smoothdevil
devilishnice
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- Posts
- 14,521
great ... super ... LMAOF
Laughter is Contagious
- Thread starter techsan
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great ... super ... LMAOF
curl4ever
Literotica Guru
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- Apr 21, 2006
- Posts
- 2,017
Very nice pun! (I also like the Moms in Therapy story.) Thanks, d_g_o!
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Absolutely wonderful {{{{{{{DGO}}}}}}} LMAO!
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Grabbed
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was obviously delighted to be pressed tight against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the ground floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to grab!"
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway through the lobby when he choked out, "I didn't touch that woman."
"Of course you didn't," said Mrs. Wilson. "I did!"
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was obviously delighted to be pressed tight against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the ground floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to grab!"
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway through the lobby when he choked out, "I didn't touch that woman."
"Of course you didn't," said Mrs. Wilson. "I did!"
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Yes, they walk among us.
This is kinda scary.....
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being
near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted
to go to Capetown. While I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, she interrupted
me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look
stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts " Without
trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained,
''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in
Africa ''
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and
Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked,
''Is it possible to see England from Canada
?'' I said, ''No.'' She said,
''But they look so close on the map. (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he
could rent a car in Dallas When I pulled up the
reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in
Dallas When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between gates to save
time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit
left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I
explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but
she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought
that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do
airlines put your physical description on your bag so they
know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said,
'No, why do you ask?'
She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and
I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into
it (I was dying laughing), I came back and explained the
city code for Fresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal),
and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info,
she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to
California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who
asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of
these planes have numbers on them.''
1 0. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to
fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of
those little computer planes?'' I asked if she
meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said,
''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
1 1. A senior Senator called and had a question about
the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he
needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to
China many times and never had to have one of
those.'' I double checked and sure enough, his stay
required a visa. When I told him this he said,
''Look, I' ve been to China four times and every
time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make
reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino,
New York.'' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I
said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the
town?'' ''Yes, what flights do you
have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I
came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't
find a Rhino anywhere.' ''The lady retorted,
''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it
is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do
you?'' The reply?
''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
And we wonder why the government is in the shape it's in; that or they need stress management!
This is kinda scary.....
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being
near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted
to go to Capetown. While I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, she interrupted
me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look
stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts " Without
trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained,
''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in
Africa ''
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and
Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked,
''Is it possible to see England from Canada
?'' I said, ''No.'' She said,
''But they look so close on the map. (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he
could rent a car in Dallas When I pulled up the
reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in
Dallas When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between gates to save
time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit
left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I
explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but
she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought
that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do
airlines put your physical description on your bag so they
know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said,
'No, why do you ask?'
She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and
I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into
it (I was dying laughing), I came back and explained the
city code for Fresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal),
and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info,
she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to
California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who
asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of
these planes have numbers on them.''
1 0. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to
fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of
those little computer planes?'' I asked if she
meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said,
''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
1 1. A senior Senator called and had a question about
the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he
needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to
China many times and never had to have one of
those.'' I double checked and sure enough, his stay
required a visa. When I told him this he said,
''Look, I' ve been to China four times and every
time they have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make
reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino,
New York.'' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I
said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the
town?'' ''Yes, what flights do you
have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I
came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't
find a Rhino anywhere.' ''The lady retorted,
''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it
is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do
you?'' The reply?
''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
And we wonder why the government is in the shape it's in; that or they need stress management!
curl4ever
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2006
- Posts
- 2,017
Definitely scary insight into the people we elect to run our government. <sigh>
Very funny though. Thanks, kayte!
alisonwunderlnd
pink cupcake princess
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2006
- Posts
- 23,344
there once was a fellow Mcsweeny
who spilled some gin on his weenie
just to be couth
he added vermouth
and slipped his girlfriend a martini
who spilled some gin on his weenie
just to be couth
he added vermouth
and slipped his girlfriend a martini
curl4ever
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2006
- Posts
- 2,017
Nice!
Thanks, alison!beachbunny01
Virgin
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Posts
- 29
The neighbors who lived next to Dirty Johnny had a new baby. Dirty Johnny's family was invited over a few weeks later to see their new addition. Before they left, Dirty Johnny's father pulled him aside.
"Now Johnny, we're about to go see their new baby. But be warned, he was born with no ears. I don't want to hear A WORD about it. If I hear the word 'ears' come out of your lips, I'll give you the spanking of your life."
Dirty Johnny replied, "Yes Dad."
Once at the neighbor's home, Dirty Johnny walked over to the crib and peered over the edge. The baby's mother walked up as he did.
"So, what do you think Johnny?"
"He's so cute," Dirty Johnny replied.
"Why thank you Johnny."
"Just the sweetest baby I've ever seen."
"Aw, thank you Johnny, you're so nice."
