SweetWitch
Green Goddess
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2005
- Posts
- 20,370
That remains to be seen. He'll have to prove it before I believe it...tickledkitty said:Well, I don't know, Molly. Let's not be too hasty. He has the "deft hand" and all.
Literotica's All-time Best "Worst Public Feedback" List
- Thread starter MarshAlien
- Start date
M
MzDeviancy
Guest
Alright, because I have so enjoyed this thread (and also because I have no life - sobriety and celibacy will do that to you), I've gone through this whole thread and compiled a list of winners (decided by me) based on a list of nominees (nominated by...me!). There were really too many good prizes to narrow it down to just one winner, so I made categories! The winners are as follows:
Most Creative Burn
The nominees:
MarshAlien for “Sorry Mate.
02/19/07 By: Anonymous in USA
You had a great story line with fantastic potential and you let it trickle right through your fingers. Sure wish it could be rewritten by Scorpio44, chiefX39, Rob in AZ, metacarpal or walterio. I guess the hard stuff just isn't in you and it's a bit of a shame since what you have done shows a helluva lot of talent. (score of 00)”
I enjoyed the creativity shown in the listing of all the authors the troll felt could have done the story better
Jomar for “Garbage
12/21/06 By: Anonymous in URC
Love?? You have to be a butt pirate, a goober gobbler, I bet you'd eat a turd after writing SHIT like this”
Truly creative lingo. An entertaining read!
SlycWillie for “wha tha puck???
09/07/07 By: Anonymous in North Boston, Go Sox!
Ooooo, this sucked, slyco! Those pedo urges of yours bled through the lines like a hooker's nose on cheap blow.”
Artfully worded. Extra points awarded for the troll reading through three stories by the author and insulting each of them. Outstanding work!
WanderWonder for: “Better that fucking penguins, I suppose.
09/21/07 By: Anonymous in Formerly South Georgia Is.
.....but still a story about queers pushing shit uphill.”
Assuming by 'that' he meant 'than', one has to give him credit for the comparison. Wouldn't occur to most...
The winner: *drumroll*...Jomar! Tough call, but 'goober gobbler' did it for me.
Longest/Most Verbose Troll
The nominees:
lindiana for: "see your Incest category story “The Professor’s Daughter” posted yesterday has exactly one (1) public comment. After reading it, I can see why. You might want to peruse Scouries’ masterpieces to get a glimmer of what the Literotica readership wants in terms of an erotically entertaining Incest category story..."
The post goes on (and on...) to bash other Lit. authors and suggest the many ways in which lindi could learn from scouries. One guess who the troll is, quick!
scouries for: “The Beeg Deecked Hero Rides Again (& again & ...)
09/19/06 by
You only needed 9" to make your story interesting instead of the usual foot long hot-dog..."
One has to appreciate the sheer length of the post - this troll wasn't satisfied with a mere 'Your characters were flat', but practically wrote an essay listing the many reasons each and every character sucked. Now this is a troll who takes pride in his work!'
SweetWitch for: “Sorry nothing to reccomend this story
09/02/06 By: XXXXXXXX
Worst run-on sentence to begin a story:
"Maryanne Sutton Myers, former Miss Pittsfield of 1989, former Prom Queen of the 1990 Pittsfield High School graduating class, junior class president in 1989, captain of the cheerleading squad 2 years running and girl voted Most Likely to Succeed sat in an old chair staring at her sleeping husband."..."
Nominated not only for length, but for the comedic value of the troll asking if the husband 'has an entertaining way of sleeping'. Also for the 'You can do better than this, I hope,' tacked on at the end. Great stuff ;op
And the winner is...lindiana (or scouries, depending on how you wanna look at it ;op)
Most Confusing Troll
The nominees:
BlackShanglan for: “Ah ha!
07/21/07 By: Anonymous in frankfurt
What a piece of mud! Your pseudo psychology is quirksome. Please continue with this series, I like it for all the right reasons.”
Confusing with both the insult and then the abrupt turnaround with the request for a sequel. A troll of many layers indeed. An onion of a troll.
lindiana for: "An idea for a story…
09/06/05 By: KOLKORE in USA
Ok lindiana, I confess, you have succeeded to confuse me. In this stylized riddle tale, the repeated question is the key to the story, so you can not get away without giving us the key, right? So where is it??..."
You've succeeded in confusing us as well...
SweetWitch for: “Conversely - You Amplify Our Feelings When
10/08/06 By: Anonymous in USA
the slack but talented wordmeister is brought to bear responsibility for her careless words of selfish demeanment of humans far and near for her own private self important churlish needs..."
