Limits - Hard, Soft, None

[kimuk]

Yes I have limits. But they would be vastly different to what they were 8years ago. Things change. Experiances alter opinions and limits.

 

[SubmissiveMom]

My Limits that I used to list when an active Submissive/Slave were as follows:

No minors, scat, extreme pain, blood and no facial, vaginal or visible bruising x x x Most things experienced in secerecy other than those x x x

 

[tvvictim]

none,i need to be abducted,kept prisoner,tortured to the extreme

 

[Ropebunny]

none,i need to be abducted,kept prisoner,tortured to the extreme

Sadly, the only torture I think you deserve is to be chained to a desk so you can practice your grammar until you are able to write a sentence correctly.

Could get pretty extreme if you’re a slow learner...

 

[Rich2018]

Limits:

Nothing that will harm me that I can't recover from....or recover from fairly quickly

I hate the taste if my own semen (even worse, someone else's)

Minors

Animals

Not attracted to other men at all.

Vomit

Whilst I've done a few things that would get me arrested, I really wouldn't like to spend any jail time

Illegal drugs.

 

[KimGordon67]

I discovered a hidden hard limit in the weekend ... toes/feet on my nipples/tits (and my lady parts, now I think about it). That's not really a bdsm limit ... just something I hate.

 

[elli1point1]

I discovered a hidden hard limit in the weekend ... toes/feet on my nipples/tits (and my lady parts, now I think about it). That's not really a bdsm limit ... just something I hate.

God, yes, I hate feet!
No touching, kissing, licking, smelling. Don't even look at my feet. No, I said don't look! And keep yours away from me.

 

[KimGordon67]

God, yes, I hate feet!
No touching, kissing, licking, smelling. Don't even look at my feet. No, I said don't look! And keep yours away from me.

I actually quite like having my toes sucked (in the bath, so I know they're clean!) ... I just don't want someone else's feet on ME.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I don't have any actual experience, but I think I like feet.

I definitely want mine rubbed and caressed and kissed and licked and sucked on. And I'll rub my feet all over his body if he's okay with that.

And as long as his feet aren't hideous, I think I'd probably want to give as good as I got. Knead my boobs, stroke my pussy, tickle my clit. Feet, yes!

 

[Ropebunny]

God, yes, I hate feet!
No touching, kissing, licking, smelling. Don't even look at my feet. No, I said don't look! And keep yours away from me.

I hate feet too. But that’s why it works perfectly for me for humiliation play. Nothing like having a gross big toe stuck in your cunt to make you feel deliciously small!

As for giving, I quite enjoy that too but mostly from a sensual point of view - skin seems to feel softer when touched with toes...

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I know limits are meant to be helpful things,

but when they're breached, they cause me to need distance,

and that's kind of a pain in the ass.

 

[Farawyn]

I know limits are meant to be helpful things,

but when they're breached, they cause me to need distance,

and that's kind of a pain in the ass.

Someone worth it won’t breach them.
The End.

 

[Darkrhytm]

God, yes, I hate feet!
No touching, kissing, licking, smelling. Don't even look at my feet. No, I said don't look! And keep yours away from me.

That’s interesting. Someone I have been recently involved with has a deep footfetiah. She is constantly telling me how she will make me learn to love her fetish. She loves cum on her feet and to have another woman lick it off.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Last night I was speaking with a man who likes to bite. This has never come up for me before, so I'm giving it some thought. I have a low pain threshold, and a hard enough time liking my body as it is, the thought of someone defacing property like that puts me in a very bad mood.

Funny thing is, I like handprints on my ass.

I used to like hickeys in inconspicuous places, but it's been years, and I don't know anymore.

I think I'd rather be decorated with jewelry or body paint than marked with scratches, bites or bruises, but I'll try to keep an open mind until i have some more in-person experience to go on.

 

[Angedesoleil]

Honey,
Everyone is different certainly, so this may or may not help.
I 100% love bites if done right. I mean walk up and bite my arm with no warning *uncool* but Sir has been into biting me since forever and it is awesome in my book. Usually in the midst of making out/ foreplay when I'm already pretty turned on, so the pain is completely negligible. I love the bruise it leaves *blush* I love when it is hidden where I can see it, but other people can't. I love the feel of him biting my neck but I can't SEE it then. So I vote wrist or boob every time . I always get depressed when the mark heals and is gone. Makes me miss him like crazy.

