Ladies - When is a Woman Satisfied??

[Arden]

Re: Satisfaction

The only problem is <wink> Arden's wildly erotic imagination getting away on her outside the Literotica Bar.

Am I acting inappropriately? I'm still pretty new to Lit. I wasn't aware of any unwritten rules about the nature of posts, sorry if I offended anyone. Is it taboo to post off-topic replies?

No apologies for the imagination, however. I never leave home without it.

I may eventually visit the Literotica Bar. It appears that most of the folks there are already well acquainted, so venturing into that territory seems a bit intimidating for a new person, wild imagination or not. Who would ever believe that I'm a shy person... well, I was, anyhow.

 

[MsAngel]

Satisfied....

Being a virgin here still and getting braver with every post I thought I would add my words on what I think satisfies most women or atleast me.

Like many of those before me have written, it deals with a combination of orgasms and feelings. A peaceful calm of contentment comes over you, from your head to your toes. No words can actually describe it. It may not come with the first orgasm or the second but it comes from within. For me alone it is when I can look them in the eyes and see their pleasure reflecting there combined with my own pleasure. And of course is always followed by a little TLC. Yet there are many ways of showing TLC. Cuddling, kissing and carresses are just to name a few. One may not always be satisfied every time. We all hunger for more, especially when we are exceptionally horny. But when we are satisfied so is the hunger.

This all may seem sappy and it may be my overworked brain dreaming of what I think satisfaction may be.... I hope I have made of sense of what I am trying to say, if not we will blame it on lack of sleep on my part.


Angel

 

[Laineforfun]

Re: Satisfied....

Being a virgin here still and getting braver with every post I thought I would add my words on what I think satisfies most women or atleast me.

Like many of those before me have written, it deals with a combination of orgasms and feelings. A peaceful calm of contentment comes over you, from your head to your toes. No words can actually describe it. It may not come with the first orgasm or the second but it comes from within. For me alone it is when I can look them in the eyes and see their pleasure reflecting there combined with my own pleasure. And of course is always followed by a little TLC. Yet there are many ways of showing TLC. Cuddling, kissing and carresses are just to name a few. One may not always be satisfied every time. We all hunger for more, especially when we are exceptionally horny. But when we are satisfied so is the hunger.

This all may seem sappy and it may be my overworked brain dreaming of what I think satisfaction may be.... I hope I have made of sense of what I am trying to say, if not we will blame it on lack of sleep on my part.


Angel

I think you made perfect sense. Very well put Angel

Laine

 

[MsAngel]

Thank you Laine

Thank you Laine....

After working long hours yesterday and staying up late last night I was trying to write without sounding like a babbling idiot..lol Being sleepy like I was I had to read and read before I would post it. But now that I know what satisfies most of us and me... I just need to find that person in my life. I keep searching for that someone to make my life complete. Many times I have thought I found them only to become more wiser in my search.

Don't feel sad...I know that somewhere out there, there is a man to satsify me as I will do my best to satisfy him. Take care!

 

[Laineforfun]

MsAngel you will find that special someone I am sure, And when you do you will have lots of experiance so I am sure it will be wonderful. Good luck

Laine

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thanks Arden, Ms Angel and Laine for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

I guess the importance of staying on the thread topic is determined by the originator and the particular Board, Arden. As I understand it, taking a thread off topic is called hijacking. But sometimes that happens. Whatever you do, don't lose your wicked imagnation, it would be well placed amomg the Literotica Bar mob who are very friendly and know how to party. (But watch out for Barman Bill's cocktails, they have a reputation for being simply lethal.)

Your sentiments have been shared by many replies to this thread MsAngel, and they are definitely not sappy. Rather, they have been extended quite some distance as the posts show.

Nice to see you Laine.

Thank you all for sharing, the search goes on.

Don

 

[Ladybird]

Many of us have talked about the importance hugging, snuggling and cuddling after lovemaking. The pleasure of feeling our body against our lovers.

How about massage? Either sensuous or non. For me, the feel of my mans hands moving over my body slowly and lovingly is very satisfying.