Will comment on this when I find my dictionary.
SweetWitch for: "oh you so sickeneng sweet. who make you queen for these days why you so selly maybe another funny phoorey contests. you mouth like butters slip sliding.”
???
Daniellekitten for: "you is out so tired of yo' self hype what you act like make more anonymous enters you phony girl”
Appears to be either the same person or at the very least a first cousin of SweetWitch's troll...
I'm just gonna go with SweetWitch for the winner since all these trolls confuse the hell out of me, but she has two.
Meanest/Most Hateful Troll
The nominees:
scouries for: “You should be ashamed for having the nerve
09/16/07 by Anonymous
to publish shit like this.a story that should have never been told. "I saw the damn pictures of you with that blond puta. Now leave me alone." I still had no idea what in the hell she was talking about, but wound up chalking it up to something that I figured I would never really know. If this isn't mantal retardation I don't know what it is. You had a stroy to tell and you did so even though you had to use the main characters to "set " it up. They were simply bad actors acting out a nothing script. If this was real life it waould have read like the mentaly disabled meets the mentally challenged. Your writing is ok but your premise for a story sucks. How about Ramon. Maria basically cheated with him. The husband had done nothing wrong except that he didn't have the mental capacity to act like a real man. Maria had sex with Ramon with her kids in the same house and the retardee marries her again...who the hell reads shit like this. Go away and try to make a real story instead of some kind of crap”
Ouch.
scouries for: “Hey Scouries, you writing your own comments again, the previous two look like they were written by the same person, you!
You really are a pathetic little man. Oh, your story, I gave it a 2. That's about all it was worth.”
That is one pissed off troll...
SweetWitch for: "no filthy animal
just another idiot stupid whore, sick minded and good only for to shit into
Go KILL YOURSELF YOU UGLY OLD CUNT”
Correction, THAT is one pissed off troll!
Bonfils for: “Again you posted, again i say to you the same...youre sick, you need medical help, i feel sorry when i see an old impotent man in such pain...i dont know, maybe you choose to kill yourself, it will be the beat for all”
Wow, trolls these days seem to be really loosey-goosey about encouraging folks to kill themselves...
Alex De Kok for: “'jesus christ! this is the most convoluted piece of dog shit I've ever tried to wade through. mickey spillane you ain't. come to think of it a couple of monkeys and a typewriter and we'd have something better than this. what a complete and total waste of time.'”
Well...at least he refrained from recommending suicide.
Elfin Odalisque for: “RAAAAR!
07/31/06 By: Anonymous
The italicized text in the beginning made no sense and neither did the vast majority of what I read, which wasn't much considering I wanted to bash my brains in from the moment the torture began.”
Backclicking was too much effort to end the 'torture' eh?
And the winner...yeah, clearly SweetWitch since no other troll has captured quite that magnitude of virulent antipathy.
Closest to a Compliment
The nominees:
BlackShanglan for: “ummm
04/18/06 By: Anonymous
This is either brilliant or crap but I can't tell. All I know is that it doesn't make a tiny bit of sense to me.”
Well, she was open to the possibility that it was brilliant!
Recidiva for: “blah is a compliment
the characters and story are weak. No doubt many at Lit will enjoy it.”
Many will enjoy it!
SlycWillie for: “good
12/09/06 By: Anonymous in India
i thought it was a really good story
but as an indian i found it really racist and you sounded like borat”
Borat made a shitload of cash at the box office, so maybe you're on the right track.
SlycWillie for: “guess what?
08/17/07 By: Anonymous
Yeah, o.k., me and Mr. T both enjoyed this one. Givin' up credit where it's due - the writing was good. Not a shit's worth of originality, but *sigh* hot.”
Not a shit's worth of originality, but Mr.T as well as the troll enjoyed it! That's good troll feedback right there!
SlycWillie for: “Latin-my-ass
08/24/07 By: Anonymous in North Boston, east coast style
Slyco, slyco, slyco...The portrait is painted, but the angle's all wrong. Mr. T got all pumped up and is now limping away unsastisfied. Fuuuuuuck”
And yet he and Mr.T both came back for the third installment...Go figure.
Daniellekitten for: “---
09/29/07 by Anonymous
Be nice if you could even keep the typeface consistent. From your earlier superb work like 'Enless' and stuff with storms, tou seem to have morphed into a sausage factory, just turning out uninteresting and unbelievable daily chapters. It's getting like lunchtime soaps, pap to fill a gap. You can write so much better, I know. Give us some good writing.”
