched it, check out Sense 8. It was fantastic. Showed a great interconnectedness

I watched a bit of that when it first came out, but then sort of lost interest. Maybe I need to revisit it.

 

[KimGordon67]

Check out the Showtime series that only ran a couple seasons:
https://www.sho.com/polyamory-married-and-dating

A lot of combinations represented.

Thanks - I'll see if I can find it. We're a little limited here in the things we have access to, but it may be buried in some streaming service or other.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Thanks - I'll see if I can find it. We're a little limited here in the things we have access to, but it may be buried in some streaming service or other.

https://www.justwatch.com/ is useful for those "what streaming service has this show in my country?" questions.

Sadly in this case the answer appears to be "none of them".

 

[KimGordon67]

https://www.justwatch.com/ is useful for those "what streaming service has this show in my country?" questions.

Sadly in this case the answer appears to be "none of them".

this is literally saved to my favourites already. So irritating not having everything available ... which really is the definition of a first world problem.

 

[KimGordon67]

D minus six hours or something like that ... gah. Luckily I had a good night out last night - I'm away from home for a couple of days in the 'big city', and went to a gig last night with the ex husband, which was a lot of fun ... I'm actually sitting in his living room at the moment. Been exchanging a few silly texts with date-guy, and now burying myself in work in an attempt to distract myself.

Which date is it appropriate to say 'Do you feel like whacking my arse with your belt?' ... I feel that's probably not quite first date material.

 

[Paul_Chance]

D minus six hours or something like that ... gah. Luckily I had a good night out last night - I'm away from home for a couple of days in the 'big city', and went to a gig last night with the ex husband, which was a lot of fun ... I'm actually sitting in his living room at the moment. Been exchanging a few silly texts with date-guy, and now burying myself in work in an attempt to distract myself.

Which date is it appropriate to say 'Do you feel like whacking my arse with your belt?' ... I feel that's probably not quite first date material.

First date! First date!

It’ll make for a memorable first date story one way of another.