As most women will confess, we don't always need to orgasm to be satisfied. There have been times when I've craved the the touch and feel of my lovers body against mine. I don't need intercourse to be satisfied, just his touch.. and the feel of his body.

Have other women here felt the same?

 

[Laineforfun]

I agree with you LadyBird. I love the feel of my s/o's body just touching me. It also makes me feel so special when my s/o just reaches out to touch me when things are busy and we pass eachother or when I least expect it. It always brings a smile to my face and I feel how completely in love with him I am. I do also love a nice massage or any comforting touch he does to me.

Very well put LadyBird you truly are a LADY in my book

Laine



Nice to see you too Don

Laine

 

[MsAngel]

Thanks Laine and Don for your encouraging words...

LadyBird you are so right about not having to have an orgasm to be satisfied...

Gentle touches out of the blue, caresses and the warmth of someone laying close to your body. That safe and secure feeling when being held. The goosebumps when they lightly trail fingers over your body, or softly through your tangled hair. Or a whisper in your ear just telling you how special you really are.Yes there are many ways... not all of them have to be sexual.

As far as the massages go... well I have yet to find a man that will actually give me more then a 5 min. massage! I on the other hand give massages all the time. Hopefull this winter I will be going to school for my dream job as massage therapist... but that is getting off the subject here.

Thank you Don for starting this thread... I just hope more men read this to learn "What Women Want" and to think they don't have to get electricuted like Mel Gibson to find out either.

Angel

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thanks Ladybird, Laine and MsAngel for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

We seem to have gone a long way from orgasmic exhaustion to find that satisfaction can occur without it. Simple pleasures . . .

Earlier on this thread some people suggested that orgasmic exhaustion was a "peak" in satisfaction with a relationship, but only part of the "landscape" of satisfaction for partners in that relationship. Where have we gone wrong??

Well, I don't think we have gone wrong. I think that English derived societies have a fear of sensuality which goes as far as religiously encouraged disgust with the human body. Consequently, human anatomy was a forbidden study for doctors in the eighteenth century, the misleading of the population regarding masturbation in the nineteenth century and the absence of sex education in Australian medical degrees at least until 1970, are evidence of this. Therefore massage was considered dirty because relieving muscular strain felt "good" and "feeling good" was not part of the establishment dogma. As for massage for sensual pleasure, well, that was totally verboten. It is only in recent, post 1980s society that massage has become "respectable" in "polite society".

Personally, Ladybird, I think every man would benefit from learning massage and anatomy. But not in schools because they would be politicised into make it boring rather than extremely exciting. Again, I get great pleasure from giving a full body massage the subsequent activities that follow. There is something extremely erotic about stimulating a partner to ecstasy before intercourse - it sure makes the following action very, very pleasurable.

Somehow Laine you have identified a common "complaint" among women, that is, "why do men only become passionate when they want sex?"

As a male I have been responsible for my share of this behaviour, but THERE IS A BETTER WAY.

If the literature is to be believed, then a passionate relationship continues 24/7, not once or twice a week on male demand. So, why not treat every second as a "seduction in progress", with the subsequent bedroom events the culmination of a longer period of wooing?

Back in my youth, Australia welcomed many Europeans escaping post-war re-construction and starting a new life here. There was an overwhelming number of free men, used to wooing ladies - much to the chagrin of the Aussie males. I remember going to traditional Aussie parties where the women were down one end of the hall, the men down the other getting palsey with the keg, and those @#*&%# "wogs" in the middle dancing with the ladies!! Fortunately, things have changed.

But we get the world we are prepared to accept, and those ladies who demand wooing usually get it - or another partner.

And you are correct, Laine, Ladybird is a very special person.

But back to practicalities. MsAngel, have you considered telling your s/o about your preferences and asking for more than 5 minutes massage? And, if he needs educating . . . well, he needs educating, I guess.