On the one hand, the troll believes in you. On the other, sausage factory...
Darkniciad for: "I am going to resist my standard practice of bottom scoring all the stories with the tenny wenny penie that also compares the massive hugh dark monstrer handing from your godlike black body. NO changed my mind bottom score for you and the Jena 6.”
He almost resisted...
The winner: SlycWillie! Despite the troll's negative language, he and Mr.T just couldn't stay away, so he's complimenting Willie whether he wants to or not.
Most Succinct Bashing of a Story
The nominees:
scouries for: “Oh…Sarahhh
Not loving wives thats for sure
11/07/06 By: Anonymous
I guess Loving wives is not your catagory!!!!!!!!!!!!”
SweetWitch for: “Too
10/13/06 By: Anonymous
sappy.”
Darkniciad for: “didn't like the TV show
11/13/06 By: Anonymous
like this even less”
sr71plt for: “Please stop writing
10/16/06 by Anonymous in Oz
Please stop writing. The world thanks you!”
And the winner: sr71plt for “09/07/07Anonymous
(blank),” with a zero rating.
Ladies and gentlemen, your champions!
Most Creative Burn
The nominees:
MarshAlien for “Sorry Mate.
02/19/07 By: Anonymous in USA
You had a great story line with fantastic potential and you let it trickle right through your fingers. Sure wish it could be rewritten by Scorpio44, chiefX39, Rob in AZ, metacarpal or walterio. I guess the hard stuff just isn't in you and it's a bit of a shame since what you have done shows a helluva lot of talent. (score of 00)”
I enjoyed the creativity shown in the listing of all the authors the troll felt could have done the story better
Jomar for “Garbage
12/21/06 By: Anonymous in URC
Love?? You have to be a butt pirate, a goober gobbler, I bet you'd eat a turd after writing SHIT like this”
Truly creative lingo. An entertaining read!
SlycWillie for “wha tha puck???
09/07/07 By: Anonymous in North Boston, Go Sox!
Ooooo, this sucked, slyco! Those pedo urges of yours bled through the lines like a hooker's nose on cheap blow.”
Artfully worded. Extra points awarded for the troll reading through three stories by the author and insulting each of them. Outstanding work!
WanderWonder for: “Better that fucking penguins, I suppose.
09/21/07 By: Anonymous in Formerly South Georgia Is.
.....but still a story about queers pushing shit uphill.”
Assuming by 'that' he meant 'than', one has to give him credit for the comparison. Wouldn't occur to most...
The winner: *drumroll*...Jomar! Tough call, but 'goober gobbler' did it for me.
Longest/Most Verbose Troll
The nominees:
lindiana for: "see your Incest category story “The Professor’s Daughter” posted yesterday has exactly one (1) public comment. After reading it, I can see why. You might want to peruse Scouries’ masterpieces to get a glimmer of what the Literotica readership wants in terms of an erotically entertaining Incest category story..."
The post goes on (and on...) to bash other Lit. authors and suggest the many ways in which lindi could learn from scouries. One guess who the troll is, quick!
scouries for: “The Beeg Deecked Hero Rides Again (& again & ...)
09/19/06 by
You only needed 9" to make your story interesting instead of the usual foot long hot-dog..."
One has to appreciate the sheer length of the post - this troll wasn't satisfied with a mere 'Your characters were flat', but practically wrote an essay listing the many reasons each and every character sucked. Now this is a troll who takes pride in his work!'
SweetWitch for: “Sorry nothing to reccomend this story
09/02/06 By: XXXXXXXX
Worst run-on sentence to begin a story:
"Maryanne Sutton Myers, former Miss Pittsfield of 1989, former Prom Queen of the 1990 Pittsfield High School graduating class, junior class president in 1989, captain of the cheerleading squad 2 years running and girl voted Most Likely to Succeed sat in an old chair staring at her sleeping husband."..."
Nominated not only for length, but for the comedic value of the troll asking if the husband 'has an entertaining way of sleeping'. Also for the 'You can do better than this, I hope,' tacked on at the end. Great stuff ;op
And the winner is...lindiana (or scouries, depending on how you wanna look at it ;op)
Most Confusing Troll
The nominees:
BlackShanglan for: “Ah ha!
07/21/07 By: Anonymous in frankfurt
What a piece of mud! Your pseudo psychology is quirksome. Please continue with this series, I like it for all the right reasons.”
