Ladies - When is a Woman Satisfied??

[Arden]

Re: Satisfaction

I sense a lot of personal experience in your post, Arden. But "abuse" can extend beyond "mere" physical abuse, which is easy to define, and include mental manipulation as well . . . imposing low expectations of life on another who is prepared to reach high and work to achieve it . . . not to mention the many other forms of manipulation.

In the early '90s, a co-worker of mine came came pounding at my apartment door in the middle of the night. It was winter, and about 32 F. outside. She was dressed in only a long t-shirt, her face freshly battered and bruised about the eyes. Her husband was a very sad man.... I let her call the police, and she and her son stayed with us for about a week. Ultimately, she was the lucky one that got away from her abusive spouse., but she did go back to him for a while first...

 

[Ladybird]

Abuse can be hard to counter, because the victim is afraid of the abuser. In some ways I think it's easier for a person who has been physically abused, because there are obvious tell tale signs.

But if you've been subjected to mental abuse for a number of years, the abuse creeps up on you and you're often not aware of the level of abuse taking place. Add to that the fact that there are no scars or bruises to show, and it can be difficult getting support needed without any tangible evidence.

So obviously women coming from this kind of situation aren't used to being sexually satisfied. That then becomes a problem when she tries to re-start her life at a mature age.

We all know what we want, but not all of us know how to get it.

 

[Laineforfun]

I very much agree with what you have said LadyBird, But I do have to add that I think in most cases of physical abuse there is also mental abuse. You all might disagree but I feel that there must be some sort of mental abuse if there is physical abuse. I cant believe that a physical abuser comes up to there s/o and just atacks them without the yelling, name calling, and degarding comments, thus, making them also a mental abuser. On the other hand I believe that in most cases a mental abuser usually brings there abuse to some sort of physical means too. So I guess what I am saying is they are both very digusting and it is hard for me to say which I feel is worse. I can say that in some point in my life I have felt both types of abuse and I thankfully did not fall into the rutt that so many woman and MAN have. I feel very sorry for all the abused people out there that just can't pull themselves out of it.

Sorry for the rambling. I hope it wasn't to annoying

Laine (very tired)

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction - 150th Post

Thank you Arden, Ladybird, and Laine for dropping by and sharing your wisdom. We have had over 150 posts and over 3,000 lurkers since we started and our investigation has expanded way beyond sexual exhaustion.

I think I agree Laine, that mental and physical abuse can occur together while mental abuse can definitely occur alone. I don't think that there is ever any excuse for physical abuse - EVER!! A boxer friend of mine once said the when you lose your temper, you lose the fight. While he was referring to the ring, the principle remaiins true in any relationship.

I think your friend made an unfortunate choice by going back to the relationship, for whatever reason, Arden, and her final escape was the correct course, for her and her son. Sometimes for men physical abuse is an expression of frustration with their world of career, family and any other factor they count as important, but frustration with one part of life is no justifiable reason for beating up another functioning part of your world - that is totally illogical, and unacceptable behaviour.

And Ladybird, the difficulty is recognising that mental abuse is happening within a relationship, especially when you have never been a knowing subject beforehand. Re-building out of a "failed" relationship can often take a lot of time and adjustment, 12-18 moths being quite common. Fortunately, most people start to move on when they realise that they are looking at no change in their life for almost two years, and then decide to do something about it. There is a grieving process that we all pass through as we work through this process, and we have to do each step in order to get through it. See the work on grieving by Kubler-Ross.

Thank you for sharing, the search goes on

Don

 

[spankableBelle]

i am satisfied in different ways...and my own orgasm might not have anything to do with it...

A good hard fucking will satisfy me. An all night sex fest will satisfy me. A quicky will satisfy me.

Hug me, cuddle me, caress me, kiss me...romance and candles and bubble baths and massages will all satisfy me...

But for me, if you're satisfied...right down to the depths of your soul satisfied, touched in your body and mind satisfied...then i am 100% completely and totally satisfied...purring like a kitten...

belle

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thanks Belle for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

Your fresh approach to the question of female satisfaction reiterates the statements of many earlier posts. Satisfaction it seems, depends on many more things than just male sexual performance. Some things like desire are internal, some things like atmosphere are external, and still other things area product of the partners, or an interaction of two or more of the other factors.