And as for promulgating the message, well, we have had over 2600 lurkers for about 130 replies, so the message is getting out slowly. I hope these lurkers also read the other important threads like

1. Try This and Report Back 5 star;
2. How Do I Finish a Blow Job 5 star;
3.

Thank you all for sharing, the search goes on.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Satisfaction

Thanks Ladybird, Laine and MsAngel for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

We seem to have gone a long way from orgasmic exhaustion to find that satisfaction can occur without it. Simple pleasures . . .

Earlier on this thread some people suggested that orgasmic exhaustion was a "peak" in satisfaction with a relationship, but only part of the "landscape" of satisfaction for partners in that relationship. Where have we gone wrong??

Well, I don't think we have gone wrong. I think that English derived societies have a fear of sensuality which goes as far as religiously encouraged disgust with the human body. Consequently, human anatomy was a forbidden study for doctors in the eighteenth century, the misleading of the population regarding masturbation in the nineteenth century and the absence of sex education in Australian medical degrees at least until 1970, are evidence of this. Therefore massage was considered dirty because relieving muscular strain felt "good" and "feeling good" was not part of the establishment dogma. As for massage for sensual pleasure, well, that was totally verboten. It is only in recent, post 1980s society that massage has become "respectable" in "polite society".

Personally, Ladybird, I think every man would benefit from learning massage and anatomy. But not in schools because they would be politicised into make it boring rather than extremely exciting. Again, I get great pleasure from giving a full body massage the subsequent activities that follow. There is something extremely erotic about stimulating a partner to ecstasy before intercourse - it sure makes the following action very, very pleasurable.

Somehow Laine you have identified a common "complaint" among women, that is, "why do men only become passionate when they want sex?"

As a male I have been responsible for my share of this behaviour, but THERE IS A BETTER WAY.

If the literature is to be believed, then a passionate relationship continues 24/7, not once or twice a week on male demand. So, why not treat every second as a "seduction in progress", with the subsequent bedroom events the culmination of a longer period of wooing?

Back in my youth, Australia welcomed many Europeans escaping post-war re-construction and starting a new life here. There was an overwhelming number of free men, used to wooing ladies - much to the chagrin of the Aussie males. I remember going to traditional Aussie parties where the women were down one end of the hall, the men down the other getting palsey with the keg, and those @#*&%# "wogs" in the middle dancing with the ladies!! Fortunately, things have changed.

But we get the world we are prepared to accept, and those ladies who demand wooing usually get it - or another partner.

And you are correct, Laine, Ladybird is a very special person.

But back to practicalities. MsAngel, have you considered telling your s/o about your preferences and asking for more than 5 minutes massage? And, if he needs educating . . . well, he needs educating, I guess.

And as for promulgating the message, well, we have had over 2600 lurkers for about 130 replies, so the message is getting out slowly. I hope these lurkers also read the other important threads like

1. Try This and Report Back 5 star;
2. How Do I Finish a Blow Job 5 star;
3. Deep Throating
4. Questions for ladies (2 threads)

and others on the How To . . . Board. Nothing beats knowledge and skill when it comes to sensual pleasure, and these very informative threads are some of the best advice I have seen anywhere.

Thank you all for sharing, the search goes on.

Don

 

[Svenskaflicka]

We left out the most obvious!!!

We have talked about the different ways of satisfying a woman; massage, foreplay, cuddling, lovemaking, understanding, seduction, caring, dancing, flirting, etc, but we have left out one of my favourites - cunnilingus!

Just like a guy who can dance gets to have much more fun on a night out than a guy who stays in the bar getting more drunk and more poor; a guy who gives good tongue gets a much more eager "reply" than the wimp who complains about the taste & smell, but has no problem with stuffing a dirty, goo-covered dick down a woman's throat - as if the gag reflex wasn't challenged enough allready!!!!

To all the men who read this thread - please, learn how to dance and learn how to lick a pussy!
Just as you'll get much more out of life if you encourage your woman to be strong and independent together with you, you'll get an even greater sex life if you learn how to fire a woman up with your tongue!!!

 

[Ladybird]

Svenskaflicka I couldn't agree with you more.