Confusing with both the insult and then the abrupt turnaround with the request for a sequel. A troll of many layers indeed. An onion of a troll.
lindiana for: "An idea for a story…
09/06/05 By: KOLKORE in USA
Ok lindiana, I confess, you have succeeded to confuse me. In this stylized riddle tale, the repeated question is the key to the story, so you can not get away without giving us the key, right? So where is it??..."
You've succeeded in confusing us as well...
SweetWitch for: “Conversely - You Amplify Our Feelings When
10/08/06 By: Anonymous in USA
the slack but talented wordmeister is brought to bear responsibility for her careless words of selfish demeanment of humans far and near for her own private self important churlish needs..."
Will comment on this when I find my dictionary.
SweetWitch for: "oh you so sickeneng sweet. who make you queen for these days why you so selly maybe another funny phoorey contests. you mouth like butters slip sliding.”
???
Daniellekitten for: "you is out so tired of yo' self hype what you act like make more anonymous enters you phony girl”
Appears to be either the same person or at the very least a first cousin of SweetWitch's troll...
I'm just gonna go with SweetWitch for the winner since all these trolls confuse the hell out of me, but she has two.
Meanest/Most Hateful Troll
The nominees:
scouries for: “You should be ashamed for having the nerve
09/16/07 by Anonymous
to publish shit like this.a story that should have never been told. "I saw the damn pictures of you with that blond puta. Now leave me alone." I still had no idea what in the hell she was talking about, but wound up chalking it up to something that I figured I would never really know. If this isn't mantal retardation I don't know what it is. You had a stroy to tell and you did so even though you had to use the main characters to "set " it up. They were simply bad actors acting out a nothing script. If this was real life it waould have read like the mentaly disabled meets the mentally challenged. Your writing is ok but your premise for a story sucks. How about Ramon. Maria basically cheated with him. The husband had done nothing wrong except that he didn't have the mental capacity to act like a real man. Maria had sex with Ramon with her kids in the same house and the retardee marries her again...who the hell reads shit like this. Go away and try to make a real story instead of some kind of crap”
Ouch.
scouries for: “Hey Scouries, you writing your own comments again, the previous two look like they were written by the same person, you!
You really are a pathetic little man. Oh, your story, I gave it a 2. That's about all it was worth.”
That is one pissed off troll...
SweetWitch for: "no filthy animal
just another idiot stupid whore, sick minded and good only for to shit into
Go KILL YOURSELF YOU UGLY OLD CUNT”
Correction, THAT is one pissed off troll!
Bonfils for: “Again you posted, again i say to you the same...youre sick, you need medical help, i feel sorry when i see an old impotent man in such pain...i dont know, maybe you choose to kill yourself, it will be the beat for all”
Wow, trolls these days seem to be really loosey-goosey about encouraging folks to kill themselves...
Alex De Kok for: “'jesus christ! this is the most convoluted piece of dog shit I've ever tried to wade through. mickey spillane you ain't. come to think of it a couple of monkeys and a typewriter and we'd have something better than this. what a complete and total waste of time.'”
Well...at least he refrained from recommending suicide.
Elfin Odalisque for: “RAAAAR!
07/31/06 By: Anonymous
The italicized text in the beginning made no sense and neither did the vast majority of what I read, which wasn't much considering I wanted to bash my brains in from the moment the torture began.”
Backclicking was too much effort to end the 'torture' eh?
And the winner...yeah, clearly SweetWitch since no other troll has captured quite that magnitude of virulent antipathy.
Closest to a Compliment
The nominees:
BlackShanglan for: “ummm
04/18/06 By: Anonymous
This is either brilliant or crap but I can't tell. All I know is that it doesn't make a tiny bit of sense to me.”
Well, she was open to the possibility that it was brilliant!
Recidiva for: “blah is a compliment
the characters and story are weak. No doubt many at Lit will enjoy it.”
Many will enjoy it!
SlycWillie for: “good
12/09/06 By: Anonymous in India
i thought it was a really good story
but as an indian i found it really racist and you sounded like borat”
Borat made a shitload of cash at the box office, so maybe you're on the right track.
SlycWillie for: “guess what?
08/17/07 By: Anonymous
Yeah, o.k., me and Mr. T both enjoyed this one. Givin' up credit where it's due - the writing was good. Not a shit's worth of originality, but *sigh* hot.”
Not a shit's worth of originality, but Mr.T as well as the troll enjoyed it! That's good troll feedback right there!
