SunnyDays1
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Lit🌎World ©️ sunny 🌞 days 1 thread her thread
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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The lion is celebrating a party. All animals are invited, only the hamster is not.
The hamster does not want to miss the party and asks the rabbit: "Hey, rabbit, can´t you smuggle me in behind your big ears to the lion's party?" The rabbit´answers, "Nope, I'm not tired of life, if the lion noticed that, it would be my end."
The hamster then asks the fox: "Listen, fox, can´t you smuggle me in your bushy tail to the lion's party?" The Fox: "Are you crazy, if the lion gets it right, then i´ll be dead."
Finally, the hamster asks the bear and he says, "No problem, I can smuggle you in my breast pocket."
When the bear visits the party in the evening, the lion asks him: "I've heard that the hamster wants to be smuggled in to my party, you probably will not support him, will you?"
The bear: "No, of course not!" The lion then says, "Then you certainly don´t mind emptying your breast pocket."
The bear answers: "Sure, no problem, here's my purse, here's my bowl, here's my ID." Suddenly the bear hits the chest with full force. "And here's a picture of the hamster."
The hamster does not want to miss the party and asks the rabbit: "Hey, rabbit, can´t you smuggle me in behind your big ears to the lion's party?" The rabbit´answers, "Nope, I'm not tired of life, if the lion noticed that, it would be my end."
The hamster then asks the fox: "Listen, fox, can´t you smuggle me in your bushy tail to the lion's party?" The Fox: "Are you crazy, if the lion gets it right, then i´ll be dead."
Finally, the hamster asks the bear and he says, "No problem, I can smuggle you in my breast pocket."
When the bear visits the party in the evening, the lion asks him: "I've heard that the hamster wants to be smuggled in to my party, you probably will not support him, will you?"
The bear: "No, of course not!" The lion then says, "Then you certainly don´t mind emptying your breast pocket."
The bear answers: "Sure, no problem, here's my purse, here's my bowl, here's my ID." Suddenly the bear hits the chest with full force. "And here's a picture of the hamster."
SunnyDays1
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A boy was having sex with a girl on a railway track.
The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it..
He applies brakes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple.
Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants...
The driver shouts out to the boy "Do you realize that if I had not seen you, this would have been your last fuck..!!!"
Boy goes...''Listen dude, you were coming.... she was coming..... and I was coming..... and then I realised .....only you have brakes."
The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it..
He applies brakes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple.
Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants...
The driver shouts out to the boy "Do you realize that if I had not seen you, this would have been your last fuck..!!!"
Boy goes...''Listen dude, you were coming.... she was coming..... and I was coming..... and then I realised .....only you have brakes."
SunnyDays1
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Little John and Tim were playing in the yard, when they accidentally sent the ball to the neighbor's yard. Tim went there to fetch it, but after a while, he came running with eyes closed tightly.
John: "Hey, what happened?"
Tim: "Mrs. Richards is sunbathing there, naked."
John: "Yah,so?"
Tim: "Mom said if I look at a naked woman, my body will turn into stone. I could feel that starting to happen"
John: "Hey, what happened?"
Tim: "Mrs. Richards is sunbathing there, naked."
John: "Yah,so?"
Tim: "Mom said if I look at a naked woman, my body will turn into stone. I could feel that starting to happen"
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the coroner.
“Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”
The inspector then asks, “What about the third body?”
“Ah,” says the coroner, “This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”
“Why is he smiling then?” asks the inspector.
“He thought he was having his picture taken.”
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the coroner.
“Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”
The inspector then asks, “What about the third body?”
“Ah,” says the coroner, “This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”
“Why is he smiling then?” asks the inspector.
“He thought he was having his picture taken.”
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears.
"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard.
"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.
"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"
They rub it, and a genie appears.
"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard.
"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.
"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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After boasting to her mother about how great she is at doing head stands, Susan was advised not to practice it in her new school since her underwear is usually exposed.
Susan was proud at her achievement after her first day and was eager to tell Mum about the great audience of boys she attracted at school when showing off her skills.