One thing that really makes me cranky is when a man hopes/expects me to suck his cock.. but won't put his mouth near me.

Also, the man who hopes/expects me to swallow his cum.. but won't kiss me after the event because of the taste.

Boy does that make me feel second class. It also ensures that the man in question will never see the inside of my bedroom again.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thanks Svenskaflicka and Ladybird for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

Oh dear, Svenskaflicka, how do I reply?? Cunnilingus is one of the great pleasures, especially when combined with Mr G's Try This and Report Back technique. How do you explain to somebody who has not tried the technique just how fantastic the Mr G method is??? How do you explain to somebody the exultant pleasure you receive as a male when you make a woman superhot, and she then takes an active role in lovemaking, if they have never made love to a woman writhing in erotic ecstasy, her mind out of control with pleasure, and her body continually racked with ecstatic spasms - long after you have finished making love??

I guess the only way is to tell anybody who will listen that this type of response is possible, that Mr G has defined a method that many have found works wonderfully, and suggest that everybody take their own sex education in their own hands and work with a cooperative partner to achieve these astonishing levels of pleasure. There will be many doubters who lack the courage to try, and many know-alls who won't believe that it can happen . . . but the Earth still revolves around the sun despite the Roman Church denying this fact for 400 years.

Once again, Ladybird, your commonsense approach is most laudable. Defining a relationship is a risky business because each partnership is unique. But speaking in the broadest generalities, it has been my observation that the most successful relationships involve a sharing within boundaries that have been negotiated by the partners, and only a fool would be judgmental of other people's relationships without knowing absolutely all the relevant facts.

Elf-esteem always plays an important part in relationships, and if your self-esteem is challenged by your partner, then you must defend it by negotiating a set of behaviours that are satisfactory to both partners.

Thank you both for sharing, the search goes on.

Don

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I know they are out there...

Each time you meet a loser who orders (!) you to suck his cock and swallow his sperm, while he himself wont touch your pussy, remember this story and don't lose hope.

Not once, but TWICE have I met a man that not only actually enjoyed giving me oral sex, but who actually liked it so much that he didn't want to fuck with me - he just carefully held me down and continued to lick me and tease me and make me cum ove5r and over and over and over again, just so he could enjoy making me feel like I was in heaven. After about one hour, I begged him to stop, as I was so exhausted that I was feeling dizzy, and my poor clit was getting sore. Afterwards, he didn't want me to suck him or fondle him or anything, which made me both surprised and a little disappointed, but he just hugged me and said that for now, he was just satisfied cuddling with me, knowing that he had truly, TRULY satisfied me.

It wasn't just a freak of nature or a sudden streak of luck. Not once, but TWICE have I've been lucky to find such a man. My man today is one of them. His generosity and indurance in bed is only ONE of the reasons I love him and desire him so much.

 

[Guest]

You are a very lucky woman Svenskaflicka. I am also lucky like you. My husband is like your man, he is a very special person and very thoughful in all respects of our relationship. (really really great in the bedroom) So we must treasure our great men and hope everyone else is as lucky as us at some point in their life. Good luck to all in finding the happiness you all deserve.

Laine

 

[Laineforfun]

You are a very lucky woman Svenskaflicka. I am also lucky like you. My husband is like your man, he is a very special person and very thoughful in all respects of our relationship. (really really great in the bedroom) So we must treasure our great men and hope everyone else is as lucky as us at some point in their life. Good luck to all in finding the happiness you all deserve.

Laine

Oops forgot to login. Its me

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Originally posted by Laineforfun
So we must treasure our great men and hope everyone else is as lucky as us at some point in their life. Good luck to all in finding the happiness you all deserve.

Laine

...not to mention inspire others so there will be more men like that!

 

[Arden]

...not to mention inspire others so there will be more men like that!

Amen...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

The Man of my Dreams

As I've been telling everyone here on Lit, I'm in the middle of moving to a new apartment, and during my packing, I went through soem old papers and found a list I ade made some years ago about what qualities I wanted the Man of my Dreams to have. Among about 100+ demands, I had listed that he had to like animals, agree with me when it came to religion and politics, like giving oral sex, have a sense of humour, and have a loooooooong you-know-what.