SlycWillie for: “Latin-my-ass
08/24/07 By: Anonymous in North Boston, east coast style
Slyco, slyco, slyco...The portrait is painted, but the angle's all wrong. Mr. T got all pumped up and is now limping away unsastisfied. Fuuuuuuck”
And yet he and Mr.T both came back for the third installment...Go figure.
Daniellekitten for: “---
09/29/07 by Anonymous
Be nice if you could even keep the typeface consistent. From your earlier superb work like 'Enless' and stuff with storms, tou seem to have morphed into a sausage factory, just turning out uninteresting and unbelievable daily chapters. It's getting like lunchtime soaps, pap to fill a gap. You can write so much better, I know. Give us some good writing.”
On the one hand, the troll believes in you. On the other, sausage factory...
Darkniciad for: "I am going to resist my standard practice of bottom scoring all the stories with the tenny wenny penie that also compares the massive hugh dark monstrer handing from your godlike black body. NO changed my mind bottom score for you and the Jena 6.”
He almost resisted...
The winner: SlycWillie! Despite the troll's negative language, he and Mr.T just couldn't stay away, so he's complimenting Willie whether he wants to or not.
Most Succinct Bashing of a Story
The nominees:
scouries for: “Oh…Sarahhh
Not loving wives thats for sure
11/07/06 By: Anonymous
I guess Loving wives is not your catagory!!!!!!!!!!!!”
SweetWitch for: “Too
10/13/06 By: Anonymous
sappy.”
Darkniciad for: “didn't like the TV show
11/13/06 By: Anonymous
like this even less”
sr71plt for: “Please stop writing
10/16/06 by Anonymous in Oz
Please stop writing. The world thanks you!”
And the winner: sr71plt for “09/07/07Anonymous
(blank),” with a zero rating.
Ladies and gentlemen, your champions!
slyc_willie
Captain Crash
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2006
- Posts
- 17,732
*sniff*
They hate me! They really really hate me!
I accept my dubious honors and will place them on my mantle . . . once I get a mantle, that is.
They hate me! They really really hate me!
I accept my dubious honors and will place them on my mantle . . . once I get a mantle, that is.
SweetWitch
Green Goddess
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2005
- Posts
- 20,370
Wow. My troll captured quite a magnitude of virulent antipathy. I'm so honored. I hadn't looked at it that way. It's nice to know that I can elicit such emotion from so small a creature.
Now, where's my prize?
(MizD, it was kind of you to take the time. Thanks for the giggle.)
Now, where's my prize?
(MizD, it was kind of you to take the time. Thanks for the giggle.)
G
Guest
Guest
slyc_willie said:*sniff*
They hate me! They really really hate me!
I accept my dubious honors and will place them on my mantle . . . once I get a mantle, that is.
Hang them from your - um - towel.
M
MzDeviancy
Guest
SweetWitch said:Now, where's my prize?
You have your choice between all the paperclips I can steal from work, a button, and a demonic kitten that was foisted off on me by some horrible girl in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
scouries
Literotica's #1 Author
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2005
- Posts
- 4,989
part 2....
I chanced across this comment yesterday in the FEEDBACK PORTAL and immediately was attracted to it since of course Masterhypnotist is one of Literotica’s most famous authors. Also a member of the 1000+ VOTE CLUB. Quite simply he is the #1 MIND CONTROL category author of all time.
I never knew he actually did hypnotisms right in his stories. Upon investigating I find he has quite a few TEXT WITH AUDIO stories, except they don’t have text. Which is a problem for me because I’ve never figured out how to listen to these audio stories.
However, if you know how to listen to these stories I’d suggest you go and get hypnotized.
He does seem to have got quite a variety of responses.
FYI I think poor old Masterhypnotist has passed on, at least that’s what a couple of his old friends tell me.
bull
10/09/07 by Anonymous in canada
what a giant load of crap
Orgasmed
12/30/06 by Anonymous in Canada
I don't masturbate, ever. But my fiance wasn't feeling it this weekend and I sat here and I listened to and I let myself fall into and I didn't let myself think what a load of crap, but I did orgasm, and that's the second time ever I've made myself orgasm. I don't know what it was. Maybe I was just horny as hell ;-)
go home!!!
06/13/06 by Anonymous in down south USA
i have listined to better crap on a marilyn manson cd .....and his crap dont work eather.....!!!
hmm
06/05/06 by Anonymous
Hmm..I think I was hypnotized, & I certainly did relax, but no orgasm. I simply need more time between beginning & end - then again, I almost never manage to get off by my own hands, so it may be that I wouldn't really climax no matter how long you gave me.