As for feet, I LOVE giving massages and rubs. They always involve kissing/ licking. I haven't sucked toes, but I do kiss toetips. I haven't had a proper footrub in years.

 

[EmpressJosephine]

Eliminating the "standard" 3 - minors, death, permanent damage - what are your limits?

Those above, of course. My hard limits would also include:

Poop;

Blood beyond what might seep from a scratch;

Anything truly non-consensual;​

I'm sure there are a few others, but they're not coming to mind right now.

 

[Emirus]

1. I'm curious about your limits. Do you have any!?
2. Have you ever told someone you don't?
3. Have your limits changed over time?
4. When you meet someone new, do you negotiate / discuss these limits?

Eliminating the "standard" 3 - minors, death, permanent damage - what are your limits?

1. Of course I have limits. Everyone does. Anyone who says they don’t have limits is either deluding themselves or lying to someone else. You can have self imposed limits such as the amount of pain you find bearable; claustrophobia or other phobias; fear of needles etc. That applies whether you are in a relationship or paying for the service.

If you are paying you can have limits imposed on you because of being in a relationship and your partner sees you naked. Any marks would not be conducive to a happy relationship, unless your partner knows and accepts that you pay simply because they won’t abuse you physically. They may even get a satisfaction from seeing the results of your sessions.

2. Of course not. I’m not stupid!

3. For me personally, yes, as my experiences increase.

4. I have a list of likes, dislikes and limits and inform the lady of them well before the session. I don’t negotiate on them but will listen to suggestions. In a professional meeting the lady will get satisfaction but it will vary from one lady to another. Some see it as an easy way of earning a part or full time living.
At the other end is the lady to whom getting paid is a bonus and not the primary reason for them doing it. As I was once told “you can’t imagine the feeling when you tell someone to do something and no matter how humiliating or degrading they do it immediately and without question.”

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

New hard limit: No sex with exes.

Learned the hard way on that one.

Just trust me. Don't go there. Yw.

 

[formertroll]

New hard limit: No sex with exes.

Learned the hard way on that one.

Just trust me. Don't go there. Yw.

Been there, done that, not worth the t shirt

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Been there, done that, not worth the t shirt

Now you tell me.

 

[PuckIt]

I admit that for me, as "something-other-than-a-submissive," probably 97% of my "hard limits" are something I didn't like the last time I did it and won't consider doing again. And, okay, I've done quite a few things that I didn't particularly get off on because the one submitting to me needed it, or at least thought they did. Blades come to mind.

Puke and shit are a definite hard limit. Can't do it. As a toddler, if I made the mistake of looking in the toilet after I took a dump, I was going to call the dinosaurs. And that hasn't really changed. Love thought it was hilarious that even after over two decades of marriage, I couldn't have the door open to the bathroom whichever of us was using the facilities to void. Not even to pee. Hell, it took a decade for me to be able to relax and take a shit with her in the house. Blood, even menses, is not so big a deal. At least so long as I'm not sticking my face in it. But, puke and shit. Unh-uh. People two blocks down will be vomiting in response to the sounds coming out of me.


Humiliation, degradation, and emotional abuse is a hard, hard limit for me. Either direction. Can't do it. Won't do it. Won't even allow my partner or potential partner to humiliate, degrade, or emotionally abuse themselves. I understand, better than most, that there are some people with this need. I'm just saying that I can't and won't be a party to it. Period. Paragraph.


Risky play... even up to some minor body modification... is a bit of a soft limit. It's not something I desire, but in a few circumstances, I've been known to "unleash the beast." But, only in the instance where it is a hard need on my submissives part and we have an established relationship. If, on the other hand, it's something that comes up on the first date, uh, no. This is me walking away. I include breath play in this as well as blades and electro, anything that has the potential of being damaging if misused.

Cheating... I don't know. For me, it's not necessarily cheating qua cheating, as in having another partner, that is a hard limit so much as lying. Lying, about anything, is a hard limit for me. Period. If you lie to me, then you are effectively saying that you have contempt for my intelligence that I could possibly figure it out.

Love, bless her soul, lived under the Sword of Damocles for twenty years because she had accumulated two strikes. And being American, I'm a firm believer that the third strike means you are fucking out. I'm sure that probably sounds harsh to some people, but it is that much of a hard limit for me. That I would have walked even a week before she passed, even with all of the love and history we shared, if she had lied to me once more. And she knew that and accepted it. And never lied to me again.


Which is not to say there may not have been things she didn't say. What some people refer to as "lies of omission." *shrug* I've never been much of one to worry about secrets so much. But, if your mouth is moving and sound is coming out, it had better be the truth and nothing but the truth.