As I went through the list, I realized that my Beloved fulfills each and every demand on that list...

This is it. I've found him. The Man of my Dreams.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thank you Svenskaflicka, Laine and Arden for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

Well, ladies all, your evidence is that the nice guys are out there . . . so why do so many women accept relationships which are not what they want??

Why do people stay in relationships that are obviously hurting them and others, relationships where satisfaction IS NOT found?

Thank you for sharing, the search goes on,

Don

 

[psyche]

Re: I know they are out there...

Each time you meet a loser who orders (!) you to suck his cock and swallow his sperm, while he himself wont touch your pussy, remember this story and don't lose hope.

Not once, but TWICE have I met a man that not only actually enjoyed giving me oral sex, but who actually liked it so much that he didn't want to fuck with me - he just carefully held me down and continued to lick me and tease me and make me cum ove5r and over and over and over again, just so he could enjoy making me feel like I was in heaven. After about one hour, I begged him to stop, as I was so exhausted that I was feeling dizzy, and my poor clit was getting sore. Afterwards, he didn't want me to suck him or fondle him or anything, which made me both surprised and a little disappointed, but he just hugged me and said that for now, he was just satisfied cuddling with me, knowing that he had truly, TRULY satisfied me.

It wasn't just a freak of nature or a sudden streak of luck. Not once, but TWICE have I've been lucky to find such a man. My man today is one of them. His generosity and indurance in bed is only ONE of the reasons I love him and desire him so much.

This is an example of how we are all individuals. If a man went down on me for hours I would like that, but he would have to tie me down first!! And if I didn't get a good fucking after I would not be satisfied. To me it is an act of getting ready for sex, and it would be pure torture to go through that and not be fucked after. That is when I would get my toys out and do it myself!!

And I have to also say that if you find a lover who knows about the g-spot, it would be very hard to go back to someone who doesn't know about it. It is an experience that brings you to a whole new level of sexual response, to the point that I would even call it a different level of consciousness. I have always been orgasmic but the g-spot orgasm is a the best sexual experience that I have ever had.

 

[Arden]

Re: Re: I know they are out there...

Well, ladies all, your evidence is that the nice guys are out there . . . so why do so many women accept relationships which are not what they want??

I think you get into the psychological aspects of relationships, maturity, experience, etc. Self-image also plays an important role.

The typical abusive male uses methods of control to make his woman feel inadequate, in all areas of her life, and slowly she sinks into a depressive/dependence state where she believes no one else would love her except the abuser. I've had two friends over the years that kept going back to abusive men despite stays in womens shelters. The psychological impact on their lives is extreme, and is difficult to walk away from without years of therapy. One of these two finally got out of her abusive relationship and leads a normal life today.

Other women might stay in a marriage because of children. (Guilty as charged, officer) I stayed until my daughter was almost 4, then ended it. Finances can come into play. At that time, I couldn't have paid rent, childcare, and necessities for the two of us and my son. We don't have free childcare in the States.

With time and maturity, a woman can become stronger, whatever her situation might be. As far as leaving a less than satisying relationship, however, she must first be:
1) capable of seeing that a problem exists, and then
2) take the initiative to leave because she knows her life is too precious to waste on a person that doesn't satisfy all of her needs.

These are just two of a multitude of scenarios why women hesitate to leave bad or unsatisfying relationships...

I think the most important thing we can do as mothers is raise our daughters to evolve into strong, independent thinkers capable of making wise decisions, get their education, have a career in place, and be happy with who they are themselves before getting too seriously involved in a relationship.

 

[psyche]

Re: Re: Re: I know they are out there...

You're right... we all are individuals, having our own wants and needs. But I have to wonder if you might be missing an identical twin somewhere - me. I share your thoughts almost too closely

Well, ladies all, your evidence is that the nice guys are out there . . . so why do so many women accept relationships which are not what they want??

I think you get into the psychological aspects of relationships, maturity, experience, etc. Self-image also plays an important role.