Very disappointing
05/20/06 by Anonymous in Australia
The audio quality is very poor and your voice isn't what I consider sexy. I listened to the entire audio and by the end of it your voice annoyed me! Nothing relaxing or mildly orgasmic about this audio
first orgasm
02/03/06 by Anonymous in ireland
your voice is so sexy!! at first i was kinda sceptical but then i got into it. i followed all the instructions and loved it when you told me to get naked. i had never orgasmed brfore listening to this but i did while listening!! i was still cumming at the last countdown! you should totally do more of these! Xx
To low
06/29/04 by Anonymous in Usa
The audio is to low. I had a hard time hearing him. I came but it was the best i ever had.
Glorious
03/12/04 by Anonymous in MI, USA
I listened to this twice in a row...and came both times. Beautiful.
i fell asleep
01/30/04 by Anonymous
the voice is so boring, the tone is so monotonous, and the words are so plain ....
“ADVANCED INDUCTION FOR WOMEN”
by MASTERHYPNOTIST
A TEXT WITH AUDIO STORY
? VIEWS
112 VOTES
28 PUBLIC COMMENTS
[size=+2]TODAYS WORST COMMENT[/SIZE]
I chanced across this comment yesterday in the FEEDBACK PORTAL and immediately was attracted to it since of course Masterhypnotist is one of Literotica’s most famous authors. Also a member of the 1000+ VOTE CLUB. Quite simply he is the #1 MIND CONTROL category author of all time.
I never knew he actually did hypnotisms right in his stories. Upon investigating I find he has quite a few TEXT WITH AUDIO stories, except they don’t have text. Which is a problem for me because I’ve never figured out how to listen to these audio stories.
However, if you know how to listen to these stories I’d suggest you go and get hypnotized.
He does seem to have got quite a variety of responses.
FYI I think poor old Masterhypnotist has passed on, at least that’s what a couple of his old friends tell me.
bull
10/09/07 by Anonymous in canada
what a giant load of crap
Orgasmed
12/30/06 by Anonymous in Canada
I don't masturbate, ever. But my fiance wasn't feeling it this weekend and I sat here and I listened to and I let myself fall into and I didn't let myself think what a load of crap, but I did orgasm, and that's the second time ever I've made myself orgasm. I don't know what it was. Maybe I was just horny as hell ;-)
go home!!!
06/13/06 by Anonymous in down south USA
i have listined to better crap on a marilyn manson cd .....and his crap dont work eather.....!!!
hmm
06/05/06 by Anonymous
Hmm..I think I was hypnotized, & I certainly did relax, but no orgasm. I simply need more time between beginning & end - then again, I almost never manage to get off by my own hands, so it may be that I wouldn't really climax no matter how long you gave me.
Very disappointing
05/20/06 by Anonymous in Australia
The audio quality is very poor and your voice isn't what I consider sexy. I listened to the entire audio and by the end of it your voice annoyed me! Nothing relaxing or mildly orgasmic about this audio
first orgasm
02/03/06 by Anonymous in ireland
your voice is so sexy!! at first i was kinda sceptical but then i got into it. i followed all the instructions and loved it when you told me to get naked. i had never orgasmed brfore listening to this but i did while listening!! i was still cumming at the last countdown! you should totally do more of these! Xx
To low
06/29/04 by Anonymous in Usa
The audio is to low. I had a hard time hearing him. I came but it was the best i ever had.
Glorious
03/12/04 by Anonymous in MI, USA
I listened to this twice in a row...and came both times. Beautiful.
i fell asleep
01/30/04 by Anonymous
the voice is so boring, the tone is so monotonous, and the words are so plain ....
“ADVANCED INDUCTION FOR WOMEN”
by MASTERHYPNOTIST
A TEXT WITH AUDIO STORY
? VIEWS
112 VOTES
28 PUBLIC COMMENTS
SweetWitch
Green Goddess
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2005
- Posts
- 20,370
Um... The paperclips, please. I can use them on all these rejection letters.MzDeviancy said:
SweetWitch
Green Goddess
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2005
- Posts
- 20,370
Jenny_Jackson
Psycho Bitch
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2006
- Posts
- 10,872
Okay? You EXPECTED better? Take your expectations and go fuck yourself, asswipe!
A story is what a story is, not what you bloody EXPECT. If your tiny little pee pee didn't get hard, that's your problem, not mine. You want to jerk your little wee wee with tweezers than go read someone elses shit. I don't write the porn you seem to think is "mainstream" literature.
