SunnyDays1
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Lit🌎World ©️ sunny 🌞 days 1 thread her thread
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered. "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good!
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart!
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered. "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good!
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart!
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
SunnyDays1
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Three woman are talking about having sex...
First woman says “My husband licked my pussy for the first time it months last night, it made my whole night.”
Second woman says “Oh my husband and I had our first 69 yesterday morning, it made my whole day.”
The third woman says “Well you’re lucky, me and my husband tried anal last night and it made my hole weak.”
First woman says “My husband licked my pussy for the first time it months last night, it made my whole night.”
Second woman says “Oh my husband and I had our first 69 yesterday morning, it made my whole day.”
The third woman says “Well you’re lucky, me and my husband tried anal last night and it made my hole weak.”
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A young woman seduces and marries a 90 year old rich man in hopes of quickly inheriting his wealth...
She’s convinced he won’t even survive their wedding night so she takes care to find the sexiest negligee and high heels certain to give him a heart attack on sight. That night after the wedding she finishes getting ready in the bathroom and she seductively saunters out to the bedroom expecting to make him speechless.
She’s startled to discover him standing there waiting for her wearing nothing but a condom, a nose plug, and ear plugs. Confused and bewildered she asks, “what is this!?”
He replies, “Honey, if it’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s the sound of a screaming woman, and the smell of burning rubber!”
She’s convinced he won’t even survive their wedding night so she takes care to find the sexiest negligee and high heels certain to give him a heart attack on sight. That night after the wedding she finishes getting ready in the bathroom and she seductively saunters out to the bedroom expecting to make him speechless.
She’s startled to discover him standing there waiting for her wearing nothing but a condom, a nose plug, and ear plugs. Confused and bewildered she asks, “what is this!?”
He replies, “Honey, if it’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s the sound of a screaming woman, and the smell of burning rubber!”
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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This woman goes to her doctor complaining about her husbands anger, as he seems to just flip out on her and lose his temper constantly...
...the doctor makes a suggestion, "Ok, here's what I want you to do, anytime that you feel like your husband is about to get flip out, I want you to go the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of water, and then take a swig and keep swilling it around your mouth until he calms down"...
The woman, puzzled, but in agreement says "I'll give it a try, thank you doctor"
2 weeks pass by and she goes back to her doctor and says "that suggestion of yours worked like a charm doctor, anytime my husband became angry, I just swilled the water around my mouth like you said and he calmed down, how in the world does a glass of water do that?"
And the doctor replies "the water itself doesn't do anything, I think you'll find that it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick!"
...the doctor makes a suggestion, "Ok, here's what I want you to do, anytime that you feel like your husband is about to get flip out, I want you to go the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of water, and then take a swig and keep swilling it around your mouth until he calms down"...
The woman, puzzled, but in agreement says "I'll give it a try, thank you doctor"
2 weeks pass by and she goes back to her doctor and says "that suggestion of yours worked like a charm doctor, anytime my husband became angry, I just swilled the water around my mouth like you said and he calmed down, how in the world does a glass of water do that?"
And the doctor replies "the water itself doesn't do anything, I think you'll find that it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick!"
SunnyDays1
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A man and a woman are just a few days from getting married.
Naturally, the man’s a bit frisky, but the woman wants to wait until their wedding night.
“Come on!” Says the man over and over, but the woman refuses.
So two nights before the wedding, the man says, “Alright, how about I just stick the tip in? It doesn’t really count. Plus you get an idea of what you’re working with! I promise, that’s all I’ll do!”
Tired of fending him off, the woman reluctantly agrees.
So the time comes for the moment of truth and the man just can’t help himself so he goes all in!
The woman gasps and says, “Screw it, babe! Stick the whole thing in!”
He responds, “Oh no, honey, a promise is a promise!”
Naturally, the man’s a bit frisky, but the woman wants to wait until their wedding night.
“Come on!” Says the man over and over, but the woman refuses.
So two nights before the wedding, the man says, “Alright, how about I just stick the tip in? It doesn’t really count. Plus you get an idea of what you’re working with! I promise, that’s all I’ll do!”
Tired of fending him off, the woman reluctantly agrees.
So the time comes for the moment of truth and the man just can’t help himself so he goes all in!
The woman gasps and says, “Screw it, babe! Stick the whole thing in!”
He responds, “Oh no, honey, a promise is a promise!”
SunnyDays1
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A woman runs into the clubhouse on a golf course, breathless.
“Help... I’ve been stung by a bee...” she gasps.
“Where did this happen?” asks the pro drinking at the bar.
“Between the first and second holes,” she replies.
“Clearly madam, your stance is too wide.”
“Help... I’ve been stung by a bee...” she gasps.
“Where did this happen?” asks the pro drinking at the bar.
“Between the first and second holes,” she replies.
“Clearly madam, your stance is too wide.”
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows.”
“We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
"I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was the golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it, stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my mistake.”
“What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!”
“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows.”
“We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
"I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was the golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it, stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my mistake.”
“What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!”
SunnyDays1
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A boyfriend is ending it up with his girlfriend on the phone......
Him: Babe, I'm breaking off with you. Your father threatened me yesterday.
Her: oh no! What did he say to you?
Him: he said "If you see my daughter ever again, I'll get a 12 inch iron rod and heat up half of it red hot and put the cold half up your ass"
Her: why the cold half??
Him: so I won't be able to take it out!!
Him: Babe, I'm breaking off with you. Your father threatened me yesterday.
Her: oh no! What did he say to you?
Him: he said "If you see my daughter ever again, I'll get a 12 inch iron rod and heat up half of it red hot and put the cold half up your ass"
Her: why the cold half??
Him: so I won't be able to take it out!!
SunnyDays1
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Earl was an airplane pilot with many years of experience.
Now Earl always had a dream: to try to do a loop-de-loop with a Boeing 747.
So on his last flight before his retirement, he told the passengers
"Hello, this is your captain Earl speaking. For many years, I wanted to try to do a loop-de-loop with a plane, and today is my last flight before retirement, so I wanted to ask you if I could try it now."
Now many of the passengers knew Earl as a charming and very skilled pilot, so everyone decides to let Earl try his loop-de-loop. "Do a loop Earl! Do a loop Earl!"
And Earl nails a perfect loop-de-loop. Everyone starts clapping and chants. "Bravo Earl! Bravo Earl!"
And as the clapping faded, a voice yelled out from the bathroom. "Fuck you Earl!"
Now Earl always had a dream: to try to do a loop-de-loop with a Boeing 747.
So on his last flight before his retirement, he told the passengers
"Hello, this is your captain Earl speaking. For many years, I wanted to try to do a loop-de-loop with a plane, and today is my last flight before retirement, so I wanted to ask you if I could try it now."
Now many of the passengers knew Earl as a charming and very skilled pilot, so everyone decides to let Earl try his loop-de-loop. "Do a loop Earl! Do a loop Earl!"
And Earl nails a perfect loop-de-loop. Everyone starts clapping and chants. "Bravo Earl! Bravo Earl!"
And as the clapping faded, a voice yelled out from the bathroom. "Fuck you Earl!"
SunnyDays1
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