And, of course, I am not submissive. Not even a little bit. Not even a switch. About the fastest way to get me not to do something is to even hint that I may have to. We made the mistake of trying to tie me down once, just once, early on. I broke the girl's headboard. Um... and... well, let's just say that there is a documented case of me looking down the barrel of a gun and telling the wielder he may as well pull the fucking trigger, 'cause it wasn't going to happen.

This is not to say that I'm not a huge fan of her initiating sex. (Assuming she can find five seconds I'm not already headed that way when she is.) But, I can't recall a single time that any female I was in a relationship with (and a couple I wasn't prior) "made a move" that they didn't then find they had just saddled up a whirlwind.

For reasons that I won't get into in public forum (but have hinted at elsewhere), coming at me with a penis, even a fake phallus, is a good way to lose it. I have actually been a part of group sessions with more males than females, but I made it very clear that if a dick came near my ass, mouth, or hand, I would be keeping it in a jar of formaldehyde. I don't really care if that guy is taking that guy in the ass or mouth. I just can't and won't and see absolutely no need to apologize for letting my history rule me there any more than I expect them to apologize for liking what they like.


Abandonment... Ok, so way, way back when, I was involved with a gal who I still think of as my first fiancee. What we actually were was an on again/off again (mostly off) all but platonic boyfriend and girlfriend (explaining that would take five times as long as what I've written so far). And I did the whole "right here, waiting for you with open arms" routine. For four fucking years! Right up until she got married to someone I hadn't even realized was in the running. My second ex-fiancee broke up with me eight times and convinced me to take her back before I put my foot down and told her the next time, she'd better be sure she meant it. After that, I pretty much went with the three strike rule.

(And, No, Honey. Exes are a hard limit for me. Done is done and will never do again.)


Which, by the way, Love didn't get her two strikes for two lies. One was a lie. One was breaking it off.


Striking me, even open-handed much less with something is an automatic two strikes. A woman, I will walk away from. A man... well, let's just say he'd better be damn sure it's something he's willing to kill or die for, 'cause I will be. (Yes, I'm a chauvinist and won't hit a woman in anger, even to hit her back. Oink. Oink.) I have, and do, make allowances for training in self-defense. (Which has always been mandatory as far as I was concerned if I was going to be sitting around worrying about her.) But, not in anger and not even in play outside of training scenarios will I accept being a punching bag.


And considering I have broken bricks with my hands, feet, and head, if she does want me to strike her for fun, she is just going to have to accept it if I am not willing to strike her as hard as she might wish. I don't do closed fist or kicks at all. And if I'm going to swat her ass, and I determine that what she wants is too hard and would risk damage, then she's just going to have to deal with it or find someone else. NO lasting damage is a hard limit for me.


Consent is... Well, I can, and have, played out a quasi-non-consensual fantasy for her after some very careful contracting. But, I categorically require that informed consent be more than implied. And quite often will call a timeout to re-ascertain if there is any doubt in my mind at all from her non-verbals.


I freely admit that, with very few exceptions, most of these are limits that I have learned with experience. And, yeah, like most I did once upon a time make the "rookie" mistake of saying that I was up for anything and thought I meant it. (I had no idea that bodily waste was a thing at the time or I would have listed that right from the go word. 'Twasn't pretty.)


As far as right up front... Well, no. I mean, it hasn't ever been something that I've brought up while sitting over coffee while trying to figure out if we liked each other more than just some nice scenery at work. Typically, I guess I've pretty well addressed it when it came up. I don't know. I mean, I'm willing to allow that I may have some Dominant tendencies, but I still stand by my assertion that there is very little beyond... well, vanilla I suppose that I actively require. Unless maybe it's her allowing me to hold not only the keys to her body and heart, but to her soul.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

It had never come up for me before. Ever. Not in RL, not online.

I was hurting, he was a safe place. It was comforting, healing.

Went all to shit pretty fast after that.

Lesson learned.

 

[Farawyn]

It had never come up for me before. Ever. Not in RL, not online.

I was hurting, he was a safe place. It was comforting, healing.

Went all to shit pretty fast after that.

Lesson learned.

I’m sorry he wasn’t. A safe place.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

P.s. Hi, Puck.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I’m sorry he wasn’t. A safe place.

He didn't mean any harm. I know he didn't. He's a good guy.

I wish that was enough to keep it from hurting.