I'll bet you never had a library card in your life either. Go figure
Varian P
writing again
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2004
- Posts
- 1,429
two golden oldies
I confess, my feelings are a little hurt. I've been writing at this site for years, have probably posted something like thirty stories under various pen names, but seem utterly unable to attract my fair share of stalking trolls. Except for one comment long ago accusing me of penning my own exuberant PCs, this is the best I can come up with:
Good, but could be better (score: 75)
06/09/06 By: (xxx) in USA
With that barebacked sex it is too bad you did not cum in her pussy and give her a baby.
Unprotected (score: 100)
06/08/06 By: Anonymous in I will not tell!
These stories are always just a tad better when the element of unprotected sex is added in. Then it isn't just a simple rape, but it is a rape with consequences. I've never raped anyone in real life, of course, but I have managed to lose my condom in the middle of things several, several times. It's still doing something without permission and I deeply enjoy the notion that the young thing in my bed who thinks she's having a carefree time may well end up with a surprise.
(note, please, the similarity of sentiment, and the close proximity in which the comments appeared. I half fear that even this paltry offering of trollmanship might be the result of a single reader).
I confess, my feelings are a little hurt. I've been writing at this site for years, have probably posted something like thirty stories under various pen names, but seem utterly unable to attract my fair share of stalking trolls. Except for one comment long ago accusing me of penning my own exuberant PCs, this is the best I can come up with:
Good, but could be better (score: 75)
06/09/06 By: (xxx) in USA
With that barebacked sex it is too bad you did not cum in her pussy and give her a baby.
Unprotected (score: 100)
06/08/06 By: Anonymous in I will not tell!
These stories are always just a tad better when the element of unprotected sex is added in. Then it isn't just a simple rape, but it is a rape with consequences. I've never raped anyone in real life, of course, but I have managed to lose my condom in the middle of things several, several times. It's still doing something without permission and I deeply enjoy the notion that the young thing in my bed who thinks she's having a carefree time may well end up with a surprise.
(note, please, the similarity of sentiment, and the close proximity in which the comments appeared. I half fear that even this paltry offering of trollmanship might be the result of a single reader).
MarshAlien
Marshini, anyone? Hic!
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2007
- Posts
- 1,426
From A Hallowed Tale:
Thanks for all the hard work on my behalf. Please don't feel obliged to look at the other contest story.
Thanks for all the hard work on my behalf. Please don't feel obliged to look at the other contest story.
jomar
chillin
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2006
- Posts
- 27,814
This person went all the way through Chase Cooder, complaining the whole way. No comment on chapter 1, then 50% votes on chapters 2 and 3, then as low as you can go for the rest.
Well, it was set up as an over-the-top type thing.
Explanation? Swallow this!
I have no idea what s/he's talking about. The numbers actually do add up when you use the right ones. And I made some shit up - it's a story. Besides, they're electric not perpetual motion.
Pick, pick, pick.
Am I threatening you?
University professor?
I guess s/he likes lesbian sex. Sort of.
Thanks for the 1-bomb then. And to be honest s/he has a point - the Lit version is a shortened version of a much longer story. But damn, you're being harsh. I...have feelings.
Well, it was set up as an over-the-top type thing.
Explanation? Swallow this!
I have no idea what s/he's talking about. The numbers actually do add up when you use the right ones. And I made some shit up - it's a story. Besides, they're electric not perpetual motion.
Pick, pick, pick.
Am I threatening you?
University professor?
I guess s/he likes lesbian sex. Sort of.
Thanks for the 1-bomb then. And to be honest s/he has a point - the Lit version is a shortened version of a much longer story. But damn, you're being harsh. I...have feelings.
Last edited:
MarshAlien
Marshini, anyone? Hic!
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2007
- Posts
- 1,426
jomar said:Can't keep a straight face when you see 'goober gobbler.'
Apparently, that should have been Professor Jomar.
larfing so damn hard
Oh, oh, oh, stop! No, no, stop! Please, you're killing me! Oh, oh, oh!
Ever noticed that when you write the above words, it could be either an orgasm, laughter, or a plea for cessation of punishment?
In my case, it is laughter. Full-chested, deep-throated (in a nice way) laughter. Ohhhh, my gods, what a funny, literate thread this has been. All of you gurus, Papists, psycho bitches and really, really experienced people have knocked my socks off. And you'll be sorry, too, because my feet stink.
