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Laughter is Contagious

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pleaz_me said:
OMG! I don't know what I'd do! Believe me, I've had flops of my own though ;) *Giggles* Now I can't help remembering the rainbow I made from royal icing... darned thing wouldn't stay together... so I super-glued it :eek: I just made sure no one ate that part :D
Click to expand...
ROTFLMAO!
 
Learn something new everday!

Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the
Eyeball to the anus?

It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving
people a Shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe it, try to pull a hair from your butt and see if it
Doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
:D
 
Last edited:
sasebrats said:
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the
Eyeball to the anus?

It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving
people a Shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe it, try to pull a hair from your butt and see if it
Doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
:D
Click to expand...
LOL, good one
 
On this day in 1881, outlaw Billy the Kid was shot and killed. In what might charitably be called a process of extended government decision making, current New Mexico governor Bill Richardson recently appointed a lawyer to represent the Kid and redress may be speeding his way in the form of a gubernatorial pardon.

Billy the kid was born into a New York Irish family around 1860 and probably was named Henry McCarty. He moved west with his family but was orphaned at age 14. He was arrested for stealing clothes from a Chinese laundry, but he escaped by worming his way up the jailhouse chimney. Billy would from that point forward remain a fugitive. In a flight in a lumber camp in 1877, Billy killed his first victim by shooting him after a fist fight.

Billy's murderous career would ultimately also include the killing of two deputies, a sheriff, and two jail guards. Former bartender and then newly elected Sheriff Pat Garrett first captured Billy using the unconventional strategy of shooting Billy's horse and leaning it against the door of the house where Billy was hiding. Billy was apprehended, again escaped from jail, and allegedly was later shot in the heart by Garrett.

Over the next century, several men claimed to be the Kid, implying that Garrett had shot the wrong man. In 2003, Governor Richardson appointed a lawyer to sift through DNA evidence. Governor Richardson said, "I have to decide whether to pardon [Billy]. But not right away --after the investigation, after the state gets more publicity."
 
An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood . They we're celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and decided to walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they 'd shared and where he had carved "I love you, Sally."

On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car and lands practically at their feet. Sally quickly picks it up and decides to take it home until they decide what to do with it. There, she counts the money, and it's fifty thousand dollars.

The husband says, "We've got to give it back."

She says, "finders keepers" and puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men are going door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money and show up at their home. They say, "Pardon me, but did either of you find or know about some money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

She says, "No."

The husband quickly interjects, "She's lying!! She hid it up in the attic."

She says, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

However, the agents sit the man down and begin to question him. "Sir, please tell us the story from the beginning."

The old man says, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."

The FBI agents immediately look at each other and say, "Let's get out of here!!"
 
 
 
 
techsan said:
An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood . They we're celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and decided to walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they 'd shared and where he had carved "I love you, Sally."

On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car and lands practically at their feet. Sally quickly picks it up and decides to take it home until they decide what to do with it. There, she counts the money, and it's fifty thousand dollars.

The husband says, "We've got to give it back."

She says, "finders keepers" and puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men are going door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money and show up at their home. They say, "Pardon me, but did either of you find or know about some money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

She says, "No."

The husband quickly interjects, "She's lying!! She hid it up in the attic."

She says, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

However, the agents sit the man down and begin to question him. "Sir, please tell us the story from the beginning."

The old man says, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."

The FBI agents immediately look at each other and say, "Let's get out of here!!"
Click to expand...
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Good afternoon everyone,

I just wanted to stop in and say that the jokes, stories, and cartoons that are posted do a great deal to brighten the day.
I do not have a funny to add, just a thank-you. :D
 
Cowboy Wisdom

Cowboy Wisdom

There are two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one
works.

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your
mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and
shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your
mouth shut.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop
diggin'.

Never smack a man who's chewin' t'backer.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of
good whiskey.

Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from
bad judgment.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
and then to make sure it's still there.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it
thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin'
it back in.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not
so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know
what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and
put it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 
Moms never happy...

Mother gets the phone call she never thought she'd get from her openly gay son.



"Mom, I've met a wonderful girl. I'm going straight, and we're going to get married."



Mom is overjoyed, but can't really believe things are that good. "I suppose it's too much to ask that she's Jewish?"



Her son says, "Mom, not only is she Jewish, but she happens to be from a very wealthy and prominent Beverly Hills family."



Mom is beside herself with joy and says, "You don't know how happy you've made me. What's her name?"



The son says, "Monica Lewinsky."



Mom is silent for a moment and then says, "What happened to that nice Catholic boy you used to date?"
 
Good afternoon everyone.

Thank you for sharing such marvelous funnies! :D
 
Life In Southern California

- San Diego, CA...

A Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in the state-wide safety competition.

"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," he answered.

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat. "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

This woke up the guy in the back seat who took one look at the cop and moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"

:devil:
 
Holy Arthritis

A drunk, who smelled of beer sat down, on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Tell me, Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replied, "My Son, it is caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and a lack of personal hygiene."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be darned," and returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, put his hand gently on the man's arm and apologized. "I'm sorry...I should not have come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk replied. "I was just reading here that the Pope does".
 
MsBug said:
A drunk, who smelled of beer sat down, on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Tell me, Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replied, "My Son, it is caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and a lack of personal hygiene."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be darned," and returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, put his hand gently on the man's arm and apologized. "I'm sorry...I should not have come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk replied. "I was just reading here that the Pope does".
Click to expand...
LOL!!
 
trent0553 said:
Good afternoon everyone,

I just wanted to stop in and say that the jokes, stories, and cartoons that are posted do a great deal to brighten the day.
I do not have a funny to add, just a thank-you. :D
Click to expand...
Hey, trent, happy to have you drop by and glad you like the funnies. Hope you'll come by often, contribute when you can but let us know what tickles your funny bone.
 
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