You also note the importance of being touched in the mind . . . very important. But could you ladies tell me, is being "touched in the mind" a feature that develops with experience, or, is it someting that exists all the time?

Thank you for sharing, the search goes on

Don

 

[juicylips]

Re: Satisfaction

<snip>

But could you ladies tell me, is being "touched in the mind" a feature that develops with experience, or, is it someting that exists all the time?

Thank you for sharing, the search goes on

Don

Hello, D

I get bored very easily. If you don't "touch my mind" then I'm gone. Yes..I love fucking. But turn me inside out when it's over with too.

JL

 

[spankableBelle]

Re: Satisfaction

Thanks Belle for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

Your fresh approach to the question of female satisfaction reiterates the statements of many earlier posts. Satisfaction it seems, depends on many more things than just male sexual performance. Some things like desire are internal, some things like atmosphere are external, and still other things area product of the partners, or an interaction of two or more of the other factors.

You also note the importance of being touched in the mind . . . very important. But could you ladies tell me, is being "touched in the mind" a feature that develops with experience, or, is it someting that exists all the time?

Thank you for sharing, the search goes on

Don

~smile~ You are quite welcome, Don. It's sometimes lovely to be new someplace, noticed...

Imagination...creativity...openness...i find it immensely important in satisfaction...if it's just a quick fuck to get rocks off...is one really and truly satisfied? Perhaps as per their own definition and with most things like the abstract of being satisfied, it's up to each persons interpretation. There is fucking and orgasm that is satisfying in and of itself. And then there is fucking and orgasm that leaves one still searching...seeking...not quite grasping complete satisfaction...i want to touch the soul of someone...knock them off their axis...and a lot of that comes from the mind...touching someone's imagination...touching someone's limitations and pushing slightly beyond...if i can do that...stimulate more than just Your dick, but of course stimulate to aching need and explosiveness...then i am well and truly satisfied...

i think touching the imagination, the mind...doesn't always come with experience...some have it innately and know how to do so instinctively...for others still, it can be learned and taught...and still others, could care less...

all up to an individuals interpretation...

belle

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thank you Juicylips and Belle for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

From your short reply Juicy (love the av) you seem to imply that
satisfying lovemaking is more than just sexual athletics;
seduction is more than a "Wanna f**k" invitation when your partner is drunk;
satisfaction extends beyond the bedroom.

Would I be correct in assuming that you prefer seduction and lovemaking to be a 24/7 event?

It seems, Belle that you would support such an interpretation also.

But you have introduced another dimension into the discussion, that of wanting to "connect" with your partner. I hadn't considered this aspect of lovemaking before, but yes, it is really important!!

Lovemaking without connection is like . . .
cappuchino without the froth,
scotch on the rocks without the ice,
Maccas without the meat.

The most important thing is missing!! You can still consume "the product" but the best part is missing, and consequently the experience is less satisfying.

Before I get too excited . . . do other ladies believe that "connecting" with their partners is an important part of satisfying lovemaking?

Thank you both for sharing, the search goes on

Don

 

[juicylips]

Re: Satisfaction

Thank you Juicylips and Belle for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

From your short reply Juicy (love the av) you seem to imply that
satisfying lovemaking is more than just sexual athletics;
seduction is more than a "Wanna f**k" invitation when your partner is drunk;
satisfaction extends beyond the bedroom.

Would I be correct in assuming that you prefer seduction and lovemaking to be a 24/7 event?
<snip>
Don

No, I don't neccesarily prefer seduction in the sense most people think. I've had men be lewd & crude and yet, I felt I was being seduced because they could tell at the time that is what I was wanting to have said to me.

I might at the time want to hear "Wanna fuck" or be put against a wall without foreplay. I do tend to prefer aggressive sex.

Maybe what I like is a man who is a sexual equal....a fucking soulmate....a JL twin.