Hoping to receive some negative feedback of my own someday, so I can look at it with the jaded eye that all of you have,
Pete M'Gurk
(who, as of this writing, has received no feedback whatsomever)
Oh, oh, oh, stop! No, no, stop! Please, you're killing me! Oh, oh, oh!
Ever noticed that when you write the above words, it could be either an orgasm, laughter, or a plea for cessation of punishment?
In my case, it is laughter. Full-chested, deep-throated (in a nice way) laughter. Ohhhh, my gods, what a funny, literate thread this has been. All of you gurus, Papists, psycho bitches and really, really experienced people have knocked my socks off. And you'll be sorry, too, because my feet stink.
Hoping to receive some negative feedback of my own someday, so I can look at it with the jaded eye that all of you have,
Pete M'Gurk
(who, as of this writing, has received no feedback whatsomever)
jomar
chillin
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2006
- Posts
- 27,814
petemgurk said:Oh, oh, oh, stop! No, no, stop! Please, you're killing me! Oh, oh, oh!
Ever noticed that when you write the above words, it could be either an orgasm, laughter, or a plea for cessation of punishment?
In my case, it is laughter. Full-chested, deep-throated (in a nice way) laughter. Ohhhh, my gods, what a funny, literate thread this has been. All of you gurus, Papists, psycho bitches and really, really experienced people have knocked my socks off. And you'll be sorry, too, because my feet stink.
Hoping to receive some negative feedback of my own someday, so I can look at it with the jaded eye that all of you have,
Pete M'Gurk
(who, as of this writing, has received no feedback whatsomever)
Welcome. Keep writing and post here when you get the good ones - and you will.
And be sure to visit the AH.
MarshAlien
Marshini, anyone? Hic!
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2007
- Posts
- 1,426
OK, I haven't had a lot to post on this thread recently, so I'm thinking that what I really need to do is go out and create some bad public feedback. I have this story, about a mystery writer, his wife, his wife's best friend, and their worst enemy, who get involved with a group of liberal Catholic pornographer terrorist monks.
I'm getting ready to submit, and I'm thinking Loving Wives because, you see, the mystery writer has sex with his wife. And it's an adventure. And the category is described as "Tales of adventurous married women & their mates."
This is what's known as going trolling...
Wish me luck.
I'm getting ready to submit, and I'm thinking Loving Wives because, you see, the mystery writer has sex with his wife. And it's an adventure. And the category is described as "Tales of adventurous married women & their mates."
This is what's known as going trolling...
Wish me luck.
SweetWitch
Green Goddess
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2005
- Posts
- 20,370
I'll get the iodine and burn ointment ready.MarshAlien said:
MarshAlien
Marshini, anyone? Hic!
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2007
- Posts
- 1,426
SweetWitch said:I'll get the iodine and burn ointment ready.
And show up to rub it all over? I should have posted here a long time ago!
l8bloom
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2006
- Posts
- 468
Damn!! I wish I'd discovered this thread earlier. For I hit the delete key on a perfect gem. More or less, it said:
Rating: 0
"story lacks any meaning, yur team got swept anyway. For a umbalance and potntally danger writer, yur sentence structure is surprisingly good"
[signed] sox fan in florida
I'd like to think sox fan is trying to say I'm dangerous. But perhaps I flatter myself. It's not as if one of my characters is a talking cock (Hi, JJ).
Rating: 0
"story lacks any meaning, yur team got swept anyway. For a umbalance and potntally danger writer, yur sentence structure is surprisingly good"
[signed] sox fan in florida
I'd like to think sox fan is trying to say I'm dangerous. But perhaps I flatter myself. It's not as if one of my characters is a talking cock (Hi, JJ
).
SweetWitch
Green Goddess
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2005
- Posts
- 20,370
Oh, Damn. NOW my muse decides to pay attention. I'm seeing a world populated by talking penises all chasing the rare and elusive silver pussy.l8bloom said:Damn!! I wish I'd discovered this thread earlier. For I hit the delete key on a perfect gem. More or less, it said:
Rating: 0
"story lacks any meaning, yur team got swept anyway. For a umbalance and potntally danger writer, yur sentence structure is surprisingly good"
[signed] sox fan in florida
I'd like to think sox fan is trying to say I'm dangerous. But perhaps I flatter myself. It's not as if one of my characters is a talking cock (Hi, JJ
I think I need to go back to bed.
SweetWitch
Green Goddess
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2005
- Posts
- 20,370
Rub it all over what? That?MarshAlien said:
Where's that magnifying glass?