"How's his eyesight?"
"Oh, it's wonderful! The doctor even said that the baby will have 20/20 eyesight when he's older. Why Johnny?"
Dirty Johnny smiled sweetly and looked up at her.
"Because I was gonna say that if he needed glasses, he'd be f**cked."
"Now Johnny, we're about to go see their new baby. But be warned, he was born with no ears. I don't want to hear A WORD about it. If I hear the word 'ears' come out of your lips, I'll give you the spanking of your life."
Dirty Johnny replied, "Yes Dad."
Once at the neighbor's home, Dirty Johnny walked over to the crib and peered over the edge. The baby's mother walked up as he did.
"So, what do you think Johnny?"
"He's so cute," Dirty Johnny replied.
"Why thank you Johnny."
"Just the sweetest baby I've ever seen."
"Aw, thank you Johnny, you're so nice."
"How's his eyesight?"
"Oh, it's wonderful! The doctor even said that the baby will have 20/20 eyesight when he's older. Why Johnny?"
Dirty Johnny smiled sweetly and looked up at her.
"Because I was gonna say that if he needed glasses, he'd be f**cked."
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
beachbunny01
Virgin
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Posts
- 29
Good evening beachbunny ~ That is great!
Hey! And I know! I got it in an e-mail and thought it was hilarious so I shared.
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Hey! And I know! I got it in an e-mail and thought it was hilarious so I shared.
Thank you. I think that is where most of us get what we share here. Welcome to Lit and to the thread. Hope you are having a wonderful time.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
very good
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Happy Hump Day!
Two sex workers are talking.
"How was your last 'john,' Desiree?"
"Okay, but cheap. And yours?"
"One of the best: a big, muscular, handsome marine."
"Oh, yeah? What did he wanna do?"
"First, he asked how much for sex and I told him $100, but he didn't have enough money. Then he asked how much for a BJ and I told him $50, but he didn't have that much either. Then he asked how much for a hand job and I told him $25. He agreed, I reached in, and what a surprise! I put one hand around it, then another hand on top of that hand, and then my first hand on top of that one!"
"Damn, girl, he musta been huge! Then what happened?"
"I loaned him $75!"
Two sex workers are talking.
"How was your last 'john,' Desiree?"
"Okay, but cheap. And yours?"
"One of the best: a big, muscular, handsome marine."
"Oh, yeah? What did he wanna do?"
"First, he asked how much for sex and I told him $100, but he didn't have enough money. Then he asked how much for a BJ and I told him $50, but he didn't have that much either. Then he asked how much for a hand job and I told him $25. He agreed, I reached in, and what a surprise! I put one hand around it, then another hand on top of that hand, and then my first hand on top of that one!"
"Damn, girl, he musta been huge! Then what happened?"
"I loaned him $75!"
curl4ever
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2006
- Posts
- 2,017
smoothdevil
devilishnice
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2004
- Posts
- 14,521
HEADLINES IN THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
limiwa
Something new every day
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2005
- Posts
- 9,851
In South Los Angeles , a 4 plex was destroyed by a fire.
A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire.
An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country from Kenya , lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire.
6 LA, Hispanic, Gang Banger, ex-cons, lived on the 3rd floor and they too, died.
A lone, white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire.
Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA, met with the fire chief, on camera. They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims and Hispanics all died in the fire and only the white couple lived..?
The fire chief said, "They were at work."
A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire.
An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country from Kenya , lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire.
6 LA, Hispanic, Gang Banger, ex-cons, lived on the 3rd floor and they too, died.
A lone, white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire.
Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA, met with the fire chief, on camera. They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims and Hispanics all died in the fire and only the white couple lived..?
The fire chief said, "They were at work."
smoothdevil
devilishnice
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2004
- Posts
- 14,521
greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Those are grand sweetie. TGIF!!!
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
{{{{limi}}}}}} I love it! Thank you hon. Have a fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend.
curl4ever
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2006
- Posts
- 2,017
Far from politically correct, but very funny. Thanks, limiwa!
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
_________________________________
Why Men Should Not Go To WalMart With Their Wives.
(This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.)
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women--she loved to browse. Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Omahaman,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. omahaman2 are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack, then when people browsed by, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
Why Men Should Not Go To WalMart With Their Wives.
(This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.)
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women--she loved to browse. Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Omahaman,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. omahaman2 are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack, then when people browsed by, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
limiwa
Something new every day
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2005
- Posts
- 9,851
I'm proud to say that I've never been known for being politically correct.
thanks for seeing the humor, Curl.
limiwa
Something new every day
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2005
- Posts
- 9,851
keeping up traditions...
LETTER FROM THE BOSS:
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.
But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.
So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them.
I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.
LETTER FROM THE BOSS:
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.
But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.
So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them.
I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.
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