The typical abusive male uses methods of control to make his woman feel inadequate, in all areas of her life, and slowly she sinks into a depressive/dependence state where she believes no one else would love her except the abuser. I've had two friends over the years that kept going back to abusive men despite stays in womens shelters. The psychological impact on their lives is extreme, and is difficult to walk away from without years of therapy. One of these two finally got out of her abusive relationship and leads a normal life today.

Other women might stay in a marriage because of children. (Guilty as charged, officer) I stayed until my daughter was almost 4, then ended it. Finances can come into play. At that time, I couldn't have paid rent, childcare, and necessities for the two of us and my son. We don't have free childcare in the States.

With time and maturity, a woman can become stronger, whatever her situation might be. As far as leaving a less than satisying relationship, however, she must first be:
1) capable of seeing that a problem exists, and then
2) take the initiative to leave because she knows her life is too precious to waste on a person that doesn't satisfy all of her needs.

These are just two of a multitude of scenarios why women hesitate to leave bad or unsatisfying relationships...

I think the most important thing we can do as mothers is raise our daughters to evolve into strong, independent thinkers capable of making wise decisions, get their education, have a career in place, and be happy with who they are themselves before getting too seriously involved in a relationship.

Arden, this is scary!! I am going to start thinking of you as my sister, it will be easier that way!

And you are right on target in terms of women staying in abusive relationships. The man starts slowly, putting more and more demands on the woman, each one being acceptable to her because she has a basic belief that he has the right to make those decisions for her. There is a very complicated network of interactions between the abused and the abusive person that is not easily untangled. And they match each other in terms of being very dependent on the relationship on the woman's part and very controlling on the abuser's part along with self-esteem issues for both of them. So when he tells her not to call certain people she obeys because she thinks he has the right to do it, and he believes he has the right to make that demand.

I, on the other hand, would tell him to shove the phone up his ass - which would tend not to perpetuate the relationship!! However, I might end up in the hospital for a few days!!

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thanks Psyche and Arden for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

My, my, Psyche, you have a very lucky man . . . but would you explain to me please, why is the bondage necessary . . . too much concentrated pleasure? I ask because I had a g/f who felt the same way . . . until she tried it without bondage . . . and now she very definitely prefers to be free, unfettered and wildy orgasmic.

And my feedback supports your contention regarding life after Mr Gs technique . . .

I sense a lot of personal experience in your post, Arden. But "abuse" can extend beyond "mere" physical abuse, which is easy to define, and include mental manipulation as well . . . imposing low expectations of life on another who is prepared to reach high and work to achieve it . . . not to mention the many other forms of manipulation.

One of the factors obviously relates to self esteem and self confidence. Research shows that the two willing parties in an abusive relationship remain there often because they do not know any different. The abuser may have had an abusive family role model themselves, and the abusee likewise, only known a role (for women, though sometimes men) for their sex role model of being abused. Again, research suggests that guys marry/partner their mother image, and girls marry/partner their father image.

And yes, "staying for the kids" can be a very strong reason for both men (raises hand) and women, and financial reasons, and everything alse that people use to explain their unfortunate behaviour in these circumstances.

The "Liberation Programme" you suggest would be applicable to all children - teach them to be confident, have self respect, and respect others, and to draw boundaries of acceptable behaviour, then "defend" those boundaries by refusing to accept behaviour which falls outside - almost no matter what the reason.

The most important thing we can do for our children, I think, is to develop their self-esteem by allowing them the space to make decisions, and experience the consequences of those decisions, the thrill of success, and the serious, calm analysis of the alternatives. Only by striving do we grow as a person.

A Headmaster at a local school once described his role as "Make them successful . . . it is the greatest addiction you can have . . . it is better than all the drugs in the world . . . once the kids are hooked on success it will flow into all aspects of their life . . . success in football will show up in Maths, success in Drama will be seen in sports . . . make them successful and you will never have any problem except finding new challenges for them to conquer."

Thank you both for sharing, the search goes on.

Don