Thanks for letting me post, D.
JL

 

[spankableBelle]

~smile~ You're welcome, Don...

Part of the satisfaction comes from a partner 'knowing' instinctively what does it for another at any given time...it is sometimes very satisfying to have a guy know exactly what kind of sex you like without you having to spell it out, there's just a look that says it all, an ability to read a mood, that 'gut' feeling...that can be had in an instant attraction...or it can take a while to teach and learn which in itself can be satisfying because you know that you're both going to take that extra effort and apply it because it will help to content you...

So, again, i have offered my opinion...

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thank you Juicy and Belle for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

Well . . . I guess I put my foot in it . . . right up to the eyebrows!! Make a "mere male" assumption and . . . bang! . . . down it goes in flames!! One day hopefully, maybe I'll almost understand feminine reactions.

Once again, it depends on the circumstances . . . the people, the place, the situation . . . OK, I am suitably chastised. lol

But seriously Juicy, the "soulmate" experience is just magic to my mind and it is so special when it happens. In fact, I wonder, Belle, if it is part of the instant attraction, the instinctive knowing that you describe.

Thank you for sharing, the search goes on

Don

 

[spankableBelle]

Re: Satisfaction

Thank you Juicy and Belle for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

Well . . . I guess I put my foot in it . . . right up to the eyebrows!! Make a "mere male" assumption and . . . bang! . . . down it goes in flames!! One day hopefully, maybe I'll almost understand feminine reactions.

Once again, it depends on the circumstances . . . the people, the place, the situation . . . OK, I am suitably chastised. lol

But seriously Juicy, the "soulmate" experience is just magic to my mind and it is so special when it happens. In fact, I wonder, Belle, if it is part of the instant attraction, the instinctive knowing that you describe.

Thank you for sharing, the search goes on

Don

Okay, i'm going to attempt to form an answer that makes sense...am quite sick this morning...

Perhaps the instant attaction, that instinctive knowing...perhaps it is soul-deep...a recognition of one soul to another of needs and desires at that moment in time. When you meet someone like that, someone that answers something within you...you feel complete and whole and something restless and wanting is satisfied. There's a lot to discover, but at the same time, you already know so much...how? who knows...but you do...both are laid bare and there is such a sigh of relief, a soul-satisfying sigh of 'yes' this is who and what i need...is it for always? or for only a short time? depends on the depth of need, i think...

i'm seriously hoping this is making sense...if not, forgive me...and i'll try to form a more coherent answer later...

 

[psyche]

Re: Satisfaction

Thanks Psyche and Arden for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

My, my, Psyche, you have a very lucky man . . . but would you explain to me please, why is the bondage necessary . . . too much concentrated pleasure? I ask because I had a g/f who felt the same way . . . until she tried it without bondage . . . and now she very definitely prefers to be free, unfettered and wildy orgasmic.

And my feedback supports your contention regarding life after Mr Gs technique . . .

Don

I like sex without bondage at times because it allows me to use my hands and to interact, but I still love to be tied up. It's just me. I like the sense of not having any control, not being able to do anything about what he is doing to me, I like him deciding when he is finally going to fuck me after making me cum and cum until I want him so bad I could die. I love to strain against the ropes and beg for him to fuck me without being able to do anything about it.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thank you Belle and Psyche for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

A beautiful description, Belle, I understand exactly what you mean.

Ahh Psyche, you are a wonderful, wild, wicked woman . . . As a mere male you have expanded my concepts enormously. heheheh

Thank you both for sharing, the search goes on

Don

 

[Ladybird]

Re: Re: Satisfaction

Perhaps the instant attaction, that instinctive knowing...perhaps it is soul-deep...a recognition of one soul to another of needs and desires at that moment in time. When you meet someone like that, someone that answers something within you...you feel complete and whole and something restless and wanting is satisfied. There's a lot to discover, but at the same time, you already know so much...how?

Belle.. I know exactly what you mean, because something like this happened to me.

I met someone and the moment he put his arms around me, I felt as though I'd come home.. I was just overpowered with a feeling of warmth, love and recognition. It wasn't just me.. he felt the same way.