Mother reminded her about exposing her panties of which Susan replied, "No Mum they were not seeing my panties."
"How come sweetie?", said Mum.
"Because I took them off Mum." she replied.
Susan was proud at her achievement after her first day and was eager to tell Mum about the great audience of boys she attracted at school when showing off her skills.
Mother reminded her about exposing her panties of which Susan replied, "No Mum they were not seeing my panties."
"How come sweetie?", said Mum.
"Because I took them off Mum." she replied.
SunnyDays1
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A man quits his tech career to pursue a life of pastry creation. After careful consideration, he picks the location, sources his ingredients, and crafts the recipes.
Everything seems in order, except for one strange fact: all his employees are hookers.
This raises more than one eyebrow, and the bakery has a rough opening. Once the neighbors gave it a try though, it is a huge hit, and word quickly spreads. His business prospers wildly and he wins best new business of the year.
The local newspaper comes to interview him. "What's your secret?!" the journalist asks.
"Simple," says the man. "Everything is ho-made."
Everything seems in order, except for one strange fact: all his employees are hookers.
This raises more than one eyebrow, and the bakery has a rough opening. Once the neighbors gave it a try though, it is a huge hit, and word quickly spreads. His business prospers wildly and he wins best new business of the year.
The local newspaper comes to interview him. "What's your secret?!" the journalist asks.
"Simple," says the man. "Everything is ho-made."
SunnyDays1
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A man goes to the psychiatrists wearing nothing but a layer of saran wrap.
When the man asked the Doctor to give him a diagnosis, the Doctor replied: "Well, clearly I can see your nuts."
When the man asked the Doctor to give him a diagnosis, the Doctor replied: "Well, clearly I can see your nuts."
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 soldiers guarding a bench. He went over and asked them why do they do it.
"We don't know. The last commander told us to do so, and so we did. It is some sort of regimental tradition!"
The new camp commander searched for the last commander's phone number and called him to ask him why he wants guards in this particular bench.
"I don't know. The previous commander had guards, and I kept the tradition."
Going back another 3 commanders, he found a now 100 year old retired General.
"Excuse me Sir, I'm now the CO of the camp you commanded 60 years ago. I've found 2 men assigned to guard a bench. Could you please tell me more about the bench?"
The retired General said, " What!? The paint is still wet?"
"We don't know. The last commander told us to do so, and so we did. It is some sort of regimental tradition!"
The new camp commander searched for the last commander's phone number and called him to ask him why he wants guards in this particular bench.
"I don't know. The previous commander had guards, and I kept the tradition."
Going back another 3 commanders, he found a now 100 year old retired General.
"Excuse me Sir, I'm now the CO of the camp you commanded 60 years ago. I've found 2 men assigned to guard a bench. Could you please tell me more about the bench?"
The retired General said, " What!? The paint is still wet?"
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table but the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man: "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
Man replied: "Naah.. She just arrived in the restaurant..!"
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table but the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man: "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
Man replied: "Naah.. She just arrived in the restaurant..!"
Last edited:
SunnyDays1
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A man decides to go to a bar where he sees a blonde woman.
Conversation begins and the two hit it off. The blonde eventually asks the man when his birthday is.
“March 1st,” the man replies. Suddenly, the blonde gets up and stomps around the bar before coming back to her seat.
“So when is your birthday?” the woman again asks.
Not being too phased by this odd behavior, the man again answers “March 1st.” Again, the blonde woman stomps around the bar, this time louder and longer.
When back at her seat, she angrily demands, “Are you going to tell me your birthday, or are you just going to keep telling me to march around the damn bar again?”
Conversation begins and the two hit it off. The blonde eventually asks the man when his birthday is.
“March 1st,” the man replies. Suddenly, the blonde gets up and stomps around the bar before coming back to her seat.
“So when is your birthday?” the woman again asks.
Not being too phased by this odd behavior, the man again answers “March 1st.” Again, the blonde woman stomps around the bar, this time louder and longer.
When back at her seat, she angrily demands, “Are you going to tell me your birthday, or are you just going to keep telling me to march around the damn bar again?”
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