I spoke of it to a clairvoyant later, and as I was describing how I felt, she smiled with a look of understanding. She explained that he and I were lovers from a past life, and that's why we recognised each other.

Now whether or not you believe in past lives, I have no doubt that our souls have crossed paths before, and thats why we felt as we did.

 

[spankableBelle]

Re: Satisfaction

Thank you Belle and Psyche for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

A beautiful description, Belle, I understand exactly what you mean.

Ahh Psyche, you are a wonderful, wild, wicked woman . . . As a mere male you have expanded my concepts enormously. heheheh

Thank you both for sharing, the search goes on

Don

Most welcome Don...i'm just glad i made sense...

 

[spankableBelle]

Re: Re: Re: Satisfaction

Belle.. I know exactly what you mean, because something like this happened to me.

I met someone and the moment he put his arms around me, I felt as though I'd come home.. I was just overpowered with a feeling of warmth, love and recognition. It wasn't just me.. he felt the same way.

I spoke of it to a clairvoyant later, and as I was describing how I felt, she smiled with a look of understanding. She explained that he and I were lovers from a past life, and that's why we recognised each other.

Now whether or not you believe in past lives, I have no doubt that our souls have crossed paths before, and thats why we felt as we did.

i believe that souls recognize certain mates...i believe there are needs that a soul needs at certain times and only a certain other soul will do...each person believes differently...but what you felt and feel, lady, makes me smile and hope...

belle

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Record?

3255 views of this thread... what's the Lit record for a thread having the most views?

 

[Don K Dyck]

Satisfaction

Thanks Ladybird, Belle and Svenskaflicka for dropping by and sharing your wisdom.

It's "weird" how you sort of "just fit" with some people. You know, you meet them and within seconds you feel that you've known them all your life, and feel as comfortable with them as old slippers before a winter fire. It certainly makes a huge impression when a relationship is then built. So Ladybird, I don't know about past lives . . . the jury is still out on that one, despite some interesting evidence.

And Belle, the soul mates experience - yes, it's very special.

Thank you for the vote of confidence Svenskflicka, and might I say how much we have valued your thoughtful contributions to the discussion. However, we are light years away from any record . . . the Aussies thread is rapidly heading on to 1,000 pages . . . garrulous lot, talk the leg of a table . . . the Literotica Bar thread bounces along erratically (depending on how Dragonette is treating Bill the Barman) and Confessions thread racks up pages a day, and many other fine threads are very, very popular, far exceeding our little discussion here.

Thank you all for sharing, the search goes on

Don

 

[LdyBGemini]

How did I miss this thread?

Since this is personal for each of us I'll share what I feel.

I love to be satisfied in bed...part of that is knowing my partner is satisfied as well...sometimes it can just be holding,kissing cuddling till we both fall asleep and other times it can be very intense sex. I guees it's what you need at the moment. The other part is being satisfied with whom you with on a day to day basis. Since I'm not with anyone special at the moment I miss that part but I'm searching and know that one day I'll have that part to.

In the meantime I get satisfaction where I can find it and hope that I've done my part to do the same for the one I am with.

 

[cycleman]

Great responses ladies.Love reading each one.I can only hope to find a loving woman someday with the same attitude about love and sex as all of you!Thanks

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Satisfaction

Thank you for the vote of confidence Svenskflicka, and might I say how much we have valued your thoughtful contributions to the discussion. However, we are light years away from any record . . . the Aussies thread is rapidly heading on to 1,000 pages . . . garrulous lot, talk the leg of a table . . .

Quote from The Hitch-hiker's Guide To the Galaxy :

"...[he] can talk the legs of a donkey - but only I can persuade it to take a walk afterwards."

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm very proud to announce that I now have almost 300 viewers of MY thread. Weeee!!!

 

[Ladybird]

Great responses ladies.Love reading each one.I can only hope to find a loving woman someday with the same attitude about love and sex as all of you!Thanks

Similarly to you cycleman, I hope to find a loving man someday to share my days and nights with... someone that I can be open and honest with, and who can be as honest with me.

What magic we shall make!